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Old 04-19-2013, 04:06 PM   #46
Princess86
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Originally Posted by Sandi View Post
It's true about the cancellation policy, but not making a decision puts her in-laws and nuclear family in a bit of a bind leaves them hanging. It wasn't clear to me whether the in-laws would drive their RV down if their grandson wasn't coming along. Is the vacation postponed/cancelled for everyone?
Yes, my IL's would still go with their children.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:06 PM   #47
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Something someone once told me that I have to always remember is, "Your time is an investment, make sure you invest it wisely."

As I'm sure you know life and parenthood put strains on marriage and unless you take the time to invest in the Core family unit (You and your Husband first kids second) your marriage will be doomed to fall apart.

With the in-laws with you this trip is a chance to secure the foundation of your marriage with your husband. And while yes, sister's and their much anticipated babies are both exciting and important, the blow to the foundation to your marriage (Even if it seems insignificant at the time) is not worth it.

If you truly need to feel like you are one of the first to see the new baby arrange to skype.

This may sound a bit harsh but the fact remains, best friend or not, your sister is not you life partner. Don't damage the core family unit over something that in the long run won't make the biggest difference.


Also, I believe that pp has already stated this but having been in a similar fertility situation as your sister keep in mind that things can happen. Its horrible and heartbreaking when it does but if you are insistent on being there for the birth I would wait until she is FIRMLY into her second trimester before even considering altering plans. I'm pretty sure if you made the decision to cancel the vacation and then the horrible happens that she would feel that much worse over the whole thing.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:10 PM   #48
Princess86
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Originally Posted by ItsNotMuchofaTail View Post

I feel like WDW will always be there later, a first birth for my sister will never happen again.
That's what I'm thinking.

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Originally Posted by ItsNotMuchofaTail View Post

And the thought of any time traveling with my exILs in an RV is enough to give me hives. So, people's reponses are definitely colored by their own experiences.

No matter what, its a shame of a predicament to be in. I don't envy you.
We did this years ago and actually had a great time.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:14 PM   #49
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OP, that's an enormous amount of circumstantial identification for someone who wants to remain undetected.

Go on the trip and keep your son and husband happy.
I just didn't want my sister's friends to see my picture and make the connection. They also don't know that we're going to wdw.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:16 PM   #50
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I think it is very sweet that you want to be there, but still hold firm to my first response of not canceling the trip. My SIL is having my newest niece on Monday. We are toying with the idea of traveling to see them next weekend, but haven't decided yet. You will get much better quality time with both your sister and the baby once she is home. That's even if she goes full term. If you keep the trip, make sure you bring back a special plush for the new little one. I got my niece (my brother's first daughter) a giant stuffed Pluto. The new baby got a stuffed Donald with a bell inside for Christmas. I can't wait to meet my newest niece, but my own family I that have made with my husband takes priority above all else.
Thank you and congrats!
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:19 PM   #51
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[QUOTE=Carriesouthard;48153848]
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Originally Posted by Princess86


She was there immediately after both of my children were born. I know I would be mad if she wasn't there.

Would you be mad if she was away on a vacation it took 3 years to save for? I get being upset if she is right down the road and didn't bother to come see the baby but if she were in Disney with her own family how would you feel?
That's true, I never thought of it like that. I remember being upset because my Mom was coming back from Europe a few days before my scheduled induction. But she goes all the time.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:19 PM   #52
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You have child so think. Did you deliver on your due date? How far out were you? With my first, I was 3 almost 4 weeks early. With my last one I was 2 weeks past due. Babies RARELY arrive when we tell them to.

As for canceling your long awaited long saved for vacation, no. How are you going to feel when she has that baby 2 weeks before your trip? And you canceled for nothing. If it took you three years to save for it then my guess is that at some time in the next year, something else will come up and it will get pushed again. This is time with YOUR family making memories for YOUR son. What is more important to you? Your sister having a baby or your son making lifetime memories?
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:20 PM   #53
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So you said you would be mad at her if she didn't come see you in the hospital right away...what if she were away on a family vacation? I can see being upset if she was right down the road and didn't come but not if she were away with her hubby.

You need to do what is right for you DH and ds...inlaws aside.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:27 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by Gracefulskinny View Post


Also, I believe that pp has already stated this but having been in a similar fertility situation as your sister keep in mind that things can happen. Its horrible and heartbreaking when it does but if you are insistent on being there for the birth I would wait until she is FIRMLY into her second trimester before even considering altering plans. I'm pretty sure if you made the decision to cancel the vacation and then the horrible happens that she would feel that much worse over the whole thing.
I'm leaning towards sticking with our vacation. If I do, I'm definitely going to wait until she's farther along.
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Old 04-19-2013, 04:28 PM   #55
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Now I need to know what you will decide so keep us posted.
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:19 PM   #56
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Now I need to know what you will decide so keep us posted.
I'm going to go ahead with the vacation plans. In a month or two, I will talk to my sister about it. I have to be honest - if she is going to be really, truly upset, then I might cancel. She's is the most calm levelheaded person I know and she never gets mad. But if she does, 'losing' my sister and having no contact with my future niece or nephew is not worth a vacation. Like I said, she's levelheaded so I highly doubt it would EVER come to that, but that would be worse case scenario for me.
I will annoy everyone by bumping this thread when our plans are set in stone.
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:20 PM   #57
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Well, my opinion is extremely unpopular it seems. I would probably stay home myself and send DH and DS on the trip. I wouldn't want to disappoint the ILs and DH and DS, but I wouldn't miss the birth of a baby so long-awaited.

I didn't want anyone in the delivery room, honestly, I would have been good with me and a doctor, LOL, but I would have been really sad if my family wasn't there afterwards.

I feel like WDW will always be there later, a first birth for my sister will never happen again.

And the thought of any time traveling with my exILs in an RV is enough to give me hives. So, people's reponses are definitely colored by their own experiences.

No matter what, its a shame of a predicament to be in. I don't envy you.


Would it be better if it weren't her sister's first birth?

Go on the trip, make some casseroles before you go, and be a helper when you get back.
Babies don't go bad if you don't see them right away. Have fun with your husband and son.
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:22 PM   #58
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I'm going to go ahead with the vacation plans. In a month or two, I will talk to my sister about it. I have to be honest - if she is going to be really, truly upset, then I might cancel. She's is the most calm levelheaded person I know and she never gets mad. But if she does, 'losing' my sister and having no contact with my future niece or nephew is not worth a vacation. Like I said, she's levelheaded so I highly doubt it would EVER come to that, but that would be worse case scenario for me.
I will annoy everyone by bumping this thread when our plans are set in stone.
If your sister absolutely required your presence, she would have held off on the IVF to not coincide with your plans. She and her husband will be just fine, like everyone else.
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Old 04-19-2013, 05:46 PM   #59
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Princess86 View Post
I'm going to go ahead with the vacation plans. In a month or two, I will talk to my sister about it. I have to be honest - if she is going to be really, truly upset, then I might cancel. She's is the most calm levelheaded person I know and she never gets mad. But if she does, 'losing' my sister and having no contact with my future niece or nephew is not worth a vacation. Like I said, she's levelheaded so I highly doubt it would EVER come to that, but that would be worse case scenario for me.
I will annoy everyone by bumping this thread when our plans are set in stone.
I have no right to judge your relationship with your sister, but if I had a sibling that would threaten cutting me off because I chose to go on a vacation that I had saved for 3 years to spend with MY family then I would have to say "good riddance." Your husband and son should always be your first priority and if they're not, then there's a bigger issue there It's not the vacation, it's the time with your family, your DH and DS time with parents/grandparents. They are just as important.
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Old 04-19-2013, 06:02 PM   #60
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If your sister absolutely required your presence, she would have held off on the IVF to not coincide with your plans. She and her husband will be just fine, like everyone else.
There is that. If OP being present is so important to the sister that she would find it grounds for cutting off the OP and with holding the baby, it would have been worth scheduling around.

It is grossly unfair to ask a sibling to screw up their marriage for your whim. Needs are one thing, but this is a want, not a need. The sister is not sounding like much of a friend right now. I understand about long awaited babies (believe me, first hand) but the rest of the world has responsibilities and needs too. OP can either please her sister or keep her commitment to her spouse, child and in laws. Hardly seems like a fair demand.
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