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Old 04-30-2014, 03:05 PM   #1
pkondz
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Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - update 28/06 - Coffee? It's on me!

So after much coaxing...

coaxing....

That just doesn't look right, does it?
Too much like coaxial, as in cable.

co-xing?
No. Looks like short form cross country skiing.
(Don't get me started on skiing... too many eyes... i's... I isis... Dang it! Look what you did!!!)




So after much persuading, I was coaxed into....
Oh, Gawd....


There I was. Strapped to an uncomfortable chair.
Someone I've never met is holding a lump of burning coal.
He (or she) approaches. I can feel the heat emanating from the coal.
"So." He (or she) says. "Will you write another trip report?"
"No!" I scream as the coal brushes my arm. "Never again! I swear!"
"No, no, no." He (or she) hisses. Or was that the sound of my flesh burning?
"We don't want you to not write one. We want... No, we insist that you write one!"
"No!" I scream... again. "Anything but that!"
But as the coal begins to near and my skin starts to bubble...


What? Too dramatic?


Okay.
Some people (and you know who you are!) asked,
hmmmm.... 'asked' isn't the right word... I know...

Some people gently pushed and encouraged me to write another TR for my next upcoming trip.
(Doesn't that sound better than 'threatened'? Or 'coerced'?)


The link to my last TR, if you haven't read it and would like to, can be found by following this link:
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation


Now I realize I've created a slight breach of etiquette by skipping the classic road trip vacation and going right to the European vacation,
but that's the way it happened.
(And if that last sentence seems familiar to you,
then you'll understand why I'm planning to make one of my stops.
You'll see... or not.)

Now, let's see... right about now, you're saying to yourself,
"Blah, blah, blah. Get on with it! What are you doing? And when???"

Do you always talk to yourself?
Don't tell me, just tell yourself.




Fine, I'll get on with it.


The Meaning of the Trip.
Part 1. The Birth of the Trip.

If you've had the misfortune of reading one of my previous TRs,
(you poor, poor sap)
than you already know the players.

If not, then....
There's me.
I'm married to Ruby and we have two evil, horrible children.
Elle, a newly minted 17 year old, and Kay, 13... going on 30.

Ya want pictures? Go see my last TR, or wait for 'em to show up later.
Or not.
(Which is my way of saying that I'm at work right now and don't have access to any)


Elle's been dancing since she was two.
I don't mean around the house... well, she does that too.
What I mean is that we enrolled her at a studio when she was two.
Tutu's for Twos.
Basically, the rugrats get to dress up in little dance outfits and learn to listen to the teacher.
So far as I can recall, she enjoyed it.

Five or six years ago, we encouraged her to try out for I.P. (Intensive Program) dance.
More dance, more instruction.
They compete against other studios.
And if they're good enough (you have to qualify),
they get invited to Nationals or whatever.

It can get fairly pricey.
Which is why the parents put their collective feet down and said we'd travel every second year.
Four years ago we went to Vancouver, two years ago, Montreal.
This year it's Niagara Falls.


Flights for four people and car rental would run over two thousand dollars.
Geez! We just got back from Europe! Now is not a great time to spend.

"Well." Says Ruby, says she. "Why don't just you and Elle go?"

Hmmm... that would cut the airfare in half.
Plus, Kay doesn't even want to go.
I don't blame her. These things aren't all that much fun for her.
Hours of sitting around waiting for Elle to dance, followed by more hours of waiting.

Boring! (You can take that as Kay's sentiment... or your own for this TR)


Wait a minute! Wait just a gosh darned minute!
You said "road trip"! Not plane trip! What gives?

I'm glad you asked!


When I started looking at prices, it occurred to me that it might not be much more to drive, instead of fly.

Oh, it'll be more to drive, when you factor in food and gas... but not much...
Besides...

I love road trips.


Kay... does not. She feels lousy if she's in a car for too long.


So let's drive to Niagara Falls!
Just Elle and I.

Not quite.


One of Elle's best friends in her dance team... heck, even outside it...
is having a bit of a rough go of it right now. (we'll call her Dee)
Her Dad has cancer, and, depending on how he feels, may or may not be able to make the trip.
If he can't, his wife (Dee's mom) would have to stay behind too.

So we offered to take Dee with us.
Turns out Elle and Dee love road trips too.

So a trip was born.


Just me and two teenage girls....
Who tend to be a little crazy when they're together...
And let's not even mention hormones........

Oh. My. Gawd.
What have I done???



Details? Sure!

Plans, stops, attractions, maybe even a DISmeet or three...
Plus (for those of you who joined from the last TR) the cliffhanger and drama revealed!!!!

In the .... following chapters.
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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. - Allan Arbus as Dr. Sidney Freedman - RIP

Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



1977 - offsite 1987 - offsite 1992 - offsite 2005 - POR (never going offsite again!!!) 2009 - ASMu

Last edited by pkondz; 06-28-2014 at 12:37 AM.
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Old 04-30-2014, 03:06 PM   #2
pkondz
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PTR update #1.Beauty out of Pain
PTR update #2.This way to the segue!
PTR update #3.A mini-PTR for a mini-TR, pre-TR
PTR update #4.The details
PTR update #5.mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Ottawa Day 1.Learning patience through pizza
Ottawa Day 2.A capital DIS meet!
Ottawa Day 3.On your feet soldier...
Ottawa Day 4.Coffee? It's on me!

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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. - Allan Arbus as Dr. Sidney Freedman - RIP

Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



1977 - offsite 1987 - offsite 1992 - offsite 2005 - POR (never going offsite again!!!) 2009 - ASMu

Last edited by pkondz; 06-28-2014 at 12:38 AM.
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Old 04-30-2014, 03:22 PM   #3
jedijill
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Look kids, there's Big Ben!

Ooops, wrong report. Oh well, I'm here anyway....might as well stay to here about the road trip

Jill in CO
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Old 04-30-2014, 03:24 PM   #4
pkondz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jedijill View Post
Look kids, there's Big Ben!

Ooops, wrong report. Oh well, I'm here anyway....might as well stay to here about the road trip

Jill in CO
Whoa! That was fast!
Are you... are you..... stalking me????

I'm okay with that if you are. Just wondering.

Welcome!!
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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. - Allan Arbus as Dr. Sidney Freedman - RIP

Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



1977 - offsite 1987 - offsite 1992 - offsite 2005 - POR (never going offsite again!!!) 2009 - ASMu
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Old 04-30-2014, 03:27 PM   #5
jedijill
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pkondz View Post
Whoa! That was fast!
Are you... are you..... stalking me????

I'm okay with that if you are. Just wondering.

Welcome!!
Well, I'm supposed to be putting together a newsletter for work but I don't really want to so I'm checking email and Dis updates instead.

Jill in CO
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Old 04-30-2014, 04:22 PM   #6
mmeb144


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Since you haven't actually taken the trip yet, how about some dates and places so I can plan to meet you. Or, you can plan to avoid me...
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Old 04-30-2014, 05:24 PM   #7
pkondz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jedijill View Post
Well, I'm supposed to be putting together a newsletter for work but I don't really want to so I'm checking email and Dis updates instead.
I should hope so!
Some things are important and work is not one of those things!


uhhh.... Your newsletter doesn't contain important advances in the field of heart surgery or something, does it?


Quote:
Originally Posted by mmeb144 View Post
Since you haven't actually taken the trip yet, how about some dates and places so I can plan to meet you. Or, you can plan to avoid me...
Then what will I have to write about in the next chapter????
Just for planning porpoises (which I hope will earn your seal of approval), I'll PM you the dates and places.

And welcome to the new mad house!
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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. - Allan Arbus as Dr. Sidney Freedman - RIP

Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



1977 - offsite 1987 - offsite 1992 - offsite 2005 - POR (never going offsite again!!!) 2009 - ASMu
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Old 04-30-2014, 08:27 PM   #8
Backstage_Gal
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YAY. My brain is totally fried from work today, or I might have something more entertaining to say (kidding, entertaining is not my forte), but you will have to do with this.

Along for the ride, as always
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Old 04-30-2014, 10:44 PM   #9
pkondz
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Backstage_Gal View Post
YAY. My brain is totally fried from work today, or I might have something more entertaining to say (kidding, entertaining is not my forte), but you will have to do with this.

Along for the ride, as always
Hey Marita! Good to have you along, again!
Glad to see you're so happy about having a fried brain.

Anyone who uses the word "forte" in a sentence is entertaining.

Unless you use it like: "The army knew it had to defend the area, so they built a forte."

Then you're more sad than entertaining.
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Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. - Allan Arbus as Dr. Sidney Freedman - RIP

Teenage Mutant Backseat Dancers - A Canadian Buffoon Adventure
Canadian Buffoon's Vacation - PTR/mini TR
Canadian Buffoon European Vacation
Just a silly little TR - run away!



1977 - offsite 1987 - offsite 1992 - offsite 2005 - POR (never going offsite again!!!) 2009 - ASMu
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Old 05-01-2014, 09:49 AM   #10
orangecats2
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You started!!! And I'm here!!!

Did I make page 1?
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:08 AM   #11
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Looking forward to another of your adventures
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Old 05-01-2014, 12:07 PM   #12
Thumper_Man
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Quote:
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You started!!! And I'm here!!!

Did I make page 1?
Yup. You did. Question is did I make page one? I'll soon find out.
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Old 05-01-2014, 12:17 PM   #13
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Oh thank goodness! Something to keep my mind occupied while I try desperately not to kill one of my co-workers. Distractions are a girls best friend, and what's a better distraction that reading about you taking a road trip with two rambunctious, teenage, hormonal girls!

Count me in!
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Old 05-01-2014, 12:53 PM   #14
Mac Brew
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I might be too late to make page one. But I could be first on page two either way it will be a first for myself. looking forward to your interpitation of the falls at Niagera.
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Old 05-01-2014, 10:35 PM   #15
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'I'm just fine with the terms "coerced" and "threatened" says one of the "shes" with the burning coals.

Asked and persuaded sound way too tame for this group. Yeesh, don't you know us for the bloodthirsty savages we are from Nebo's TRs?

A leopard, or at least this one, can't change it's spots.

Can't wait Pkondz, just wish I could meet up with you guys.

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