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Old 05-02-2013, 06:00 PM   #46
mom2rtk
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I concur. This is definitely not the hill. Save your chips to play another day.

When my oldest was 19 he finally got it cut short again. Afterwards, I asked him why now finally. He said he dropped a pass playing street football because his hair got in the way. You just never know where that nudge is coming from. Odds are if it comes from you, it won't work.
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Old 05-02-2013, 06:05 PM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JKMJ441724 View Post
thanks for the post.

My son will be nine in a few days and we have the same fight with him. I call him Shaggy Jack at home or Bieber on the baseball field (makes him nuts in front of his friends). He goes to a private christian school so I asked his teacher "how long are y'all going to let his hair get before you make him get it cut?"

The teacher gave me a very confused look.
LOL at my kids school they actually do have a rule. It can't touch the collar of his shirt. DS12 pushes it to the max limit. He also has a bieberish flip, the principal (a nun) asks him if he lost an eye. We just got it cut today so it looks a little more 1940's.
However this is the same kid who had a 12 inch Mohawk in public school. He let it lay to the side when he first started at the Catholic school but they didn't say anything because they knew it would take time for the sides to grow out (it was shaved to skin).

Not a hill worth dying on, the hygiene is but not the cut.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:49 PM   #48
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I am so glad that our private school has rules in place. boys must have short natural colored hair. If it is below the eyebrows then they are sent home to get a haircut. Both of my boys like their short hair with a #2 on the sides. DS13 likes his a little longer on top but still short on the sides. DH is a policeman so high and tight is the only way to cut hair.

Now if I could just get them to shave everyday!
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Mine goes to a private school also and I'm surprised I haven't been called yet. I've been waiting... Hoping. . He is really pushing the boundaries with the school rules. He also likes wearing shirts that could technically get him in trouble if the teachers knew the bands, he just wears a zip up hoodie over them... Like he's trying to rebel but is afraid to.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:57 PM   #49
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If he keeps it clean and it isn't keeping him from any opportunities, let it go. His peers will eventually convince him to change it.
Or a girl

Went through it too (catholic/private school). It took a girl

ETA: That is truly the only nice thing I've ever said about her. Go figure. lol
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:58 PM   #50
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Really not the hill. It's just hair, however annoying it is.

And besides, you can always amuse yourself thinking about how he's going to look back and be mortified at those photos of him with stupid hair a few years from now.
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Old 05-02-2013, 08:59 PM   #51
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OP here!
I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with all this hair! I definitely have no intention of this really being my hill. I'm just feeling especially irritated with it lately. We are going on vacation soon and that hair will be in the pictures! he also plans on wearing jeans... In Florida, on the beach, in June.

I think I will try to get him to go to a salon. I've tried before and both times he was so picky and mad at me that you couldn't even tell he had his hair cut. He wouldn't let the girls take any length off! I tried explaining about split ends and taking a little length isn't a big deal. Gr.

All those with colorful children-a few summers ago he let me give him a faux hawk and we dyed it red. He hasn't asked to dye his hair again. I would have to take him to a salon. His hair is much darker now and I doubt my bleaching and dying abilities. I don't care about colors as long as it has a cut/style and is clean... His hair is simply THERE. Also, it would have to return to a natural color during the school year.

Thank you for letting me vent and commiserating with me!
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Old 05-02-2013, 09:39 PM   #52
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My son has super thick, super curly hair. He loves it long, but because it is so thick, he has issues getting it washed decently. I would try to compromise with him and let him keep it longer (4 inches or so long) IF I could wash it once a week. Even *I* had issues getting through all of that super thick curly hair.

He finally said that if he made the cheer squad he was going to get it buzzed.

Three days before the new cheer squad was announced, he had a super bad hair day. He could not do anything with it, and was really frustrated. I offered just to give him a buzz cut when he got home, and that is what we ended up doing.

When his hair was longer he would alternate between wearing a hat or fluffing it all out into a super fluffy afro.

I personally like the 1 1/2 on the sides and short scissor cut on the top. But he is going to be the mascot and wearing a heavy costume next year for cheer, so I think the short hair will be something he will have for a while.
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Old 05-02-2013, 11:02 PM   #53
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My son is 10 and has been wearing his hair long for the last 2 years until summer comes. He is on swim team, so I tell him he will either have to cut it or put it up in the cap like the girls do....it gets cut every summer!
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Old 05-03-2013, 01:58 AM   #54
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I agree it is not worth fussing about (so long as it is clean).

Have you tried dropping him off at a good salon (with an appointment and cell to call you when he is done)? Tell the stylist he can have whatever cut he wants and leave? So there is absolutely NO power struggle with you going on at the time. You might be surprised.

Or, it might take him a few trips with the stylist making recommendations before he gets comfortable with the idea of change. Their bodies are changing SO MUCH at that age that i think at times the thought of one more change, even hair, is too much for some kids.

My son found a stylist he likes. I stay out of it and let the two of them figure out styles.
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Old 05-03-2013, 08:54 AM   #55
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Originally Posted by *JoGo* View Post
OP here!
Mine goes to a private school also and I'm surprised I haven't been called yet. I've been waiting... Hoping. . He is really pushing the boundaries with the school rules. He also likes wearing shirts that could technically get him in trouble if the teachers knew the bands, he just wears a zip up hoodie over them... Like he's trying to rebel but is afraid to.
That sounds like a reasonable way to rebel as long as he keeps them covered.

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Or a girl

Went through it too (catholic/private school). It took a girl

ETA: That is truly the only nice thing I've ever said about her. Go figure. lol



Definitely not a hill though I understand your frustration! DD19 has gorgeous, long, thick naturally curly hair. However, she LOVES throwing it up in a messy bun. It's not particularly flattering to her and it drives me nuts because most of the time, it crosses that line from messy bun to bedhead bun. I try to tell her there is an art to the messy bun to keep it fashionable and not bedhead. She won't listen and I really, really have to bit my tongue sometimes. She got mad at me because she was heading to church(!) one day and it looked like she had slept in it, seriously. I accidentally gave her a horrified look.

So you're not alone! Girls have hair issues too. Thankfully DS10 can't stand it when his hair gets too long and likes it short so far. Plus I think he really likes the girls at Sports Cuts. Can you find a cute stylist to cut his hair? I bet she could talk him into something reasonable!
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Old 05-03-2013, 09:12 AM   #56
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I agree with this. It's just hair. Let it go.

For full disclosure: my 16yo DDs current hairstyle is a pixie cut, dyed bright purple. Last month it was bleached white, the month before that it was turquoise. She had it bleach blonde last month only because it was time for the dance recital, and I reminded her that I didn't think the studio director would appreciate turquoise hair for the show, so I insisted it had to be some 'semi natural' color. LOL. She did bleach it, and as soon as the recital was over, we colored it again.

I figure that if she doesn't have embarassing hair in her yearbook and school pictures, what fun will my grandchildren have taunting her?
DD's a dancer too, but she had to not only keep recital in mind, but she competative dances as well. Two years ago, she kept her hair her natural light brown, but put one big purple stripe in it. When we slicked back her hair into the bun, up close you could barely tell the difference in color. Last year, she wanted to go full red headed. Intense auburn was the color she chose. She's rocked that color for the last two competition seasons. And yes, you can tell she's a red head on stage, but it's not in your face fire engine red. During spring break, she was in MS with her girlfriend and came home a much lighter red head. Friends mom does hair and she lightened DD up and sent home the color mixes she used so we can get it touched up. Looks good on her.
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Old 05-03-2013, 09:24 AM   #57
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I am the odd ball here I guess because I would die on that hill before my son would have long hair. Collar length would be fine, but not shoulder or longer. Not while he is under my roof. I know its just hair but I hate long hair on guys. I always have.

My oldest daughter wanted to date a guy with long hair, but She knew how much I hated long hair so she convinced the kid to cut his hair before I even met him. This was a couple of years ago and he has never grown it out again. I guess he saw how much better he looked. Even his mother was thrilled!
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Old 05-03-2013, 10:55 AM   #58
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I would set up rules for him to be able to keep that hairstyle. If he can't or chooses not to abide by those hair rules, the long hair goes.

He needs to be showering & shampooing his hair daily. I would personally make him blowdry his hair every day because air-dried shaggy hair looks horrible. Make him go to the salon and get a "real" shaggy hairstyle rather than just let him grow it all out. If he can't keep it looking clean and nice, then he's not mature enough to have the hairstyle and needs to get it cut.
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Old 05-03-2013, 11:25 AM   #59
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No. Hair is NEVER the hill to die on. It's a phase he's going through, and for most teens hair is a big part of their identity. Just let it run its course.

FWIW I can't stand that shaggy look either. now I know how my grandparents must've felt watching my parents in the 60's...dang hippies. Get a haircut! But they all managed to survive and grow into productive healthy adults.

Let it go. The more of a deal you make of it, the more your son will dig his heels in over it.
This, this, THIS!!!

Let it go.

DS does have straight hair but not thick or thin. He let it grow. It was in his eyes. It looked horrible. It was his hair and I didn't say a word.

Last weekend he got a buzz cut. #6 blade = 3/4" long but still!!


Just keep in mind that you outgrew... what... did you have the "tail" or mullet from the 90's? Bed head in the late 90's/early 00's?

This, too, shall pass mama!
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Old 05-03-2013, 12:18 PM   #60
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I am the odd ball here I guess because I would die on that hill before my son would have long hair. Collar length would be fine, but not shoulder or longer. Not while he is under my roof. I know its just hair but I hate long hair on guys. I always have.

My oldest daughter wanted to date a guy with long hair, but She knew how much I hated long hair so she convinced the kid to cut his hair before I even met him. This was a couple of years ago and he has never grown it out again. I guess he saw how much better he looked. Even his mother was thrilled!
I am amazed that hair length was more important than character.

I can't imagine judging the boy and girlfriends of my kids son such a shallow level.
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