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Old 09-10-2013, 12:06 PM   #391
noahdove
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Oh, my goodness, these last 2 have me laughing so hard!!!! Keep these coming...
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Old 09-10-2013, 12:46 PM   #392
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Originally Posted by Golden Rose View Post
This is borderline rated R, not sure I should be sharing it! Please let me know if I should take it down, but it is both embarrassing and amusing, so I will go ahead and relate it in its entirety.

My most embarrassing moment happened about 5 years ago. We had just driven to WDW and were checking into our hotel for our first DVC stay, with our then about 4 year old son. DS really needed the bathroom, and really wanted me to take him, so we went to the restroom right off the hotel lobby (at SSR.) We ran to a stall (in the ladies' room, he was only 3 or 4), he pulled down his pants, lifted up the seat, and started um, relieving the urgency of his bladder. He was in such a hurry that he released the seat, which came crashing down on a part of him that we had been careful to teach him the correct name of.

DS started screaming and crying, "Ouch, it hurts, it hurts! Mommy, kiss it and make it better! Mommy, kiss my p*n*s! Kiss my p*n*s!"

He begins repeating this over and over, getting increasing frantic, because he still firmly believed that a kiss from Mommy makes everything better. I kissed his forehead, and told him it was all better. He said, "No, it still hurts, kiss my p*n*s."

I could hear someone laughing in another stall. I was starting to wonder when CPS was going to show up. I decided that the best solution was to sort of air blow a kiss in the general direction of his nether regions.

That seemed to satisfy him. He calmed down, got dressed, washed his hands, and walked with me back into the lobby. Where he announced in a loud voice,

"Thank you for blowing my p*n*s, Mommy!"

I spent the rest of the day convinced we were going to be thrown in jail, or at least banned from WDW forever.
Omgggggg roflmao
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Old 09-10-2013, 12:49 PM   #393
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Originally Posted by MinniesYooHoo View Post
I have another one that didn't happen to me but was funny none the less. Have y'all ever been witness to something in which the stars align perfectly and it happens in slow motion? Well, we were at Aloha Isle having a Dole Whip one day and were sitting at one of the tables that used to be there. (At least they were gone when we were just there in June) OK, here's where the slow motion part comes in. Mom, DD, and I are just sitting there people watching and I notice a beautiful little girl all done up in her princess finery sitting across from us eating her Dole Whip too. Next to her is a rather large man standing and at his feet is a squirrel that he doesn't notice. He takes a small step backwards and steps right on the squirrel's tail. It spooked that squirrel so badly that it shot straight forward, up that poor little girls dress, and got stuck in the frilly crinoline underneath. She let out a screech that could've fit right in at HM, threw her Dole Whip which landed in her mother lap, and frantically tried to get her dress off! It all happened so fast, once again, all I could do was laugh. The little girl was fine, just a little shaken understandibly. We all laughed about that all day long!
Poor kid! Lmao
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:23 PM   #394
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Originally Posted by ZebraDomeCrazy View Post
So I ask the Chinese CM, in my slowest, loudest American voice,so she could understand me, "What do you call this material"?.. to which she replies, in her slowest, loudest perfect English voice, "In my country, we call this Plastic"! I was soooo mortified. I ran out as fast as I could.
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Old 09-10-2013, 03:33 PM   #395
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I was totally roflamo on the SSR story. I read it to my family and they thought it was totally hilarious.

The China story was pretty funny too. We forget they speak english even though they come from other countries. I have also done the speak really slowly thing myself.
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Old 09-10-2013, 04:21 PM   #396
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This one wasn't even remotely funny at the time, but we were at the MK on my birthday with my two month old daughter. While getting on the train, I set her in her car seat for a second so that we could get the stroller loaded. The car seat fell off the seat with my daughter in it. She obviously lost it, and she pooped in her diaper which subsequently smeared all over my white shirt on a 100 degree day.

Thank goodness she was fine and I learned a lesson about setting car seats on things with my kid in it. every time we ride the train now, she jokes about, but no one (her least of all) thought it was funny at the time.
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Old 09-11-2013, 07:09 AM   #397
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Mine is a total mommy epic fail.

Our first trip to Disney and my daughter is 3. I had her in her stroller and we get to talking to a CM at the hill in Epcot where the back entrance is to the world (not sure what its called but down at the bottom you can see Pinocchio and Max) and I am so excited about everything Disney being in the "bubble" that I dont even realize that I have let go of the stroller handles and there goes my daughter quickly down the hill and the stroller kinda curves into the side of the walkway. Well the hubby and myself go chasing her and when we get to her she tells me it was the best ride she had been on yet My husband has NEVER let me live that one down and they both like to remind me every time we get to that spot not to talk to any CMs.
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:11 PM   #398
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Every year as a child from the age of 9 we went to WDW. My grandmother would always come, she was a saint. She never rode and rides, she just loved to watch us have fun.

She would always bring a bag with her to the park. It usually contained raincoats, vaseline (don't ask getting old sucks) and snacks. We would take turns carrying it throughout the day. One day we left it on the bus when heading back to Port Orleans.

I was about thirteen at the time and everyone sent me to the front desk to explain that our bag was missing. The next question was "what was in it". I turned an inexplainable shade of red.

Our bag was returned later that night with all of it's contents. It long became an ongoing joke with our family.

When you pass by Splash Mountain say hi to my grandmother. Her ashes are spread in the bushes that face the hill. That was her favorite spot to sit and watch her grandkids having fun.
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Old 09-11-2013, 09:41 PM   #399
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justcrusin View Post
Every year as a child from the age of 9 we went to WDW. My grandmother would always come, she was a saint. She never rode and rides, she just loved to watch us have fun.

She would always bring a bag with her to the park. It usually contained raincoats, vaseline (don't ask getting old sucks) and snacks. We would take turns carrying it throughout the day. One day we left it on the bus when heading back to Port Orleans.

I was about thirteen at the time and everyone sent me to the front desk to explain that our bag was missing. The next question was "what was in it". I turned an inexplainable shade of red.

Our bag was returned later that night with all of it's contents. It long became an ongoing joke with our family.

When you pass by Splash Mountain say hi to my grandmother. Her ashes are spread in the bushes that face the hill. That was her favorite spot to sit and watch her grandkids having fun.
I'll remember to say hi to grandmother next time I'm near SP.
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Old 09-12-2013, 07:48 AM   #400
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justcrusin
Every year as a child from the age of 9 we went to WDW. My grandmother would always come, she was a saint. She never rode and rides, she just loved to watch us have fun.

She would always bring a bag with her to the park. It usually contained raincoats, vaseline (don't ask getting old sucks) and snacks. We would take turns carrying it throughout the day. One day we left it on the bus when heading back to Port Orleans.

I was about thirteen at the time and everyone sent me to the front desk to explain that our bag was missing. The next question was "what was in it". I turned an inexplainable shade of red.

Our bag was returned later that night with all of it's contents. It long became an ongoing joke with our family.

When you pass by Splash Mountain say hi to my grandmother. Her ashes are spread in the bushes that face the hill. That was her favorite spot to sit and watch her grandkids having fun.
I'll make sure I say hi to your grandmother as I stand there and watch my son go down . Great story.
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Old 09-12-2013, 10:11 AM   #401
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It was moms 60th bday dinner at hoop de do, front table, 8 of us, expensive night. Dh didn't eat lunch bc he wanted to save his appetite for dinner. Right as the music starts and we are all clapping dd1 starts to projectile vomit all over dh's lap and the floor the red fruitopia she was drinking early on. Dh tries to call my name in a panic of help me, I'm too busy clapping and having a good time I don't see the performer girl come up to our table and slide in DD's floor vomit. This all happened in a matter of 35seconds. Performer girl goes down, hops right back up and goes on stage. Smh we cleaned up, ran out of there and never even saw the food.
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Old 09-12-2013, 12:05 PM   #402
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ZebraDomeCrazy View Post
So I ask the Chinese CM, in my slowest, loudest American voice,so she could understand me, "What do you call this material"?.. to which she replies, in her slowest, loudest perfect English voice, "In my country, we call this Plastic"!
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Old 09-12-2013, 12:06 PM   #403
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Originally Posted by justcrusin View Post
When you pass by Splash Mountain say hi to my grandmother. Her ashes are spread in the bushes that face the hill. That was her favorite spot to sit and watch her grandkids having fun.
This is lovely
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Old 09-12-2013, 08:49 PM   #404
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justcrusin View Post
Every year as a child from the age of 9 we went to WDW. My grandmother would always come, she was a saint. She never rode and rides, she just loved to watch us have fun.

She would always bring a bag with her to the park. It usually contained raincoats, vaseline (don't ask getting old sucks) and snacks. We would take turns carrying it throughout the day. One day we left it on the bus when heading back to Port Orleans.

I was about thirteen at the time and everyone sent me to the front desk to explain that our bag was missing. The next question was "what was in it". I turned an inexplainable shade of red.

Our bag was returned later that night with all of it's contents. It long became an ongoing joke with our family.

When you pass by Splash Mountain say hi to my grandmother. Her ashes are spread in the bushes that face the hill. That was her favorite spot to sit and watch her grandkids having fun.
What a nice story! This is not embarrassing but I think of my grandpa at the Downtown Disney Lego store. Back when they had the lego family and there was a Lego Grandpa sitting on the bench on the side of the Lego Store. Have a picture of my grandpa sitting with the Lego grandpa! He loved acting like a kid, so it was perfect for him! Going back in 11 days!!
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Old 09-12-2013, 09:18 PM   #405
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njpsteacher
It was moms 60th bday dinner at hoop de do, front table, 8 of us, expensive night. Dh didn't eat lunch bc he wanted to save his appetite for dinner. Right as the music starts and we are all clapping dd1 starts to projectile vomit all over dh's lap and the floor the red fruitopia she was drinking early on. Dh tries to call my name in a panic of help me, I'm too busy clapping and having a good time I don't see the performer girl come up to our table and slide in DD's floor vomit. This all happened in a matter of 35seconds. Performer girl goes down, hops right back up and goes on stage. Smh we cleaned up, ran out of there and never even saw the food.
I hope your DD was alright afterwards. But I really feel bad for the performer. I feel nauseated just thinking about that slip and fall. YUCK!!
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