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Old 05-04-2013, 11:02 PM   #1
Candleinthewind
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Spinoff to the spinoff to the nTh Power - Adults only birthday parties

We recently had a birthday party for my spouse at a wine and tapas bar. The invites clearly stated adults only. Who should show up but one of our friends with their two kids 5 and 6 in tow! The place is not an adults only establishment but we clearly indicated this was an adults only affair.

Totally changed the atmosphere when they showed up and frankly they were oblivious. Everyone wished they had either gotten a babysitter or had the kindness to stay the heck home!

Anything like that ever happen to you? We love our kid but we need adult time too!
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Old 05-04-2013, 11:17 PM   #2
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Happened once to me. I was invited to a party that was going to be a tapas place at 9pm. So, not really kid friendly. A friend of mine brought her three and five year old and asked me to keep an eye on them while she ordered the drinks. Ugh, sure....I felt bad for the kids because it was pretty late and they were really bored.
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:11 AM   #3
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I totally understand not being able to get a sitter, but sometimes that means you can't go out!
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Old 05-05-2013, 01:20 AM   #4
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Originally Posted by Candleinthewind View Post
We recently had a birthday party for my spouse at a wine and tapas bar. The invites clearly stated adults only. Who should show up but one of our friends with their two kids 5 and 6 in tow! The place is not an adults only establishment but we clearly indicated this was an adults only affair.

Totally changed the atmosphere when they showed up and frankly they were oblivious. Everyone wished they had either gotten a babysitter or had the kindness to stay the heck home!

Anything like that ever happen to you? We love our kid but we need adult time too!
There is a standard response to this, simply say to the person, "Oh, it is very nice that you stopped by to wish ----- a happy birthday, since you obviously can't stay as this is an adult only party"

If they get angry or upset so be it, they clearly didn't care about your feelings since they ignored the invitation, or maybe they thought "adult only" didn't apply to them.
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:09 AM   #5
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Bringing an uninvited guest to someone else's event is spectacularly rude. No matter who the extra guests are, or how old they are. If you can't get a sitter or you don't want to go without your kids, you decline the invitation. Sheesh.
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Old 05-05-2013, 05:52 AM   #6
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Bringing an uninvited guest to someone else's event is spectacularly rude. No matter who the extra guests are, or how old they are. If you can't get a sitter or you don't want to go without your kids, you decline the invitation. Sheesh.
Ab-so-lute-ly! Amen Lynn M.
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Old 05-05-2013, 06:35 AM   #7
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Bringing an uninvited guest to someone else's event is spectacularly rude. No matter who the extra guests are, or how old they are. If you can't get a sitter or you don't want to go without your kids, you decline the invitation. Sheesh.
Words of wisdom that should be tattooed onto the forehead of anyone who ever thought "Oh, no one will mind if we bring the kids along."

The people who attend a party are the ones who were invited, and ONLY those people. If you can't bear the thought of spending a few hours separated from your kids, or if your sitter cancels at the last minute, then you decline the invitation.

It's actually very simple.
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:53 AM   #8
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I've met people who think that them going to something means that the whole family goes. They seem to be oblivious to even the possibility of doing something without the kids or even worse their spouse. This feeling of being one unit at all times seems be getting more and more prevalent too.

I agree that an invitation that clearly states "no kids" means just that. Either comply or stay home.
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Old 05-05-2013, 12:01 PM   #9
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I had a 50th birthday party for my husband at a hall. I did all the cooking and catering for it. There were a couple of kids but they were my nieces and nephews as well as my own granddaughter. Most of them weren't that young but they were family and had been invited. I invited someone who we knew but were not that close to. I told him that the invite was for just him. He was separated from his wife and they had 2 kids. The kids were old enough to stay by themselves and he had them all the time. I told him that if it was a problem leaving the kids than we would miss him. He told me that it was no problem leaving them. He showed up with them and then asked for certain foods for them because they didn't like what I had. I had 50 people that I was taking care of so I ignored him. They finally left.
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Old 05-05-2013, 04:03 PM   #10
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Tigercat, that was the ultimate in rude.
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Old 05-05-2013, 04:54 PM   #11
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Wow, that is just rude.

I suppose you need to include on the invites...

While we love your kids, they are not invited to this event. Please keep the kids home and bring only yourselves as this party is for ADULTS ONLY.
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Old 05-05-2013, 06:31 PM   #12
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Several years ago, a friend had what she *thought* was going to be an adults only birthday party for her husband; she cooked an enormous amount of food, had candy and snacks lying around, and served alcoholic beverages. One of the (reluctantly) invited couples showed up with not only their own child, but a friend of the child's. My friend's teenaged daughter was home, so she lured the two kids into her room and entertained them, but they kept coming out where the adults were to get more candy. Meanwhile, the parents imbibed very freely and were more than tipsy when they left; we were concerned.

A few months later, when my husband and I were going to have a party, we put "ADULTS ONLY" on the invitation. They left the kid at home, but then we almost never got rid of them. They weren't invited anymore.
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Old 05-05-2013, 09:34 PM   #13
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DH and I do not have children so we would not regulate our behavior because some one brought their kid.

The worst I've ever seen was some one who brought their kid to an adults only party along with the kids babysitter AND her boyfriend !!!!! The boyfriend got in trouble with the hostess that night about the dangerous way he was using fireworks. Worst yet the Mom who exposed her kid and these two teenagers to a very adult party where the police showed up more than once is the stepdaughter of a very famous child behavior author.
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