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Old 04-03-2013, 04:31 PM   #1
Disneyland1084
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At a loss of words of what to say in sympathy card..

I became a SAHM mom a year ago. The brother of my former boss just died. I bought a sympathy card for her, but I'm at a loss of words. She loved her brother, but didn't "like" him. She cared about him, but wasn't close to him. Some might not send a card in a situation like this, but I worked with my boss for nearly 10 years. In the past year, we've emailed and talked on the phone every few months. I had a hard time finding the right card because I felt most of the messages weren't true ONLY BECAUSE of all the stories she's told me about him over the years. What would you say in this situation? So far I've written that I'm sorry to hear about her brother, but would like to say a couple more things. Please help Disers!
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:35 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Disneyland1084 View Post
I became a SAHM mom a year ago. The brother of my former boss just died. I bought a sympathy card for her, but I'm at a loss of words. She loved her brother, but didn't "like" him. She cared about him, but wasn't close to him. Some might not send a card in a situation like this, but I worked with my boss for nearly 10 years. In the past year, we've emailed and talked on the phone every few months. I had a hard time finding the right card because I felt most of the messages weren't true ONLY BECAUSE of all the stories she's told me about him over the years. What would you say in this situation? So far I've written that I'm sorry to hear about her brother, but would like to say a couple more things. Please help Disers!
I would say you are in my prayers and thoughts, please let me know if I can do anything for you or your family.
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Old 04-03-2013, 04:37 PM   #3
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Call me if you would like to talk.

I am thinking (or Praying if you are religious) for you

or
You are in my thoughts.

Let me know if there is something I can do for you.
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Old 04-03-2013, 05:09 PM   #4
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Wow are you my sister???

My sister called me last week about a co worker who's brother died, too. She was annoyed with the fact she had to go take care of his home when he went in for some simple surgery and he died on the table.

Brothers and sisters always have some kind of battle going on, but under it all they love each other and never want to lose each other. Love and like are two separate things.

Just let her know that you care and that you'll be the shoulder she needs if she needs one.

As one who has lost most of my entire family , I really hate the typical words, but that's me. Just the idea that you cared enough to acknowledge my pain is enough for me.
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Old 04-03-2013, 05:50 PM   #5
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My thoughts (and prayers) are with you and your family during this time of loss. May you find peace.
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Old 04-04-2013, 05:09 AM   #6
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Realistically, there's pretty much nothing you can say that will ease the heartache. I know you're searching for the perfect words, but they simply don't exist.

I would go with pretty much the standard: "I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your family will remain in my prayers."
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Old 04-04-2013, 08:18 AM   #7
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When I was in college and had to buy my first sympathy card, I asked almost this exact question of my mother. She said any thoughts of sympathy and support are always appreciated. The grieving person will feel better knowing that people care about them, even though it won't ease their grief. I've used this philosophy ever since. Just sending a card lets the person know you care. And if it is someone I don't know well, I just write "You're in my thoughts in this difficult time, please let me know if there is anything I can do"
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Old 04-04-2013, 10:23 AM   #8
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My thoughts (and prayers) are with you and your family during this time of loss. May you find peace.
Perfect. This is how I would sign it.
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Old 04-04-2013, 02:52 PM   #9
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If I were you I would forget any comments she ever made about her brother and send her the same sentiments you would send to anyone who lost a sibling.
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