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Old 04-26-2013, 09:33 PM   #106
PrincessKsMom

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Oh we know. They're usually looking up or in awe around, they're dressed differently and don't walk on the right side of the street or get out of the way fast enough. Lots of stuff!



Love that NY sarcasm!!
Mine comes from 25 years of working in NYC, so while I'm not technically a New Yorker and I'm from NJ, I think I might get a pass.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:49 PM   #107
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Yes, the surgery only addresses some aspects of a very complex medical issue.

However, in my experience, the surgery helped me to overcome constant hunger (both physical and mental) and be satisfied with healthy portions of food. Because I had the physical saiety, I was able to learn to distinguish between actual hunger and "head" hunger, e.g. eating from habit because it's time for a meal; eating because I was bored, lonely, tired, depressed, or stressed; or eating because of thirst. I lost weight. I lost enough weight to resolve issues with sleep apnea, which consequently, helped to resolve long fatigue. Since I was not constantly fatigued, I became more active. As my activity increased, my energy increased and I started to exercise regularly. Regular exercise helped my knees, so I was no longer in pain. The increased activity and healthy diet lowered my blood sugar, blood pressure and cholesterol levels.

The surgery was the beginning point which made all of the other changes possible to attain and to maintain. I am very thankful that I had the surgery; because of the surgery, I was able to change my life.
Exactly on point! I have gained and lost and gained again. I wasn't always this way. I didn't start gaining until after Christian was born. I am currently very overweight and I hate it. I hate being hungry ALL the time. I mean all the time. I even dream about eating and shopping for food. I know why I eat. I'd had therapy. Didn't help with eating, although it has helped in other areas. I have a lot of depression and anxiety. I bite my nails to the point that I no longer have nails; the nailbeds are totally exposed. I hate the way I look but frankly, even if I lost 40-lbs I would still be fat. I will never look normal.



I have considered getting gastric bypass. I would qualify. But I'm scared. Scared I'll die, scared I will switch addictions, sad that I will no longer be able to eat comfort foods. I am eating myself to death and I can't seem to stop it.


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Everyone needs food, but nobody needs garbage foods. Eat whole foods and nothing more. You will be healthy, thin and live longer.

How about sex addiction? Tiger Woods? boo hoo.

More excuses.
I find your attitude flippant and condescending. You obviously have no idea. Eating whole foods and nothing more--BTDT. I spent 2 years on a medically supervised weight loss program, seeing my bariatric specialist every week. I lost about 50-lbs and I still hated my body. I have never felt so deprived in my life and once the depression set it, it was over. I have regained about 40-lbs and I'm having a very hard time getting motivated to get back on that train.

Perhaps you could attend a few 12-step meetings. Doesn't matter if it's AA, NA, CA or OA. It's all addiction and it's EXTREMELY hard to break it. You might gain some insight.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:52 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by PrincessKsMom

Mine comes from 25 years of working in NYC, so while I'm not technically a New Yorker and I'm from NJ, I think I might get a pass.
I was born in Brooklyn (hi Robin!), live in Queens and have worked in Manhattan for 30 years. You can just tell.
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Old 04-26-2013, 09:57 PM   #109
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I'm asking because I really don't know....

Is there truly anyone for whom diet and exercise won't work and therefore they have to have weight loss surgery in order to lose weight?

The point of weight loss surgery is to physically limit the amount of food one can take in. Food can also be limited just by not eating it. So why is surgery needed?

FTR - I know of 2 people that have had weight loss surgery. One died a few days later in the hospital and the other doesn't look like he's lost any weight (he may have actually lost weight but to my eye he looks about the same size).
What a loaded and provocative question!! I'm 47 and could stand to ditch 10 lbs. I've exercised all my life, and these pounds have crept up in the last 4 yrs. I think yes, weight loss surgery is necessary for some people. I'm guessing they have an addiction to food, which as many people have pointed out, is markedly different than an addiction to druigs, drinking, or cigarettes.

A food addiction would be more like an addiction to oxygen or water; you can't live without it. Anyway, many years ago, I realized I can't really speak about things I don't know about. I.e. I subbed in a special needs elementary school classroom. One child had fried chicken drumsticks in his lunch everyday. Not my problem, not my business. He was probably in the middle of the autism scale, and his mother and grandmother prepared his favorite food everyday. Don't misunderstand; I'm not in any way comparing him to someone with a food addiction. Rather, I just accepted that would be his lunch everyday, without questioning it. Because I knew nothing about his situation, I assumed his family was choosing an appropriate option for him. Same thing with weight loss surgery. I know nothing about it, so I'm assuming people are making the appropriate choioce for themselves. I think we all need to acknowledge what we do know, and what we don't, and let things be.
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Old 04-26-2013, 10:04 PM   #110
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I work with someone who wanted to get gastric bypass, but she had to lose a certain amount before insurance would cover it. Like everything else in her life, she couldn't do it. She has no control over anything in her life. She's has financial problems, has issues with her young son, is late to work when she actually comes in, isn't responsible for anything, etc. She has excuses for EVERYTHING. She weighs almost 300 lbs but eats whatever she wants. She doesn't understand why her life is such a mess. It's pretty simple to those who see her daily. She has stunted emotional growth. She really never grew up. I need to lose about 30 lbs and I walk almost everyday, eat salads, fish, oatmeal, etc. She eats lots of things she shouldn't and never gets up from her desk if she doesn't have to. Her problems weren't done to her, even though she'd like to blame everything except herself. She's 48 and loves to tell everyone that her blood pressure is good, cholestorol is normal, etc. No one believes her. She lies about everything My point is, having seen someone who needs to lose weight, wants the surgery, etc, I see the reality. She is fooling herself. She needs to fix her life and then maybe she can work on the rest. Her parents and siblings are not overweight like she is. I just shake my head when I watch her eat. The fact is, she's sabotaging herself.
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Old 04-27-2013, 09:13 PM   #111
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I think it's something that completely depends on the person. Some people have other issues, depression, etc. that makes it hard to get motivated to lose the weight. Some people may choose it as an easy fix.

Nothing is an easy fix when it comes to weight loss. Any way you look at it, it's hard work.

It's easy to sit there and talk about how much you think you know about it and how people need to just help themselves or change their lifestyles. Changing your lifestyle isn't easy. I've lost weight and gained weight and, for the moment, am losing a few pounds and okay with where I am.

Whether I'm at my lightest or heaviest doesn't really change me inside. I am still who I am. For people to spout on and about how they blahblahblah without living in the skin, so to speak, is ridiculous.

What do you know about it? Oh, that's right, nothing except that YOU think you need to tell other people how much YOU know about something YOU have never dealt with. Spare me.

It's like me talking about how people who are bald should just suck it up. Or saying that people who elect to have plastic surgery shouldn't do it because the risk isn't worth the fix. I'm not the one with the honkin' big nose or flat chest that I can't stand to deal with. I'm not the one who feels 20 years older because I have no hair.

These are all personal experiences and to read people quacking away righteously about something they never dealt with themselves, well
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Old 04-27-2013, 09:59 PM   #112
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There's a difference between outsider and complete stranger. My doctor can give me advice, whether solicited or not. My family, as well. However, it's offensive for someone who has never met me or interacted with me to walk up to me and give me advice, whether it be my weight, how I dress, or how I raise my children.
I had someone come up to me at the Magic Kingdom, and tell me how great Weight Watchers is! I guess she saw this fat chick sitting outside of a shop and thought she would "help"

I was shocked and had to put it out of my head so it didn't ruin my day.
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:03 PM   #113
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Originally Posted by disneychick0412

I had someone come up to me at the Magic Kingdom, and tell me how great Weight Watchers is! I guess she saw this fat chick sitting outside of a shop and thought she would "help"

I was shocked and had to put it out of my head so it didn't ruin my day.
Some people have a lot of nerve!
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Old 04-27-2013, 10:09 PM   #114
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Some people have a lot of nerve!
ITA. I'm sure she is a woman who "speaks her mind" and always "speaks the truth" too.

That's code for cold stone chrome plated witch.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:30 AM   #115
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Exactly on point! I have gained and lost and gained again. I wasn't always this way. I didn't start gaining until after Christian was born. I am currently very overweight and I hate it. I hate being hungry ALL the time. I mean all the time. I even dream about eating and shopping for food. I know why I eat. I'd had therapy. Didn't help with eating, although it has helped in other areas. I have a lot of depression and anxiety. I bite my nails to the point that I no longer have nails; the nailbeds are totally exposed. I hate the way I look but frankly, even if I lost 40-lbs I would still be fat. I will never look normal.



I have considered getting gastric bypass. I would qualify. But I'm scared. Scared I'll die, scared I will switch addictions, sad that I will no longer be able to eat comfort foods. I am eating myself to death and I can't seem to stop it.




I find your attitude flippant and condescending. You obviously have no idea. Eating whole foods and nothing more--BTDT. I spent 2 years on a medically supervised weight loss program, seeing my bariatric specialist every week. I lost about 50-lbs and I still hated my body. I have never felt so deprived in my life and once the depression set it, it was over. I have regained about 40-lbs and I'm having a very hard time getting motivated to get back on that train.

Perhaps you could attend a few 12-step meetings. Doesn't matter if it's AA, NA, CA or OA. It's all addiction and it's EXTREMELY hard to break it. You might gain some insight.
I find your attitude flippant and condescending so I guess we are even. How do you know what I've been through or seen first hand? I'm giving my opinion and advice for what worked for me or others I know. Feel free to put me on ignore. I'd appreciate it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 08:47 AM   #116
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There is no one solution to weight issues as there is no one cause of weight issues and any advice is useless until the cause is addressed. And yes, obesity is the only human condition that it is still permissible to discriminate against and disrespect.
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Old 04-28-2013, 09:16 AM   #117
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It's easy to sit there and talk about how much you think you know about it and how people need to just help themselves or change their lifestyles. Changing your lifestyle isn't easy.
But you have just hit on a big reason why the childhood obesity epidemic is so important and why it is up to the current generation of parents to stop it. Changing habits is much harder to do if they are ingrained in you when you are young. I've personally never found change hard in anything. Not my personal habits or my professional life. In many ways I actually like change which is probably why I got into such a fast changing industry. But I realize that isn't necessarily true for everyone.

As we've seen from many of the people who have posted about their troubles here, and in a much more honest way than the vast majority of weight-related threads, there is an ingrained way of looking at food that is part of the obesity epidemic. It is the mental aspect of the epidemic as opposed to the poor diet and lack of exercise part. Using food for comfort or as a friend is not a healthy way to look at food in my opinion but that is pretty common with overweight people trying to lose weight in my experience. As adults it is harder if you have lived your whole life using food for comfort to change that but I feel it is important, if you are a parent, not to pass that same outlook to your children. It is a cycle and it will be just as hard for them to change that outlook 10 or 20 years down the road as it is for you now. Why set them off on that path?

If little Johnny or Suzzie see mom or dad grab the ice cream every time they are stressed that is what is learned. If they are rewarded or punished with food all the time as opposed to occasionally food starts to be seen as reward and punishment. Someone has to break the cycle that is going on and I hope it is my generation. The statistics are not promising at the moment but it is within our power to change it. I think it is both sad and irresponsible to teach our children bad habits that will very likely kill them instead of choosing to break the bad habits ourselves even if it is a very hard thing to do. We have been doing hard things for centuries, reversing the obesity epidemic shouldn't be viewed as impossible.

In the end we can argue back and forth here, make excuses, and ignore the growing problem or we can look in the mirror and decide what we want to do for either ourselves or our children. I hope that in the future weight loss surgery becomes less and less frequent. Not because I think there is anything inherently wrong with it, quite the opposite, but that we reverse the epidemic and have less people who reach the point to find it necessary.

I look forward to the pile on and hearing why I am wrong.

Last edited by FireDancer; 04-28-2013 at 09:23 AM.
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Old 04-28-2013, 12:35 PM   #118
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You are right. Cycles need to be broken, but if cycles were easily broken we wouldn't have a lot of the issues we have as a society. Cycles are cycles for a reason. If mom is overweight, depressed and in physical pain because of either or both, going out to run around with jimmy isn't going to happen. Not because she is a crappy mom or less evolved than you but because that is just too much. It is a mess too large for the dis for certain.
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Old 04-28-2013, 01:00 PM   #119
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i find your attitude flippant and condescending so i guess we are even. How do you know what i've been through or seen first hand? I'm giving my opinion and advice for what worked for me or others i know. Feel free to put me on ignore. I'd appreciate it.
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Old 04-28-2013, 02:20 PM   #120
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With the increasing obesity rates, nearly anything a person chooses to do in order to address their own problem should be considered a positive. Some people choose to change their lifestyle. Some follow commercial weight loss programs. Others turn to weight loss surgery. If someone feels that surgery is the best approach for them, I'm not going to question it. More power to them for making a solid attempt to be healthy!
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