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Old 05-03-2013, 01:52 PM   #1
lylone
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Is it tacky...

to have a wedding at Disney and not pay for the guests to travel and stay at the resort?
I am an older bride and this is my first wedding and I would like to have a wedding at Disney a place my father loved. My dad passed away during college and my mom has offered NO help in the wedding expenses. She says that it is the bride's responsibility to pay for wedding and transportation when the family and guests have to travel to get to the wedding.
Well, we just don't have that kind of money to be flying folks from all over.
Would it be okay just to set a date way in the future and invite people if they want to come? Most of my family are okay with it as long as it is planned in advance, but then my mother has a different view and I am sure has her own list of people she wants to be there. I know this because she just made a stink that cousins she knows were not invited to another family member's wedding.

Or should we just have a courthouse wedding and then invite people to a reception at home?

thanks for the advice...
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:03 PM   #2
bradleyjess
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Most Disney brides do not pay for any of the guests travel. It's not customary for the bride and groom to take on that cost.

I think you'll find most of your guests will be excited to travel to Disney if they're given enough time to plan! Don't give up on your Disney wedding! We're definitely not paying for any guests travel, and we have to pay for the wedding ourselves, too. Do what makes you happy!
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:12 PM   #3
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It is not customary for the bride and groom to pay transportation and lodging costs for guests for a destination wedding.

It sounds like your mom isn't very supportive. Please don't let her influence your plans. The day is about you and your DF and what you want. You don't want to look back on your wedding day with regrets.

Have fun planning!
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:13 PM   #4
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I second that!
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:18 PM   #5
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Congratulations on your Wedding. I have benn to numerous destination weddings.Never has a Bride paid for anything. I think you should get a nice hall a lot of them offer services of a ceremony. You could have a great wedding a reception and then go on an extra long honeymoon to Disney.The Grand Floridian is a very romantic hotel ,the Polynesian or Port orleans french or riverside also look romantic. Spend your money for the trip on yourselves not other people. The reception could be on a Sunday ,in our area that is more cost effective. That way your mom should be happy if you can invite more guests. That being said you know what your budjet is and if you are paying for the whole thing you need to set the guide lines . A wonderful honeymoon will be remembered longer than if a distant cousin is invited to the reception . On another note it can be hard to get every one on board at Disney -to show up for reservations ect. Maybe a later family reunion instead of a honeymoon would be better for that Good luck and enjoy hopefully this will be your only wedding Nan
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:34 PM   #6
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You just have to make up your mind do you want a larger group at your wedding than just get married at home. If you are happy with a chosen few that would be willing to pay the expense to be at your wedding get married in Disney. You just can't expect a lot of people to attend due to the expense and don't get offended if people can't attend.
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Old 05-03-2013, 02:45 PM   #7
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I agree that a bride /groom do not pay the expenses for their guests travel and accommodations for a destination wedding. I know several couples who have had small groups travel with them as the cost was prohibitive for many, then had a party / Open House back at home for those who could not make it. A much more casual affair to cover the need of inviting everyone. This way everyone who can afford to come with you gets the fun of Disney, and those left behind are still included.
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Old 05-03-2013, 04:29 PM   #8
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Very few brides & grooms pay anything towards guests transport/hotels for a wedding. These days half of your guests might need to travel even if your wedding is at home because family and friends can be spread out all over the place. If you want a Disney wedding then go for it and only invite the guests you want to be there. If your paying then have it your way. You don't want to regret your wedding day.
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Old 05-03-2013, 05:17 PM   #9
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You said you were an older bride-- then you waited to find your prince and you DID!!!! Thousands of congratulations. You also should know, especially if you're paying for your own wedding and nobody is helping you, you should get the wedding YOU want. If you and DF want Disney, you get Disney!!! You are under NO obligation to pay anyone else's expenses to attend your wedding, even if it's destination (that being said if I had a destination wedding and it was imperative to ME that someone be there and could legitimately not afford it I would probably try to help). It's your wedding. Don't let anyone (even your mom!) bully you.
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Old 05-04-2013, 12:59 PM   #10
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It is not customary for the hosts of the wedding (whether it is a parent or the couple themselves) to pay for any transport or lodging for a destination wedding. You are getting married the way you want. It's up to them to decide if it is something they want to participate. You wouldn't pay for someone out of state to come to a wedding at home, so why is a destination wedding different?

You can do a smaller wedding like the Escape package to save some money. That's what we are doing. I'm paying for our wedding all by myself and not paying a cent of my family's travel expenses. If you leave it to only close family, maybe that will help assuage the whole "you have to invite my uncle's step-daughter, twice removed who lives in Oregon' problem. Most people understand when it's immediate family. Nothing to say you can't have a big celebration party/reception after you get back (which is what we are doing).

When it comes down to it, it's your wedding. It's what you want. Do what makes you happy. Don't live in regret. I told my fiancé that if I got married anywhere else, I would always dream about what I could have had. We get married October 21 at the WP in a small Escape wedding, and I couldn't be happier!
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Old 05-04-2013, 04:22 PM   #11
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I don't think it's tacky at all....we are not paying for guests for my daughter's wedding next April. If they can come on their own---awesome !!! But if they can't afford it (either money or time off from work/school), then we completely understand and respect that.
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Old 05-04-2013, 05:36 PM   #12
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It's not tacky at all and not customary. But I think you should tell her it is tradition for the Bride's parents to foot the entire bill and if that includes paying for guests' travel costs, then so be it. I'm sure that'll quiet her down about it real quick.

You should have the wedding you want to have. It's your wedding day and it should be about what you and your fiancee want. The people that want to be there will be, and you just have to be understanding if people are unable or unwilling to attend because it is an additional expense for them.
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Old 05-04-2013, 08:16 PM   #13
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It is YOUR wedding, do what YOU want.....and as others have said, you are not responsible for paying for your guests' travel.
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Old 05-05-2013, 09:22 PM   #14
WDW_Diane
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lylone
to have a wedding at Disney and not pay for the guests to travel and stay at the resort?
I am an older bride and this is my first wedding and I would like to have a wedding at Disney a place my father loved. My dad passed away during college and my mom has offered NO help in the wedding expenses. She says that it is the bride's responsibility to pay for wedding and transportation when the family and guests have to travel to get to the wedding.
Well, we just don't have that kind of money to be flying folks from all over.
Would it be okay just to set a date way in the future and invite people if they want to come? Most of my family are okay with it as long as it is planned in advance, but then my mother has a different view and I am sure has her own list of people she wants to be there. I know this because she just made a stink that cousins she knows were not invited to another family member's wedding.

Or should we just have a courthouse wedding and then invite people to a reception at home?

thanks for the advice...
A friend's daughter who had a destination wedding had an interesting way to deal with this. She actually got married at home in her parent's backyard with a very simple ceremony before the destination wedding she wanted. That way, older relatives and others who didn't want to travel to the "destination" celebrated with them. I think they had a small reception too. The bride and groom went on to have the destination wedding they dreamed of, and their parents and close friends and family were there to share it with them a few day later. Having the legal wedding in their home state probably simplified things as well.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:12 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WDW_Diane View Post

A friend's daughter who had a destination wedding had an interesting way to deal with this. She actually got married at home in her parent's backyard with a very simple ceremony before the destination wedding she wanted. That way, older relatives and others who didn't want to travel to the "destination" celebrated with them. I think they had a small reception too. The bride and groom went on to have the destination wedding they dreamed of, and their parents and close friends and family were there to share it with them a few day later. Having the legal wedding in their home state probably simplified things as well.
That's one way you could do it. Although, I don't think it's all that complicated to have your legal wedding at Disney. We did all our license stuff via mail with Brevard County. To be honest, I think it was easier than the several trips to the local courthouse that would have been necessary at home.

Please post again and let us know what you decide!
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