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Old 07-18-2013, 12:24 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by bookgirl
I know that some places will let you 'walk' your loved one to the loading area, but it's inclosed and you only see the door to the furnace, it's not like it's see through. There are thin cardboard type caskets for creamation.

I suspect to some it's no different than walking to the grave and watching the lowering of the casket and the burial (which I find very unsettling).

I would probably handle the cremation better than the burying.
Several years ago, DH's 19 year old niece was killed in a rollover accident. Her dad was Native American and she grew up on a reservation with him. That's where the funeral was held. When we arrived at the viewing DN was wrapped up in a few woven blankets (her face and head were visible and only covered by a thin shroud). She was placed on a table in the family's home. It was July with temps in the high 90s and no air conditioning and she had not been embalmed.

After the viewing, she was carried on a wooden board to the church. Everyone walked to the church in a processional. The church was very old and ancient. No AC there, either. After the service, she was carried to a grave behind the church that had been dug by family members. Before she was lowered into the ground, her dad said his final goodbye and then pulled the blanket up over her head and face. She was put into the grave just in the blankets (no casket). Loved ones walked by and dropped roses on her. Then several men began shoveling the sand on top of her.

It was the most heart-wrenching funeral I've ever attended, especially when her parents had to say goodbye and lower their own child into the ground and then shovel the dirt over her.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:37 PM   #32

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I've never witnessed a cremation. My Mom was cremated and I think I could have handled pushing the ignition button, but it never came to that. We were never even given the opportunity by the funeral director. I get the impression that the cremation was done somewhere that family members wouldn't have necessarily wanted to see.

I made my Mom's cremation vessels, two of them. My sister has half of the ashes and I have the other half. When I die, it's known that I want to be mixed with my mother's ashes, but I'll put it in writing so that my wishes are realized.
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Old 07-18-2013, 01:46 PM   #33
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When my dog passed we opted for cremation. They asked my husband and I if we wanted to be present. My husband did and actually helped. My dog was 180 pounds.

In all the years I have known people that were cremated never once have I witnessed the cremation or know anyone that has.
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