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Old 04-19-2013, 08:37 AM   #16
DebbieB
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I would leave it as is for now. You can cancel @ 46 days and get a full refund if that's what you choose to do.
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Old 04-19-2013, 08:51 AM   #17
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Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.
I agree with this 100%. Most people do not deliver on their due date. No way would I cancel a vacation to sit in a hospital waiting room. She doesn't want you in the room for delivery. IMHO, if you aren't special enough to be in the room when the baby is born, then she isn't special enough to drop the rest of your family for her. Don't get me wrong, not saying she doesn't love you because she doesn't want to have you in the room, but with love should come understanding. She should understand that you would be extremely put out to bail on your family on the off chance she goes into labor. Neither of my sisters would ever expect me to dump my family plans for them, just as I wouldn't expect them to dump theirs for me. I say keep the trip on. Odds are good that she will deliver before you leave.
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:39 AM   #18
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Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.


Absolutely this! Well said. OP listen to reason and put your own family's needs first. Are you seriously considering upsetting your dh and your 6 year old ds who is so looking forward to this trip to please your sister? You can be happy and supportive of her without putting your own family on the back burner. I totally side with your dh on this and IMHO he is being extremely reasonable even contemplating cancelling. How would you like it if he cancelled something you had been waiting and saving 3 years for because his sister or brother was having a baby?
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Old 04-19-2013, 09:44 AM   #19
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I think you are a good sister for considering this.

I feel I am a good sister too; but I know my sister is great because she would never ask me or want me to cancel my vacation. She would tell me to see the baby when I return.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:00 AM   #20
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I would leave it as is for now. You can cancel @ 46 days and get a full refund if that's what you choose to do.
It's true about the cancellation policy, but not making a decision puts her in-laws and nuclear family in a bit of a bind leaves them hanging. It wasn't clear to me whether the in-laws would drive their RV down if their grandson wasn't coming along. Is the vacation postponed/cancelled for everyone?
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:13 AM   #21
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Babies notoriously arrive on dates other than due dates..those dates are, at best, guesstimates. As your sister has said that she doesn't need you right in the room with her, but afterwards, I would think that if you got there even 5 days after the baby was born, it would be fine. You have the rest of your life to be there with them.
Your dh and kids should be first and foremost for you. You have made plans, important plans. The rest of your family is counting on you to go with them. To ask everyone to change their plans in order for you to be with your sister after her baby is born is a bit much. I understand wanting to be there, for her. But in all reality? Being with your dh and ds are more important. Surely your sister has her dh to support her for the few days you might not be there.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:17 AM   #22
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I agree that you should not postpone your trip. You could explain to your sister that she will know the joy of motherhood and know the mother's love that you already have with your DS. Therefore, your DS (and DH) cannot be asked to put aside their vacation for that baby.

I'm sure it's tough to think about that conversation but if you're close then hopefully it will be positive and won't interfere with your relationship. If it does, then it would be very selfish of her to think her needs comes before your family.

Good luck!
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:21 AM   #23
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I'm a terrible sister.

I'd tell her that I would do my best, but make no promises.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:52 AM   #24
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I love my sister very much, but personally, I would keep our vacation that we've planned for 3 years. Both she and the baby will be there when you get back from vacation and it will probably be even a better visit because both will be home from the hospital and settled in.

If she's late by a week or 2 weeks, and it's possible, then what? You've cancelled your family's trip, your in-laws, etc.... Plus, even if she's ontime, there's going to be all kinds of people in and out of the hospital. You'll have better time alone with her and the baby to help, and such, when they're all settled at home.

Go on your family vacation.... while "she doesn't ask for much", it is kind of alot to ask someone to cancel their vacation that you've been planning for 3 years. Just my opinion. Good luck.
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Old 04-19-2013, 10:58 AM   #25
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Well, my opinion is extremely unpopular it seems. I would probably stay home myself and send DH and DS on the trip. I wouldn't want to disappoint the ILs and DH and DS, but I wouldn't miss the birth of a baby so long-awaited.

I didn't want anyone in the delivery room, honestly, I would have been good with me and a doctor, LOL, but I would have been really sad if my family wasn't there afterwards.

I feel like WDW will always be there later, a first birth for my sister will never happen again.

And the thought of any time traveling with my exILs in an RV is enough to give me hives. So, people's reponses are definitely colored by their own experiences.

No matter what, its a shame of a predicament to be in. I don't envy you.
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Old 04-19-2013, 11:21 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by focusondisney View Post
Well, I'm not answering your questions, just giving my opinions. So, you've saved & planned for this vacation with your DH & ILs for 3 years. You're "very close" to your sister & she doesn't ask for much? Are you not "very close" to your DH? Does he ask for too much? Do your sister's wants take precedence over your husband's?? Coz really, she just wants you there to share her happiness (which I understand), but she certainly doesn't need you there in the first few days.

No wonder your DH gets sad & bickers. His preferences are taking a backseat to your sister's. I think you should "specifically" tell your sister that you have planned your trip for 3 years & there's no way you can disappoint your DH & son by postponing it for a year. Really, they should be your priority.

A previous poster said WDW will be there. But guess what, so will the baby. It's not going anywhere (for at least 18 years! ) Share your sister's joy now, throw her a great baby shower, shop with her for baby items & plan to spend time with them before & after your vacation. Your sister's family shouldn't take priority over your's. JMHO.
Agree 100%, I also like a PP comment about utilizing Skype if the baby was born while you were away. Just my to 2 cents worth, Good luck what ever you decide, clearly not an easy decision for the OP.
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Old 04-19-2013, 11:35 AM   #27
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I agree with this sentiment. Your sister should understand. Plus, your help will be much more valuable to your sister after they get home. I wouldn't disappoint my husband and child (or in-laws) on the "chance" that my sister might deliver about that time. Let your family get excited for the trip and enjoy the heck out of it. My father-in-law is no longer with us, but I sure wish we could take a trip with him. That vacation will mean a lot to your son, husband, and parents in law. Taking a vacation with your family doesn't make you a bad sister.
Agreed! Your sister will need you way more 2 weeks after the baby comes than on the day it arrives! Make your hubby & son (& yourself) happy, then come home and make your sister happy!
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Old 04-19-2013, 11:48 AM   #28
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Agreed! Your sister will need you way more 2 weeks after the baby comes than on the day it arrives! Make your hubby & son (& yourself) happy, then come home and make your sister happy!


I'm sure she doesn't realize it now. But she will.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:21 PM   #29
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Does your sister know the trip falls around her due date? If she does and still wants you to be at the hospital, I don't think that's fair.

You are a good sister for trying to keep everyone happy. However, I don't think I would postpone a trip that my DH and I saved for for 3 years, disappointing DH, DS, and IL's for a baby that MAY come while you are away. It's not fair to them when you could wait to see the new baby a few days after it is born.

Discuss with your in laws and ask them when you need to make a decision by. Don't change any plans until you have to.

My best friend feels awful that she scheduled her vacation a few days after my due date. I told her no worries. I don't expect anyone except my husband to arrange his schedule around the due date.
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Old 04-19-2013, 12:27 PM   #30
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I think you are being a good sister.

But... if there is one thing that being a mom myself has taught me is that your family with your partner/kids has to come before your family of origin. That and babies are unpredictable. As a preemie mom, I can say they like to surprise you.

All in all I think I would have a heart to heart with your sister. I would tell her your situation and I would frame it that you would love to skype from there if the baby arrives during that time (and there is a good chance this would all be moot and baby could be late or a little before then) but that you would be there at any point before or after the trip. And I love the idea of helping out once baby arrives and they are home. I would've loved an offer like that!
I agree. My grandson was predicted to come over Labor Day weekend six years ago. So, my husband and I canceled our Disney World trip, drove 12 hours one way from Georgia to Ohio for the blessed event.

We sat around and watched each other for the weekend and then drove back to Georgia with no grandson being born. He made his debut the NEXT weekend and we weren't there. Guess what? We still love him and he still loves us and we are still part of his family and always will be.

I guess I still don't understand the whole "have to be at the hospital when the baby is born" thing. When I had my son, I wanted everyone out and some peace and quiet. I did not like having my entire family there the weekend my son was brought home. That's the time for only the small family, not everyone under the sun. That can come later. Plenty of time.
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