Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 07-28-2013, 11:03 AM   #16
OceanAnnie
I guess I have a thing against maroon food
If they are well behaved I'm okay
 
OceanAnnie's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 17,070

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mystery Machine View Post
Bottom line the friend "used you" and that does stink.

Instead of going "guns blazing" I would take this as a "life lesson" in that if you know there is an issue do not expect things to be different.

As I have gotten older I realized that I have to be the one to recognize "reality" and then put it into practice.

If I know there is "an issue" and I was not able deal with an issue, then I have to have to speak up and say no or do a "test run" first as PP stated.

Apply this philosophy to the rest of your life. It will never steer you wrong.
I agree.

You can't control other people's behavior only your own.

It is appalling the lack of care or concern for their dd and for your friendship. Their priorities speak volumes. You aren't going to change that. Saying anything about it won't change that. It would probably be a prime scenario for "shoot the messenger". People that ignore their flaws/situations do not react well to having their flaws served to them in any way.

So I would make up my mind about what would serve our family best. That would be not to put myself or my family in any type of situation that smells the least bit like the one you just had.

I would back off of the friendship. It seems rather unbalanced if this experience is any indication of how you are perceived and treated by this family.

Appalling.
__________________


"We do not see things as they are, we see them as we are." -- Anais Nin

"Some lived careful lives and some lived careless lives, and everything that happened could be explained by the differences between them." -- Anne Tyler

"When you are a hammer, everything is a nail." --- Unknown



OceanAnnie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 11:55 AM   #17
lizabu
DIS Veteran
 
lizabu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 4,630

All I can think is you didn't have to say yes to babysitting. You knew it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I hope next time you stand up for yourself and say no.
lizabu is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 07-28-2013, 12:14 PM   #18
dakcp2001
Am I wrong to want a cashier and bagger?
Chicken wings are his crack
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,294

You should have done a trial run before the actual cruise since you knew she had issues. Seems odd for an 11 year old, isn't that a bit old for this kind of thing? Anyway, what they did was crappy, but you are partially to blame because you knew. I would decline any further babysitting, AND I'd start asking them for favors. I guarantee they say no or are too busy. Remember her answer when you ask her for a favor, then repeat it back to her each time she asks for one in the future. She does not sound like much of a friend. And she's defiantly not getting mother of the year this year either.
dakcp2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:08 PM   #19
The Mystery Machine
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Missouri
Posts: 44,945

Quote:
Originally Posted by dakcp2001 View Post
You should have done a trial run before the actual cruise since you knew she had issues. Seems odd for an 11 year old, isn't that a bit old for this kind of thing? Anyway, what they did was crappy, but you are partially to blame because you knew. I would decline any further babysitting, AND I'd start asking them for favors. I guarantee they say no or are too busy. Remember her answer when you ask her for a favor, then repeat it back to her each time she asks for one in the future. She does not sound like much of a friend. And she's defiantly not getting mother of the year this year either.
I thought of that as well. I would probably ask her for a BIG favor right away and see what happens.
The Mystery Machine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:11 PM   #20
mom2rtk
DIS Veteran
 
mom2rtk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 28,706

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mystery Machine View Post
I thought of that as well. I would probably ask her for a BIG favor right away and see what happens.
Yeah. I just wouldn't get my hopes up. She'll probably be jet lagged or something.
mom2rtk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:12 PM   #21
emer95
DIS Veteran
 
emer95's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 1,857

I think you and your dh deserve to celebrate your next anniversary with an overnight getaway, and she should take your 4 kids!
__________________
emer95 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:14 PM   #22
Bluestars
Smile and let the world wonder what you have been up to
I know I am strange, but you asked
 
Bluestars's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,709

Quote:
Originally Posted by SLK1 View Post
Thanks everyone! You're all correct...bottom line is listen to your gut, or don't ignore the red flags. If I was concerned enough to ASK if she was ready, I should have known it really wasn't so.

As for saying something to the friend, I guess I should look at what I hope to accomplish. It will accomplish nothing. I was used, they had their cruise, their kid was miserable (at night anyway...during the day she's just fine). But going forward, NEVER AGAIN!

Have a great day!
I think you were used. It was up to the parent to do a trial run at somebody's house to make sure her daughter was over her issues instead of hoping for the best with you and assuring you that she was fine.

I would just let it go and never do that again.
Bluestars is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:20 PM   #23
PatsGirl
Kids will write the darndest things
I'm a fan of the Red Sox and anyone who beats the Yankees
I can't believe my parents lived through my shenanigans
 
PatsGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: South of Boston, Very north of Magic
Posts: 4,217

Quote:
Originally Posted by emer95 View Post
I think you and your dh deserve to celebrate your next anniversary with an overnight getaway, and she should take your 4 kids!
__________________
Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug!" So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

Brenda , Ed :Jacob 24 Alexandra 17 and two steps ~ Shawn 25 Nichole 24

SO turned husband March 2013

Next up ~ Halloween Horror Nights 2013 at Universal

F&W/FD for September 2012 with DD and SO who's a Disney virgin...this could be a dealbreaker

Celebrated my 50th with DD at Disneyland April 2011
PatsGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 01:29 PM   #24
ronandannette
DIS Veteran
 
ronandannette's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Calgary, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 2,317

Quote:
Originally Posted by emer95 View Post
I think you and your dh deserve to celebrate your next anniversary with an overnight getaway, and she should take your 4 kids!
OP says she and her DH never leave their kids, not that they don't because they can't find a babysitter. Personally I think "couples-time" is vital, but not everybody feels the same way. It's doubtful that she would even think of asking the friend to do this.
__________________
DL & Monarch of The Seas 2004 * WDW & Mariner of the Seas 2006 * DL & DCA 2011 * DL & DCA 2013 * DL & DCA 2014
ronandannette is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 02:48 PM   #25
mom to minnie&mickey
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 518

I think your "friends" acted in a very selfish way towards you and even their own daughter. A responsible parent would never consider leaving their child even if they only suspected a problem, which she did. Why did her adult son not keep her? NONE of this was your fault or your responsibility to make sure their child would be okay beforehand. You asked and she said everything was fine, there was no reason for you not to take her word for it.
It seems to me that for them it was "cruise at all costs".

The fact that they never phoned you when they found out about their daughter crying and you having to spend the night on their sofa speaks volumes to their knowing that this might have happened and feeling nervous to speak to you after the fact. Your feelings are totally justified! These are not friends I would be looking to spend any time with in the future.
mom to minnie&mickey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 03:43 PM   #26
dakcp2001
Am I wrong to want a cashier and bagger?
Chicken wings are his crack
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,294

I think they need to watch your 4 so you can have a nice night out to dinner. See what excuse they try to pull.
dakcp2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 03:59 PM   #27
hereyago
DIS Veteran
 
hereyago's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 8,152

OP, your kindness has been mistaken for weakness, that is wrong.

I do wonder why she didn't just stay home with the siblings to begin with? Because there is NO WAY I would have left my kids, my house at 3 am to passify a 11yo. Once she started that mess, either her oldest sibling would be coming to get her or I would have taken her home early and tell the younger sibling that she would be staying home for the weekend, then text her parents to say you cannot have your house disrupted by all that.
hereyago is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 04:51 PM   #28
TLuvsD
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 794

When your friend asks how it went, tell her the truth--very badly. If she doesn't ask, tell her anyway. No need for a huge confrontation, just information---"miss 11 is NOT ready for sleepovers, she was so upset I had to leave home at 3am". See what she says/does/offers (ie I'm so sorry, let me watch your kids next Saturday night so you guys can go to dinner, etc).

And don't babysit the kid again. At least not until she has had several successful overnights with other people you know and trust to tell you the truth.
TLuvsD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 04:55 PM   #29
mom2rtk
DIS Veteran
 
mom2rtk's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 28,706

Quote:
Originally Posted by TLuvsD View Post
When your friend asks how it went, tell her the truth--very badly. If she doesn't ask, tell her anyway. No need for a huge confrontation, just information---"miss 11 is NOT ready for sleepovers, she was so upset I had to leave home at 3am". See what she says/does/offers (ie I'm so sorry, let me watch your kids next Saturday night so you guys can go to dinner, etc).

And don't babysit the kid again. At least not until she has had several successful overnights with other people you know and trust to tell you the truth.
She's not going to ask how it went.
mom2rtk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-28-2013, 05:10 PM   #30
dakcp2001
Am I wrong to want a cashier and bagger?
Chicken wings are his crack
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 5,294

Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2rtk View Post
She's not going to ask how it went.
Yea, she already knows and couldn't give a rats patooty. She isnt going to ask, nor ever offer a favor. She knew how this would end, she didn't and probably still doesn't care. We all know people like this. Takers. They find the givers and suck them dry.
dakcp2001 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:31 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

You Rated this Thread: