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Old 03-12-2013, 08:45 AM   #1
StitchesGr8Fan
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I have a question based off reading the boarding school thread.

Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy my child when she comes, 18 years go so fast, etc etc. And I see a lot of posts about too much pressure on kids and teens with school and homework, let them be kids type of responses.

So if there is a suitable public or private school available locally , why would I want to send my child away to boarding school? Isn't that just cutting short our already precious family time?

I'm just confused because I (like all parents) want to give my child every opportunity possible. But it just seems to contradict what so many people have told me and I've read.

I'm not judging, just looking for insight.
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:10 AM   #2
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there was a really interesting show on bbc America that explored this a bit, it was about 8 year olds (if I remember correctly) heading off to boarding school and what that was like for the child and the parents.

For a lot of them it had to do with one parent having grown up going to boarding school so wanted that same thing for their child. Those parents saw it as a normal stage of childhood. It was really hard if their other parent did NOT go to boarding school. There was one mother in particular who broke my heart, she did not want her child going but her dh was very firm about it.

For others it was because they moved around so much for work that they felt it gave their child stability.

For others it was because they weren't crazy about the local schools.

That is what I remember at least. It was a really interesting show.

I knew many kids who went to boarding school. Some it was just a really good fit for them...they came from tough neighborhoods, and this kept them out of that atmosphere and gave them a better education.

Some were sent to boarding school because the kids went wild at home and their parents felt like the boarding school would have more control than they did. The stories those friends brought home about the stuff they got away with at school make me cringe now as a parent, to be honest. And these were good schools!

Some had parents who led a very jet set lifestyle who really weren't guaranteed to be around consistently.

I think there are many and varied reasons for boarding school, but honestly I would have a hard time sending my kids to one, if only for selfish reasons. My twins are 9 today, their brother just turned 11. Time with them is flying far too fast as it is!
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Old 03-12-2013, 09:23 AM   #3
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I would never send my small child away, but whatever works for others
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:26 AM   #4
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The people who I know who do boarding school are wealthy. The reasons in the pp above sounds like pretty good reasons.

If it were best for my DD, I would hope I could do it. As it was, homeschooling HS was the best situation for her and I did my best with that. Time with my DD is precious to me. Under the circumstances we have in our life (minus lack of $ for boarding school), I just do not think I would have ever considered it. But we're grounded here, we do not live in a rough area, I work from home, my DH is home from work 7 days straight a month (plus other days off) and boarding school would not be a fit for us, really.

Time with your child is short and precious. DD is a college FR now and I can tell you--treasure every minute of time you are given. Two blinks of an eye and they grow up and move on.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:34 AM   #5
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Many of my friends from elementary school/middle school went on to boarding school. We generally had families where the father was an executive who traveled a lot and had a wife who wanted to join him. Rather than leave the kids alone, they put them in boarding school. Also, there were some families who moved a lot as part of the job, including internationally, so rather than moving their children from school to school every two years or so, they stayed in one school for stability.

My family fell into both categories but my mother was dead set against boarding school. We changed schools a few times and had a live-in au pair to bridge the gap when my parents were out of town.

This worked well for my family, but I sure did envy my boarding school friends! Too much Malory Towers in my youth, I guess.

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Old 03-12-2013, 10:38 AM   #6
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My dad attended boarding school in HS because he felt he wasn't getting a good enough education in public school. He then went on to an Ivy league college, and then Columbia for graduate school. He then went on to a pretty decent career, which allowed my mom to stay home, and no college loans for his children.

It was his choice. ETA, my grandmother was born in Scotland, my grandfather was German, and they were not a warm, fuzzy family! I grew up a few blocks away from my grandmother, and never saw her much. My dad was also one of those "children should be seen, and not heard" kind of dads.

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Old 03-12-2013, 10:42 AM   #7
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Oh...my mom exBF went to boarding school. He's an annoying man so I'm thinking that is why they sent him away. The parents are in their 90s now and they still seem annoyed by him. I'd send him away also.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:44 AM   #8
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My HS girlfriend left for "finishing" school after our sophomore year. Her older brother had done the same. Both were prepping for Julliard, so there was a presumed need. Both went to public school up to that point though.
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:52 AM   #9
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My dh's cousin has her two dds in boarding school. The only reason I can think of is that they are extremely wealthy.............extremely.......and want the best of course since they can afford it. I am sure there are pretty decent schools where they live (private).
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:53 AM   #10
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I greatly dislike my children. That's why!
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Old 03-12-2013, 10:55 AM   #11
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My father went to boarding school because he wasn't doing as well in the local high school as his parents thought he ought to be doing. He loved it, though it didn't really turn him around in terms of academic focus. He went on to Fordham and nearly flunked out the first term - his parents dragged him home after reading him the riot act and then the very next night seeing him in the TV audience of one those old entertainment shows.

My son would LOVE to go to boarding school. I think he'd love it as well but I'd miss him too much!
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:18 AM   #12
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I asked on the other boarding school thread but its been entirely sidetracked from the original question so if you don't mind I'll ask here again.

Has anyone gone to boarding or similar day school for middle school 6th-8th? Did you feel going the extra 3 years before entering in 9th grade gave you a leg up to those students that entered later in their schooling?

Daughter applied and got in to a local day school and although its a great opportunity for her, I also feel she will do well in her public middle school. And the $$ .

I've done the +/- on it and if I had absolutely no worries about the cost, I'd send her in a heartbeat. I've asked friends that go to the school and they absolutely love it but .....still not sure.

Of course daughter wants to go so badly!
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:30 AM   #13
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My cousin is in boarding school at the high school level and loves it. I honestly think its harder on her parents than it is on her.
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Old 03-12-2013, 11:39 AM   #14
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This was my dream when I was a kid.

I really don't know anyone who has done this so I can't say. I just remember one kids from my 6th grade being sent to one but they were one of the wealthy families if our town.

I would only do it if.....it was semi close so wouldn't take too long to go visit. At least some week ends.
If it was something they wanted.
AND if it is a great opportunity for my child.

Oh have to add my dd who is 13 watches Zoey 101 so it looks awesome to her and she has said she wanted to go to one a few times.
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Old 03-12-2013, 12:47 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aneille View Post
I asked on the other boarding school thread but its been entirely sidetracked from the original question so if you don't mind I'll ask here again.

Has anyone gone to boarding or similar day school for middle school 6th-8th? Did you feel going the extra 3 years before entering in 9th grade gave you a leg up to those students that entered later in their schooling?

Daughter applied and got in to a local day school and although its a great opportunity for her, I also feel she will do well in her public middle school. And the $$ .

I've done the +/- on it and if I had absolutely no worries about the cost, I'd send her in a heartbeat. I've asked friends that go to the school and they absolutely love it but .....still not sure.

Of course daughter wants to go so badly!
My sons go to a local private day school. It's not cheap, but we truly do believe that they are getting the best possible education. Our oldest is in 6th grade now, so I don't know how much of a "leg up" it will give him in high school, though.
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