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Old 01-14-2014, 06:56 AM   #856
DMGeurts
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamthequeen View Post
Firstly, you cannot change the past and the best thing to do is move forward and not dwell on things that cannot be changed. You know that your Dad is in a place where he is going to be taken care of. Feel blessed for that and let the rest go.

Hugs my friend.

Yes, please send me your Dad's address.

T

I also wanted to add that I know how hard it is when your parent is so far away. Charlie's mom is in a nursing home on the other side of the state - 5 hours away from us. Thank goodness for his sister, who is there almost every day to check up on her. We do help out financially, but the rest is left up to his sister. It is hard on Charlie, but there is not much else we can do.
Thank you Tess... It's just so hard to know, while I am sitting her planning Disney trips and adding magic to so many lives... There he sat - my own Dad - sad and lonely. There was no magic there for him. The future will be very different...

I k now how hard it must be for Charlie... You are right though - at least his sister is there every day for his mom, that does make a huge difference.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatMark View Post
Your family is right...you cannot change the past and you should not be so harsh on yourself. I am sure your dad knwos you did what you could when you could and he loves you all the same.

I'm glad the move went smoothly and I loved the pictures on FB.
Thank you Kathy. I am trying very hard not to be hard on myself - it's not an easy thing. And you are right... my Dad doesn't blame me for anything - he never would - it's not the way he is. He is just happy that I am there now, he is a great Dad and I have always been very lucky for that.

And please know that your brother is in my thoughts and prayers... I didn't read about him until this morning, my apologies.

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Originally Posted by ladylyons View Post
Your the best daughter you can be!! It is harder when your farther away and not able to see the every day things. All you can do is move forward and do what you can to make the changes you want now. The past can't be changed. Continued prayers for you and your family!
Thank you Sandra. I am doing the best I can now... And I am really trying hard not to look back, only forward.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisMom1981 View Post
It is so hard living apart from family. Look at all you have done to make sure your dad can retain and improve his privacy, comfort, social life, dignity, independence- while sill ensuring his health, well being and general needs are met. You are a damn good daughter- no one can be all knowing and perfect all of the time. Sending more hugs and prayers!

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Thank you Ann... Yes, you are right. Thank you very much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiniMorris View Post
Hugs D~!

Believe me, it is just as hard when the parent lives close to you! I lived less than 5 miles from my mom after my step father died. Looking back, I noticed some changes, but they were not strong enough to send out any real warning signals.

It wasn't until I went to pick her up for a shopping trip that I realized her house was much colder than it should be...digging, I found out her heat had been cut off for a couple weeks! I had been in her house each day during that time! She was good at covering things up.

We moved her in with us that afternoon...I went directly against my mother's wishes and I know I made her mad! I didn't giver her a choice. Cleaning out her house made me cry...and made me sick! This was NOT the mother I remembered!

I now know if we had not moved her she would not have made it much longer...she had decided a good way to save money was to take her meds once a week...and her memory was so bad she was skipping weeks...being a diabetic...this is NOT good!

You can't change what has happened. You can only remember it to make sure that you watch in the future. But then again, that is what history does...it is a teacher.

Much hugs and prayers! You ARE a good daughter....

Nini
Thank you Nini... And thank you for sharing your story - I am glad I am not alone. I am just happy I know what I know now, and I can take comfort in the fact that he is in a community setting... It will be very good for him... And he will have people constantly in and out of his house. I am certain that his life is much happier now than it has been for decades, and that makes me feel so much better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wood Nymph View Post
*hugs* for you, Dee. I'm so sorry for all these difficult things that you are dealing with. You have been doing a very good job of taking care of your own family, your daughters and husband, and that was very important to do. Even now that you know what you know and are able to move forward, you'll find that there are things you can't do anything about no matter how hard you try. Your father is still his own person and will still want some control over his life. At least he is safe now.
Thank you... You are right, I do need to move forward... I am doing my best not to continue to blame myself - it's so hard - but I do need to dwell on the things I can change - vs. the things I cannot.

************************************************** ********

It was truly wonderful to be home yesterday.

I thought I would share a few pictures with you all from the weekend. I hope you don't mind.

First of all... My car flipped over to 77,777.7 miles on the trip up... Honest - I was driving, and V leaned over to take the pic for me. But V told me that 7s were lucky, so we took it as a good omen.


A picture of my brother at my Dad's old house, "helping" us move...


V playing cards with Grandpa at the nursing home, the night before he was discharged.


When going through some of my Dad's pictures, and I found this one from our first trip... I'd completely forgotten about it, and I don't think it's ever been scanned. This was back when Disney offered a free family photo with the purchase of MNSSHP... So they took your photo and sent it to you a few weeks later. I am not sure where my copy of this photo went?


And then a few pictures of my Dad's new apartment...

First, his kitchen...


Then his livingroom... On the right side of the photo - which you can barely see, is his TV and 2 book cases, which are filled with family photos and several of his favorite books... I am super happy with how comfy and nice his apartment turned out in such a short time, we did a LOT of work!


And then, his bedroom...


My Dad told me yesterday morning that his new apartment is the "perfect" size for him... And he is right - it is the perfect size.

A few of his neighbors stopped by to welcome him while I was still there, which was so nice.

He is sad that we had to toss several things that he would have liked to keep. I feel badly, but we were forced to make several decisions like that, and we did the very best we could considering how much work had to be done in such a short time.

Even though his old apartment is empty... We had to store a lot of items in his garage... We have a huge pile of trash we need to discard yet (his building dumpster was full...) and we also have a HUGE donation pile, which we need to load up and donate... we just ran out of time. But his actual apartment is clean and the keys are turned in - so that is a relief.

We will be going back up this weekend to finish up our work and to hang pictures for him in his new place.

Thanks for letting me share.

************************************************** ********

I will be posting my custom order photos from last week - hopefully this morning, but for sure sometime today.

I will also be starting my next custom order. This one is quite detailed, and it will take me all of this week to do it. Since I don't have the weekend to work on it (will be at my Dad's, as mentioned above) - it will put me behind on next week's order too. Sigh. I'll just keep plugging along as much as I can, and try not to fall too much further behind.

I am also back to lifting today. YAY! Although - I don't consider myself behind on that - considering I was lifting heavy boxes/couches/TVs all weekend.

I am also back to eating right again today too... I don't think I was eating too badly while I was gone, but I know I wasn't eating enough.

Then, I am also back to Disney planning... I may not get to it this week, but it will be at the back of my mind. The girls continue to press Josh and they continue to get solid "NOs" out of him. I am not sure if we are going to get him to change his mind this time. We need to consider a Plan B attack... Sad part... We don't have a "Plan B", because Plan A has always worked in the past.

I hope you all have a wonderful day... Please know that you all have been on my mind over the last few days, and my prayers continue for those who needed them.

D~
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Old 01-14-2014, 07:14 AM   #857
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your doing what you can now and the NOW is what matters. He knows you love him. Love is what means the most.
As for the rest.. You can only do so much. you have you home with your children which comes FIRST. You have taken care of your dad as best as you could. No one is going to fault you. You are a great daughter he knows that!!

What you see in yourself is different from what your dad and everyone sees. stop blaming yourself for things you cannot manage. NO ONE sees you that way but yourself. And well... YOUR WRONG about yourself..

Love and hugs!!!
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:03 AM   #858
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Just wanted to post really quickly to say that you have been in my thoughts all weekend. I haven't had much DIS time the last few days but I was reading along on my phone. I am so thankful that you got your Dad mostly settled!
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Old 01-14-2014, 10:18 AM   #859
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Oh D~, you're post really made me sad for you. I'm sure by now you've realized that you are definitely NOT a bad daughter by anyones' standards. You are so caring about people you have never even met, so that's not someone who would knowingly fail to help their own family when needed. Sometimes as they age, parents don't want their family members to know how they're feeling or become (in their own mind) a burden to them. So, part of that was probably your Dad not willing to indicate in any way how he was feeling or getting along.

Now, though, you've got him in a wonderful situation and it sounds like he's already making new friends. What a wonderful final outcome to something that took you so by surprise just a short time ago. You've gotten soooo much accomplished in such a short amount of time. Kudos to you and Josh! And bless your heart!

I can't wait for you to get back to your planning so I can live vicariously again. I have a feeling Josh will come around. I think he knows as long as he lets his girls go, he won't have to. Hopefully one day he will want to accompany you to the happiest place on earth again. Maybe you should wait until he's asleep and begin whispering "Disney World is the best place to vacation" in his ear. Do this every chance you get and by the time the girls are away at college, HE'LL be asking YOU to go! Is that so wrong???

ETA: Loved the pics and the towel you made your Dad looked great hanging there!
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:00 PM   #860
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I've been trying to post these pictures all day, but Photobucket was not cooperating, so I am posting them from my phone.

This is last weeks custom order. I am super happy with how it turned out!






D~
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:17 PM   #861
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Yes I have been stalking your thread all day just to see this bag!

I absolutely adore it! I cannot wait to give it to my Cousin for her wedding present. Of course I'm going to have to give it up first. Just kidding!

I will definitely get some pictures of the two of us with our bags when we are in Disney next month!
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:27 PM   #862
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Your dad's new place is looking great!! Glad it's the perfect size for him.

Happy your back home and hopefully getting back to normal (well as normal as you can). Great new bag!! Love the inside print!
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Old 01-14-2014, 03:30 PM   #863
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I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Mickey bag, D. Awesome job.
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Old 01-14-2014, 04:51 PM   #864
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Love the Mnsshp picture and really really love the Mickey bag! Your dad's new place looks very cozy!

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Old 01-14-2014, 04:56 PM   #865
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LOL... I have that same sofa in my husband's basement office!


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Old 01-14-2014, 05:30 PM   #866
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What a beautiful bag!! Your Dad looks very happy in the picture. The apartment looks great!! I'm sorry that you had such a tough time last weekend. I hope things will get easier for you!!
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Old 01-14-2014, 07:07 PM   #867
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I love the classic look to your newest bag! You can't ever go wrong with Mickey!

I love the interior fabric! Its so different than anything I've seen.
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Old 01-14-2014, 07:53 PM   #868
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Hi! Just came over from another trip report and I'm hooked!

You have a beautiful family with two lovely girls. Its nice to see young ones interested in crafts.

Your bags are fantastic. The colors and patterns are wonderful. Have you ever done a Goofy one?

Your dad looks happy in his new place, he has such a great smile. I have the same feelings about nursing homes, they for the most part are just smelly, and sad. Mom had to have a short stay in one for rehab from knee surgery. The staff was happy to see me leave, I tend to be a little over protective and have a big mouth when I think she might be mistreated. At the time I lived in Louisiana and she is in Indiana. Thankfully she is a social butterfly and made friends with the staff and headed home quickly.

Just throwing it out there.... if you happen to get bored when you come to Orlando (we moved here in April) you can stop by and use my machine! I have a new Brother sewing/embroidery machine with lots of unfinished projects!

Looking forward to what is next to come!
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Old 01-15-2014, 06:53 AM   #869
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicago Mo View Post

your doing what you can now and the NOW is what matters. He knows you love him. Love is what means the most.
As for the rest.. You can only do so much. you have you home with your children which comes FIRST. You have taken care of your dad as best as you could. No one is going to fault you. You are a great daughter he knows that!!

What you see in yourself is different from what your dad and everyone sees. stop blaming yourself for things you cannot manage. NO ONE sees you that way but yourself. And well... YOUR WRONG about yourself..

Love and hugs!!!
I know, I know... I keep telling myself that. And slowly, I am believing it. Especially as I am still getting countless calls about getting all of his services set up, I know that I am his biggest advocate - and he needs one. And as long as I am "there" every step of the way - they know that he is not a "forgotten" person. I hope. As this WAS an issue earlier in the year - he was screened for these exact services then (I didn't know about it) - and the home health nurse talked him out of them (insert a few choice words here) - I am not sure of her reasons, but I assume she was trying to save tax payer $$ and didn't think that anyone was watching over my Dad. I gave her a piece of my mind at the hospital when my Dad & I had a meeting with her (also, my brother's social worker stepped in and told her that our family is not to be messed with - since we are a unique family situation) - and she has been the nicest lady since then - trying to get as many services as my Dad needs. So, I think it makes the biggest difference that these people know my Dad has someone backing his corner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pluto0809 View Post
Just wanted to post really quickly to say that you have been in my thoughts all weekend. I haven't had much DIS time the last few days but I was reading along on my phone. I am so thankful that you got your Dad mostly settled!
Thank you Ariana! I really appreciate it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by disneychic2 View Post
Oh D~, you're post really made me sad for you. I'm sure by now you've realized that you are definitely NOT a bad daughter by anyones' standards. You are so caring about people you have never even met, so that's not someone who would knowingly fail to help their own family when needed. Sometimes as they age, parents don't want their family members to know how they're feeling or become (in their own mind) a burden to them. So, part of that was probably your Dad not willing to indicate in any way how he was feeling or getting along.
Thank you Lois... I am not sure I will ever forgive myself for not seeing what was going on, but I am trying my best to make up for it. I know my Dad doesn't blame me, and never has. I think you are right on for his line of thinking - he didn't want to burden me. But at the end there - I think he was having some SERIOUS health issues due to his (later) diagnosis, and he was very scared. I am so sad that he was so scared and tried to hide it from all of us... But then I look at him now - and HOW FAR he has come this last month, and it makes me so happy to know that he is happy again.

Quote:
Originally Posted by disneychic2 View Post
Now, though, you've got him in a wonderful situation and it sounds like he's already making new friends. What a wonderful final outcome to something that took you so by surprise just a short time ago. You've gotten soooo much accomplished in such a short amount of time. Kudos to you and Josh! And bless your heart!
Yes, according to all of the reports, he is doing fantastic! Which makes me so happy. One of the nurses called me yesterday, and told me that she was going to talk to him during his lunch meal - but he was chatting and laughing with one of his table mates, she decided not to disturb him. This makes my heart so happy - as this is one of the many reasons we chose this place... Over the last several years, my Dad had become very isolated... We wanted to give him a "community", so he could forge some friendships - and hopefully not be so lonely. I love hearing that he is putting himself "out there" and making friends. This will be so good for him and his self image.

Quote:
Originally Posted by disneychic2 View Post
I can't wait for you to get back to your planning so I can live vicariously again. I have a feeling Josh will come around. I think he knows as long as he lets his girls go, he won't have to. Hopefully one day he will want to accompany you to the happiest place on earth again. Maybe you should wait until he's asleep and begin whispering "Disney World is the best place to vacation" in his ear. Do this every chance you get and by the time the girls are away at college, HE'LL be asking YOU to go! Is that so wrong???
Hahaha.... I would love that! I doubt it will happen, but a girl can dream, right? You have a trip that is fast approaching too... I cannot wait to hear all about yours!

Quote:
Originally Posted by disneychic2 View Post
ETA: Loved the pics and the towel you made your Dad looked great hanging there!
Thank you! I wasn't sure I would get them done, but so happy I did.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pluto0809 View Post
Yes I have been stalking your thread all day just to see this bag!

I absolutely adore it! I cannot wait to give it to my Cousin for her wedding present. Of course I'm going to have to give it up first. Just kidding!

I will definitely get some pictures of the two of us with our bags when we are in Disney next month!
Sorry it took me so long to post... I sure hope she loves it! I am very glad you like it though - I was pretty sure you would. And YES - I would LOVE a photo of both of you with your bags... You should loan one of your extras to your Mom, so the 3 of you can have a photo with one... That would be SUPER COOL.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ladylyons View Post
Your dad's new place is looking great!! Glad it's the perfect size for him.

Happy your back home and hopefully getting back to normal (well as normal as you can). Great new bag!! Love the inside print!
Thank you Sandra! Yes, it feels great to truly be back to work again. I am so much less stressed now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KatMark View Post
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Mickey bag, D. Awesome job.
Thank you Kathy! I am very happy with it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisMom1981 View Post
Love the Mnsshp picture and really really love the Mickey bag! Your dad's new place looks very cozy!

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards
Thanks Ann... Yah - I was super happy to find that picture, I had forgotten all about it. And I am very happy with how his apartment turned out, we still need to hang his pictures, but I think he really likes it - or I hope so, anyways.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NiniMorris View Post
LOL... I have that same sofa in my husband's basement office!


Nini
Hahaha... That's too funny!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkercc View Post
What a beautiful bag!! Your Dad looks very happy in the picture. The apartment looks great!! I'm sorry that you had such a tough time last weekend. I hope things will get easier for you!!
Thanks! I am just so happy to see him so happy - there is no better gift to me! I am just happy that the hardest part is over. We will have a lot to do with emptying his garage - but thankfully it was empty to start with, so everything in there is stuff we put there, and it's organized. It shouldn't take us too long to take care of it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iamthequeen View Post
I love the classic look to your newest bag! You can't ever go wrong with Mickey!

I love the interior fabric! Its so different than anything I've seen.
Thanks Tess... I love that fabric too... It's definately different - I have not seen it before or since.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nolacindy View Post
Hi! Just came over from another trip report and I'm hooked!
Welcome! Very happy to have you here!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nolacindy View Post
You have a beautiful family with two lovely girls. Its nice to see young ones interested in crafts.
Thank you! I am very lucky to have such great kids!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nolacindy View Post
Your bags are fantastic. The colors and patterns are wonderful. Have you ever done a Goofy one?
Thank you! Yes, I have done two Goofy bags... The first one was a messenger for my youngest dd - this was one of my very first bags:


And then, this was an auction bag I did last year (or maybe it was the year before now - I can't remember...)


Quote:
Originally Posted by nolacindy View Post
Your dad looks happy in his new place, he has such a great smile. I have the same feelings about nursing homes, they for the most part are just smelly, and sad. Mom had to have a short stay in one for rehab from knee surgery. The staff was happy to see me leave, I tend to be a little over protective and have a big mouth when I think she might be mistreated. At the time I lived in Louisiana and she is in Indiana. Thankfully she is a social butterfly and made friends with the staff and headed home quickly.
Thank you... I agree completely - that is one thing I loved about the nursing home my Dad was in - it was not smelly or sad at all - it was very homey and smelled very good.

LOL - I was ready to be the same way about my Dad's care, but thankfully, I didn't have to be. Many of the nurses and staff were very sad to see my Dad go... I am sure he will be down at the nursing home to give them crap as often as he can. Since the buildings are connected - it's very easy for him to do.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nolacindy View Post
Just throwing it out there.... if you happen to get bored when you come to Orlando (we moved here in April) you can stop by and use my machine! I have a new Brother sewing/embroidery machine with lots of unfinished projects!

Looking forward to what is next to come!
Hahaha... If I am bored in Orlando... Hehehe... I am not sure that will ever happen. But you are certainly welcome to meet me in the parks for a Dismeet some day.

And LOL about the unfinished projects... I try super hard not to ever leave anything unfinished - which isn't an easy thing to do... Sometimes I get so excited about the next project - I cannot move forward with a current project until I get it off my mind. I think it has something to do with my creative process? I am odd - I know.

************************************************** ********

Yesterday was just a fantastic day for me. After weeks of worry, I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. It's about time - as you can tell, I don't do well with stress. It was such an emotional rollercoaster for me, and I am really ready to be done with that part of it.

As I wrote above, I didn't get a chance to talk to my Dad yesterday (even though I tried to call him) - but I did talk to one of the nurses, and he is doing fantastic! I love that they are always updating me about how he is doing.

I was also able to get back to my heavy lifting... I had a good lift yesterday, and it felt good to be back at it.

I was also back to my good eating habits. Not that my eating habits have been bad, I just wasn't eating enough over the weekend, and I could feel it. I am really starting to see some great changes in my body now that my eating is where it needs to be. I am very thankful for that - since I have been working so hard and not seeing progress for so long now.

I made some AWESOME progess in my sewing room yesterday too - I could not be happier with that. Not only was I able to get my next custom order cut out and quilted, but I was able to get the HUGE applique cut out and I was able to start the stitching! With any luck - I will finish this applique today - that is my goal.

I will still be 1 day behind, which will put me 1 day behind for the remainder of this block of orders, but there isn't much I can do about it. I know you are probably thinking that 1 day behind isn't a huge deal, but to me, it's a very huge deal. I take my schedule so seriously - I treat it like a contract between my customers and I - they depend on me to have their bags on time for their trips. So, it's just super important to me that I keep my schedule accurate.

************************************************** ********

Our ADRs are due next month... and I think we are ready to go with them. I hope to look over our tentative schedule over my lunch break today, just to make sure the crowd predictions are still accurate.

I have not touched my Mini-planner yet... I did start it a little bit quite a few months back, but the crowd predictions were jumping all over the place, so I just let it be for a while.

I am a bit nervous that we don't have any days off planned. I'd really like to - if possible, stay an extra day so we can have a day of rest in the middle. I am not sure about this, as it would cut into Brian, Myrthe and Thomas' time with us. As it is, they fly in the day before we come home. I feel fairly safe in saying that they probably won't have the energy to have visitors that first full day - as they will be recovering from a 12 hour flight with a toddler... So, I am OK coming home that day... but to stay one more day, just so we can have a day of rest in there - I am not so sure about that? I keep telling myself that it's August - and it's HOT - we will NEED a day off... We will see. We are still booked for the longest vacation we can get - so we can cut it off at any point until the 45 day mark, so we will continue to mull it over and see what we want to do.

What would you do? So, let's just say, B/M/T fly in on a Monday. Right now, the girls and I are planning to fly home on Tuesday. So, we really aren't missing any time with them, since they will be resting on Tuesday (I assume) from their flight. I'd really like to fly home on Wednesday - that would give us a day of "rest" on our trip. Now, when we fly home, it will be a morning/early afternoon flight... Theoretically - the girls and I will be tired from traveling, but I KNOW they would want to see Thomas... So, I am sure they wouldn't be opposed to flying home that morning, taking a break at home to clean up, then meet B/M/T for dinner somewhere... We've traveled before, so it's not as if it's a new experience for us. Or should we just not take that day off and power through? B/M/T are only here for 3 weeks... 2 of which, the girls will be in school... So, I just HATE to miss any time with them that first week they are here.

Sorry for the lengthly post today... Lots of things swirling around the back of my mind on the Disney planning front.

Thanks for sticking with me as I went through all of this transition with my Dad, I know it meant I was not 100% on Disney topics, and my sincere apologies.

Many hugs and prayers for all who need them.

D~
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Old 01-15-2014, 07:16 AM   #870
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Morning! Thanks again for making the wonderful Mickey bag for my cousin! I can't wait to give it to her in a few weeks! She has been wanting one of your bags for a while but I told her unless she won an auction there would be no way she could get one for our trip. Hopefully it will be a really nice surprise for her!

I'm not sure if I missed something above but is there a reason you can't add a day at the beginning of the trip instead of at the end?
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