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Old 04-02-2013, 05:56 PM   #106
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Originally Posted by branv View Post
We would be grateful for the invite and the food, and respect your choices. That being said, DH would probably not eat much and would go on to get something afterwards. He's just not someone who feels satisfied after most meatless meals, particularly mexican. So, if the possibility of that occurring doesn't bother you, then you should keep doing what you're doing.

However, I would say that if any member of your party doesn't seem to be eating much, I wouldn't question it. It may be difficult for you as a hostess, as I'm sure you want to make sure they're happy, but it is likely to just create an uncomfortable situation. For instance, DH's ex-stepdad used to make meals that were painfully hot. I mean, through the roof hot, all burn, little flavor. I had mentioned before (not at his dinners) that I couldn't eat too much hot food b/c it chewed my stomach up terribly. But he liked it that way, so that's how he made it. I would eat a little to be polite, and then stop. He was always offended that I didn't take seconds or eat more. I always tried to be nice and just say everything was great but that I was very full. But it wasn't enough. Similarly, an aunt in the family is the most gawdawful cook you've ever met. I don't mean bland, I don't mean unusual, I mean BAD. We will eat a little of everything to be polite, then claim to be full. But she just keeps pushing you to eateateat.

So in short, cook the meal you feel like making, but please don't question your guests if they don't eat much. It just makes everyone feel awkward.
Ding! We have a winner! The key to peace between friends who have widely varying eating styles is NEVER to comment about what some other adult is or is not choosing to eat or choosing to serve. Just let it be.

I'm well on the carnivorous side -- I do generally eat flesh of some kind at every meal (I'm lucky enough to be able to afford to do so, and I just happen to prefer it.) While I certainly would not be rude enough to complain about anyone's menu, I would probably be picking at a meal like this, mostly because I try to avoid both beans and cheese, as they cause unpleasant digestive issues for me. I'd nibble to be polite, but if I knew that the hosts were vegetarian and that Tex-Mex was on the menu, then I would definitely eat beforehand so that my stomach would not be audibly growling during the meal. That responsibility is on me, not on anyone else. (PS: I happen to be allergic to soy, which tends to be an issue for me when dining in vegetarian homes, as so many vegetarian folks eat quite a lot of it.)

FWIW, the reason that some people feel slighted if served a vegetarian meal at a party usually has nothing to do with not being able to survive one meal without meat. The real reason usually is that down through the centuries, there is a tradition in most countries that if you are hosting a feast, you should raid your piggy bank in order to serve nicer-than-ordinary food. (That biblical reference to killing the fatted calf is an example of that cultural norm.) In most cultures where vegetarianism is not a majority lifestyle, meat is usually the most expensive element in any meal, so there is often an unspoken implication that failing to serve meat to guests is cheap. (It's not just meat, either; there are also many cultures that feel the same way about alcohol.)

My advice for anyone hosting any event is to make sure that you have a variety of well-prepared food and plenty of it, and present it in an appetizing fashion, then just sit back and have fun, and don't worry about why anyone is not eating.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:15 PM   #107
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I just wanted to throw out there that if you don't feel comfortable making meat, but want to provide the option, try some of the precooked, precut chicken from the grocery store (like from Perdue Short Cuts or Oscar Meyer Chicken Strips - usually found either in the chicken section or in the prepacked lunchmeat sections). One of them even makes a southwest flavor which is good for Mexican, but plain would work just fine.

Personally I'd enjoy your meal, but my husband would not - he'd find something but it wouldn't satisfy him; though with Ohana later he'd be fine!!!! I also wouldn't expect a vegetarian to serve me meat, but I might not remember they were a vegetarian especially if we don't eat together often....
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:37 PM   #108
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I also wouldn't expect a vegetarian to serve me meat, but I might not remember they were a vegetarian especially if we don't eat together often....
Good point as well. Unless you're close friends who've eaten together many times before, you may not remember (or even know) the host is vegetarian.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:48 PM   #109
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Originally Posted by pixiewings71
I'm a meat eater and eat no meat meals all the time.
Me too but my husband would not eat what she's serving. If we go to parties with friends who are serving food he won't eat we'll bring something like a pepperoni pizza big enough to share. He's just super picky. My friends know that and they'll ask if a menu is ok, it usually isn't so I'll just say don't worry about it we'll bring something he'll eat lol.

My sister in law is vegetarian and all family meals including holidays are at her house and she always makes the meat dish ironically.
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Old 04-02-2013, 08:05 PM   #110
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I would never have a problem eating whatever meals I have been invited to, but also, when we have guests over, I cook the way I always do, so if anyone happens to not like the meat dish I happen to have, then they can avoid it.

I wouldn't make an issue of their way of cooking, and I would expect the same courtesy in return. I would not cook special, and would not expect anyone else to ( a food allergy known in advance would be different).
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:12 PM   #111
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I'm a meat eater and don't mind eating a meatless meal, especially at lunch or breakfast time. However, I'm not fond of Mexican anything, so I'd be avoiding anything pre-seasoned. The other part is that I have celiac, so if the tacos have wheat, rye, or barely, or were processed in a plant that handles those grains, I'd have to stay away from those also.

I'm thinking you are inviting these people more to enjoy each others' company, not necessarily to show off your vegetarian cooking skills. As long as you're OK with people not eating everything, or choosing not to eat anything, I don't see the problem.
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:12 PM   #112
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Me too but my husband would not eat what she's serving. If we go to parties with friends who are serving food he won't eat we'll bring something like a pepperoni pizza big enough to share. He's just super picky. My friends know that and they'll ask if a menu is ok, it usually isn't so I'll just say don't worry about it we'll bring something he'll eat lol.

My sister in law is vegetarian and all family meals including holidays are at her house and she always makes the meat dish ironically.
Honestly I think this is very rude. If the host is spending time, money and effort to serve you a meal I think it's rude to show up with a pepperoni pizza. If you don't like what will be served eat before or after or bring a small side item, appetizer or something to share but to bring a whole meal I wouldn't even do this for my super picky kid. Even if your husband is just super picky it still feels like he is saying "your food isn't good enough for me".
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Old 04-02-2013, 09:28 PM   #113
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I would be grateful you have invited me over and that you are feeding me.
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Old 04-02-2013, 10:12 PM   #114
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UPDATE:
I had to drop DS off at an activity tonight and it is right next door to Sam's Club. I ran in there for a couple things and decided to check out the frozen stuff.

I bought chicken taquitos. For me these are perfect. I don't have to cook or chop up any meat and I don't need to stick meat in any of my pots. I will put these on a cookie sheet lined with parchment and heat them up. No gross chicken touching my stuff!

For the guests, I think it will be a gross....I mean good option! From what I have been told, they like Taco Bell and this seems to be in the same ballpark.

They will still have to have meat free tacos if they choose to partake in my spread, but if they are just dying for some prepackaged meat filled goodness, they have an option. If that doesn't work, they will pass by McDonald's as they leave my house so they should be good to go!

On another note, I made the gazpacho today so the flavors can meld overnight. OMG! Honestly, it was beyond tasty. I'm hoping my guests hate it so there is more for me!
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Old 04-02-2013, 11:21 PM   #115
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wendy31

In fact, I would be kind of hoping that a vegetarian friend would make me an amazing dish to showcase how tasty vegetarian meals can be. (As long as I can pick around any mushrooms - that's the one problem I have w/ most vegetarian or vegan dishes - there's usually mushrooms in the dish, & I don't like mushrooms! LOL!)
This is exactly what I was going to say.

I also want to add that you should not make apologies which implies you think you did something wrong. Serve your lovely meal with the pride it deserves.
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:17 AM   #116
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OP can you give me the gazpacho recipe. I have never made it or even tried it before since cold soup never appealed to me. If you have a great recipe then I am more then willing to give it a shot.

BTW nice touch with the taquitos, it's more then I would have done
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Old 04-03-2013, 06:29 AM   #117
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Honestly I think this is very rude. If the host is spending time, money and effort to serve you a meal I think it's rude to show up with a pepperoni pizza. If you don't like what will be served eat before or after or bring a small side item, appetizer or something to share but to bring a whole meal I wouldn't even do this for my super picky kid. Even if your husband is just super picky it still feels like he is saying "your food isn't good enough for me".
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:28 AM   #118
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Honestly I think this is very rude. If the host is spending time, money and effort to serve you a meal I think it's rude to show up with a pepperoni pizza. If you don't like what will be served eat before or after or bring a small side item, appetizer or something to share but to bring a whole meal I wouldn't even do this for my super picky kid. Even if your husband is just super picky it still feels like he is saying "your food isn't good enough for me".
Seriously. I wouldn't have let my toddlers pull this.
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Old 04-03-2013, 07:40 AM   #119
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Where's the beef?
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Old 04-03-2013, 08:44 AM   #120
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Originally Posted by mombrontrent View Post
Honestly I think this is very rude. If the host is spending time, money and effort to serve you a meal I think it's rude to show up with a pepperoni pizza. If you don't like what will be served eat before or after or bring a small side item, appetizer or something to share but to bring a whole meal I wouldn't even do this for my super picky kid. Even if your husband is just super picky it still feels like he is saying "your food isn't good enough for me".
I agree. If its that big of a deal, eat ahead of time.
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