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Old 06-21-2013, 07:02 AM   #46
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We've substituted mindless video games for time fillers instead of filling that down time with meaningful conversation. No wonder we have a generation of kids with poor social skills, (and academic skills) and an obsession to be on their cellphones 24/7. We've let them be trained to think that social interaction and down time satisfaction come from a little handheld bit of metal and plastic.

I work in a high school, and the dumbing down of social expectations is very painful to witness.
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:12 AM   #47
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Originally Posted by Schmeck View Post

I work in a high school, and the dumbing down of social expectations is very painful to witness.
Electronics today are compared to television in the 70s. Well,I don't know about you but our television was limited to Saturday morning cartoons and maybe another three or four shows over the course of the week. The rest of the time we were expected to keep ourselves busy playing together, usually outside, unless it was really really cold or raining. Once we were teens, sure, we watched a bit more tv but still, what I watched (and everyone else I knew) in a WEEK doesn't add up to the amount of time kids today are glued to their electronics in a DAY.

As television was used as a babysitter back then, so electronics are today. Unfortunately, the "babysitter" is being used soooo much more today.

How many babies do you remember being put in a sittie-up chair in front of a video while they were still infants?
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:20 AM   #48
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I think that's a reasonable expectation when the kids do have peers to talk to, but not so much for a single 6 year old trying to make conversation with a group of adults for days. At some point, she's bound to want to "escape" to something that lets her be a 6yo as a break from conversation with adults and exercising her patience and best behaviour in the parks.
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:22 AM   #49
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Oh yes. There is definitely the "overwhelmed" thing. That's why I usually tell people to wait until a kid is 7 or 8 or 9 before taking them. But they were ready to do it this year because they know how important Disney is to us and they wanted to experience it with us. This little girl is 6 1/2 and she seems to be more of an introvert than an extrovert. And that's fine. I'm an introvert, too. She was very much into the character of Marie from the Aristocats, and I bought her a stuffed Marie. I also always tell people that Disney parks are generally more fun for older kids and adults than for children. But people who haven't been before have a hard time comprehending that.

They didn't really let her play it that much while we were down there. She had to nap during nap time, but did get to play it some. She was probably playing it less than her normal amount. But she still seemed a slightly obsessed with it, telling me all about how to play it even when we were just walking through the parks. At the airport when we were headed home, she was showing me how to play it. Her dad is very involved with an online interactive video game. So video games is just one of their things. But they have other interests and make sure that she has other interests and activities, too. She's pretty well-rounded. But when I think about the kids whose parents set no limits?
When I was that age, up through HS, my parents took the family on long (2 week) trips all over, focusing mainly on the Sangre de Christo mountains and the Rockies. (It was cooler there!) I always brought books with me, more as time went on to the point where I brought a bag the size of a carry on bag as my "library" during my HS years. Yes, I read in the car, but I also read and read and read on vacation.

It didn't mean I didn't like our vacations! I was just an extreme introvert who needed a little bit of down time. My parents were old hands at the kids thing by the time I came along, and they just let me have my books. My favorite place to spend my time was in bookstores and that was fine by them!

This little girl sounds like she was doing the same thing. I'd just leave it be. she sounds perfectly healthy enough and will have a lot of great experiences with parents like the ones you described and friends like you!

As for describing Minecraft, as others have posted, that's just where she is developmentally. Endure it or find ways to enjoy it, because the pay out for listening to her describe her current obsession will be immense when she gets older in her memories of you being willing to listen!
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:25 AM   #50
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[QUOTE=PatsGirl;48739746] Electronics today are compared to television in the 70s. Well,I don't know about you but our television was limited to Saturday morning cartoons and maybe another three or four shows over the course of the week. The rest of the time we were expected to keep ourselves busy playing together, usually outside, unless it was really really cold or raining. Once we were teens, sure, we watched a bit more tv but still, what I watched (and everyone else I knew) in a WEEK doesn't add up to the amount of time kids today are glued to their electronics in a DAY.

As television was used as a babysitter back then, so electronics are today. Unfortunately, the "babysitter" is being used soooo much more today.

How many babies do you remember being put in a sittie-up chair in front of a video while they were still infants?[/QUOTE]

I don't remember this. . .but back then, everyone had baby swings to put the infants into so they could watch TV with mommy.

Hmmm. . .maybe this why I love sitting in a rocker when I watch TV now!
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:31 AM   #51
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Would you feel the same way if someone had his nose in a book all the time?

Would you feel the same way if someone wanted to tinker with wood or electronic items, taking them apart and repairing them and talking about them all the time?

I have one son obsessed with board games. He can play them for hours and hours per day. Yes, there is some interaction with the other player, but I wouldn't say there is a whole lot more than when he plays games online with them with headphones to converse.

I have another son who loves to read. He will take a book along wherever we go.

Third son is just happy go lucky and can do whatever/whenever. I haven't raised him differently, it is 100% different personality.

I guess I am asking what exactly your beef is (not just you but many on here). Is it that the person is not socializing properly and focused on THINGS rather than humans, or is it the electronics themselves?

I have seen some kids play outside together, it isn't the Utopia many think it is. Some of these kids I would prefer my kids NOT play with.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by PatsGirl View Post
Electronics today are compared to television in the 70s. Well,I don't know about you but our television was limited to Saturday morning cartoons and maybe another three or four shows over the course of the week. The rest of the time we were expected to keep ourselves busy playing together, usually outside, unless it was really really cold or raining. Once we were teens, sure, we watched a bit more tv but still, what I watched (and everyone else I knew) in a WEEK doesn't add up to the amount of time kids today are glued to their electronics in a DAY.

As television was used as a babysitter back then, so electronics are today. Unfortunately, the "babysitter" is being used soooo much more today.

How many babies do you remember being put in a sittie-up chair in front of a video while they were still infants?
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:44 AM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Schmeck View Post
We've substituted mindless video games for time fillers instead of filling that down time with meaningful conversation. No wonder we have a generation of kids with poor social skills, (and academic skills) and an obsession to be on their cellphones 24/7. We've let them be trained to think that social interaction and down time satisfaction come from a little handheld bit of metal and plastic.

I work in a high school, and the dumbing down of social expectations is very painful to witness.
It's sad that you work in a school with such issues but you can't make blanket statements about an entire generation based on your personal experience.

I have a 13 yo and I have a completely different opinion on her classmates than you. Of course they love their electronics but they are very social, polite and bright.
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Old 06-21-2013, 07:48 AM   #53
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Honestly, I think every generation thinks the one coming up is the one with issues and that it "wasn't like that in MY day."

While the distractions may be different, they are still distractions.

I feel as you, and I am a former high school counselor!

My kids are social, but two of the three ARE more introverted and need down time. All of their time isn't productive, but show me an adult who is productive 100% of the time.

Many men spend countless hours watching sports. My husband spends countless hours playing sports. It is ok, we all need some chill time. Hobbies, books, even TV can fit that bill.

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It's sad that you work in a school with such issues but you can't make blanket statements about an entire generation based on your personal experience.

I have a 13 yo and I have a completely different opinion on her classmates than you. Of course they love their electronics but they are very social, polite and bright.
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:02 AM   #54
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Minecraft is extremely popular right now. It's like legos only you can build the whole world.

I don't like hearing that one of my kids would rather be playing minecraft than doing whatever we're doing. I usually let them know that this is a sign that they've been playing too much, and I may limit it. Which is exactly the opposite of what they're asking for, and it's not a threat but a genuine concern that they're overdoing it with the Minecraft or whatever. There are times to Minecraft and there are times not to Minecraft, and at Disney at least for our family is a time not to Minecraft.
I actually think it's a sign they like Minecraft better than whatever they're doing. Would you rather be reading Dis or doing the dishes? Surfing online or work?

Quote:
Originally Posted by PatsGirl View Post
Electronics today are compared to television in the 70s. Well,I don't know about you but our television was limited to Saturday morning cartoons and maybe another three or four shows over the course of the week. The rest of the time we were expected to keep ourselves busy playing together, usually outside, unless it was really really cold or raining. Once we were teens, sure, we watched a bit more tv but still, what I watched (and everyone else I knew) in a WEEK doesn't add up to the amount of time kids today are glued to their electronics in a DAY.

As television was used as a babysitter back then, so electronics are today. Unfortunately, the "babysitter" is being used soooo much more today.

How many babies do you remember being put in a sittie-up chair in front of a video while they were still infants?
And the television choices for kids back in the 70s was extremely limited. Aside from the Saturday morning cartoons, what else was targeted to kids? Now, they have multiple NETWORKS that provide 24/7/365 kids programming. I don't think you can compare watching TV in the 70s to now .
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:10 AM   #55
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I guess I am asking what exactly your beef is (not just you but many on here). Is it that the person is not socializing properly and focused on THINGS rather than humans, or is it the electronics themselves?



Dawn
My beef, and I'll only speak for myself, is the AMOUNT OF TIME spent not socializing or interacting with people. I absolutely believe everyone needs their downtime and making time for kids to "decompress" (during Disney trips especially) is a MUST. I would think it rude for a child to have their head in a book when in the company of others as much as I think it is rude for them to have their electronics out in the same scenario. Solo activities are just that ~ for time when you are alone. Of course, this is just MHO and honestly, I"m an introvert so I get the whole "need to be by myself alot" thing.
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Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug!" So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

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Old 06-21-2013, 08:15 AM   #56
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But unless the adults with her were engaging her, she WAS by herself.

Yes, I would think it rude to whip out an electronic item or book WHILE in a group that was there for the sole purpose of socializing, but this wasn't the case for this child.

I was an only child. I sympathize completely! And I am an EXTROVERT!

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My beef, and I'll only speak for myself, is the AMOUNT OF TIME spent not socializing or interacting with people. I absolutely believe everyone needs their downtime and making time for kids to "decompress" (during Disney trips especially) is a MUST. I would think it rude for a child to have their head in a book when in the company of others as much as I think it is rude for them to have their electronics out in the same scenario. Solo activities are just that ~ for time when you are alone. Of course, this is just MHO and honestly, I"m an introvert so I get the whole "need to be by myself alot" thing.
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Old 06-21-2013, 08:25 AM   #57
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I haven't read all replies tho my DS 13 is very immersed in MineCraft ;-) We are a very active family tho he's a tech gen baby and that's the just of it. He will do things with us as I'm sure on our trip to WDW he will enjoy time yet be rambling about MineCraft the entire time lol. He will have to have someone as a mod for his worlds so his buddies can play in said worlds,yep its that intense ;-) I don't believe a child should spend every waking moment on a screen so PLZ don't misinterpret my post just know in this day kids have more knowledge than most adults when it comes to our devices why not let them build on that?
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:24 AM   #58
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I have 3 girls, 13, 11, and 9. The 11 and 9yo are VERY into Minecraft right now. But, 9 times of 10, when invited to go outside and play, they'll put the game aside and accept the invitation. They also much prefer to play the game with their friends than play alone. They also enjoy many other activities throughout the week, dance, soccer, bike riding, swimming, etc.

They seem to go in spurts where every time I walk into a room, they are playing Minecraft, then a couple weeks later, they are outside all afternoon, every afternoon. I don't sweat it. I'm just glad they are not into fighting or war games. This is a game where they can use their imagination and they LOVE to show me what they've created. My 11yo is starting to dream of being an architect because of how much she enjoys creating worlds in this game. Their grades have not suffered and they spend tons of time with their friends and family. My 13yo will play with them sometimes and it's fun to listen to them all getting excited about different aspects of the game.

If they never, ever did anything but play a video game alone, I'd be concerned. But it's all about balance, at least to me it is. Having said all that, if I brought my 9yo on a week long trip with just adults, she'd probably spend a lot of time wanting to play this game during downtime as well. She wouldn't give up Rockin Rollercoaster for it though

It's hard to judge what's really going on with a child in a short one week stint when they are out of their normal element.
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Old 06-21-2013, 11:47 AM   #59
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When DS and I have traveled we both needed down-time to decompress. I didn't expect him to keep me entertained for a solid week and I definitely wanted my own time too. He might fool around with something electronic or read and I might watch something on TV or read. Sometimes it was a very welcome escape.

Maybe the little girl just needs some of the same and wants to relax doing something she thinks is fun? I see nothing wrong with that.
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Old 06-21-2013, 12:16 PM   #60
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There is nothing wrong with needing to decompress. I had to, too. I said earlier that I am also an introvert. She wanted the Marie stuffed animal, so I bought it for her to take naps with and play with. She also got one of those Simbas wrapped in a baby blanket. We wanted to provide those "lovies" for her because she specifically wanted them. Her parents let her play the game during our afternoon down times. I planned the trip, and we planned long afternoon breaks that included naps, swimming if she wanted, games, and pretty much whatever she wanted to do or needed to do (i.e. napping).

Like I said, I am also an introvert and was pretty much a zombie by the end of this trip, even though I go down there a few times a year. I just found it surprising that a child that young was so into a video game that it was constantly on her mind. That is new to me. I stated earlier in the thread that I don't have children. I've been on the DIS for over 11 years, and for anyone who's been on the CB a long time, the fact that I don't have children is not breaking news. However, while it doesn't make me anything close to knowing what it is like to be a parent, I'm 42 and have been married for 22 years. I have several nieces and nephews. I'm an RN and used to work in the school system with children one on one and in groups. I know that's not the same as being a parent, but I'm also not a 21 year old who possibly knows little to nothing about children from an adult perspective.

I was just wondering if it was common for kids that young to be so into video games to the point that they thought about it most of the time. I'd just never seen it before, and wondered if it was common. So I was asking the parents here. Apparently, it is.

I did play it with her. I talked to her about the game. I realized that it was her interest and that she wanted to talk about it and play it. It was her love language to me. But I wasn't going to get it on my phone at the parks just because she wanted me to. We were very engaged with her, and it's obvious that she would get somewhat bored being around adults most of the time. The way some people are posting, you'd think we either 1) ignored her the whole time, or 2) forced her to be in the parks 24 hours a day and deprived her of anything she thought was fun. It wasn't like that at all.
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