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Old 09-05-2013, 03:44 PM   #136
meredith1
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My qualifier (lol)-I have my masters degree in education, have 12+ yrs experience in teaching and waited late in life to have children.

I like to think that I know how to parent my children, I do my best to make sure that they are polite and don't disturb others. However, I'm sure there are times that I have overlooked a behavior that I'm used to and it takes someone else back.

If a stranger approached my child and said anything unkind I would probably lose my marbles. With that said, I have given my "teacher look" to children and they have gone running. lol-

As far as it takes a village-yes, teachers, parents and the people who are helping the children to grow and mature should share responsibility but, a stranger-no stinking way. You better not do it to my kids. I won't deal with you, the security that I call will.

ETA-You guys need to remember that you have no idea what kind of child you may be dealing with-I really hope this is just some big talk about how you would do this and that to a child that you don't even know....
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Old 09-05-2013, 03:48 PM   #137
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Originally Posted by meredith1 View Post

As far as it takes a village-yes, teachers, parents and the people who are helping the children to grow and mature should responsibility but, a stranger-no stinking way. You better not do it to my kids. I won't deal with you, the security that I call will.



You really think security would side with you and your misbehaving child over the patron who was disturbed by him/her and had the "audacity" to actually say something about it? The OP wasn't "unkind", she simply plainly stated that she didn't want a child who had urinated in the pool to go into the hot tub and do the same thing.

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Old 09-05-2013, 03:50 PM   #138
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Originally Posted by Gracefulskinny View Post
While such behavior is generally frowned upon and from what you have said it sounds as if the children may have needed some discipline, I strongly feel that you were beyond inappropriate to take it in to your hands to discipline someone else child!


There are many problems with what you did.

1} You should have approached the father quietly and politely if it indeed disturbs you that much. It's up to them to do the correcting.

2} You put your own assumptions and judgments on a situation that you don't have an ability to see the whole picture on. You ASSUMED the kid was about 5. I know a lot of kids that are tall for their age and are advanced in some of their development. This causes others to assume the kid is older then they are. It is very possible that the kid was younger then 5 and was in the process of potty training. You never know.



I know this as a parent, if you had done that to MY DAUGHTER words would have been exchanged once my daughter was removed from the situation. I might have even just gone to management and let them deal with you.


Unless the situation is of life and death importance where even a second could mean the difference between tragedy and being alright you should always take it to the parents and not speak to the child.
I guess I fail to see how the OP "disciplined" the child. OP stated a fact: I heard you say you peed in the pool. Then said: There is no peeing in this pool. It is not allowed.

The child wasn't even scolded...OP did not say, "You are disgusting and a bad child." Nothing along the lines of that. OP did not say, "You need to be punished for what your did." Heck...OP did not even say, "You cannot come in here." All OP did was state a fact. If stating FACTS is now considered a form of "discipline" then I find that incredibly concerning. If kids can not handle hearing someone else say what they did...then they are in for a rough life.
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Old 09-05-2013, 03:53 PM   #139
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You really think security would side with you and your misbehaving child over the patron who was disturbed by you and had the "audacity" to actually say something about it? The OP wasn't "unkind", she simply plainly stated that she didn't want a child who had urinated in the pool to go into the hot tub and do the same thing.

If a stranger said something to my child that was inappropriate, yes, I would place a phone call to deal with the situation so that, I didn't escalate the issue. I'm not sure I know anyone who wouldn't.

....and I wouldn't have made issue with the OP-I would have made my kid apologize. I am saying in general with some of the replies that have the attitude that they will "parent your kid, if you don't" attitude.
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Old 09-05-2013, 03:54 PM   #140
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I love this topic, and the varied answers.

I cannot believe how many posters are saying the OP had no right to say anything!

IMO, that kid was crying because he felt ashamed that not only had he peed in the pool, but that GRANDPA knew he'd lied about it. And from the rest of the story, it appears GRANDPA knew that wasn't right, and apologized for the boy. The boy lied, got caught, and cried over it. While you don't want shame and guilt to override your life, it is extremely useful in teaching situations and is probably one of the greatest motivators for learning that we have in our lives as children. How many times did you tell your toddler "not to bite Mommy, that hurts Mommy" when they were in that biting stage? You were trying to guilt them out of the behavior, and eventually (God willing) it worked. "You're not doing your best work when you get a C in math, Junior" - guilt and shame, what a combination. And a WINNING combination.

Here, the child was a little older than the toddler stage, and was engaging in behavior that needed to be corrected. The OP wasn't going to stand for urine in the "little pool" of the hot tub and had already been chased out of one pool, and the kid and his family clearly didn't care. He had every right to correct this boy, and it's sad that he had to - but he DID have to, because respect for others is one of the first lessons that should be learned, and one of the first things that we TRY to teach children. "Don't bite, share, don't pull hair, give that toy back" - but once kids reach an older age, some parents just stop teaching that simple respect. It's ok to send your kids off to school and have nothing to do with them for 7 hours a day - all the while, the teacher is correcting, instructing, and molding your children - but when another adult puts their foot down, it's not allowed?

Kudos, OP. I'd have done the same thing in your situation, and had the parents "freaked out" and went and got management , I would have told them what happened and NOTHING would have happened to me from management. Maybe the kid will think twice about acceptable behavior in the future - or even twice about lying while Grandpa is around, which hurts no one!
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Old 09-05-2013, 03:57 PM   #141
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Originally Posted by meredith1 View Post
If a stranger said something to my child that was inappropriate, yes, I would place a phone call to deal with the situation so that, I didn't escalate the issue. I'm not sure I know anyone who wouldn't.
And you would get no satisfaction with the results because the OP said NOTHING that was inappropriate. We're not talking about someone yelling at a stranger's kid, swearing, threatening or using any derogatory language whatsoever.

If you really don't know anyone who feels appropriately mortified rather than affronted when their child is corrected for behavior that THEY should have corrected, then again, I fear for the state of this entitled, selfish, "me, me, me" society we have become.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:00 PM   #142
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I guess I fail to see how the OP "disciplined" the child. OP stated a fact: I heard you say you peed in the pool. Then said: There is no peeing in this pool. It is not allowed.

The child wasn't even scolded...OP did not say, "You are disgusting and a bad child." Nothing along the lines of that. OP did not say, "You need to be punished for what your did." Heck...OP did not even say, "You cannot come in here." All OP did was state a fact. If stating FACTS is now considered a form of "discipline" then I find that incredibly concerning. If kids can not handle hearing someone else say what they did...then they are in for a rough life.
What the OP stated was corrective and accusatory. (Whether her statement was true or not). It is not alright to make such statements to someone elses child.


Note: If you look through the thread you will notice that those with any kind of experience in raising and dealing with children are all saying the same thing. Maybe you inexperienced folk should wise up.

What that kid did was not equal to the reprimand he received. And again may I remind you as an outsider have no way of knowing what the situation was with that kid and his family. I can think of many examples of why such behavior could be deemed okay.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:02 PM   #143
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I guess I fail to see how the OP "disciplined" the child. OP stated a fact: I heard you say you peed in the pool. Then said: There is no peeing in this pool. It is not allowed.

The child wasn't even scolded...OP did not say, "You are disgusting and a bad child." Nothing along the lines of that. OP did not say, "You need to be punished for what your did." Heck...OP did not even say, "You cannot come in here." All OP did was state a fact. If stating FACTS is now considered a form of "discipline" then I find that incredibly concerning. If kids can not handle hearing someone else say what they did...then they are in for a rough life.
This exactly. Had the OP been nasty or rude to the child that's one thing, however, OP was not. OP had a right to speak up, and I think it's pretty clear that had the OP talked to the parents not much would have come from it based on their reaction to the child's admission.

If the OP had done talked to my children in this situation I would have just been upset at my kids for lacking any sort of manners and furthermore for trying to lie about it when confronted.

Yes, it is a problem that kids are not allowed by some parents to be held responsible for their bad behavior. It only gets worse as they get older....

But, everyone has their different parenting styles. I'm going to stick with mine and make sure my kids are held responsible for their actions, whether they receive negative or positive results for their actions.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:02 PM   #144
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Originally Posted by Gracefulskinny View Post

What that kid did was not equal to the reprimand he received. And again may I remind you as an outsider have no way of knowing what the situation was with that kid and his family. I can think of many examples of why such behavior could be deemed okay.
Really??? When is it ok to have a kid pee in the pool? And when is it ok for a parent to encourage such behavior?
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:02 PM   #145
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Do you really not see the difference between trying to "discipline" a child who has done nothing wrong and is simply upset, and speaking up to a child who has BROKEN A BASIC RULE OF CIVILITY? Really? Good grief. I fear for our entire society.
Your standard, as stated previously, is that you would correct a child who was doing something you found objectionable and that was disturbing your family.

I find it objectionable that a four year old would whine and cry and throw a fit over losing a stuffed animal or a blanket, and it disturbs my family.

Why shouldn't I say something, using the criteria that you laid out?
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:04 PM   #146
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Yes, it is a problem that kids are not allowed by some parents to be held responsible for their bad behavior. It only gets worse as they get older....

But, everyone has their different parenting styles. I'm going to stick with mine and make sure my kids are held responsible for their actions, whether they receive negative or positive results for their actions.
I believe that kids should be held responsible for their actions - by their parents, loved ones or recognized authority figures.

Not by total strangers at a theme park pool.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:08 PM   #147
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Originally Posted by Gracefulskinny View Post
What the OP stated was corrective and accusatory. (Whether her statement was true or not). It is not alright to make such statements to someone elses child.


Note: If you look through the thread you will notice that those with any kind of experience in raising and dealing with children are all saying the same thing. Maybe you inexperienced folk should wise up.

What that kid did was not equal to the reprimand he received. And again may I remind you as an outsider have no way of knowing what the situation was with that kid and his family. I can think of many examples of why such behavior could be deemed okay.
And what, exactly, was the reprimand? When the OP stated the facts? When she told him he couldn't do that near her? I would LOVE to know an example of when peeing in the pool and LAUGHING about it is deemed okay.

Oh, and if you'll see my signature, I've got TWO kids near the age of the kid mentioned in the OP. If either one of them peed in a pool and joyfully shouted about it, you can bet they would be sitting in time out on the side, at the very least, and I would not be laughing.

To OBT, obviously I was speaking of actions which are universally accepted as disturbing: running around a restaurant, poking other people, stealing food off plates, peeing in pools, etc.. all fall into those categories. Crying because one is upset does not. In fact, it usually leads to others trying to comfort the child in acts frequently referred to as "pixie dust" on this board.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:13 PM   #148
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To OBT, obviously I was speaking of actions which are universally accepted as disturbing: running around a restaurant, poking other people, stealing food off plates, peeing in pools, etc.. all fall into those categories. Crying because one is upset does not. In fact, it usually leads to others trying to comfort the child in acts frequently referred to as "pixie dust" on this board.
In other words, behavior that your kids might and probably have engaged in is OK, even if it is objectionable to others and disturbs their families, but behavior that you're sure your kids would NEVER engage in should be corrected by total strangers until the child cries.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:18 PM   #149
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In other words, behavior that your kids might and probably have engaged in is OK, even if it is objectionable to others and disturbs their families, but behavior that you're sure your kids would NEVER engage in should be corrected by total strangers until the child cries.
Not true at all. I've had my boys get overly rambunctious (not running around, but too loud for my tastes - one of them has sensory issues and is sometimes overstimulated) and I absolutely corrected them MYSELF. If I hadn't done so and they'd escalated to actually running around, then I would fully expect someone else to say something to them.
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Old 09-05-2013, 04:21 PM   #150
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Not true at all. I've had my boys get overly rambunctious (not running around, but too loud for my tastes - one of them has sensory issues and is sometimes overstimulated) and I absolutely corrected them MYSELF. If I hadn't done so and they'd escalated to actually running around, then I would fully expect someone else to say something to them.
Fair enough - then if I'm in line behind them and they're whining and crying over a lost lovey, and it's disturbing me and my family, but you're doing nothing to correct the behavior, you would have no problem with me telling them to suck it and quit crying, right?
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