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Old 06-17-2013, 08:09 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by DizBelle View Post
What would people say if they let her return and her ex came to the school and other kids got hurt?
Either way, they'd bash the Catholic Church.
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Originally Posted by The Mystery Machine View Post
My thoughts on this is that there is no protection from psycho's when you are a victim.

As far as her being fired, it is just a response to how things are today. School cannot accept the risk. While I hate it, I can't see how you can allow that type of situation at your school.

Those poor kids.
Apparently, this woman was a victim for 20 years. Not likely to change any time soon. He'll get out, say he's sorry...and it continues.

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That's what I was thinking - she was contracted to teach this school year, which she was paid for even though she wasn't in the school, and the school chose not to bring her back for another year.

The article says the husband has had a history of DV for 20 years - I would guess this isn't the first time something like this has happened. Also speaks to the decision making of the teacher, if the charges over the past years have involved her and she continues to go back.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:12 PM   #62
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What would your answer be? What would you say to the families in that school> The parents of the students. The other teachers and staff?



This is where I would draw the line.
If I were a teacher in that school or a parent? I'd be looking for another school. One of the reasons some folks teach in religious schools or send their kids to such schools is the expectations that the schools will conduct themselves by the standards of their faith. This school is conducting itself by the CYA faith instead.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:14 PM   #63
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Originally Posted by Nancyg56 View Post
he is going to get out. That is the reality. This guy has a proven track record in the way he intends to follow through, and with that in mind, You would send your kids to that school?

As I said, this is addressing what has already occurred and attempting to mitigate any danger to the students in this school. This is not how do we deal with teachers who are victims of abuse. This is what happened because a teacher's spouse came to her school intending to do harm. One act was private and did not take place with threats in a school. Big difference IMO.
One act was private? We were talking about two incidents neither was private. One the man came to the school, was visible and the school was on lockdown, the other the son publicly shot many people at the school. You'll also note I also wasn't the one to compare the two, I was very clearly replying to another poster.

Not only would I send my kids to the school I would welcome the mom and her kids in my home. Where is it OK for her to work? Exactly? How about the kids do they ever get to go to school? How is your way even practical?
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:14 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by snarlingcoyote View Post
If I were a teacher in that school or a parent? I'd be looking for another school. One of the reasons some folks teach in religious schools or send their kids to such schools is the expectations that the schools will conduct themselves by the standards of their faith. This school is conducting itself by the CYA faith instead.
And if they did renew her contract and her husband came back and hurt her and her children and/or other adults and children, what would you call the faith that they conducted themselves in then, knowing they could have prevented it?
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:15 PM   #65
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Do are you saying children who go to catholic school are not entitled to the same protection that would be granted on a public school? This makes no sense to me. School is supposed to be safe.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:16 PM   #66
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One act was private? We were talking about two incidents neither was private. One the man came to the school, was visible and the school was on lockdown, the other the son publicly shot many people at the school. You'll also note I also wasn't the one to compare the two, I was very clearly replying to another poster.

Not only would I send my kids to the school I would welcome the mom and her kids in my home. Where is it OK for her to work? Exactly? How about the kids do they ever get to go to school? How is your way even practical?
Have her kids been denied placement in another school? Has she been denied employment because of this?
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:20 PM   #67
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Apparently, this woman was a victim for 20 years. Not likely to change any time soon. He'll get out, say he's sorry...and it continues.
Where did you read that?
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:24 PM   #68
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I think it's setting a bad precedent to let her go. If an ex showing up at a place of employment becomes the litmus test, then anyone who has the misfortune of being stalked, harassed or abused could potentially be let go.

I would keep her employed, beef up security and if the ex shows up, call the police pronto. Punish the bad guy, not the victim.

I think the article said that he is currently incarcerated anyway.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:25 PM   #69
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So if you have chosen to be a teacher you better make sure you keep your domestic violence private and just suck it up. How man teachers are now going to stay in an abusive relationship for fear of losing their job? How many are going to be another statistic? There are other ways to handle this. Move schools and keep it private. Make sure they are informed by law enforcement when her fine upstanding ex is released. Somehow I think the divorce played a factor. They just aren't saying it.
That probably isn't an option open to most private schools, because the hiring decisions are made by the school committee and apply only to that specific school. It isn't like a public district with multiple schools within their jurisdiction. And even if it were, teaching isn't a profession that lends itself to secrecy. My kids have attended 4 different public schools and 1 private, and every single one has a staff listing on their web site. It isn't as though transferring her across town would make her hard to find.

It is a horrible situation all the way around, but in the end I don't think the school had much choice. Private schools, particularly parochial schools, are struggling right now. Ours has a whopping 70 students, pre-K to 8, which is about half the students they served a decade ago and few enough that even a few families leaving the school over a perceived danger like this poor teacher's ex-husband would have a major impact. The news story mentioned a "movement" among parents to pull their kids out of school if nothing was done. And of course, there is also the liability... If they keep the teacher on and her ex comes back and shoots up the place, the school will take the blame both in the media and likely in civil court as well.

I want to know why all the outrage in this case seems to be directed at the school, rather than at the laws that will have this man back out on the streets in time for the next school year. So long as restraining orders go unenforced and domestic violence is a slap-on-the-wrist offense abusers will continue to terrorize their victims. One article mentioned a 20 year history of domestic violence, another said he faced two felony charges stemming from the January incident, and yet there's this, buried deep in the end of one news story: "Her ex-husband is scheduled to be released from Jail at the end of June." That is what people should be angry about - years of violence, ignoring a restraining order, terrorizing a school full of children, and what does he serve? Six whole months.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:28 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by snarlingcoyote View Post
If I were a teacher in that school or a parent? I'd be looking for another school. One of the reasons some folks teach in religious schools or send their kids to such schools is the expectations that the schools will conduct themselves by the standards of their faith. This school is conducting itself by the CYA faith instead.
Another reason people choose private school is to insulate their kids from the wackos that public schools are required to allow


Rotten situation all around IMO
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:48 PM   #71
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Originally Posted by Gumbo4x4 View Post
Another reason people choose private school is to insulate their kids from the wackos that public schools are required to allow


Rotten situation all around IMO
This isn't just a private school. It's a private Faith-based school.

If you actually follow the words of the founder of the faith this particular school belongs to, you kinda' sorta' have to be good to everyone. . .you can find the stated precepts of this faith online. I won't quote or link, since there's no religion on the boards, but yeah. . .
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:53 PM   #72
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You're right, the ex-husband did come to the school. He drove around the school and into the parking lot but did not (according to any of the dozen accounts I have read) attack her, brandish a gun or otherwise threaten her. Given that, you are just as guilty of pulling hypotheticals out of ... the air as anyone when you compare this man to Adam Lanza. There is no indication that he targeted or threatened the children at the school.

You have seriously jumped the shark from a domestic abuse situation to a full-on guns a-blazin' assault on dozens of innocent children.
But it isn't a stretch to say he has been a threat to student safety already. If there was no threat there would have been no lockdown. Maybe he won't ever come back, maybe he will and just drive around again, maybe he will and assault someone. It really isn't worth the risk to the school to risk it in my opinion based on what I've read in reference to this story.

Is it fair? Of course not, but much of life isn't fair.

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It doesn't appear that she was fired for being abused, she was let go because her ex came to the school and is a threat to the safety of the other students.
Yep. When your home life starts negatively bleeding into work, even if it is totally out of your control as in this case, you will often be let go. Let's face it, it is easier then worrying about the expense of adding more security and all the problems that might happen if the guy comes back later. And that is out in the corporate world without even taking into account the presence of children at your place of work.

Last edited by FireDancer; 06-17-2013 at 09:19 PM.
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:12 PM   #73
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I just read that the teacher in question has already gotten a job offer from another school.
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:17 PM   #74
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I just read that the teacher in question has already gotten a job offer from another school.
That is wonderful! Can you share the link?
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Old 06-17-2013, 09:18 PM   #75
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Link...

http://www.nbcsandiego.com/news/loca...211808321.html
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