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Old 04-22-2013, 08:36 AM   #31
Granny square
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Originally Posted by DLgal View Post
Your experience is very typical. I am so glad we are well past those days.

Some people love having babies, and everything about that time, but not us! DH and I realized that we are not "baby people" and we had a couple of disastrous "trips" when our boys were little. Our first GOOD family vacation was when we went to WDW and our kids were almost 6 and 4. It was still exhausting, but it was tons better than even the short 1-3 night mini vacations we'd tried in the earlier days.

It is a difficult adjustment from being an independent adult who can do whatever you want, to having to cater everything to the little ones in your life. Kids take over, and for the first several years, it's hard! Once they get to be KIDS though, and are past the baby/toddler stage, things fall into place and you don't feel as thought every single decision you make is based on their needs. You get to actually have vacations, and you get to actually do stuff that you want to do too.

Hang in there!
That is true. I thought babies were easy to travel with, but I had pretty easy babies. My BFF has one who could never tolerate travel, or not being with mom. From birth on.

I love teens. They are articulate and fun. I think this is my favorite stage.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:07 AM   #32
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I guess we were lucky. Our kids traveled well from the get go. Though we never included a time change in our plans.

Will they not sleep at the beach? We used to rent a cabana and they would bring a crib to the cabana. That was nice because even if they needed a nap we could continue enjoying our time.
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Old 04-22-2013, 09:41 AM   #33
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Wow. You all have been so kind and supportive. I really appreciate that.

Bumbershoot is right on with so much about my baby. She only wants me, won't even take a bottle, preferring her milk right from the source. I can nurse her to sleep & sneak away for 10-15 minutes tops & then she'll wake up frantically crying for me. My older daughter was like this too, so I knew that I was going to be pretty much sole caregiver of the baby for at least the first year or two.

We are a two mom family and my wife really is understanding about my stress & sadness about the trip. She has taken the baby during a couple morning naps so I could go to the pool with my older daughter. That has been great, but I've been distracted knowing that baby will be crying herself to sleep and if I was there for her nap, that wouldn't be happening.

I was the one who encouraged my wife to site see. I didn't want both of us to loose out on our vacation. She did offer to take both kids tomorrow morning so I could have a massage, but the spa is booked.

The baby cries in the car seat at home too. It's awful and I really don't think there's a solution. I actually wonder if she feels sick in the car or if she's upset that I'm not holding her. My older daughter cried in the car seat until the day we turned her around to face forward. Then she was fine. The baby is a lap child on the plane, so aside from being a little cranky because she was bored, she was fine.

I'm feeling a bit better tonight. We splurged on dinner at AMA AMA (yum) where the baby knocked a full glass of water on me & the 3 yr old stole my dessert. Our server was fantastic, cleaned everything up & brought me a free dessert. We then walked on the beach during a beautiful sunset & the baby fell asleep in the wrap. My wife took my older daughter up to the room & I got some time to wander & relax while the baby slept.

Tomorrow is our last day & we have a cabana by the pool for the whole day. I'm planning on parking myself there & having the kids nap in the cabana while I enjoy the sun, view & adult beverages.

Thanks for the reassurance that it gets better. I told my wife tonight that I want to wait to come back to Hawaii until the baby is old enough to go to the kid's club for a few hours. This has absolutely been a "trip" not a vacation,but we've still had fun moments & I know I'll eventually look back at the pictures and love that my young kids got to go to such an awesome place.
*gentle pat pat*

I'm sorry I hope the cabana is lovely
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Old 04-22-2013, 10:18 AM   #34
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This is why cruises are a great idea for people with young children aged 2-3+. They have built in daycare, so you get to spend adult time, while they can be a kid.
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Old 04-22-2013, 04:55 PM   #35
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Sorry it was not what you hoped. We took our 7 month old to Aulani last spring and it was an amazing vacation. he just napped in the stroller every afternoon by the pool and we sent ODS to the kids club so we had an hour or 2 of peace and quiet.

I hope tomorrow goes smoother for you.
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Old 04-22-2013, 05:32 PM   #36
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This is why some people don't travel with their kids. Period.

I got lucky and my first born has been super easy child, which ended up being a huge blessing, because DH was stationed overseas without us from the 3rd through the 9th month of his life. We took a family trip together right before he left to Disney, and while we were exhausted, we needed the time together.
Then I got the lovely responsibility of traveling with a 9 month old by myself on a 14 hour flight. I have SOOO much respect for the people I met who did the same thing with multiple kids.

Since then...we've done...
a beach vacation in the Philippines -where DS's eczema flared up really bad and DH got an awful sunburn, because he refused to put on sunscreen.

2 trips back to the States because I had dying grandfathers - DH came on one, but I took DS alone on the other. At least, in this case, we were traveling to family, so there were days when I hardly saw DS at all.

Then...we just got back from Disney, which is unequivocally the easiest vacation I can see doing with kids, because I know it. It's still hard, but it's comforting to know that we've gone in the past, and will go again in the future.

At some point, you start thinking in contingencies. It's definitely hard when there are so many interesting things to see, but it's a matter of really examining the trip you want to have and what you can reasonably expect to happen. Even then there are no guarantees with kids.

I've made the determination that we won't go overseas (probably more than a 6 hour time difference) with young kids unless we can afford to stay for at least 2 weeks (the jet lag isn't worth less than that). Even then, we won't move around much. We'll pick one location and soak up as much of it as possible with one or two day trips elsewhere.

Being a parent is hard sometimes, but it's soo worth it.
DS needed the undivided attention from his Daddy when we took him to Disney at 3 months old.
He LOVED playing on the beach in the Philippines when he was 16 months old.
It meant a lot to my whole family when I came back for those awful life events at 18 months and 24 months.
And taking him to Disney at 33 months was worth every babbling word and bright look on his face.

DH wants another one, and I've definitely considered how it's going to effect our traveling. It won't be the end of the world if we don't get a real vacation for another 20 years though.
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Old 04-22-2013, 05:58 PM   #37
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Traveling with kids is tough.

Last year we went on our first vacation in three years (to WDW, of course!). It was with three kids--9, 4, and almost 2. My oldest has anxiety issues and was scared to leave the resort room (except to go swimming); the 2 year old was clingy and crabby. It seemed like only one enjoying herself was DD4. We ended up cancelling dinner reservations I made 6 months ahead because it would have been no fun to chase the toddler around while the 9 year old sulked.

That said, they're all asking when we get to go to Disney World again.
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:05 PM   #38
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It does get better, I promise.

My first 2 babies were all strictly breast fed. No bottles. So they were with me 24/7. My 3rd was only for the first 6 weeks because I got a post partum DVT that almost killed me and was in the ICU for 2 weeks and my husband had to FF. But even with that, my 3rd was also with me 24/7. lol All 3 were mama babies. Now at 13 (tomorrow!!), 7 and 3, they are so independent and I can leave them to do adult things.

It will happen for you too.
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Old 04-22-2013, 06:27 PM   #39
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Okay, here's where I think you did yourself in- You are attempting to have an adult style vacation with small children.

It is absolutely possible to have a grand and glorious vacation with little ones, but you have to completely change your head space about what "grand and glorious" means.

I had some trouble making that adjustment in the first few years of parenting and what I came out with was the viewpoint that a vacation with little kids simply has to be built around them and their schedules rather than my pre-conceived notions about how things are done or how I've always done them. Once you get used to the idea that the vacation style is going to be totally different than you're used to it becomes easier to embrace the changes. Worst case scenario, they don't stay little forever. Adult vacations and schedules will return. For now, just try to figure out what Baby Style Hawaii looks like and go with that.
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:00 PM   #40
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I disagree with everyone about waiting to take kids until they are older - I think you can have fun on trips with babies and toddlers too! I completely feel the OP's pain - my 16 month old DD is not the easiest person to travel with! But I think you have to adjust your expectations. I assume that she might be thrown off her schedule when we travel, and I plan for that. OP, I hope this trip helps you plan for future trips, now that you know how your kids deal with large time changes, etc.
Yeah, but sometimes "adjusting your expectations" also means adjusting your destination as well as the duration of your trips. OP found some things that could be real helpful to anyone thinking of attempting such a trip. Specifically: A big time zone change could create a big headache - something I admittedly might not have considered. And the logistics of going SO far from home to a place that is really all about the adults ('cause let's face it, to a toddler the beach is the beach and Hawaii is no better than anywhere else with sand) can make things worse.

And if nothing else, for those who are determined to incorporate travel into their lives with small children, maybe a trial run on a shorter, closer to home destination should be in order before biting off on something more exotic. In our case, a 2-hour car ride to my aunt's house told me everything I needed to know about the potential for travel with our kids when they were babies. NO GO
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Old 04-22-2013, 07:27 PM   #41
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Partially because of finances and partially because of grandparents wanting to see the kids, we really only traveled to visit family when the kids were really little. It was great because then we had some babysitters available and they usually shooed us out to go out for dinner etc.

Our oldest didn't travel well at all. Our younger child was much more laid back about everything. Every child is different.
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Old 04-22-2013, 08:41 PM   #42
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How sweet that your wife is so understanding! I know it is so hard when they are young, but a friend once told me "this is just a season" and I try to remember that. When my first two were your little ones ages, travel made me a LUNATIC. I just wanted/ longed for vacations that I had pre babies. I hadn't come to grips with the fact that life was just not going to be like that for a little while. So it was hard. By the time number three came along, I had adjusted my expectations a lot regarding vacations and so I actually started having a much better time. In truth, they still had the same difficulties, but I think I saw the light at the end of the tunnel and was able to relax more and thus we all had more fun. Plus we started traveling with family who help us out a little! Anyway, hang in there, hope the cabana is wonderful and have a great big adult beverage.
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Old 04-23-2013, 06:19 AM   #43
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Oh no thats hard going for you! I hope Dad is pitching in too! I have been so lucky with my 6 - we travelled with my youngest child when he was only 6 weeks old and stayed at WDW for 3 weeks - as well as with my older 5 at the time ranging from 14 to 2 years! They were all a dream and we had yet another fab trip to WDW!
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Old 04-23-2013, 01:36 PM   #44
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We've been traveling with the kids since they were each 6 weeks old. My 3yr old is a great traveler, she's just a typical 3 yr old who gets overwhelmed & tired around nap time. Nothing unusual about that.

The baby is actually easier to travel with b/c she can still be picked up & just taken someplace we want to go. She doesn't get an option, unlike my older child who has definite opinions!

I actually don't think I was unreasonable in my hopes for this trip. Nor did I think it would be like our adults only trips we did pre-kids. I wanted to play on the beach, swim in the pool & be outside as much as possible. That's it. The two days we rented the cabana by the pool, I was able to do that b/c I could close up 3 sides of the cabana & the kids napped while I still got to view the ocean. Those two days were the best.

The days that weren't great where when we ignored my older daughter's nap time resulting in meltdown or when the kids slept from 12-4pm in the room, leaving me stuck staring at the ocean.

All in all, it was a good trip and as we are packing up to go home today, I'm looking forward to coming back. I think we're going to wait 3 years though, so both kids can go to the kid's club.
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Old 04-23-2013, 02:04 PM   #45
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That is exactly why I would never plunk down that type of money with young kids. Heck, my girls just turned 5 and I still wouldn't do it. But yes, like someone said, you are in Hawaii. I am at my desk at work being yelled at, so you are still better off than the rest of us.
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