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Old 09-05-2013, 04:23 PM   #151
Gracefulskinny
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Originally Posted by maxiesmom View Post
Really??? When is it ok to have a kid pee in the pool? And when is it ok for a parent to encourage such behavior?
A few examples:

1} a kid that's potty training with a swim diaper on under his swim suit

2} a kid with development issues and a parent that recognizes that you can't do anything about it now so its a non issue

3} A kid from a confused and rough background that is dealing with psychological issues and a parent that is picking and choosing their battles

4} A parent that fought a battle to get the kid to go the bathroom before they went to the pool only to have the kid go as soon as they hit the water.

5} A child that has a fixation issue. Calling attention to the behavior would only just keep the more interruptive (the loud announcing) behavior going


The above examples wouldn't necessarily be noticeable to the every day stranger.

I should also state that a parent laughing something off is not a parent that encourages that behavior. Sometimes its just a resignation for what has occured.

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I believe that kids should be held responsible for their actions - by their parents, loved ones or recognized authority figures.

Not by total strangers at a theme park pool.

This! Absoultely 100% yes!


By the way... It is my understanding that there are posted signs saying that the hot tubs are for adults only. It would have be much less confrontational to just direct them to one of those said signs. After all there is a reason for such a rule.

(The key differences here are that there is a posted sign against the action and said rule is for the child's own safety. )
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:25 PM   #152
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Fair enough - then if I'm in line behind them and they're whining and crying over a lost lovey, and it's disturbing me and my family, but you're doing nothing to correct the behavior, you would have no problem with me telling them to suck it and quit crying, right?
Fortunately that wouldn't happen to me because if my child was crying and disturbing others I would a) already be comforting them and b)going back to the resort to find it or buy another - and that actually DID HAPPEN on our last trip. Lost pacifier = immediate trip to the babycarecenter.

That's the difference between me and the parent in the OP - I'd already be actively PARENTING, with no need for help.

And I don't buy that laughing it off is just "resignation". It would take nothing for the father to have said something simple like, "we don't do that in the pool, son," and none of your examples are reason for him not to have done so.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:33 PM   #153
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Fortunately that wouldn't happen to me because if my child was crying and disturbing others I would a) already be comforting them and b)going back to the resort to find it or buy another - and that actually DID HAPPEN on our last trip. Lost pacifier = immediate trip to the babycarecenter.

That's the difference between me and the parent in the OP - I'd already be actively PARENTING, with no need for help.

And I don't buy that laughing it off is just "resignation". It would take nothing for the father to have said something simple like, "we don't do that in the pool, son," and none of your examples are reason for him not to have done so.
Again, fair enough - so a total stranger tells your child to suck it up and quit whining over a stuffed animal, and you wouldn't say a word?
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:36 PM   #154
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Again, fair enough - so a total stranger tells your child to suck it up and quit whining over a stuffed animal, and you wouldn't say a word?
If I was already dealing with the situation, then yes I would say something. Something to the effect of, "I'm already dealing with it, thank you, and please don't use foul language in front of my child."

The difference is that the father in this case DIDN'T DEAL WITH IT. I'm not sure how much clearer that can be made! And the OP DIDN'T discipline or otherwise chastise the child. She stated the facts: you peed in the other pool, don't pee in this pool, it's not allowed. Period.

I'd like to turn it around and ask, if a child was actively teasing, laughing at and bothering your child and the parent was either not there or doing nothing, would you stand by and say nothing? Make YOUR well-behaved child leave?
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:37 PM   #155
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and none of your examples are reason for him not to have done so.
I'm so glad your such a perfect parent that you feel you can condescend and judge others.

Would I have done differently in that situation.... I'd like to think I would. But, if it had been a long day of traveling everybody was worn out and tension had been high and I was in a new time zone and my kids were wired, who knows how I would have reacted.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:40 PM   #156
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I'm so glad your such a perfect parent that you feel you can condescend and judge others.
Exactly! Given the details that AndreaA has offered up, I would vehemently disagree with her self-assessment as a perfect parent, but to each her own!
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:42 PM   #157
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Exactly! Given the details that AndreaA has offered up, I would vehemently disagree with her self-assessment as a perfect parent, but to each her own!
And since I flat out denied being a perfect parent (as with the admission that my children DO sometimes act up) your disagreement is sort of a moot point.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:45 PM   #158
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If I was already dealing with the situation, then yes I would say something. Something to the effect of, "I'm already dealing with it, thank you, and please don't use foul language in front of my child."
What foul language? "Suck it up"? "Quit whining"?

Bottom line, you would respond because YOU don't want anyone else to correct your child, yet you feel that you have the right to correct other people's children if you don't like their behavior.


Quote:
I'd like to turn it around and ask, if a child was actively teasing, laughing at and bothering your child and the parent was either not there or doing nothing, would you stand by and say nothing? Make YOUR well-behaved child leave?
I would say something to the parent, not the child. If the parent did nothing, then I would remove my child from the situation.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:51 PM   #159
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Originally Posted by Gracefulskinny View Post
A few examples:

1} a kid that's potty training with a swim diaper on under his swim suit

2} a kid with development issues and a parent that recognizes that you can't do anything about it now so its a non issue

3} A kid from a confused and rough background that is dealing with psychological issues and a parent that is picking and choosing their battles

4} A parent that fought a battle to get the kid to go the bathroom before they went to the pool only to have the kid go as soon as they hit the water.

5} A child that has a fixation issue. Calling attention to the behavior would only just keep the more interruptive (the loud announcing) behavior going


The above examples wouldn't necessarily be noticeable to the every day stranger.

Sorry but none of those things make it ok for a kid to pee in the pool. Understandable when accidents happen maybe. But that is not what happened here. And if someone had a child with any of the above issues I would wager they would be more attentive to that child around the pool. And not laugh about it.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:51 PM   #160
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What foul language? "Suck it up"? "Quit whining"?

Bottom line, you would respond because YOU don't want anyone else to correct your child, yet you feel that you have the right to correct other people's children if you don't like their behavior.
I feel I have the right if the parent is NOT THERE and NOT RESPONDING. That is the big difference. If my child was not behaving and I wasn't there or was ignoring it, then I have no problem with someone else stepping in. If I disagree with the correction, then I'll say something. No contradiction there. If the grandfather in the OP wanted to tell the OP that he thought it was fine if his kid peed in the pool, then that's his right as well. Fact is, the grandfather realized it was unacceptable and apologized.

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I would say something to the parent, not the child. If the parent did nothing, then I would remove my child from the situation.
Well then we will have to agree to disagree. I would not allow my child to be bullied and would tell the other child to stop. My child should not be deprived of fun by a child who is misbehaving.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:56 PM   #161
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Well then we will have to agree to disagree. I would not allow my child to be bullied and would tell the other child to stop. My child should not be deprived of fun by a child who is misbehaving.
Yet it would be fine for my child to be deprived of fun because he has to listen to your child cry and whine about a stuffed animal, and I shouldn't say anything about it.

And I wouldn't say anything about it, because your child's behavior is your problem, not mine. I just don't care for the hypocrisy. YMMV.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:57 PM   #162
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My children are young adults now but if a stranger had to say something to them about their behavior I wouldn't have been angry or indignant - I would have been mortified that it was necessary. My children were not angels - far from it - but if they misbehaved they got dragged out of wherever we were and we did not go back until they could handle the situation.

I did not tolerate bratty behavior in public from my children and I won't tolerate it from anyone else's. I don't have to raise my voice but I will say something to anyone if they are being rude or impolite and imposing on me or my family.

I had to stop teaching Sunday school when the percentage of kids with absolutely no manners whatsoever became significantly greater than the children who did. Anyone who is paying attention can see that there is something very wrong with the way that many children are being parented today.
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Old 09-05-2013, 05:01 PM   #163
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My children are young adults now but if a stranger had to say something to them about their behavior I wouldn't have been angry or indignant - I would have been mortified that it was necessary. My children were not angels - far from it - but if they misbehaved they got dragged out of wherever we were and we did not go back until they could handle the situation.

I did not tolerate bratty behavior in public from my children and I won't tolerate it from anyone else's. I don't have to raise my voice but I will say something to anyone if they are being rude or impolite and imposing on me or my family.

I had to stop teaching Sunday school when the percentage of kids with absolutely no manners whatsoever became significantly greater than the children who did. Anyone who is paying attention can see that there is something very wrong with the way that many children are being parented today.
Yeah, it's a real shame...I have two great kids, one in college and one in high school that are well behaved, well mannered and considerate of others.

And my DH and I were able to raise them that way without any help from strangers in theme parks or restaurants - must be a miracle!

Maybe we did such a good job because we spent time attending to the behavior of our own children instead of everyone else's children.
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Old 09-05-2013, 05:05 PM   #164
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If you don't parent your children, then you can't be surprised when someone else does.
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Old 09-05-2013, 05:06 PM   #165
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If you don't parent your children, then can't be surprised when someone else does.
And who gets to be the arbiter of when a parent is correctly parenting the child? The grumpy stranger at the pool? The grumpy stranger in line at the theme park?

There were people on this thread calling the parents clueless and bad parents because the kids were up and swimming at 10:15 PM. Do those people have a right to tell the parents to get the kids to bed? Of course not.

In the example I've used about the kids that cry and whine over lost or misplaced loveys, I find that kind of behavior to be atrocious, but the parents see nothing wrong with it - do I get to tell the kids to suck it up and keep whining because I think it's ridiculous behavior? Of course not.

The child should not have peeing in the pool, no question. But it should have been taken up with the parent, not with the child. If I had been in that situation, and I were bothered by it as much as the OP was, I would have gone to the father and told him that I didn't think it was appropriate for the child to be peeing in the pool, as it really isn't acceptable behavior. And that would have been it. I certainly wouldn't have made a loud point out of bringing attention to the child in an effort to embarrass him, as the OP did.

But, to each his own. I wouldn't be on a message board, bragging about bringing a five year old to tears, but that's just me.

Last edited by OurBigTrip; 09-05-2013 at 05:12 PM.
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