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Old 10-13-2013, 08:38 AM   #1
SeaNana
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Bad Behavior

What do you think should be the limit for bad behavior before the staff stops it? We saw some potentially harmful behavior by children, with the parents looking on, and a crew member keeping an eye on them, but nothing was said. This was also the case with children running around, bumping into people,and nothing was said to them. We were actually afraid to say anything to the parents, who obviously didn't care. What do you think we should have done?
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Old 10-13-2013, 08:39 AM   #2
lauti
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Nothing, it's a mind your business situation unless someone is going to get hurt. Some parents just don't care and a stranger saying something will just make them mad, not make them discipline their kids.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:10 AM   #3
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Handle it as you would in any other public place/situation... what do you do about reckless kids on heeley's in the mall? or when my 5yo steals the grocery cart from me and goes barreling down an aisle while i'm picking out tomatoes? at a playground? in Disney World?

If it is your nature to speak up (and incur the potential backlash, if any, although I will note, ime, most parents do not react harshly to a stranger stepping in if someone is in danger at the hands or feet of their child), then do so... if it's not, then don't... if you or your child are being harmed/hurt/injured, then by all means, speak up!
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:16 AM   #4
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Nothing if there parents are there. I'd step in really early if they weren't or if I didn't see them.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:31 AM   #5
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It takes a village! It's too late when something bad happens and someone gets hurt. All the 'mind your own business' folks would be super quick to question why you said nothing and let it all happen!
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:35 AM   #6
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It's a shame parents do nothing and let kids run amok...it's not the kids fault, some parents really need to grow a brain.
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Old 10-13-2013, 09:36 AM   #7
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If my children or others I am responsible for are the ones being bothered or potentially in danger as a result of the actions of others, I will say something to the children when their parents are obviously ignoring them. I have moved my kids when they were in the Mickey pool and being harassed by others. When they followed us, I told them that we moved to get away from them and I want them to stay away now or I would alert the CM. That usually did the trick.
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Old 10-13-2013, 10:03 AM   #8
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I think for the first time, I spoke up and said something to a teenager on my last cruise in September. It might just be my experience but I think the stairs brings out the "worst" in kids! Seriously though - this is where I notice the running to the point they almost knock people over, they jump in front of people, the screaming, etc. I worry about the elderly who are sometimes gingerly trying to go down or up stairs, the toddlers who need a little help, etc.

On this last sailing, one of my friends was in a boot but she didn't mind taking the stairs down when we could or the elevators were simply too busy but she just needed a little more time. This teenage boy (so old enough to know "better") came barreling up the stairs and about knocked us all over so I politely told him, "you need to slow down so you don't hurt someone as my friend has a boot on her foot - very obvious - and you about knocked us over." He was zipping in and out of the people coming down the stairs and just had no regard. He did stop and look and her and said he was sorry. I felt it was genuine since he took the time to turn around and observe everything and it sounded sincere. I didn't see any parents with him and I still would have said it, if I had seen them because it was that close to knocking her/us down.

My personal opinion is it's okay to say something - as long as you say it in a "nice way". I know it's hard, but I try to keep my cool but I also find I rarely say something. 9 out of 10 times the parents are nowhere to be found.

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Old 10-13-2013, 10:34 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hmurray2008 View Post
It takes a village! It's too late when something bad happens and someone gets hurt. All the 'mind your own business' folks would be super quick to question why you said nothing and let it all happen!
I totally agree!
So many factors are in play with the behavior on the ship! More sugar than normal, uncontrollable excitement, and tons of other kids for example! The kids may be entirely different at home and the parents are relying on the normal behavior, not the uber excited mode!
I would not have a problem whatsoever if a fellow cruiser asked nicely for my son to slow down, or remind him of his indoor voice!! I would do the same to other kids!! It's all good
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Old 10-13-2013, 10:42 AM   #10
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I speak up. I'll tell the kid to learn some respect and tell them where they're wrong. I'm so tired of kids not learning proper respect and customs/courtesies.

And if the parent says something to me, I'll tell them to! Lol Maybe it's the military in me but people need to learn common courtesy. And I'm not talking about all out respect and saying 'Sir/Ma'am" or anything like that. But common courtesies like not shoving in front of or by people without saying excuse me, not stepping aside when you see a mother and her baby CLEARLY having a hard time navigating a crowd/elevator or where ever. COMMON courtesy that all people should learn.

I have no problem putting people and children (depending on age) in their proper place. If it's a younger child I may politely tell them that they should say excuse me. But after the age of 7 or 8, I'll very bluntly tell them they should know better.
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Old 10-13-2013, 11:06 AM   #11
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On our last cruise there were three unsupervised kids running around and being really noise on the stage area next to the splash pool on deck twelve on the Fantasy. I finally got annoyed enough and spoke to them, they quieted down and stopped being rowdy. Usually I don't say anything.
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Old 10-13-2013, 12:39 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaNana View Post
What do you think should be the limit for bad behavior before the staff stops it? We saw some potentially harmful behavior by children, with the parents looking on, and a crew member keeping an eye on them, but nothing was said. This was also the case with children running around, bumping into people,and nothing was said to them. We were actually afraid to say anything to the parents, who obviously didn't care. What do you think we should have done?
Man, is that a tough question! With all kinds of possible answers.

I would say that it is very hard for a crew member to say or do anything, especially if the parents are there. If a CM suggests better behavior, even in the nicest way, eventually a parent will complain. A couple of complaints about a CM will result in that CM being fired. Frankly, from a personal preservation point of view, it is in the average CM's interest to allow a child to hurt themselves rather than discipline. A high ranking crew member can get away with it, but not anyone else. I realize that this is a tough thing to say, and I realize that in an ideal world, parents would be accepting of another person stepping in to remind children of the ship's rules, but many parents do not accept that.

As far as my wife and I, we have a variety of responses:

1. Do nothing. Not my children, not my ship, not my responsibility. This is a particularly difficult response for me to take. I like for people to follow the rules. It is hard for me to remember that I am not a police officer.

a. Corollary: if my children might get hurt, I will remove myself and my children from the area if I am choosing option number 1.

2. Mention something to the parents in a nice way. "Kids are so rambunctious at times, aren't they?" Sadly, many parents won't pick up on the hint, and those that do will probably get angry with you.

3. Discipline your own child, loudly and firmly enough that the other parents hear you. Your child has to be old enough to understand what is going on, and you have to review this with your child beforehand. If you can pull this off without upsetting your kid, you can say "Stop doing [insert behavior]. You know that is against the ship rules." Perhaps the other parents or kids will follow your lead.

4. If the other children's parents aren't around, you could try the option I have seen my wife use in the Buena Vista Theatre: sternly say, "Gentlemen/ladies, would your parents approve of the way you are behaving?" She did this once and the kids instantly settled down. Ironically, they were in the theatre with their parents the next day; they were again acting just as poorly, and their parents did not seem to mind at all! They did nothing!

5. Position yourself to save a child. While on the Wonder, a two year old was playing on the side "ramp" (the little slope under the railing) next to the stairs. Holding on to the railing, swinging around, trying to go up and down the slope. Her parents helped her for a minute, then put her on the steps and started talking with their friends. She returned to the ramp. I felt she was in danger, so I walked down below her in case she fell. When she left the ramp, I returned to our elevator, which had just arrived. The best part: my wife informed me on the elevator that the parents had shot me very dirty looks. They were clearly upset with me! However, I felt good that I had been in a position to help, and I had not created a confrontation. I upset the parents, but I was willing to do that, and be known as some sort of "meanie bo beanie" by them, in order to help a 2 year old not be injured by her parents' lack of parenting.

I think most of the time, I am trying to choose option one: not my responsibility. Far too many parents will be upset if someone else parents their child. In all fairness, my first reaction to someone parenting my child, especially if I am around, is "what makes you think you should parent my child? You don't know their abilities. You don't know them at all." So I understand that parents will step up to defend their child and their parenting style. It is only natural to do that. So, by and large, it is probably best to not hold others to my standard, whether mine is tougher or looser than the other person's.

How is that for a long-winded answer! Anyone want to discuss politics and religion?
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:06 PM   #13
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I will tell you this, my kids act up or out of line, no one will need to tell them because I will be the 1st!!! I taught my kids manners and they will use them. I taught them how to act and you better believe that they better act like the they are suppose too.


ok... vent over.
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Old 10-13-2013, 01:57 PM   #14
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We saw lots of wild behavior this past week on the Wonder. Boys came barreling into the elevator before we could get out. While leaving the Walt Disney Theater after a show, a boy about 9yo kept trying to pass by as we were going up the steps to exit. He kept trying to dart in front of me -- he'd dart in, I'd move a bit so he couldn't, he'd try it again, finally I just looked at him and said "WHERE are you trying to go???" And, finally, while sitting on the edge of the Goofy pool, I saw countless kids jumping into the pool, some right next to me. It is not at all safe and that is why it clearly states NO JUMPING. I finally asked one kid "take a look over there, what do those words read?" He read it and then apologized and didn't jump again. But, it must be very hard when kids see everyone else doing it and then there's me, Mrs. Mean Mom, pointing it out to one or two.

I have raised our kids to know right from wrong, but I came upon my tween and some friends acting in a manner that I didn't approve of, and called her out on it right then. I was disappointed in her actions. I would have had absolutely no problem with any adult on our ship calling her on it the way I did.

I think the bottom line is some kids will push the envelope when their parents aren't right there watching. And, it's obvious from many posts, some kids will push the envelope when their parents are watching them also.
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Old 10-13-2013, 02:21 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hmurray2008
It takes a village! It's too late when something bad happens and someone gets hurt. All the 'mind your own business' folks would be super quick to question why you said nothing and let it all happen!
I always say "it takes a village and sometimes I'm the village." I don't have kids but those kids will rule the world some day and I want a calm world. Hmmm sound like my grandparents
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