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Old 09-05-2013, 07:50 AM   #76
Chm635
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Saying a prayer for you and your children. I think you have received great advice and hope you enjoy your trip. I love your kids were excited about grapes, with that enthusiasm, I have no doubt you have a great trip in your future and have done a really awesome job as a mom. Hang in there.
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Old 09-05-2013, 07:56 AM   #77
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OP, I hope you and your kids have a fabulous time! I know my son doesn't like TS restaurants at home (slow food, as he calls them) because they eat up precious park time. Most portions are big enough to share, especially that chicken at Cosmic Rays someone else mentioned. An idea for arrival day at POR is to take boat to Downtown Disney, Earl of Sandwich is quick, tasty, inexpensive and shareable. In regards to food, we eat much less at Disney because of the heat and humidity we aren't used to and the excitement/busyness of our surroundings. I think souvenirs are a bigger deal, especially for your kids. I would want them to bring home a reminder of this trip as a beacon of hope that everything is going to work out to a new normal because none of you will ever be the same. I am sorry your family reacted as they did, I just can't imagine how awful that was.

Go on your trip, try to relax and enjoy your kids and respite: you are going to be coming back to face a mess and are going to have to make some tough decisions. Rest up, relax, heal with your kiddos and strengthen your defenses.....unfortunately, you probably haven't seen the last of thug ex or his mommy.

Best of luck to you!
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:17 AM   #78
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In the future, if you come across a thread like this, and for some reason feel compelled to comment, you could say something nice to the OP and then remind people not to give money to strangers on the internet.

Even if you think there's a small chance OP is telling the truth, consider for a moment how you would feel about what you said if you found out it was true. What kind of person would it make you to say what you said to someone who was standing in front of you having been beaten so badly she was missing skin on her face?
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:17 AM   #79
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What a terrible ordeal to go through right before vacation. I'm so sorry all of this happened. You really have two issues you need help with: the incident with your ex-boyfriend and your Disney trip. This is a great place to get help with both, but you really need to get someone on your side with the ex situation. If you don't have a family member that will help you or any friends to speak of then I'd highly suggest calling one of the domestic violence hotlines for other options. You can also visit your local church. I'm not sure which part of the country you live in, but churches here (the south) are more than happy to help anyone in your situation (whether they're a Christian, atheist, agnostic, or whatever--don't let your religion stop you from seeking help). A bigger church would be better than a smaller one, probably, because they have more resources. I would get this situation settled to the point where you'll feel safe when you get home before you do anything else. You'll be worrying your entire trip if you leave the situation open when you go. And be sure you completely sever any communication with your ex. I know there must be a lot of heartbreak over this, too, but you have to make it extremely difficult for him to find you right now.

As far as the Disney trip goes:

I would call to see if you can push everything back a week or two, so you have a little more time to get things in order before you go. If this isn't an option then leave everything as it is, and just do the best you can before you go.

I think the money you have for food will likely be more than enough. I would make a detailed budget of where that money is going to go. Then I'd stick to that budget when you get there. List out the total money you'll have to spend, then itemize all those little things you mentioned in the first post. Maybe even put the money in individual envelopes, and put them in a very safe place, so you know when you've run out for that specific category. I'd budget a set amount for the kids to spend on treats each day--$5-$10 or so. Tell the kids that it's their money at the beginning of the day. They'll usually spend less and be more careful with money if they know that it's "theirs."

Since you have a small appetite, consider sharing meals with one of the kids. I know lots of people have given tips on meals to eat at Disney World, but you're not actually going to DW at all, right? I'm not familiar with Universal, but see if there are places on these boards that serve larger portions of food (like the Flametree BBQ place in AK). You can order two meals here and split to save money. Also, the one night you're at POR you should consider ordering the make your own pasta. It is a ton of food. I'm a small eater, but I seriously could have made about 5 meals out of that one box of food.

Another option is to consider having two big meals, and eating a snack for the third. I always budget for three full meals at Disney, but we never eat all that food. You could eat a big breakfast around 9 or 10 and probably just snack for lunch. Then eat dinner around 5 or 6. Or you could do the opposite plan and just eat several tiny meals throughout the day. Sometimes kids eat better in small amounts when they're excited.

You can stock up on little souvenirs and snacks before you go. The $1 Tree has lots of things like candy and stuff. You can get little pouches that you add to water to flavor it for days in the park.

I really think you'll be fine on money. I am very type A, and I've budgeted our trip like crazy. It's just two adults going on ours, but we're eating one Disney meal and one regular table service meal at a nicer restaurant. We're staying for 8 days, and I'm budgeting a little less than double what you have for the whole trip. You'll be fine on money. Just plan it out, and then take care of securing your stuff while you're gone. Definitely let the police know you'll be on vacation. One year I discovered that our entire street happened to be going on vacation at the same time. I called and told the police department and they immediately offered to send a patrol car around often. I'm sure they'll keep an eye out for you. Try to stay calm, and maybe spend some time watching Disney Cruise videos on Youtube with your kids. It might get you excited about going again!
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:49 AM   #80
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I haven't read through the entire thread but here are my money saving tips....

cups of ice water are free at any place that sells food/snacks...you will need the hydration anyway and it can save you approx. $8/meal.

We often only eat 2 meals a day while at WDW....late breakfast(it's also the cheapest meal you can buy) and then an early dinner with a midday snack if needed.

Stick with CS meals and look for things that you can share....ie the chicken and rib combo. You might need to hang around the food counter for a few minutes before you order to see the portion sizes.

Carry a few snack items with you to fill in for your kids....granola bars or crackers. That way you can fill tummies and still get an ice cream or whatever. You should be able to bring a few of these type of items from home. See what you have that will pack easily in your suitcase.


BTW, last week we were vacationing in Orlando and only went to WDW for one day. My DD is 14 and pencil thin but eats like a horse. We spent $84 on food that day, for the 3 of us....but we had several snacks as well as lunch and dinner including dessert at lunch. At one meal we got a large soda to share but other than that we only had ice water.
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Old 09-05-2013, 08:58 AM   #81
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Can I please be the voice of reason here and tell you not to go? Sure you want to go and the kids want to go, and that is understandable, but you are stressed and miserable. This won't be a good vacation and you'll spend every penny, which you may need in the near future considering the situation. And I'll bet your kids are also stressed. Everyone will enjoy this a lot more a month or even a year from now when all of this is behind you. Worry about making yourself safe and secure for now.
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:03 AM   #82
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Originally Posted by VagueFury View Post
Can I please be the voice of reason here and tell you not to go? Sure you want to go and the kids want to go, and that is understandable, but you are stressed and miserable. This won't be a good vacation and you'll spend every penny, which you may need in the near future considering the situation. And I'll bet your kids are also stressed. Everyone will enjoy this a lot more a month or even a year from now when all of this is behind you. Worry about making yourself safe and secure for now.
Did you read the thread? She can't reschedule, she'll be out the money she's been paying for TWO YEARS.
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:05 AM   #83
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Did you read the thread? She can't reschedule, she'll be out the money she's been paying for TWO YEARS.
Yes, she said that.
Yes, it is a vacation that is beyond her means, but she knows that.
Her mind is made up on whether to go.
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:28 AM   #84
mrsklamc
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Yes, she said that.
Yes, it is a vacation that is beyond her means, but she knows that.
Her mind is made up on whether to go.
I was responding to that specific poster who said she should reschedule in a month or a year. There is no way she can do that.
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Old 09-05-2013, 09:46 AM   #85
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She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:24 AM   #86
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Originally Posted by kymom99 View Post
She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.
I totally agree. Thank you for posting. Stand strong with your kids & have a fab time! Also, I think there will be peace knowing you are totally away & safe. Have fun! Post all about your trip!
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Old 09-05-2013, 10:35 AM   #87
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Originally Posted by kymom99 View Post
She is not living beyond her means. The trip is paid for and she has money set aside for food. The abuser did not live with her. She is not dependent on him. There is no reason she shouldn't show her children that this man did not get the best of her. I think once she is out of town she will feel such relief. She would still be miserable at home and would be out all the money she already spent. It is all paid for. Not going would be worse, IMO.
From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:08 AM   #88
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Originally Posted by Mom2Christina
I am very sorry to hear of the ordeal you have been through. I completely understand that you do not want to disappoint your children and have planned for this trip for so long. BUT, I am going to suggest that you reschedule the trip for so many reasons....first off your physical and emotional health. You need to recover from the bruising. I am not sure how walking miles in the park is going to feel in the condition you are in. I know bruises can hurt for days after. Second, your heart is just not in it now as much as you want it to be, please ask yourself if you will be thinking of what just happened or if you can truly focus on enjoying time spent with your children with things so unresolved back home.

I understand the love of Disney as much as many people on this board, I moved to California partly because I love Disneyland so much. I have also went on a vacation to Disney when I was dealing some painful situations in my life (not the same as what you are going through, but painful, nonetheless) and I honestly think I would have been better postponing my trip. Forgive me if I have missed whether you can reschedule or not...

I did not recall reading anything about your financial situation at this time, other than you could not afford the hotel so you came back home. I am not asking you to divulge this information, but were you getting help from him to pay the rent/bills, if spending the money on the trip is wise at this time.

Just wanting you to consider all of the aspects of going on a trip at this time. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best...don't ever let him back into your life, it becomes a pattern and if you think it was bad this time, next time it could be worse. You and your children deserve better, remember that.
I can't postpone the trip two days out. Ill lose all of my money. He was just my boyfriend and a rather selfish one at that. He didn't help me out financially in any way. I'm going on this trip. I started packing and yes I'm getting a little of my excitement back. He took enough from me. I'm not going to let him take my kids vacation as well. I got a call from safe horizon and the woman I spoke to advised me to go on vacation. She was adamant that I go and we enjoy ourselves. She said we need this more than ever..go and have no regrets so that is what I'm doing .
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:12 AM   #89
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Fine, she can be depressed on "vacation" and be out MORE money. Sorry I have an opinion that doesn't conforms to yours.
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Old 09-05-2013, 11:35 AM   #90
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From a budget board standpoint, the only issue that is implied is that her emergency fund was not large enough for the unseen expenses involved in having your boyfriend beat you and getting yourself safe. I think that is falling under "budgetary misdemeanors" and I wouldn't sweat it. To pay for the trip in full, the only thing that is required is she skips some planned table service, skips souvenirs and avoids up charges on the cruise - big whoop - that's what the trips of 80% of the people here are like....but you can't win around here, if you post that you've saved up enough money to take a trip and keep your emergency fund untouched - even though the washer broke last week you were able to replace that money into your emergency fund without touching your trip funds, you are accused of stealth bragging.
This post cracks me up and is so true

I totally agree it can be done and easily. The kids aren't going to be obsessed with their meals like we grownups are--they are simply a delay in the entertainment (unless they include entertainment). Many hotels have some grocery items in their sundries areas... and you can order groceries from Wegoshop or other services. Ideal if you have a kitchenette with a fridge and microwave. Don't underestimate cheerios & bananas for breakfast! We had no bugetary constraints on our trip and that's what I had every morning anyway. Even if you don't have a fridge you can make an early morning excursion out of getting milk from a shop and eating your cheerios picnic style or by the pool. String cheese is the GREATEST snack--think of snacks the kids want in their lunches (fruit rollups, etc) and maybe order some of those to be delivered. You can have amazon deliver to your hotel for the day of your checkin and they have grocery items available.

We are a family of four and ate just a few meals in the parks on our trip--we ate in the room while relaxing in the A/C a lot. Easy Mac is a delicious inexpensive treat.

Ways to save... #1. Eat your own food/groceries (keep in mind this can be on a fun park bench or a grassy knoll... or your blissfully airconditioned room). #2 Skip drinks and bring snacks.

Look into grocery delivery after you find out if you have a fridge. Your kids won't be as concerned with food as you are with feeding them when they see the parks. Love the pressed penny idea. Or surf the Creative DISigns section for a do-it yourself autograph book for the Characters they love. Many of the parks have free kid make it take it activities/adventures too (like the 'kidcot' stops.
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