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Old 12-04-2013, 07:13 AM   #31
lauradis
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Depends on the kid and the job.

My son is in high school, is a cheerleader, and is taking drivers ed on the weekends.

Not many jobs would work around all of that.

I want him to enjoy school and do extra-curricular activities rather than get a job.

I was pretty much forced to work all through high school (my, how times have changed with my parents) and to this day hold a grudge against my parents for it.
how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:22 AM   #32
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I don't think it is a should or should not. It depends on the student.

We've been through 3 older teens. (The last is only 14). Child one, no job was taking a full college load in high school, number 2 ran track as well as taking part time college courses. He would work about 20 hours a week in the local sub shop. Far more social than the first and needed more cash. The third works a lot of hours. He is a lifeguard and takes a college prep load and is only taking 2 college courses a semester. He is always busy studying, working, or enjoying his friends but is happiest when busy.

Working in a strong college, I tend to think that kids who have never worked for someone else are lacking a bit. You learn a different set of people skills and life skills. I can usually tell which kids haven't had this experience. Of course if mommy is still running their work lives the benefits are nil!
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:36 AM   #33
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how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.
Not the OP, but my parents "forced" me as well. I knew at 10 years old that I would have to leave the house at 18- end of story, no matter if I was working, at school or anything else. It was hand in my key at 18 and walk away. Yes, it did happen as well- not 18th birthday but about a month after.

My parents didn't go to college, so they were of a work full time, get your own place after graduation mindset.

So at the age of 10 I knew this. I began babysitting in earnest at 12 and kept on working.

I also knew that all extracurricular expenses for high school were to be paid by me: senior prom, senior trip, class ring, you name it I paid for it.

I also knew that if I wanted my own phone and phone line (this was the 80's no cell phone) was also paid by me.

There was a time after I turned 18 (bad apartment situation) I went back home. I was working full time and going to college full time. I paid rent to my parents for living there- at that time I got my key back.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:40 AM   #34
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Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:45 AM   #35
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Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?
Hey dumb nosy question are my style lol

Sounds like they didn't have a phone. Or she wanted her own line.
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Old 12-04-2013, 07:49 AM   #36
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I honestly hope that some of the kids of those who don't believe that their kids should work until out of school end up employed by my kid. I believe that education is learned not just from books or in classrooms but in real world situations.

I want my kid babysitting, reffing soccer games and doing unpaid internships to get that real world experience. My kid will pay for college, a car, gas, a phone and will only get that through hard work.

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Old 12-04-2013, 07:51 AM   #37
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how did they force you. I have heard of some parents say no work no car.
Not who you asked but I was pretty much "forced" to work as well. I had to pay for anything fun myself for the most part, I was given an old clunker of a car (which was great of my parents since many of my friends did not have a car at all) but I had to pay for insurance, gas, upkeep. Dad would pay for these things, but he knew when I got paid and was always there asking me for money. No job, no fun things per my Dad

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Dumb nosy question....why did you need your own phone? They wouldn't let you make calls?
Not who you quoted...same reason most kids want something....all the others had their own line. Plus I would talk for hours on the phone in the kitchen and you never wanted your parents to hear what you were talking about especially boys you liked or if you were GASP talking to a boy. I finally got one and that was a Christmas gift, but I think I was a Jr in high school and most of my friends got one in 8th grade.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:01 AM   #38
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lol, thanks! I'm older, probably, but never knew anyone who had their own line as a teen.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:05 AM   #39
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I worked late some nights but I was a hostess and only worked maybe three nights a week.

At my school they had a school to work program. As long a you had enough credits in 12th grade you only had to go to school half the day than you left to go to work. That left your evenings free. It was pretty cool but I didn't do it. I had credits to make up in my 12th grade year cause I homeschooled in 11th.

That being said. I personally believe now that kids shouldn't work. I think you only get 18 years to be a kid and than have to work until you retire or die. Those are a short 18 years compared to the 40+ people work. That's just me personally. I hope I can make enough so DS doesn't have to worry about it until after college but I know that's not always a reality.

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While your point is well taken, there has to be some transition between childhood and adulthood. Maturity is a gradual, on-going process. Age (18+) is fairly arbitrary and most young people begin to desire greater autonomy while they are much younger than that. While some "mcjobs" are not necessarily valuable for building a future career, the life lessons that come with accepting responsibility (having to prioritize work over leisure, having a little bit of money to manage and the concept of effort = rewards) can have lasting impact during these years.


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It really depends on the situation. I am a HS senior and consider school my job. My parents and I expect myself not to pass my classes but to ace them, and doing that takes up a lot of time that I could use to get a job.

From 7-2:30 I am in school, but the classes I have enrolled in (honors and AP courses) require outside work also. From the time I get home, I could be spending 2-3 hours doing homework and studying (more when I have lab reports to write up), and, by the time I am finished, I average out at almost 10 hours of school work done every day. Per week, it is 50+ hours, which is somewhat equivalent to a full-time job plus overtime.

Personally, I do not have a need for the money from a part-time job. I do not have a car and rarely go out with friends, and the basics are covered from my parents as long as I stay in school.
I greatly admire how you have described yourself and imagine you have a clear path towards a bright future . Our DS however, is very different. He has never been self-motivated academically and no amount of encouragement, facilitation or expectation on our part (which over the years morphed into a pattern of reward/punishment) has turned him into a scholar, an athlete, an artist or a musician. He is extremely social and his interests and strengths lie in having fun and building successful relationships.

While this is not at all what we envisioned for our child we have come to accept who he is and support positive growth in those areas. Having part-time jobs is one way of doing that and he's had some very interesting ones (teacher's assistant at a foreign-exchange student language school, cabin leader at summer camp and presently he works in the dining hall of a senior's home). We now require him to work as a means of doing "something" productive as it is clear that his high school results will be very undistinguished. At some point in his young adulthood we expect that an internal light-bulb somewhere will "go on" and he will find a path forward that will inevitably require academic upgrading, at which time we will negotiate our support for that. In the meantime, having a job is a very positive thing for him.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:11 AM   #40
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While your point is well taken, there has to be some transition between childhood and adulthood. Maturity is a gradual, on-going process. Age (18+) is fairly arbitrary and most young people begin to desire greater autonomy while they are much younger than that. While some "mcjobs" are not necessarily valuable for building a future career, the life lessons that come with accepting responsibility (having to prioritize work over leisure, having a little bit of money to manage and the concept of effort = rewards) can have lasting impact during these years.
Well stated.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:15 AM   #41
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I honestly hope that some of the kids of those who don't believe that their kids should work until out of school end up employed by my kid. I believe that education is learned not just from books or in classrooms but in real world situations.

I want my kid babysitting, reffing soccer games and doing unpaid internships to get that real world experience. My kid will pay for college, a car, gas, a phone and will only get that through hard work.
I suppose you can hope for whatever you want, but I'm not really sure why you think your child refereeing soccer games or babysitting as a teen will position him or her ahead of mine. Speaking from experience, my real world experience has not included any baby sitting, refereeing or other similar jobs and yet I'm doing quite well at 38 years of age. There is more than one path to each end.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:21 AM   #42
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I suppose you can hope for whatever you want, but I'm not really sure why you think your child refereeing soccer games or babysitting as a teen will position him or her ahead of mine. Speaking from experience, my real world experience has not included any baby sitting, refereeing or other similar jobs and yet I'm doing quite well at 38 years of age. There is more than one path to each end.
Speaking from experience....

I did the refereeing and the babysitting when I was that age. It didn't help with squat in the real world lmao. Other than possibly scar me when a 40 year old man chewed my head off during a 7 year old soccer game.
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:39 AM   #43
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lol, thanks! I'm older, probably, but never knew anyone who had their own line as a teen.
I didn't either, nor do I even recall that being something anyone would want. I too was a teen in the 80's like PP
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Old 12-04-2013, 08:58 AM   #44
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Speaking from experience....

I did the refereeing and the babysitting when I was that age. It didn't help with squat in the real world lmao. Other than possibly scar me when a 40 year old man chewed my head off during a 7 year old soccer game.
See, and I was able to fully experience that learning opportunity courtesy of my dissertation advisor (more times than I care to count)!

To be clear, I was not some layabout as a teen, nor will I allow my children to be. On a normal day I'd be at my school by 7:30 AM (usually much earlier) and was there most nights until 8:00 or 9:00 PM (most kids actually boarded at my school, so I was the rare day student). I'd be there, or at other activities elsewhere, nearly every single weekend, as well, so I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was engaged with school for a minimum of 60 hours a week, and 80+ hours was not uncommon, and so developing a work ethic was unavoidable. I just wasn't paid for the experience.

If I come to find my daughter is sitting on her bum watching TV all weekend or isn't working hard in school or engaged with extracurriculars, you can bet your last dollar that she'll be finding a job, but I don't expect that to happen.
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Old 12-04-2013, 09:09 AM   #45
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See, and I was able to fully experience that learning opportunity courtesy of my dissertation advisor (more times than I care to count)!

To be clear, I was not some layabout as a teen, nor will I allow my children to be. On a normal day I'd be at my school by 7:30 AM (usually much earlier) and was there most nights until 8:00 or 9:00 PM (most kids actually boarded at my school, so I was the rare day student). I'd be there, or at other activities elsewhere, nearly every single weekend, as well, so I'm not exaggerating when I say that I was engaged with school for a minimum of 60 hours a week, and 80+ hours was not uncommon, and so developing a work ethic was unavoidable. I just wasn't paid for the experience.

If I come to find my daughter is sitting on her bum watching TV all weekend or isn't working hard in school or engaged with extracurriculars, you can bet your last dollar that she'll be finding a job, but I don't expect that to happen.
We certainly didn't expect it either and spent many years and tons of money trying to force our "square peg" into the round hole we would have preferred before deciding to take a different approach. Working at a part-time job has now become a very important part of our DS's personal development.
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