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Old 04-21-2013, 06:42 PM   #1
Iggipolka


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Venting: Vacations with young kids

I'm going to vent/whine a bit & I'm hoping I won't get slammed too badly. I just need to get it out of my head.

I'm a mom of an almost 4 yr old & a 9 mth old. As I'm writing this, we are at Aulani in Hawaii and I'm looking at the ocean from our room because the kids are napping. I get it, kids need naps and they and us are happier when they nap, but I've spent more time in the room than I have on the beach.

I haven't gotten to go with my spouse to explore the island because the baby screams non stop in the car seat. It's torture for everyone. I actually don't mind staying back at the resort, I just wish I could be in the ocean, not just looking at it from a distance.

The time change has been brutal on all of us, the kids are awake at 4am, bouncing off the pitch dark walls & then ready for a nap by 9am when all the activities & pools are open. 9-11 nap, then lunch, maybe I can get a couple of hours at the pool before the baby is ready for afternoon nap. Sometimes, I wear her & can get her to nap outside so her sister can play/swim & i can at least be outside. By the time the baby is awake, the 3 yr old is melting down & needs a nap, so back to the room for another nap.
The baby is asleep for the night by 6:30, so I'm stuck in the room for the night. She also still wont sleep on her own, so i have to lay with her & listen to audio books. Exciting night time vacation.

The times that the kids have been awake and we've been out of the room have been fun. My older girl is part fish and watching her swim has been a blast. We found a little cove nearby with a seal and two turtles right on the beach. We've been to dance parties, taken hula lessons and ate an incredibly expensive, but yummy breakfast at a beach side restaurant.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and in the long run, this is a small sacrifice and their well being & happiness is more important than my getting to dig my toes into the sand at the beach.
I'm just sad & feeling a bit sorry for myself that this vacation has been full of things I wished I was doing, rather than actually enjoying the activity.

I know this period of time won't last long & in just a couple years, life will be much different with a 3 yr old and 6 yr old. So, I'm trying to focus on that and know that we'll be coming back to Hawaii again, so this is not my only chance to enjoy being here.

Still kinda bummed though.
Anyone else struggle with vacations with young kids, or have some tips on dealing with this?
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Old 04-21-2013, 06:50 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Iggipolka View Post
I'm going to vent/whine a bit & I'm hoping I won't get slammed too badly. I just need to get it out of my head.

I'm a mom of an almost 4 yr old & a 9 mth old. As I'm writing this, we are at Aulani in Hawaii and I'm looking at the ocean from our room because the kids are napping. I get it, kids need naps and they and us are happier when they nap, but I've spent more time in the room than I have on the beach.

I haven't gotten to go with my spouse to explore the island because the baby screams non stop in the car seat. It's torture for everyone. I actually don't mind staying back at the resort, I just wish I could be in the ocean, not just looking at it from a distance.

The time change has been brutal on all of us, the kids are awake at 4am, bouncing off the pitch dark walls & then ready for a nap by 9am when all the activities & pools are open. 9-11 nap, then lunch, maybe I can get a couple of hours at the pool before the baby is ready for afternoon nap. Sometimes, I wear her & can get her to nap outside so her sister can play/swim & i can at least be outside. By the time the baby is awake, the 3 yr old is melting down & needs a nap, so back to the room for another nap.
The baby is asleep for the night by 6:30, so I'm stuck in the room for the night. She also still wont sleep on her own, so i have to lay with her & listen to audio books. Exciting night time vacation.

The times that the kids have been awake and we've been out of the room have been fun. My older girl is part fish and watching her swim has been a blast. We found a little cove nearby with a seal and two turtles right on the beach. We've been to dance parties, taken hula lessons and ate an incredibly expensive, but yummy breakfast at a beach side restaurant.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and in the long run, this is a small sacrifice and their well being & happiness is more important than my getting to dig my toes into the sand at the beach.
I'm just sad & feeling a bit sorry for myself that this vacation has been full of things I wished I was doing, rather than actually enjoying the activity.

I know this period of time won't last long & in just a couple years, life will be much different with a 3 yr old and 6 yr old. So, I'm trying to focus on that and know that we'll be coming back to Hawaii again, so this is not my only chance to enjoy being here.

Still kinda bummed though.
Anyone else struggle with vacations with young kids, or have some tips on dealing with this?
My tip: look at the big picture. You're in Hawaii.
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Old 04-21-2013, 06:56 PM   #3
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That is why I wouldn't bring such young ones so far away. Not to be discouraging but disneyworld can be stressful enough....the plane ride alone to HI would kill me, lol. Are you and hubby taking turns with the kids? Next time, have hubby stay with the baby so you can go with your older one. For our trip last week, the first day I was stuck in the room while our sick baby napped. I would've rather been in the pool with the kids but I actually somewhat enjoyed sitting in a quiet room. Despite some not so fun times, it does seem like you all have had some fun moments. Just try to enjoy yourself!
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:12 PM   #4
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Could you and your husband tag team?? You get Monday to enjoy the ocean and pool while he plays full time parent, then on Tuesday you switch?

It's not as much fun as doing it together, of course. But it would be a crime to go all the way to Hawaii and not get into the ocean.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:44 PM   #5
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My tip - lesson learned. Don't do it again. We didn't vacation AT ALL with our kids until they were 4. And we didn't go anywhere expensive until last year when the youngest was almost 7. It sucked having to basically go nowhere for a few years, but it's all good now
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:45 PM   #6
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How come their dad (or other mom) isn't sitting with them occasionally? I understand if you have to nurse the baby down for naps, but their other parent can supervise naptime while you lounge by the pool or go for a swim or take in some sights.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:45 PM   #7
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I am sooo sorry. I can totally get your frustration, but you need to vent VERY loudly to your DH. No fair that you always get stuck in the room or with the kids. Maybe they will adjust to the time change in a few days. Does your little one always cry in the car seat? I would certainly try again. Even if he does he does cry a bit till you are at your destination, I would think he should be fine being worn around the sites. Prayers it gets better soon!
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:45 PM   #8
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Keep your eye on the big picture as other poster stated. Kids are kids. I traveled extensively before I had my daughter (at 43)!! I still travel, but have to adjust my expectations. She's been cruising since she was 7 months and going abroad since 1 and the trips have just changed, but I keep a balanced and positive perspective.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:47 PM   #9
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Everything you are describing is the very reason I would not take kids that young on such an expensive/far away adult oriented vacation. I would have left the kids with the grandparents.

If the baby is screaming every time it is in a car seat I am curious how your flight over went. Did the baby scream during the flight over?
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:52 PM   #10
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Agree on getting Dad to take a turn. You should go out tomorrow for a nice long exploration for the morning or afternoon.

Vacationing with very young kids is a lot of work (IMO). We went mostly to places where they could run around contained for a bit while mom and dad had a glass of wine for at least a bit of relaxation time during the day. The good news is that it does get easier! We go to a family resort in the poconos and when the kids were 2 and 3 it was constant up and down the stairs to our room for naps, diaper changes, clothing changes into bathing suits, etc. I was exhausted! Although dh and I did take turns taking in a bit of the night life after the kids went to bed each night.

Last summer they were 8 and 9 on the same trip - HUGE difference. I barely see them - they're running off to meet up with their cousins on the playground or heading up to the room to play Monopoly together. It is a nice change and we're all having a blast!

Good point on the time change - That is a good heads-up for any others who are considering that type of trip.

We went from East Coast to DisneyLand when they were 6 and 7. And even that time difference was a huge hassle for the first 3 days (and it was only a 7 day trip). My kids were awake the first 2 days by 3 - 4 am and I was tired by the time we left for the parks at 8:45am.
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Old 04-21-2013, 07:57 PM   #11
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I totally understand. My kids are all a bit older now and I'm so glad! When we vacationed when they were infants and toddlers, I never felt like I got much of a vacation....now, none of them nap or need a stroller. Last summer, my youngest turned 6 and was confident enough in the pool that we could watch them while sitting on the deck chairs instead of having to be in the pool with them! That was huge for me!

You'll get there before you know it, but it is frustrating to feel like you have no freedom to enjoy yourself. I hope you get some time to dip your toes in the water and listen to the waves.
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Old 04-21-2013, 08:27 PM   #12
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First - I feel your pain. I did a family reunion trip to WDW and spent 1/2 our MK day in the baby center with my 1 year old who was having a hard day (sick). We missed most morning rides with everyone b/c we were 3 hours off so kids slept in.

It will pass. Hang in there. Maybe you can wear the baby as the sun goes down and walk on the beach? Borrow movies from Pau Hana room to watch while you are stuck in the room?
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Old 04-21-2013, 08:31 PM   #13
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And this is why time away with the kids is not called a vacation it is called a trip.

We do a yearly trip with the kids and then hubby and I do a vacation. Be it 1 night or more, it is nice.


It will get better.

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Old 04-21-2013, 08:59 PM   #14
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I feel your pain! When my girls were 6 and 2 we did a big family cruise w/ my husband's side of the family. My little one fell asleep during dinner each night. I would carry her back to the room, and put them to bed and watch tv or just go to bed myself. My husband went to the shows, comedy club, dance party, and casino and strolled in each night around 1 to tell me how much fun he had! Ugh. It was a rough week, but it was his family and I wanted to let him have that time with them.

Fast forward (and I do mean fast), my girls are almost 16 and 12. We are going to Aulani in June and will be hiking, snorkeling, water sliding, kayaking and whatever else I can think of together as a family.

It gets better I promise!
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Old 04-21-2013, 09:20 PM   #15
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I'm sorry that you're not having as much fun as you hoped. Travel does change when the little ones come along, as you obviously know. I agree with other posters that dad needs to give you some beach time too, but I disagree with others who think that traveling with young children can never work. We took DD from Chicago (add'l 2 hour time difference) to Hawaii when she was 3 months old, 15 months old, and a few months ago at 3. There has been a lot of travel in between, but Hawaii is the farthest we've travelled with her so far. My best advice is to take someone with you. We took my husband's parents with us on all of the HI trips. We didn't do it to get nights out but to get 1-2 hours a day to veg at the beach or go on a hike. Does your resort offer babysitting services? My DD also cried in the car all the time until I realized she would ride happily as long as I had kid CDs playing (Raffi was her favorite at that age). Hey, it was better than a screaming baby. When she was 15 mos, she finally adjusted to the time around night 4 or 5. At that age, she also wouldn't go to sleep by herself when we travelled, so my DH and I took turns lying down with her until she fell asleep (every other night) then we'd sneak out of the room and sit down together with a glass of wine. When we were there a couple months ago, we forced the time adjustment. She doesn't nap at home, but she napped the 1st few days there for an hour a day, and then we pushed her to stay up later (no complaints from her). My experience has been the more we travel with her, the easier she adjusts each trip. It will get better, but don't skip those family vacations for the next 5 years. Get them excited for the travel and start setting expectations early as to what you'll expect from them during your vacation - obviously starting next year when your youngest can start to understand such things.
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