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Old 04-28-2013, 06:38 AM   #16
Mkrop
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I think it is for everything anymore, people want to wait until the last minute. We cant get people to tell us if they are coming to baseball games that they signed up for!

I would definitely include email or do an Evite next time.

But I also think phones are the worst, because people read them on their phone, get distracted and than never get back to RSVPing.

I call people, I dont care, bc I am not paying a fortune to try and guess if your kid is coming or not
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Old 04-28-2013, 06:51 AM   #17
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Do YOU actually know all 25 kids and their parents? I am sorry...and I understand completely the *rule* that invite going thru school HAS to go to the whole class. BUT.. If I do not know YOU and I do not know YOUR child, while rude...it is not on the top of my list to RSVP. My kids are Middle School, High School and College now...but even when they were much younger I felt the same.

As with everyone.. we are all busy...I get an invite from the kids backpack...sometimes a few days AFTER they got it, because I was never a Mom who searched the backpacks everyday.

We look at the invite, I ask who is this kid? My kid responds back with some kid in my class. Oh, OK I say and then I think to myself let me check the calendar to see if I can make this work...Well, guess what. It goes in my brain.. out the brain and I completely forget.. why... because I do not know you and it just is not important to me.

Yes, rude..but I am just trying to explain at least my point. My kids always had home parties with a small handful of friends that I personally knew and my kids played with all the time.. I never had party issues.
Is that an excuse for being impolite? It may not be important to you, but it's important to the child and the parent. Is it really that taxing to call yes or no? Yes, you are rit it is rude and you should try to make an effort not to be instead of making excuses. My kids are college, high school and one ten year old (six in total) and I always responded either way because it was nice of them to invite my child and it took a minute.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:04 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by kacaju View Post
Do YOU actually know all 25 kids and their parents? I am sorry...and I understand completely the *rule* that invite going thru school HAS to go to the whole class. BUT.. If I do not know YOU and I do not know YOUR child, while rude...it is not on the top of my list to RSVP. My kids are Middle School, High School and College now...but even when they were much younger I felt the same.

As with everyone.. we are all busy...I get an invite from the kids backpack...sometimes a few days AFTER they got it, because I was never a Mom who searched the backpacks everyday.

We look at the invite, I ask who is this kid? My kid responds back with some kid in my class. Oh, OK I say and then I think to myself let me check the calendar to see if I can make this work...Well, guess what. It goes in my brain.. out the brain and I completely forget.. why... because I do not know you and it just is not important to me.

Yes, rude..but I am just trying to explain at least my point. My kids always had home parties with a small handful of friends that I personally knew and my kids played with all the time.. I never had party issues.
This is incredibly rude!
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:08 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by dogluva View Post
Is that an excuse for being impolite? It may not be important to you, but it's important to the child and the parent. Is it really that taxing to call yes or no? Yes, you are rit it is rude and you should try to make an effort not to be instead of making excuses. My kids are college, high school and one ten year old (six in total) and I always responded either way because it was nice of them to invite my child and it took a minute.
People that are rude always try to find a way to justify it in their own minds so they don't think they are rude!
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:10 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by kacaju View Post
Do YOU actually know all 25 kids and their parents? I am sorry...and I understand completely the *rule* that invite going thru school HAS to go to the whole class. BUT.. If I do not know YOU and I do not know YOUR child, while rude...it is not on the top of my list to RSVP. My kids are Middle School, High School and College now...but even when they were much younger I felt the same.

As with everyone.. we are all busy...I get an invite from the kids backpack...sometimes a few days AFTER they got it, because I was never a Mom who searched the backpacks everyday.

We look at the invite, I ask who is this kid? My kid responds back with some kid in my class. Oh, OK I say and then I think to myself let me check the calendar to see if I can make this work...Well, guess what. It goes in my brain.. out the brain and I completely forget.. why... because I do not know you and it just is not important to me.

Yes, rude..but I am just trying to explain at least my point. My kids always had home parties with a small handful of friends that I personally knew and my kids played with all the time.. I never had party issues.
OP, this is your answer right here, in part. What I would call younger people who are now raising our next generation are rude and self serving and are lacking in manners. The thing is, like in the above post, they know it and really don't care. You see, they have been taught that they are special. It will be interesting to see how the children that they are raising turn out. My guess is that thank you cards will soon be a thing of the past.

Last edited by Art 1; 04-28-2013 at 07:16 AM.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:17 AM   #21
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What I would call younger people who are now raising our next generation are rude and self serving and have no manners. The thing is, like in the above post, they know it and really don't care.
I agree.

There have always been people that have no manners, and admit it. Where previously people might feel guilty about it, I agree that the 'not caring' about it is relatively new and from what I can see, very widespread.
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:44 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by Art 1 View Post

OP, this is your answer right here, in part. What I would call younger people who are now raising our next generation are rude and self serving and are lacking in manners. The thing is, like in the above post, they know it and really don't care. You see, they have been taught that they are special. It will be interesting to see how the children that they are raising turn out. My guess is that thank you cards will soon be a thing of the past.
I thought this too. It's "My life is more important than your life and you don't matter". Rude and then to admit to being rude. I am not scared because I teach and have seen a huge decline in manners in both kids and children. Parents just show up to Parent teacher conferences when they feel like it even thought they have an appointment, walk into the school and don't check into the office, demand to speak to teachers, yell at staff, etc. twenty years ago, this wasn't the case. The kids don't have a clue about basic manners like holding a door for the person behind you, saying no thank you, and it is not their fault because their parents don't have any manners or consideration for anyone else. Not all people and kids are ill mannered and it is like a breath of fresh air when you meet those that have respect for other people. Thanks, rant over!
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:46 AM   #23
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I'll post a flip side for weird/rude party etiquette......

2 weeks ago my 10 year old son came home with an invitation he got in school on a Friday, for a party the following day for a fellow grade buddy.

When he got home, he forgot about it & I had no idea of any invite.

Saturday AM the mom texted me asking if we were coming. I was like huh? Went to look in the bookbag & there it was unopened. My son was like oh yeah I got an invite......The RSVP said to do so the previous WEDNESDAY. So, my son was 2nd ( or 3rd ) string invite, and when enough kids couldn't attend, they quick did round 2 of kids....We couldn't go anyway....

I just thought that was weird......Also VERY last minute. Would have been happy to go if it was given to us BEFORE the RSVP, I would have had no idea we were 2nd best guests.....Also would have been able to rearrange our plans...
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Old 04-28-2013, 07:51 AM   #24
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Originally Posted by kacaju View Post
Do YOU actually know all 25 kids and their parents? I am sorry...and I understand completely the *rule* that invite going thru school HAS to go to the whole class. BUT.. If I do not know YOU and I do not know YOUR child, while rude...it is not on the top of my list to RSVP. My kids are Middle School, High School and College now...but even when they were much younger I felt the same.

As with everyone.. we are all busy...I get an invite from the kids backpack...sometimes a few days AFTER they got it, because I was never a Mom who searched the backpacks everyday.

We look at the invite, I ask who is this kid? My kid responds back with some kid in my class. Oh, OK I say and then I think to myself let me check the calendar to see if I can make this work...Well, guess what. It goes in my brain.. out the brain and I completely forget.. why... because I do not know you and it just is not important to me.

Yes, rude..but I am just trying to explain at least my point. My kids always had home parties with a small handful of friends that I personally knew and my kids played with all the time.. I never had party issues.
Wow. Well, at least you admit that you are completely rude.

Whole-class invitations are very common where we live for younger elementary-school aged children. At that age most kids usually have a blast doing something fun together, even if they aren't all best friends.

Just because YOU didn't do large parties for your kids does not mean that others who do don't deserve a quick response from the invitees. And yes, I realize that isn't what you wrote, but it certainly is what you implied.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:16 AM   #25
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I agree that it's very rude not to respond to an invitation. Thankfully my kids are teenagers now, so no more big birthday parties. We had a couple of bad moments due to the lack of RSVP's, including one party where one kid showed up (it was held in a community play area). I thought it was because DD's birthday is at Christmas, but lo-and-behold the next year she had a party at an indoor swimming pool (this was in Alaska, swimming was a rare activity) and every single kid invited showed up. I guess we just weren't providing enough entertainment value.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:20 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by tuckerkeys View Post
I'll post a flip side for weird/rude party etiquette......

2 weeks ago my 10 year old son came home with an invitation he got in school on a Friday, for a party the following day for a fellow grade buddy.

When he got home, he forgot about it & I had no idea of any invite.

Saturday AM the mom texted me asking if we were coming. I was like huh? Went to look in the bookbag & there it was unopened. My son was like oh yeah I got an invite......The RSVP said to do so the previous WEDNESDAY. So, my son was 2nd ( or 3rd ) string invite, and when enough kids couldn't attend, they quick did round 2 of kids....We couldn't go anyway....

I just thought that was weird......Also VERY last minute. Would have been happy to go if it was given to us BEFORE the RSVP, I would have had no idea we were 2nd best guests.....Also would have been able to rearrange our plans...
That is just wrong! DD was invited to a party at her new school. She said she wasn't sure she wanted to go because she didn't know the girl well, but felt she should because the other girl didn't have many friends and she was worried no one would show up. DD told her she could come, and the girl said she would need to leave at 7 p.m. because most of the other girls were spending the night, but DD wasn't invited for that. We re-RSVP's no thank you.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:23 AM   #27
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I also dont understand , the "I dont know you" so you are meaningless to me and my family or "I dont Know you" so you are not important enough for me to remember to RSVP. My kids have had good friends but they also have added different friends or changed friends all togehter. So the kid whose party you blow off in 2nd grade could be your child's BFF in 3rd, are they only significant enough to you when they actually become friends
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:23 AM   #28
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Are they so busy that they can't take a minute out of their day to do so? Today we celebrated my DD's 7th birthday at the clubhouse down the street. All her classmates live in the same neighborhood. Out of 25 kids in her class, only 7 came. Only two parents called me, I had to email the rest. It just seems like not many kids go to parties nowadays. I've seen that at parties my DD goes to.
I stopped having "parties" and instead had my dd's invite close friends for sleepovers, movie & dinner dates, etc... when they got older.

Makes life easier.

By middle school, my dd was going to parties without invites. At that point I gave up and let her handle who I was hosting.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:30 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by tuckerkeys View Post
I'll post a flip side for weird/rude party etiquette......

2 weeks ago my 10 year old son came home with an invitation he got in school on a Friday, for a party the following day for a fellow grade buddy.

When he got home, he forgot about it & I had no idea of any invite.

Saturday AM the mom texted me asking if we were coming. I was like huh? Went to look in the bookbag & there it was unopened. My son was like oh yeah I got an invite......The RSVP said to do so the previous WEDNESDAY. So, my son was 2nd ( or 3rd ) string invite, and when enough kids couldn't attend, they quick did round 2 of kids....We couldn't go anyway....

I just thought that was weird......Also VERY last minute. Would have been happy to go if it was given to us BEFORE the RSVP, I would have had no idea we were 2nd best guests.....Also would have been able to rearrange our plans...
No offense intended but are you sure your son just received the invite the day before? My ds was aces at getting an invite and forgetting about it. I was not a check the backpack daily mom so things got missed. DS could also be less than truthful when confronted about something like that.

I'm not so sure I'd be quick to blame the host, but that's me.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:36 AM   #30
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No offense intended but are you sure your son just received the invite the day before? My ds was aces at getting an invite and forgetting about it. I was not a check the backpack daily mom so things got missed. DS could also be less than truthful when confronted about something like that.

I'm not so sure I'd be quick to blame the host, but that's me.
My BFF had a birthday party at a local fitness center for her DS and invited all the boys in the class via a paper postcard that the teachers handed out. She had a decent turnout but there were many who did not RSVP either way.

So I drop my DS off to the pary, hang out for a bit, then go to run some errands. I go out to the parking lot and getting out of their car is one of the classmates and his family. I tell them where the party was cause it was in a weird spot in the center. They looked at me like I had three heads. Turns out they were there to swim. They had no idea that J had been invited to this party. J admitted in the parking lot that the invite had been sitting in his folder the whole time. J actually joined the party and had a great time.

Thank goodness I knew the whole class of boys was invited or I could have wound up putting my foot in my mouth.
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