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Old 07-28-2013, 07:13 PM   #16
mrsklamc
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Are you implying that I am old fashioned?
Nope, just that we live in different areas and have had different experiences.
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:14 PM   #17
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Country club wedding in the Bible Belt?

I'm guessing that while this would be great to wear to a wedding in Manhattan, you're courting trouble in Tulsa OK with black & strapless.

If you buy some kind of shrug in a color other than black (since your shoes are purple I'd go with that) and if you keep it on all night you'd probably be OK.

Google "purple shrugs"...there are quite a number to choose from.
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Old 07-28-2013, 07:17 PM   #18
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From a Great Grandmother's point of view, this dress would be a no because of its color. You should never wear black or white to a wedding. I think that it might cause comment in the "older family members" crowd.
This must be a regional thing, because here in the North East, a little black dress is pretty much everyone's go-to thing for weddings. I really wouldn't consider much of anything besides a black cocktail dress for any wedding other than an very casual wedding.

OP, I think your choice of this dress is a great one. I do like the idea of a shawl, especially if there's a possibility of sitting near an air conditioning vent.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:09 PM   #19
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You look beautiful and should wear exactly what you would like. However if your goal truly is to not stand out then I personally would choose a different look for the wedding. In a nutshell, your look is very urban, IMO. I know because I live in an urban area in the PNW. Your outfit would look perfect here, including the ink!

But for what you've described as your goal I would pick a color other than black and something with more coverage on top. I would also go for nude or black shoes, depending on the dress. The coverage would be for modesty and also to deflect attention from your tattoo. Otherwise the tattoo will be the first thing everyone notices about you. That can be fine. But if you really want to blend in more, then I would dress more conservatively.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:12 PM   #20
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As far as the color black goes, I agree that a little black dress can be perfect for a wedding. An, if the OP wants to blend in, then the smallest "issue" is the color black in this case. Black can be worn in a much more conservative way. Hairstyle plays a role in the overall look, as well. If the OP wants to blend in more then I would not wear it down.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:36 PM   #21
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It's a cute outfit but if you're trying to impress your boyfriend's conservative family I'd go with something different. I think what you chose is just a little too much for where you're going.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:45 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by bethy View Post
You look beautiful and should wear exactly what you would like. However if your goal truly is to not stand out then I personally would choose a different look for the wedding. In a nutshell, your look is very urban, IMO. I know because I live in an urban area in the PNW. Your outfit would look perfect here, including the ink!

But for what you've described as your goal I would pick a color other than black and something with more coverage on top. I would also go for nude or black shoes, depending on the dress. The coverage would be for modesty and also to deflect attention from your tattoo. Otherwise the tattoo will be the first thing everyone notices about you. That can be fine. But if you really want to blend in more, then I would dress more conservatively.
I agree with this. I would picture this dress being worn to an evening wedding at trendy urban type location. I would look for something that is knee length and in maybe a jewel tone. I think a darker purple, jade or navy would look good with your hair color and skin tone.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:53 PM   #23
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OP, you need to talk to your boyfriend again. Get a good idea/vibe from him what his family is like. If they are conservative people, I would think about a different dress. Does the family appreciate the ink? When you are saying older people, I'm guessing grandparents? Ask about how they are going to react to see the tattoo? If this the first time meeting a lot of this family, I would lean on the side of caution and wear a short sleeve dress. I personally think the style of dress is just fine. If the bride is trendy or "upscale" she would probably appreciate the black dress and the style.

Is the entire service taking place at the country club or the reception? If the service takes place in a church, it's pretty traditional in the South to cover your shoulders. (I'm 35 and still can't go into church with naked shoulders).

I love the shoes and don't think there is a probably with them because you do have to be yourself to a point and the shoes show off a touch of you. Don't be someone you are not by any means.

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Old 07-28-2013, 08:53 PM   #24
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Well, don't know if it matters, but I wore this dress to another wedding in Tulsa last year:


No one said anything or made any comments, beyond telling me I looked pretty. The guests at that one ranged from prom-dress type outfits, to very similar to mine, to jeans and plaid shirts, lol.

Honestly I think it's the shoes that are throwing me off more than the dress. They're so...flashy, lol. That, and when we were at a work picnic for him last summer, one of the women there was wearing a pretty hi-low and several other women said she looked "skanky" or "****ty" so that hemline has me a bit concerned too. (i've never worn one before)

DB was able to get a cell signal for a bit, so I texted him a pic. He said he loved it.

I wasn't really asking about my tattoos...just the dress/shoe combo. Yes, I want people to have a good impression of me, but not to the point that I'm going to wear a sweater everywhere go in case someone doesn't like ink. It's part of me, who I am, and I like them. I didn't spend all that money to hide them away. For what it's worth, DB also has several.
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:56 PM   #25
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OP, is there someone from the area that you could ask? You don't want to stick out but you also need to be comfortable and be 'you', ykwim?
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Old 07-28-2013, 08:57 PM   #26
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Well if these are the same people at this wedding, then the cat's out of the bag about the ink.

The hemline is very 'in' right now so I would think people making comments about it were just jealous/snarky.
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Old 07-28-2013, 09:06 PM   #27
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OP, is there someone from the area that you could ask? You don't want to stick out but you also need to be comfortable and be 'you', ykwim?
Yeah and I don't know about OP but my guy would be useless at this. He would look, think "she looks hot" and have no idea if it was appropriate or not.
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Old 07-28-2013, 09:32 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by MissMichigan View Post
Well, don't know if it matters, but I wore this dress to another wedding in Tulsa last year:


No one said anything or made any comments, beyond telling me I looked pretty. The guests at that one ranged from prom-dress type outfits, to very similar to mine, to jeans and plaid shirts, lol.

Honestly I think it's the shoes that are throwing me off more than the dress. They're so...flashy, lol. That, and when we were at a work picnic for him last summer, one of the women there was wearing a pretty hi-low and several other women said she looked "skanky" or "****ty" so that hemline has me a bit concerned too. (i've never worn one before)

DB was able to get a cell signal for a bit, so I texted him a pic. He said he loved it.

I wasn't really asking about my tattoos...just the dress/shoe combo. Yes, I want people to have a good impression of me, but not to the point that I'm going to wear a sweater everywhere go in case someone doesn't like ink. It's part of me, who I am, and I like them. I didn't spend all that money to hide them away. For what it's worth, DB also has several.
This is a much more classic and elegant look than the dress in the OP. Very beautiful.

I would stick to something along these lines for a country club wedding in the bible belt.
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Old 07-28-2013, 10:04 PM   #29
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Country club wedding in the Bible Belt?

I'm guessing that while this would be great to wear to a wedding in Manhattan, you're courting trouble in Tulsa OK with black & strapless.

If you buy some kind of shrug in a color other than black (since your shoes are purple I'd go with that) and if you keep it on all night you'd probably be OK.

Google "purple shrugs"...there are quite a number to choose from.
I disagree. I am a Tulsa native, her dress would be fine. Tulsa is not some backwater. Have any of you all ever been to Tulsa? My guess would be no.

OP- I think the dress is fine but something about the shoes isn't working for me. I think it's the ankle strap with the high-low hemline. I think I'd try a different shoe. I'd also find a shrug or shawl to go with the dress in case the church is very formal or it's chilly.

ETA- I've worn black to the last three weddings I've attended here in OK. Two were held at a country club. Half the guests were in black cocktail dresses.
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Old 07-28-2013, 10:25 PM   #30
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Yes, I have been to Tulsa and wasn't thinking it was a backwater- I stand by my statement that someone will be judgy about the ink.
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