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Old 03-30-2013, 10:21 AM   #76
TinkerBelled
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Originally Posted by dizcrazee View Post
I didn't the first time it happened because I was so shocked and I really didn't want to hurt the student's feelings, but now I have a standard response that I use to let them know that it's not appropriate...I smile nicely and in a very polite tone I say....

"You're very nice to call me that, but I think it's best if you refer to me as Dr. xxxxxx since that's what the other students call me."

Hopefully, this gets the point across without me offending them. I know they are just trying to be nice, but they need to know that it's not always appropriate to use these terms.
That is a lot more civil than many professors I know would be--including my aunt, who I think would just glare at them like Maggie Smith (of whom she reminds me, very much). I can't decide if it's a reflection of the entitlement of today's college students or the still-difficult role of women in academia.

Your response is very graceful and kind. If I were a professor, I think I would react in the same way you did the first time, but I couldn't promise that an incredulous "excuse me?" wouldn't pop out of my mouth by accident.
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Old 03-30-2013, 11:44 AM   #77
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That is a lot more civil than many professors I know would be--including my aunt, who I think would just glare at them like Maggie Smith (of whom she reminds me, very much). I can't decide if it's a reflection of the entitlement of today's college students or the still-difficult role of women in academia.

Your response is very graceful and kind. If I were a professor, I think I would react in the same way you did the first time, but I couldn't promise that an incredulous "excuse me?" wouldn't pop out of my mouth by accident.
Hi TinkerBelled, thanks for saying my response was kind - that's what I was aiming for. I really don't think the girls meant any disrespect. Like I said, calling everyone "sweetie" seems to have become a campus fad at my college, especially among the female students, and I think they are just in the habit of saying it. By the way, I don't hear the male students saying it - it seems to be just the young ladies.

To the DIS friends from Louisiana that responded, you are absolultely right - I have heard this expression and others like it, especially "baby", many times down in LA...I have relatives in south LA and it is part of the culture. It's not part of the culture in my area - it just suddenly popped up for some reason...I'm not sure why.
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Old 03-30-2013, 11:54 AM   #78
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Doesn't faze me in the least. I've been a nurse for 30 years. I've been called WAY worse than Sweetie.
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:09 PM   #79
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And don't call me sweetie
How bout Sugar Plum?

Honey?

Darlin?
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:31 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by wvjules View Post
I hate when servers refer to you as honey, sweetie, darlin, etc. I had one at lunch today and I wanted to slap her. (It probably didn't help that I was on a 45 minute hold with the IRS. )

But in all seriousness, why do they do that? I know I can't be the only one that hates it. It's not endearing, its annoying!
How about honey boo boo?
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:55 PM   #81
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Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.
Pebbles would work just fine, I imagine.
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Old 03-30-2013, 01:58 PM   #82
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If it's a sweet name, I don't mind. There are a lot of other not very nice words women could be called.
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Old 03-30-2013, 02:04 PM   #83
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I never give it a second thought.
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Old 03-30-2013, 03:03 PM   #84
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My parents are from North Carolina and I grew up saying "ma'am" and "sir". I still say it without thinking even though I'm in my 40's. I don't mind being called honey or sweetheart as long as it isn't condescending. I DO mind being called "Mom" by every doctor, teacher, dentist, orthodontist, etc. that my children see. I get it that they don't know my name, but I guarantee they have my name because it is on the 700 forms they just had me fill out!
I had that once from the pediatrician. "Mom"this and "Mom" that. "Let me tell you, Mom, dogs and babies do not mix." And she was MAD. That was my first and last visit with her.

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I hate any sort of pet names that people call me, had a boyfriend who called me "Sweetie"...put an end to that one. My brother's gf/person/idiot calls me "deer" (that's how she spells it when she texts me) all the time, so I interrupt her with "HUMAN". But I think I'm more bothered with it because it's usually younger people using those pet names. There is an older lady at one of the gas stations, she has a slight southern drawl and she will call everybody babydoll, sweetie, hunny, darling...and when she does it, I want nothing more than to give her a hug and make her my grandma.

I don't know what it is about the names that bothers me so much. Then again, I HATE being called ma'am, I'm barely 30, not old enough to be a ma'am yet! But I also hate when somebody will look at my ID or credit card and address me by my name. Think I'd be better off being referred to as "HEY YOU!" hahah When it comes down to it though, I really try not to make a big deal out of anything and won't try to correct somebody, I'm annoyed for that moment and then move on just as quickly.
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Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.
That's what I'm thinking. One of these days I'll probably get punched in the nose for saying, "Thank you, ma'am."
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Old 03-30-2013, 03:09 PM   #85
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Maybe it's a southern thing... Kentucky mama here, I call everyone babe, darling, love or sugar.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:29 PM   #86
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Ummm, even your boyfriend couldn't call you 'Sweetie'? Would hate to run into you anywhere then, because I wouldn't know how to address you that would not offend.
I'm quite a pleasant person and don't make a huge deal out of what people call me, but I couldn't stand "sweetie" from him. He had plenty of other things he called me, most original that had special meaning...not a big deal for me not to like a certain generic term, he wasn't put off by it.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:33 PM   #87
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Pebbles would work just fine, I imagine.
It doesn't matter what people call me. If I don't like it, i don't point it out, nor do I let it ruin my day- or my moment. It is what it is, call me what you will. I think that's how most people on here are with the pet names they don't like. They're not going to throw a fit and stomp their feet and demand somebody to correct how they address others. You can not like something and not make a big deal of it.
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:19 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by PebblesMK View Post
I hate any sort of pet names that people call me, had a boyfriend who called me "Sweetie"...put an end to that one. My brother's gf/person/idiot calls me "deer" (that's how she spells it when she texts me) all the time, so I interrupt her with "HUMAN". But I think I'm more bothered with it because it's usually younger people using those pet names. There is an older lady at one of the gas stations, she has a slight southern drawl and she will call everybody babydoll, sweetie, hunny, darling...and when she does it, I want nothing more than to give her a hug and make her my grandma.

I don't know what it is about the names that bothers me so much. Then again, I HATE being called ma'am, I'm barely 30, not old enough to be a ma'am yet! But I also hate when somebody will look at my ID or credit card and address me by my name. Think I'd be better off being referred to as "HEY YOU!" hahah When it comes down to it though, I really try not to make a big deal out of anything and won't try to correct somebody, I'm annoyed for that moment and then move on just as quickly.
Wow, so really, what do you likes to be called? Too old for ma'am but you don't like it when they address you by name. I guess you are one of those people that are just too hard to please.
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Old 03-31-2013, 03:23 PM   #89
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I have called people terms of endearment names my entire life. When I was a bartender, I called people that until I could remember their names. My children are taught to say Please and Thank You and Ma'am and Sir. The thought that honey or sweetie would offend someone is so foreign to me. I do have a couple of Starbucks stories about it:

I had a regular customer that came in daily and one day he was SUPER early, like still dark outside. He walked in and I said "Good Morning Sunshine! Grande coffee today?" He looked me straight in the eye and said "Not one minute of my life has ever been sunshine. Don't call me that." I just said the first thing that came to my head....... which was, "Oh, that's awful! I'm so sorry for you! Do you need room for cream?"

Second story is much worse, and I have to say that I really wanted to get loud but I didn't. I just removed my employee from the situation. I had a long time employee who travelled extensively and worked for Starbucks in other states and countries. Her home base was my store. She had just gotten back from about 8 months in Scotland, and for some reason had picked up the phrase "My Lady". A woman in her 60's came in with a problem with a purchase. She wasn't irate or agitated, just wanted the problem handled. Well my employee said "I am so sorry about that My Lady, I'll be happy to fix it for you". The woman FLIPPED OUT! She started yelling at my employee saying, "Don't you be condescending to me! I am not YOUR LADY! Don't you speak to me that way!" My employee started apologizing and I interrupted. "You don't need to apologize, you didn't do anything wrong. Go on and head to the back and I'll take care of this." I said it calmly and not angrily. When my employee went to the back, I fixed the problem and they left. Meanwhile my employee is a train wreck in the back room. I told her to shake it off, we don't know what happened to that customer before she walked in the door. I had to reassure her that she didn't do anything wrong. Over "My Lady"?
There was a tour guide in the islands that called me and other women "my lady" every time he did it, I melted. I LOVED it. People need to get over themselves. I have no patience for anyone that behaves lie this. They are probably just mean nasty friendless people and with this attitude, I can see why.
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Old 03-31-2013, 08:04 PM   #90
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I loved being called sweetie when I was in the states. Of course, they were rather pretty young ladies and I was a young fellow. Totally unrelated facts mostly just nice to get good servers. We only ever had one bad one, whom my mother chewed out and was shouted at by the manager. Kinda felt sorry for her. But she was quite grumpy. We'd seen her serve others and she just said what do you want rather aggressively... Not very professional. But overall, a real novelty to have someone willing, able and nice to help you navigate mealtimes. I do miss that.

I also got a Belgian term when I went there, again from a rather pretty young lady, but I'm not sure what that one meant. She was very chirpy though, so it was probably nice. It earned her a large tip though.

In Britain I mostly just get a polite but curt, what can I get you? sometimes with a sir on the end...one time I got a rather surly WHAT? I never went back. We don't operate on tips... Good and bad points there.

I go to a lovely pub in the countryside where the bartender calls every woman he serves my lover or my darling. Would probably give some people here an embolism. I get sir.
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