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Old 02-26-2013, 10:08 PM   #1
stardebby
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Child Support

I just need to vent. My DS just found out how much he has to pay in child support to his ex and I can believe how much it is. Don't get me wrong he loves his children and wants to take care of them but, after he pays child support he will barely have enough money to support himself. iffeel
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:32 PM   #2
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In Texas, it's loosely based on income. For 1 child, you pay 20% and it goes up 5% for each additional child in the house until you get to 5, where it plateaus at 40%.
Of course, there are other factors that may lower or raise the amount. Being responsible for children is a heavy commitment, both financially and emotionally. I hope your son doesn't struggle to provide for them or himself.
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:40 PM   #3
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as a single mother of 3 who almost NEVER gets any support from a deadbeat i feel quite differently about this than you do! not all, but A LOT of non-custodial parents think their support comes out of the left over money. you know, after they buy everything they want for themselves we'll see how much is left. then give just a small portion of that left over money for the kids.

i remember my cousin being in a similar situation as your son many years ago. he rented space in a friend's basement for quite a long while because that's all he could afford AFTER paying his child support for 2 kids. child support payment came FIRST, his needs 2nd. he eventually got on his feet and into his own apartment. he always had a good relationship with his kids AND their mother, partly because he always made his payments without any resentment
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:40 PM   #4
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He lives in North Carolina I'm not sure how they figure the amount but, he is really going to have a hard time. Plus the fact I live in Florida and he is pretty much by himself there. All he does is work and every day off he gets the kids so he feels like he had no life. I know divorce is hard on everyone but its breaking my heart to see him suffer.
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:45 PM   #5
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Just my .02, but after working in the child support office for over 15 years- child support is to keep the kids in the lifestyle they are accustomed to, not the non custodial parent. Here in Louisiana it is income based and both parents income is taken into account . Unfortunately it is very expensive to raise kids nowadays .
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:46 PM   #6
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I don't know about anybody else but any time I have ever heard a man talk about their child support payments it has always been to complain about the amount. Always.

My ex was one that, as a previous poster mentioned, considered child support to be something to be paid out what was left. He was a prescription drug addict and actually told the judge that he couldn't pay $200 a month in child support because he had a lot of bills to pay and a lot of prescriptions to buy every month. He told me on more than one occasion that he needed money to live and if the money for child support wasn't there then it just wasn't there and I was going to have to deal with it. Of course he lived with his mother so he didn't have to pay rent, utilities, or food. I didn't feel too bad when I had the county attorney swear out a warrant for his arrest for not paying child support.
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:51 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by stardebby View Post
He lives in North Carolina I'm not sure how they figure the amount but, he is really going to have a hard time. Plus the fact I live in Florida and he is pretty much by himself there. All he does is work and every day off he gets the kids so he feels like he had no life. I know divorce is hard on everyone but its breaking my heart to see him suffer.
I'm sure the mom might feel the same way if she works. And then after work she gets to go home to homework, laundry, dinner....
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:53 PM   #8
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Originally Posted by stardebby View Post
He lives in North Carolina I'm not sure how they figure the amount but, he is really going to have a hard time. Plus the fact I live in Florida and he is pretty much by himself there. All he does is work and every day off he gets the kids so he feels like he had no life. I know divorce is hard on everyone but its breaking my heart to see him suffer.
He has a life....the life of a parent who works and takes care of his kids. I guess he doesn't like that life What kind of life does he want?
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:57 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Turn the Page
I don't know about anybody else but any time I have ever heard a man talk about their child support payments it has always been to complain about the amount. Always.

My ex was one that, as a previous poster mentioned, considered child support to be something to be paid out what was left. He was a prescription drug addict and actually told the judge that he couldn't pay $200 a month in child support because he had a lot of bills to pay and a lot of prescriptions to buy every month. He told me on more than one occasion that he needed money to live and if the money for child support wasn't there then it just wasn't there and I was going to have to deal with it. Of course he lived with his mother so he didn't have to pay rent, utilities, or food. I didn't feel too bad when I had the county attorney swear out a warrant for his arrest for not paying child support.
I am 40 years old now, so this was quite sometime ago, but my parents were divorced when I was six. My dad would voluntarily raise the amount he sent to my mom every few years.... In addition to paying for extras like school trips and sports lessons. So not ALL are jerks.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:01 PM   #10
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He has a life....the life of a parent who works and takes care of his kids. I guess he doesn't like that life What kind of life does he want?



In TN, they have a very fair way of figuring CS. My BIL only has to pay for one of his four kids so I'm sure he is thrilled about his timing in choosing divorce.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:01 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by stardebby
He lives in North Carolina I'm not sure how they figure the amount but, he is really going to have a hard time. Plus the fact I live in Florida and he is pretty much by himself there. <b>All he does is work and every day off he gets the kids so he feels like he had no life </b>. I know divorce is hard on everyone but its breaking my heart to see him suffer.
isn't that what it means to be a parent? I'm married but both my DH and I feel our children are our life!
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:03 PM   #12
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In TN, they have a very fair way of figuring CS. My BIL only has to pay for one of his four kids so I'm sure he is thrilled about his timing in choosing divorce.
Please tell me you're being sarcastic and that he doesn't only have to pay child support for one of four children.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:04 PM   #13
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Don't get me wrong he is very willing to pay child support he just wasn't expecting it to be so much. Trust me he wants to be the best Dad he can be. He just rented a house so both kids could have their own room when they stay with him now he's afraid he can't afford it. Plus we are still dealing with the death of my husband (his father) 7 months ago. I know all you single Moms have a different point of view but, my DS is trying to do the right thing he is just really worried about surviving on what money he has left.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:05 PM   #14
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I am 40 years old now, so this was quite sometime ago, but my parents were divorced when I was six. My dad would voluntarily raise the amount he sent to my mom every few years.... In addition to paying for extras like school trips and sports lessons. So not ALL are jerks.
I would love to find a single guy like that in my age bracket. They are few and far between.

I kid you not I have had to listen to men who don't have kids complain about how much their friends pay in child support. I don't get it.
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Old 02-26-2013, 11:07 PM   #15
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Don't get me wrong he is very willing to pay child support he just wasn't expecting it to be so much. Trust me he wants to be the best Dad he can be. He just rented a house so both kids could have their own room when they stay with him now he's afraid he can't afford it. Plus we are still dealing with the death of my husband (his father) 7 months ago. I know all you single Moms have a different point of view but, my DS is trying to do the right thing he is just really worried about surviving on what money he has left.
He is not going to be able to have the same lifestyle he did when he was married. That is one of the things that come with divorce. Even if the mother works they are now supporting the kids and two households with the same income. Living expenses go up when you divide the household. That's the way it works.
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