Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Disneyland > Disneyland Trip Reports > California & the West Trip Reports
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 08-06-2014, 03:33 PM   #1
Captain_Oblivious
DIS Dad #257
Don't underestimate your audience. I'm sure there's a fart joke in here somewhere
 
Captain_Oblivious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 8,093

The Dry Heat Expedition (Nevada, Utah, Arizona, Disneyland)--UPDATE 12/17

August 2014

Department of Analysis and Redundancy Department

Final Report


In July 2014, a family of six from Delaware (with 4 children, including an infant) embarked on a journey deep into the American Southwest. Despite numerous repeated warnings concerning the heat, lack of facilities and emergency care in remote areas, and the numerous perils involved in traveling with a baby, this family pressed on, undaunted.

The Analysis Team has reached the conclusion that this family is a bunch of idiots.

The following report contains an unedited transcript of the daily journal kept by the father during their travels, discovered by our team in the aftermath. No attempt has been made by our Analysis Team to correct any grammatical mistakes, factual errors, obsolete information or generally stupid comments. In the same way, no attempt has been made to make the transcript “legible”, “coherent”, or “entertaining”. The goal is to present the information in honest, objective fashion, so that other families may learn from their mistakes and perhaps have the wisdom not to repeat their folly.

As best as our team can tell, this family consists of 2 adults and 4 children.

Adult (allegedly) #1: Mark, white male, age 39. Background collection (i.e. a Google search) reveals he is a highway engineer for the state of Delaware and a lifelong fan of Philadelphia sports teams, which gives insight into the quality of his decision-making abilities. Photo analysis reveals ever-changing facial hair and possible high cholesterol due to dietary choices (see decision-making abilities above).

Adult #2: Julie, white female, age 29 and holding. Part-time teacher and full-time mother, also amateur photographer. She has been married to Mark for 16 years, which gives insight into the quality of her decision-making abilities. Photo analysis reveals incomparable beauty and...huh? Sorry, I got lost in thought for a second there. Ahem.

Child #1: Sarah, white female, age 12. Full-time student. Enjoys the outdoors, hiking, arts & crafts, movies, and getting dirty in pursuit of the above.

Child #2: David, white male, age 10. Full-time student. Enjoys sports, sports, sports, reading, sports, and possibly sports.

Child #3: Scott, white male, age 8. Full-time student. Enjoys superhero and Star Wars movies, football, and cute cuddly animals. Background research shows a history of eccentric behavior that may have inspired a previous report by this Department.

Child #4: Andrew (Drew), white male, age 6 months. Full-time mooch. Enjoys eating, burping, farting, pooping, puking, shrieking at inappropriate times. Definitely related to the father. Shows possible insomniac tendencies. Will manipulate others by charming them with a dazzling smile.

The family does not appear to have been vigilant about posing for photographs together since the birth of the infant, but our researchers did un-earth this hastily-Photoshopped family portrait which nevertheless looks entirely natural:



It appears that this family attempted to travel in circular fashion—starting in Las Vegas, heading north to Utah to see Bryce Canyon and Zion National Parks, then south to Arizona to visit the Grand Canyon and Phoenix, then abruptly heading west for California and a local tourist trap known as “Disneyland” before returning to Las Vegas. Again, this trip was attempted in the middle of the summer, in the desert, with a 6-month-old. What could possibly go wrong?

This is the final report of the Department. Please follow standard security protocols when handling material of a sensitive nature.

Coming Up Next: Departure Day. Or, Infant Care at 30,000 Feet.

Last edited by Captain_Oblivious; 12-17-2014 at 04:15 PM.
Captain_Oblivious is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 03:34 PM   #2
Captain_Oblivious
DIS Dad #257
Don't underestimate your audience. I'm sure there's a fart joke in here somewhere
 
Captain_Oblivious's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Delaware
Posts: 8,093

Table Of Contents

Nevada
July 19, 2014
Journal Entry #1
Journal Entry #2
July 20, 2014
Journal Entry #3
Journal Entry #3, part 2
Utah
Journal Entry #4
July 21, 2014
Journal Entry #5
Journal Entry #6
Journal Entry #6, part 2
July 22, 2014
Journal Entry #7
Journal Entry #8
July 23, 2014
Journal Entry #9
Arizona
Journal Entry #10
Journal Entry #11
Journal Entry #12
Journal Entry #13
Journal Entry #14
Journal Entry #15

Last edited by Captain_Oblivious; 12-17-2014 at 04:15 PM.
Captain_Oblivious is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 08-06-2014, 03:41 PM   #3
KatMark
DIS Veteran
 
KatMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Carol Stream, IL
Posts: 40,642

I'm here...back to read.

****Great intros, as always, Mark. I am
__________________

Last edited by KatMark; 08-06-2014 at 04:01 PM.
KatMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 03:50 PM   #4
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes
DDC 469
Never mind the Kool-Aid, don’t drink the Beverly!
If it’s still here tomorrow… I may ignore it again
 
GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Along the Nation Ford, SC
Posts: 5,984

Joining in and also joining in.
I’m also maintaining a backup plan of joining in.


GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 03:50 PM   #5
Flossbolna
Sea days are just so relaxing!
Once you are as old as I am, you will understand!
 
Flossbolna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Nuremberg, Germany
Posts: 6,937



great introduction!!!!
__________________
Disneyland 1992, 2005 Disneyland Paris 1995, 1997, 2003, 2007, 2011, 2x2012, 2014 Walt Disney World 2004 POR, 2007 AKL, 2008 AKL, 2009 Poly, 2010 AKL, 2011 BWV, May 2013 AKV Jambo Disney Cruise Line 2013 Wonder, 2014 Wonder
Trip Reports: 2013 TR DCL and WDW 2011 TR 2010 TR 2010 PTR Dining Reviews: 2009 2008 2007
New Trip Report: If You See It: Eat It! – Via Panama to Disneyland

Flossbolna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 03:56 PM   #6
jedijill
Chiefs fan living in Bronco country
It was a popular place after partying on Saturday nights
 
jedijill's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 5,656

OMG...I'm rolling right now. Fantastic start!

Jill in CO
__________________
jedijill is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 03:57 PM   #7
Poolrat
I am alive, sometimes I wonder too!
I probably would be glued to the side
 
Poolrat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte NC
Posts: 8,640

Just the font had me cracking up.

First thing I will do when get home is read. Stopped at a light now so I think I should wait.
__________________
POOLRAT PATI am a Disney Dork. 75- Contemporary,77- offsite Hyatt,86- offsite 1 day trip,88- offsite 1 day trip,98- Contemporary w/kids,01- All Stars Movies,05- Boardwalk,06- Coronado,07- Carribbean Beach,08- Beach Club,Oct 09 - POP/Coronado, Dec09/Jan 10 ASMu/ CSR , July '10-POP, Sept '10 POFQ,Oct '10 2X for F&W @ POP Oct'11-ASSp Dec '11-DVC SSR/AKL July '12- BCV, Sept '12- DL, Oct '12- BCV, Dec'12-POP Jan '13- OKW May '13-BWV Oct '13- BCV DEC '13- BCV May14-POP Aug 14- VWL Oct '14-DL Feb '15 -AKVK
Can't wait to go back
Poolrat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:02 PM   #8
afwdwfan
DIS Dad #460
You should always make room for a loophole when you need it
 
afwdwfan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Indiana
Posts: 10,403

I'm here. I'll be back eventually to read.
afwdwfan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:10 PM   #9
KelleyK75
DIS Veteran
 
KelleyK75's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 924

Joining in. Great start! I can tell this is going to be a fun TR.
__________________
Many visits in 1994, 1995 - offsite

Sept 2010 - CBR

March 2014 - POR

Next trip....Hoping for a few days in Feb. 2015 and planning birthday trip Dec 2015. And hopefully one sooner.

Setting goal to run the Princess Half Marathon, 2016.
KelleyK75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:11 PM   #10
franandaj

Sharing adventures and good times
My heart is forever given to Fran
 
franandaj's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Long Beach, CA, VWL, BCV, SSR & VGC
Posts: 23,346

Great start to the TR. So if Sarah is going to follow in her mother's footsteps and marry at 13, you better start working on finding her a suitor...

I just did the math from your introductions...

__________________
Alison ~~~~ She said it wouldn't be Boring! | Our Disney Dream Home|Sleepy and Grumpy Visit Tatooine |Keep Your Eyes on the Road | I do get to go to WDW this year! | Expo 2013 | ...It's How You Play the Game | We need a little Magic... | TR - Pinch me... | Destination D-75 TR | It'll be a WONDER ... | Cheating on Mickey w/ Harry, PTR | D23 Expo 2011 TR | D23 D40 WDW in Detail | DCA F&W Review | Jan 2010 DR Visits 2015: VGC, VWL, DCL 2014: VGC, CSR, VGF, DCL 2013: VWL, BCV, DCL, AKL, BLT, VGC, 2012: VGC, DCL, 2011: VGC, BLT, OKW 2010: THV, AKV, VGC, 2009: BWV 2008: SSR, 2007: AKL & GF, 2001: AKL, BC & DCL 1997: DXL & WL 1993: GF, DL Too many to count since 1973!

franandaj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:19 PM   #11
mickeystoontown
DIS Veteran
 
mickeystoontown's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Bayou Country, La.
Posts: 25,964

Joining in on the fun! I usually catch your reports mid-to half way done so I don't post. I'll make it a point to change that since I found this one early on.
__________________

2014 trip report: Disney dangled the visual weinee and Mickeystoontown gobbled it up! Our two week adventure!
http://www.disboards.com/showthread....6#post51642226


mickeystoontown is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:37 PM   #12
glennbo123
DIS Veteran
 
glennbo123's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 9,201

Thanks for the signal flare. I definitely needed to be rescued from my mundane workaday chores. Now back to read...

...okay, I'm back. I'm just picturing those poor government agents (DIS-friendly term) in the Department of Analysis and Redundancy Department who had to pore through those inane notes of Adult (allegedly) #1. Jackets off, sleeves rolled-up, ties loosened enough to be comfortable but still meet the acceptability standards of the higher-ups, ashtrays full of cigarette butts, and coffee-stains on documents spread across the conference room table. They knew if they messed this up, they were going to be in for it.

Yeah, that's right.

If they messed this up...

their next assignment........

would be.............................

in the highway department.

Last edited by glennbo123; 08-06-2014 at 04:50 PM.
glennbo123 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 04:49 PM   #13
2xcited2sleep
DIS Veteran
 
2xcited2sleep's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 7,349

Count me in!! Have really enjoyed your previous adventures - especially Hawaii. Will do my best to keep up!
__________________
Christine

2xcited2sleep is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 05:05 PM   #14
KatMark
DIS Veteran
 
KatMark's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Carol Stream, IL
Posts: 40,642

Quote:
Originally Posted by 2xcited2sleep View Post
Count me in!! Have really enjoyed your previous adventures - especially Hawaii. Will do my best to keep up!
Christine; good to see you on the DIS.
__________________
KatMark is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-06-2014, 05:33 PM   #15
Cinderella's Fella
DIS Dad #215
Carpe Bacon
And no more candy and caffeine for the rest of you
 
Cinderella's Fella's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Maryland, Land of Merry!
Posts: 13,196

Don't mind me, I'm just here to lurk...

__________________
DW Jodi Me Randall DISDads Chief Bacon Officer!



Cinderella's Fella is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
disneyland, grand canyon, southwest, trip reports



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:51 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

You Rated this Thread: