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Old 07-28-2013, 11:31 PM   #16
TheLanes
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Originally Posted by neg58 View Post

That's very generous of you! Most people expect to pay the extra costs that would be incurred, like airfare. I'd also expect the friend to pay the cruise fare since it is an extra fare that wouldn't be incurred if the child didn't come. I wouldn't expect the extra child to pay for gas or luggage tips, meals on the way.

My daughter just traveled with a friend and I paid her airfare and they paid the rest, which I thought was more than nice. It didn't cost them any extra for the place they stayed in (St. Maarten) but they did pay a lot for meals and my daughter said they went on Rhinos (probably not much extra to get a 3 person, not a 2 person) and jet skis.

Nancy
It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay. If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
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Old 07-28-2013, 11:37 PM   #17
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We allowed our two daughters to each bring a friend on a seven night cruise on the Dream last year. We invited, we paid, for everything.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:07 AM   #18
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Thanks for the advice, all. We've approached the family with slightly different terms, and now it's just a matter of checking dates and hammering out the fine details.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:17 AM   #19
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Thanks for the advice, all. We've approached the family with slightly different terms, and now it's just a matter of checking dates and hammering out the fine details.
Perfect way to do it! You're a cool parent!
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:20 AM   #20
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It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay. If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
I guess it depends on the people you're friends with. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for my daughter's entire cruise fare even if she were invited. I'd expect a pretty even split and would speak realistically to the other parent about what we can afford or not since they'd be taking her on an "extra" vacation that wasn't a part of our family plan.

I personally wouldn't find it offensive at all if another mom came to me with an even split idea. I would be flattered that their family wanted to take DD on vacation. Whether I'd consent to it is a different matter.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:32 AM   #21
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I guess it depends on the people you're friends with. I wouldn't expect someone to pay for my daughter's entire cruise fare even if she were invited. ...
I agree with this totally
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:16 AM   #22
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It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay.
I think that's true for things like a movie or a trip to Great America or a nearby water park. A full-blown vacation is a whole different animal. I know that for those of us who ask the other family to kick-in toward their child's expensive vacation don't particularly like being told that we are rude or the we don't have good manners. We are just trying to share our family's experience within our own economic constraints.
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If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
Yup! That's the best way to do it if you are not paying for everything .
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:33 AM   #23
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We allowed our two daughters to each bring a friend on a seven night cruise on the Dream last year. We invited, we paid, for everything.
We are cruising for our DDs 18th Birthday in January. She is inviting a friend. We will pay for everything... cruise, airfare, excursions and tips. Her parents have offered to pay a portion but we refused to accept anything because this is DD's 18th B-day gift as well. Honestly, we are in a suite that sleeps all 6 of us and the 3-6 pp rate was not too high.
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Old 07-29-2013, 10:14 AM   #24
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It's not a generosity thing, it's common manners. You invite, you expect to pay. If the invitation to join starts with the caveat of splitting some costs, then that's fine, but that conversation should definitely start with that.
It used to be the norm that the bride's family would pay for everything, including hotel rooms for out of town guests and all the bridesmaid's gowns. Of course, in the olden days many weddings were small and there were no out of town guests and the bridesmaids were sisters or cousins. Now, everyone pays their own expenses and often a bridesmaid or best man will spend thousands to be in a wedding.

The OP proposed a split that I think was more than generous. As I said I paid for my daughter's air ticket and the family that invited her paid for everything else.

A group of us have kids who play on the same team. We do take other kids to out of town tournaments, and the host family pays for the hotels, gas, and set expenses, but the kids pay for their own meals and shopping. It's sort of an even exchange thing, as next time you may be the family who sends your daughter with another family. We don't try to make it entirely fair as some tournaments are 2 hours away and some 10, so the expenses are different.

Nancy
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Old 07-29-2013, 03:00 PM   #25
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Originally Posted by bekkio View Post
I'm debating whether or not to allow my teenage DD to bring a friend along with us on our 7day western cruise next summer. I know we can't cover all of the expenses for her, but here is the split I was considering:

We cover:
Cruise fare & gratuities
Meals pre/post cruise
Transportation to/from port

Her family covers:
Airfare
Excursions
Spending money


What am I leaving out? I'm really hoping to be able to make this work.

TIA!
Sounds very reasonable. On a related note, I have two teenage daughters who would love to be your daughter's friend!
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:08 PM   #26
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Not exactly the same, but my FIL and MIL have paid for our cruises since they have more disposable income and said they'd rather enjoy it with us now than later.

We pay for our own airfare, our hotel before/after, tips and excursions. Sometimes grandma and grandpa will help out even more by paying some of our daughters' expenses (airfare).

While it sounds like a "free" cruise, it's not because we still incur thousands in airfare, hotel, food, trips, excursions. It's really at the top of our budgeting.

Which is to say, it really depends on money. If you can pay her way completely, that would be nice, but she and her family would probably be very happy to have a "discounted" vacation.
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:44 PM   #27
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I think the original OP is being very fair. We invited my brother in law and newphe on our next Dream trip. We made it clear from the get go that we would cover the cruise and the accomodations at DW after. we are not in a position that we could cover airfare/food/spending money. He was fine with that.. The way he saw it was that 1. If we didn't invite them, they wouldn't be able to ever go and 2. even though we can't pay for everything, we are covering the largest part of this trip.
Our son is an only child and we have taken his friends on trips before and we always present it the same way... Then they have the option of accepting or not...
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Old 07-29-2013, 04:59 PM   #28
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We let our son bring a friend along on our seven night eastern cruise. The only thing we had his parents pay for was airfare and extra spending money for souvenirs.
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Old 07-29-2013, 05:01 PM   #29
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It is perfectly fine to invite someone's kid on a huge vacation like this by prefacing it with the split. No biggie. You are being kind inviting their kid to spend memories with you.
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Old 07-29-2013, 09:07 PM   #30
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How old is your daughter and her friend? Have you been on DCL before? My son brought a friend once we paid for everything...but that was because his family had no $$ at all....he asked if he could bring a friend this time I said no....but he makes friends the first day anyway and we never see him except for diner...

my son will be 17 for next years cruise...just graduating from HS.
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