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Old 07-19-2013, 11:24 AM   #46
bzkds
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Sorry, not to hijack the thread... but I added extra gratuities to our usual amounts at Guest services (instead of putting cash in the individual envelopes). Do the servers/hosts get a list of who paid how much? How do they even know I paid extra if they just get an total tip amount on their paycheck?
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:43 AM   #47
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I have friends like this, and it's time to get her a really good travel agent and be done with it. but I really like the advice of putting your thoughts in writing for her!

as everyone said, sadly, the servers won't probably notice until they add up what they made that cruise and it's less than normal. and sadly again, one person not tipping may not even make them blink because I have a suspicion this happens frequently.
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:48 AM   #48
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Wait, I have it!!!!!

Have your husband email her the info!!!! Since he "knows her tastes so much better than you do", write up the email and send it from him. (With his knowledge, of course!!!) Oh, and be sure to have him include a suggested tip.

She'll have a choice: say that her boss didn't give her the info or decide to have a great time... it's win-win.
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:52 AM   #49
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Wait, I have it!!!!!

Have your husband email her the info!!!! Since he "knows her tastes so much better than you do", write up the email and send it from him. (With his knowledge, of course!!!) Oh, and be sure to have him include a suggested tip.

She'll have a choice: say that her boss didn't give her the info or decide to have a great time... it's win-win.
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Old 07-19-2013, 11:58 AM   #50
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I know you're centered around the servers tips here, but if she's not tipping anyone, then I wonder what her bags are going to look like when they get to her room when she doesn't tip the porters at the port? Gee ,,, they came in that way....
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:01 PM   #51
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Sorry to hear she is such a pain in the butt. I find it interesting that she had such a horrible trip to WDW and yet she chose DCL for a cruise.

I'm sure if the company she works for gives bonuses she keeps it.
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:10 PM   #52
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Yes, he works for a well known insurance company that also has a large financial division. It is difficult to get fired from there. Once you're in, you're in.
That's too bad. I used to know some secretaries like that, and they really just are miserable no matter what you do and how much you do for them. I'd chalk it up to her having personal problems, and stay away from her as much as I can.

I know your DH thinks its funny, but maybe tell him that you don't want her talking bad about you guys behind his back at work so you'd rather just not get involved with his secretary's personal life (ie vacations). It's just so unclassy to not tip, especially when it's someone's wages.
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:20 PM   #53
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Oh how i wish i was a fly on the wall on her cruise
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:33 PM   #54
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For starters, realize that all you can do is give her advice. You can't make her take it, and you bear no responsiblity for her choice not to follow it.

What I would do, is sit at my computer, and write out a list of all the tips I wanted to give. (Actually, I've done that time and time again for coworkers.) Tell her that you wanted to get your thoughts organized, and to make it easy for her to remember your tips. Include the info you've given her on gratuities. And save it on your computer.

Then give it to her, and forget it.

When she gets back and complains, your husband can tell her to check the sheets; the info was there.
You took the words right out of my mouth...

Alternatively, since she has shown a distinct lack of interest in following your recommendations, notwithstanding that she was the one who asked for them, just refuse to provide her with any more assistance. If she has Disney related questions, send her the link to the Disboards and she can ask her questions here - I'm sure she'll "love" the responses she gets.
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Old 07-19-2013, 12:43 PM   #55
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I know you're centered around the servers tips here, but if she's not tipping anyone, then I wonder what her bags are going to look like when they get to her room when she doesn't tip the porters at the port? Gee ,,, they came in that way....
And will have deserved it.

I'd love to hear the full argument on why someone paid below our minimum wage doesn't deserve a tip.

The OP is in a quandary. She needs to have the peace kept between her husband and this employee, as well as the peace at home. Her husband is totally in line with not pushing the issue with his asst.
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:21 PM   #56
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You took the words right out of my mouth...

Alternatively, since she has shown a distinct lack of interest in following your recommendations, notwithstanding that she was the one who asked for them, just refuse to provide her with any more assistance. If she has Disney related questions, send her the link to the Disboards and she can ask her questions here - I'm sure she'll "love" the responses she gets.
"I'm sorry, I felt like you thought I mislead you last time and I felt really bad about that. I don't want to be put in the situation of feeling responsible for your vacation. I hear there is a lot of advice out on the internet. Have a great time!"

I think sometimes that we who love Disney love to talk about it so much that we talk about it even when it isn't in our best interests.

As for tipping, she won't be the first or the last to stiff her servers. It isn't your problem.
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:23 PM   #57
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"I'm sorry, I felt like you thought I mislead you last time and I felt really bad about that. I don't want to be put in the situation of feeling responsible for your vacation. I hear there is a lot of advice out on the internet. Have a great time!"

I think sometimes that we who love Disney love to talk about it so much that we talk about it even when it isn't in our best interests.

As for tipping, she won't be the first or the last to stiff her servers. It isn't your problem.
I really like that suggested response. If she won't take your advice & then blames you for her poor time of it, stop giving advice but do so in a polite manner. Will be interested to know if you hear how her cruise went.
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:25 PM   #58
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That's going to be her problem and not anybody else's. It wouldn't occur to me to be concerned about how the crew will react to the fact that she won't be giving them tips, because it's her choice to behave that way. If they're rude to her, then you're afraid she will blame you for it? That's what she is setting herself up for.

Personally I don't think I would have explained to her that she can remove the tips that will be charged to her shipboard account...let her figure that one out on her own. I think I'd stop giving her advice too, as soon as it became obvious that she had no intention of taking any of it and said so, and then had the colossal nerve to blame you for her failure to take your advice. (and you might want to tell your husband to quit offering you to her as a free personal travel planner. Maybe in nicer terms than that if you want.)

By the way - the vouchers are not the tip. The crew gets their tips paid into their accounts electronically, just the way you paid them to DCL. So they get paid even if you don't actually hand them the voucher.
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Old 07-19-2013, 01:40 PM   #59
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Wait, I have it!!!!!

Have your husband email her the info!!!! Since he "knows her tastes so much better than you do", write up the email and send it from him. (With his knowledge, of course!!!) Oh, and be sure to have him include a suggested tip.

She'll have a choice: say that her boss didn't give her the info or decide to have a great time... it's win-win.
I think this is a great idea!
I know it's hard to ignore such nasty people (and she sounds like a pill) but your husband may have the right attitude it letting her barbs roll off--a turning point in my own life was when I decided to stop letting people like that bother me so much.

Finally, I'd suggest you conceal your identity on here as much as possible. She might be mean but she also might be able to tell who you are and that's when her mean-ness could cause trouble for you or your husband.

Best of luck with this!
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Old 07-19-2013, 03:08 PM   #60
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Wow! This woman sounds like a real piece of work! I agree with the other posters that you should just quit giving in to this woman's demands for vacation advice.

I bet she'll have a hard time refusing to tip the room service attendant! My co-worker just got back from a Norweigan Cruise Line cruise and she said that the room service attendant walked right INTO her room, and stood there waiting for his tip. She said he was NOT gonna leave until she tipped him! And one time she says it was a different guy and he wasn't happy with the $2 she gave him and so he STAYED in the doorway asking if there was more he could do for her to make her meal extra special. She said the pressure to tip more was unreal!

I'm planning on handing the room service waiter $5 before he even hands me the tray just to avoid the uncomfortableness of his "asking" for a tip with his body language!
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