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Old 03-12-2013, 08:09 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by daughtersrus View Post
For those that asked, it's not a work situation but family. They're having a small wedding so only a few are invited but it looks like everyone else is being invited to the showers.
That would irk me a bit. I'd understand for a co-worker, but I'm not too keen on the idea of a family member who didn't want me as a guest as the actual event but is happy to invite me to bring a gift to a shower.

Usually when a couple has a small or destination wedding they throw a casual reception or party at a later date to celebrate with everyone who couldn't be there. That's gracious. Inviting someone to a shower only just seems greedy and tacky.
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Old 03-12-2013, 08:37 PM   #17
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When I got married my ex MILs best friend threw me a shower in my ILs hometown which was about 2 hours away from where we lived and where the wedding was held. I had only met one of the women who attended before, all the others were my MILs church friends.

After the shower I found out that she was not planning to extend wedding invitations to most of the people she had invited to the shower for various reasons. The one woman I met that day that I actually liked was not invited to the wedding because "she is divorced and wouldn't have anyone to ride with."

I felt so bad about the situation because I had always been taught that if you are invited to the shower then you are invited to the wedding. It's tacky to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding. Unfortunately, since they were my ex MILs friends whom I had never met I didn't know any of them and wasn't able to convince my MIL they needed to be invited.

I about died laughing a few weeks later when my MIL called to say she heard from her best friend that the woman in question had been planning to come to the wedding but hadn't been invited. She asked me what she should do and I told her to just call the woman up and say we hadn't gotten her RSVP and needed to know if she was able to make it or not and when she said she hadn't gotten an invitation just tell her it must have gotten lost in the mail or something and we really hope she can make it. My MIL didn't want to do that so she just ignored the situation. I felt so bad for that poor woman. I guess I should have just put my foot down and sent out invitations anyway but that would have started World War III with my ILs.
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