Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 03-02-2013, 01:55 PM   #1
NYEmomma
DIS Veteran
 
NYEmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 1,746

Question for parents of twins

My girls are 8 months old and really don't like each other. Is that normal? It's bumming me out. I always figured they'd be like those cute twins you hear holding hands & calming the other down when they're in the crib together. They're the total opposite of that.

They don't interact at all except if it's for E trying to steal C's toy. Which she does every time C has a toy in her hand (even if they're playing with the exact same toy). Or E will try to crawl over top of C (who doesn't crawl yet). They don't look at each other, acknowledge each other, talk to each other. And the worst part is that C cries EVERY TIME E touches her.

Is this normal? Will they some day grow to be closer?
__________________
Me , DH , DD 5 , DD 2 , DD 2

8/82 off-site :: 12/88 off-site :: 2/93 POFQ :: 12/98 off-site :: 10/02 POFQ :: 10/11 POFQ :: 2/15 POR

NYEmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 02:21 PM   #2
soccerdad72
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,184

I'd say 8 months old is a little too early to worry about them liking each other.
soccerdad72 is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 03-02-2013, 02:38 PM   #3
Kellydelly
DIS Veteran
 
Kellydelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,795

I have boy/girl twins that are now 9 yrs old. I don't remember them not liking each other or being annoyed when they were babies or toddlers. They are not super close at this point, but they were kind of buddies when they were toddlers. I have two other older kids who were in the mix too, so that may be why they are not attached at the hip? In school they don't even act like siblings .







Sorry for the picture fest but I am in a nostalgic mood now that you brought up twin babies .
Kellydelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 02:55 PM   #4
NYEmomma
DIS Veteran
 
NYEmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 1,746

Aww, your pics are lovely, Kellydelly. Makes me stop for a minute and appreciate the baby stage... no matter how much I hate it on most days. One day they'll be grown. *sniff*

I do have an older daughter and both the twins ADORE her. It just seems bizarre to me that they're so ambivalent and sometimes just downright unpleasant to one another when I always thought that they'd have a stronger bond.

They're different in so many ways -- complete opposite of one another. So I guess I don't expect them to be best buddies their whole lives. I anticipate that they'll have completely different interests & social circles, just based on personality now. But it does bother me a little that they don't even acknowledge one another. And it makes me very sad for E that every time she even brushes her sister's hand, C freaks out and screams.
__________________
Me , DH , DD 5 , DD 2 , DD 2

8/82 off-site :: 12/88 off-site :: 2/93 POFQ :: 12/98 off-site :: 10/02 POFQ :: 10/11 POFQ :: 2/15 POR

NYEmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 03:39 PM   #5
Kellydelly
DIS Veteran
 
Kellydelly's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 2,795

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYEmomma View Post
Aww, your pics are lovely, Kellydelly. Makes me stop for a minute and appreciate the baby stage... no matter how much I hate it on most days. One day they'll be grown. *sniff*

I do have an older daughter and both the twins ADORE her. It just seems bizarre to me that they're so ambivalent and sometimes just downright unpleasant to one another when I always thought that they'd have a stronger bond.

They're different in so many ways -- complete opposite of one another. So I guess I don't expect them to be best buddies their whole lives. I anticipate that they'll have completely different interests & social circles, just based on personality now. But it does bother me a little that they don't even acknowledge one another. And it makes me very sad for E that every time she even brushes her sister's hand, C freaks out and screams.
Hopefully it's just a stage. I was a nanny for twin baby girls before I had my own kids and they weren't all lovey-dovey or ga ga over each other, they stole toys from each other, etc. I don't remember them ever being very enamored with each other at a young age, but they are friends now .
Kellydelly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 03:46 PM   #6
Maytai
Earning My Ears
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 26

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYEmomma View Post
My girls are 8 months old and really don't like each other. Is that normal? It's bumming me out. I always figured they'd be like those cute twins you hear holding hands & calming the other down when they're in the crib together. They're the total opposite of that.

They don't interact at all except if it's for E trying to steal C's toy. Which she does every time C has a toy in her hand (even if they're playing with the exact same toy). Or E will try to crawl over top of C (who doesn't crawl yet). They don't look at each other, acknowledge each other, talk to each other. And the worst part is that C cries EVERY TIME E touches her.

Is this normal? Will they some day grow to be closer?
This is my first post ever

I am glad to here that someone has the same "normal" as me!! I always thought 'Why aren't my twins like the ones on TV? Why do they hate eachother? Why are they complete opposites?'

I have twin boys (now 12yo), who didn't get along either. One was taking the other's toy or bottle, or they would hit eachother with the toy. I, too, started to notice at the 8mo age because their personalities are so different. It was seriously driving me crazy trying to keep the peace between 2 babies. It's not like you could put one kid in one corner and one in the other. To keep them safe, you have to keep them close to you, but then that also means they are close to each other...which in my case meant trouble I usually had one kid going after the other, not always, but let's just say I was having a good day when that didn't happen.

I'm sure a TON of people will disagree, but I ended up buying 2 of everything, identical. Although I treat them as individuals, all of their "stuff" were identical. Again, I know about sharing etc, but when you have 2-1yr olds who do not get along, my first priority is to keep the peace between them, To give them the chance to figure out that 'Hey, they can be my friend'. Once there were as many good days than bad days, I introduced 'sharing' with eachother. They never had a problem sharing with other kids, it was just sharing with eachother. To this day, I have no idea why that was, but it was!

I'll confess that everything is not perfect, but it is definitely better, and could be considered 'normal' to everyone else. Hang in there...it'll get better!
Maytai is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 03:47 PM   #7
Soldier's*Sweeties
I WILL walk three miles in the snow, uphill, barefoot for a Pumpkin Spice Latte
I'll take the Palmettos
 
Soldier's*Sweeties's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Schenectady, NY
Posts: 6,356

My boy/girl twins will be six this month.

They have a love/hate thing going on...Can't live with each other, can't live without.

All they do is fight, but refuse to play alone and get mad when the other won't play with them. SOOOOO annoying!

When they were babies I would say they were indifferent to each other. They didn't really care the other was around and I never noticed it change their mood or upset them when separated.

I have heard that fraternal twins are nothing different than any two siblings. (Except for the obvious womb sharing.) So it's kind of just the luck of the draw thing when it comes to them clicking. Identical twins are supposed to be the super close knit bonded types, but I don't know since I can only speak from my experience.
__________________
2013 Book Challenge: 25 of 25 COMPLETE!!!
Bonus book #26- Parasite(Parasitology #1) Mira Grant
2014 Reading Challenge: 35 Books
#1-Bad Monkey Carl Hiaasen, #2- Undead and Unwed MaryJanice Davidson, #3- New Year Island Paul Draker, #4- Belle de Jour: Diary of an Unlikely Call Girl Anonymous, #5-Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers Mary Roach,
#6- Undead and Unemployed MaryJanice Davidson, #7- Infected Scott Sigler, #8- Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex Mary Roach, #9- Flesh Worn Stone John Burks, #10- Uganda Be Kidding Me Chelsea Handler,
#11- The Witness Sandra Brown, #12-Midnight Crossroad Charlaine Harris, #13- Under the Dome Stephen King, #14- Monument 14 Emmy Laybourne, #15- Monument 14: Sky on Fire Emmy Laybourne, #16- The Magicians Lev Grossman, #17, #18, #19- The Strain Trilogy Guillermo Del Toro,
#20- A Discovery of Witches Deborah Harkness, #21- Postmortem Patricia Cornwell, #22- The Darkest Minds Alexandra Bracken, #23- The Heist Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg, #24- The Town Bentley Little, #25- The Chase Janet Evanovich and Lee Goldberg
Soldier's*Sweeties is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 04:02 PM   #8
ChancesAre
Earning My Ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 33

Quote:
Originally Posted by NYEmomma View Post
My girls are 8 months old and really don't like each other. Is that normal? It's bumming me out. I always figured they'd be like those cute twins you hear holding hands & calming the other down when they're in the crib together. They're the total opposite of that.

They don't interact at all except if it's for E trying to steal C's toy. Which she does every time C has a toy in her hand (even if they're playing with the exact same toy). Or E will try to crawl over top of C (who doesn't crawl yet). They don't look at each other, acknowledge each other, talk to each other. And the worst part is that C cries EVERY TIME E touches her.

Is this normal? Will they some day grow to be closer?
Identical twin boys here. Mine were the same way. This continues to this day. They don't "hate" each other, but do have to work at tolerating each other. They've always hated being twins, especially the identical part because teachers/friends' mom were always comparing them. "Oh, that one has a freckle on his left cheek."

They are now 20 and go to separate colleges here in town but still live at home together. Over the years, we've caught a few glimpses of them liking each other and bonding, but for the most part they're just as different as their older brother and not closely bonded just because they're twins.

Just treat them as siblings and not look at them as twins, because those loving twins they portray on TV are few and far between.
ChancesAre is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 06:24 PM   #9
andersonsc
Mouseketeer
 
andersonsc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 165

my twins did not act like twins until the last couple of years. They have an older brother that is just barely 2 yrs older than them. They were always a threesome, so the twins didn't really seem any different than brothers.

When they started kindergarten they didn't get why their twin friends were so upset and crying about being in different classes. Mine had no problem being separated.

Now that the boys are older - 15 and twins 13, the twins seem more attached. The older brother kinda does more of his own thing and the twins gravitate toward each other more. I wonder if some of it has to do with middle school and having each other as a friend at school. I asked one the other day if he would mind having classes with his twin next year when they start high school. He immediately said he'd like to have classes with him. the other twin said he wanted to pick different electives so he wasn't just like his brother. So I guess they have a good sence of self but have always said they like being a twin!
andersonsc is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 06:40 PM   #10
bekkiz
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: WA
Posts: 3,287

I think my guys barely noticed each other until they were close to 1. I really wouldn't give it much thought now. They're still so little!
__________________
bekkiz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 06:54 PM   #11
hellow
Mouseketeer
 
hellow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Corvallis, OR
Posts: 481

My boy/girl twins are 22 now. They went to school together and often would be in the same class together, but for the most part they treated each other as any siblings would. However, as they got into high school, they started to really get along, joking about who was older, being "womb-mates" etc... They are different as can be in looks, personality, everything, but they really do care for each other. They are each other's best protector, and have an unusually strong bond, but it took a while.
hellow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 07:09 PM   #12
Skip2MyLou
Mouseketeer
 
Skip2MyLou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 339

My boys will be 5 months next week. They are opposites personality & physically.

They do not care if they are in the same room or not. They are still pretty indifferent to each other.

They do "coo" at each other once in awhile & that is a lot if fun to watch. Other than that, like you, I am waiting to see that twin bond develop that everyone talks about.
__________________
Me DH DD (4) and Twin boys born October 2012!

Disney College of Knowledge Graduate - June 2013
Skip2MyLou is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 07:18 PM   #13
MnMomtoboys
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Where life is perfect
Posts: 1,204

Its perfectly normal for 8 months old to be indifferent to other babies close to their size.
Its also perfectly normal for C to be scared of E if E crawls over and hits her like normal babies do. They are both learning so much out of the event, only for poor C its not a good lesson. They both will grow out of this. Do you have a playpen that you could put one in for short periods to give the other one a break?
__________________
me dh ds1 ds2 ds3 ds4

MN: The land of 10,000 lakes and at least 1 idiot.
MnMomtoboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 07:27 PM   #14
lemondog
My twins fight over who tooted
I always have the itch!
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,560

My twin girls just turned 9 last week...they still are not best buds and I am not sure they ever will be. Two more different children I have never met. One is all into pink princess, the other I swear is going to be goth. They tolerate each other and sometimes they do play together well but more often than not they are arguing. They have such VASTLY different interests, tastes and styles.
__________________
Me (42), DH (42)

DD1 (13), DD2 (10), DD3 (10) DD4 (2)



I've been pickled! Thanks illuminati!
lemondog is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-02-2013, 07:34 PM   #15
shortbun
Peacenik
 
shortbun's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: The Heart of It All!
Posts: 18,707

I have 3 friends with twins. All the twins have been close. Once, when I slept over at one of their homes, I slept in a bed in their nursery. The twin girls were 8 months old. They woke early in the morning and sat in their cribs 'talking' to each other for almost an hour. I lay there quietly as they talked, their language, for the whole time-amazed. These girls are in their late 20's and live across the country from each other. My good friends who were so close they were documented as mirror image twins, living together into their 50's until one of them died, were often the topic of gossip, they were so close. They finished each other's sentences and dressed alike, as adults. I don't have twins but our friend just had twins through a surrogate. It will be interesting to watch them grow up. If I had one baby constantly dominating the otheer, I might have to step in somehow. What do you do when that happens consistently?
__________________
Keep the Faith!! Peace and Love!!!



USE IT UP, WEAR IT OUT, MAKE IT DO OR DO WITHOUT.

IF YOUR UPKEEP EXCEEDS YOUR INCOME THEN YOUR OUTGO WILL BE YOUR DOWNFALL.
shortbun is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:34 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.