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Old 02-25-2013, 03:35 PM   #16
MommaSnowwhite
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Don't worry about other people. I had our 3rd child after 3 long years of infertility. I was 40 (almost 41). My kids were 12 & 10. Some people were really rude about it - I learned to smile and act like having a 3rd child that long after was totally normal.

Enjoy your upcoming bundle of joy & to everyone who doesn't understand.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:37 PM   #17
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Thank you ladies for the encouragement. I seriously need it.

I think people do expect me to "go back to work" in a big way, even though I am currently teaching part time! I even had a family friend tease me by saying I secretly planned this pregnancy to avoid "real work". Right... Crazy talk! Like babies aren't an incredible amount of work? Or maybe the only work that "matters" is work that brings in $$?

Thanks for posting...it helps to know I'm not the only one who's walked this road.
Why is it any of their business whether or not you back to work??? What if you didn't want to ever?

Ignore them. And if they continue to act this way, they don't deserve to be a part of your life.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:51 PM   #18
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Congratulations on your growing family. I was 42 when or 6th baby was born, you are not old!

Currently my 6 range in age from 15 to 2, it isn't always easy having an age spread, but you just make it work. We live in a house that is not quite 2000 sq ft. Everyone has to share a room (DS15 & DS13 in one room, DD9 has her own for now, DS7 & DS4 in one room and DD2 is still in our room. So just because your family if growing doesn't always mean you have to sell your house.
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:56 PM   #19
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Congrats
Hopefully, they were just caught unprepared. They'll probably come around.
My wife was 40 when we had our first and so far only.
People always make assumptions, best to not let it bug you. Easier said than done since its a topic that really tugs at the heart strings of many.
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:52 PM   #20
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Try not to let their negativity dampen your good news! This is wonderful news, a baby regardless of age is always wonderful news IMO. Yet people will always feel the need (and take every opportunity) to comment on you, your bump and eventually your baby. They're small minded so-and-sos! My sister in law had her youngest DD (she has 5 ranging in age from 5-26!) when she was 41. A friend of mine is getting IVF for her first (fingers crossed!) at 40. Other friends of mine had their kids in their early 20s. Different strokes for different folks
Absolutely massive congrats! And wishing you a happy, healthy and safe pregnancy! We might see you at WDW in May
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:55 PM   #21
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My step mom was like that when I got pregnant when ds11 was 1.5. Then that baby was lost at 22 weeks. Three months later when I told them I was pregnant with dd9 they didn't say one negative word. I turned 39 just after she was born.

Now I'm hoping I won't be giving them a heart attack. I had my tubes tied just after dd9's first birthday - on my oldest dd's 21st birthday. I am now 47 and have missed the last 2 months. Please tell me that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I told dh last night that I'll give it another week and I'll buy a test.
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Old 02-25-2013, 05:09 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by WantToGoNow
Now I'm hoping I won't be giving them a heart attack. I had my tubes tied just after dd9's first birthday - on my oldest dd's 21st birthday. I am now 47 and have missed the last 2 months. Please tell me that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I told dh last night that I'll give it another week and I'll buy a test.
At 47 it could be the start of menopause. Your periods can get unpredictable.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:22 PM   #23
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Originally Posted by WantToGoNow View Post
My step mom was like that when I got pregnant when ds11 was 1.5. Then that baby was lost at 22 weeks. Three months later when I told them I was pregnant with dd9 they didn't say one negative word. I turned 39 just after she was born.

Now I'm hoping I won't be giving them a heart attack. I had my tubes tied just after dd9's first birthday - on my oldest dd's 21st birthday. I am now 47 and have missed the last 2 months. Please tell me that I couldn't possibly be pregnant. I told dh last night that I'll give it another week and I'll buy a test.

I think everyone here would agree that a baby is a special blessing, no matter when it comes! Sending warm thoughts and prayers for you!

Thanks to everyone for the kind words of support & your stories. You have no idea how good it is to hear each one!!! I've got to keep my head on straight though this pregnancy & not let sour reactions sway me from the truth: our baby is a blessing.
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:01 PM   #24
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If you and your family are excited- that is what is important.

DD # 3 was born when I was almost 40 (and no she was not an oops). This year, I have 1 in Medical School, 1 in college and 1 in preschool. Now that is crazy But it works for us and we are happy!

(And some people just do not understand why anyone needs to go to Disney more than 1x. I live 30 minutes from the Jersey Shore and do not get why people would want to spend vacation there for the same price as a Disney trip )
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:07 PM   #25
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How incredibly rude and thoughtless! What a huge loss for them if you rightfully so did not include them in your little miracles' life. I am 48, raising our 6 year old. While I did not give birth to him, we have pretty much had him for 6 years and I think we are doing a darn good job! We have quite a few friends in their 40's with preschool-kindergarten age kids and they make great parents and the kids have the added wonderful gift of older siblings! Just enjoy the pregnancy and your little one!
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Old 02-25-2013, 08:13 PM   #26
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Congratulations on this new baby! What a joy
Our kids are very spread out...and all planned.
I was 23 when my first baby was born, and turned 41 right after our 4th baby was born.
I love the age difference we have in our kids. We have one that just got married this past July, one that will start college in the fall, one that will start high school in the fall, and one that will start kindergarten in the fall. We are very blessed.

Dont let the family dampen your excitement. When we told our family we were having our 4th, they were truely shocked, but happy. Our oldest dd was a senior in high school when we found out and she cried her eyes out at first. She was just so shocked. She and our youngest have the closest bond ever and the oldest is so much in love with her. Most people think that she is our youngest childs mother. I was even offered a grandparent discount at Carters outlet when oldest DD and I were with the little one shopping...LOL

Our 3rd has been quite the challenge and people thought we would never have another.
Our 4th has been such a blessing and such an easy child.

Be prepared for all the AMA (advanced maternal age) attached to your charts and lots of offers of tons of tests. We opted not to have a lot of them, as test results wouldnt have changed our minds about this baby.
Enjoy this baby and ignore those who cant be happy for you!
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Old 02-26-2013, 07:43 AM   #27
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Sorry you have to go through this. Family and friends can say things and not realize the words can hurt. We have 7 and trust me it doesn't get any easier. It has come to the point that I don't tell the negative ones til I am much farther along and have been able to have my excitement. You guys know in your hearts what your doing and it is something you are happy about.

Congratulations.
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Old 02-26-2013, 07:49 AM   #28
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Hugs to you--enjoy this baby and do not worry about the negative comments. Blessings to you and your family.
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Old 02-26-2013, 09:49 AM   #29
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If you and your dh and children are all thrilled,then that's all that matters.

Congratulations,babies are a blessing.

The majority of my family reacted negatively to all my pregnancy announcements.
First dd- i was young,and she was not planned,but she's a gift and here for a reason. Not the worst news in the world,as one very close family member described it as.

Second dd- we should've waited longer- why?!!

Ds- why do you want another child,already got 2-that's more than enough! Really- is it your business?!

The same way,I don't criticize or question others how they spend their money (we also get the never-ending snidey comments on vacationing at wdw),I would never comment on how many children people have/don't have in their families.
Quite simply,it's no-one else's business.
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:02 AM   #30
dlove28
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* (1) here comes baby! (2) Our kids are thrilled. (3) My husband is thrilled, absolutely happy. A new baby is just more love, he says.
I'm sure you know this already, but those are the only three things you need to worry about - Having a healthy baby on the way and that you, your husband and your kids are happy. Good for you all!!

Now that being said, of course not having your family be excited for you right away is not easily ignored and can be downright hurtful. Give them some time to get used to it. Maybe you struggled with the first two (financially, emotionally?) and they are worried about the third? Maybe they are worried that as you are on the older end of the spectrum (but not old) they are worried about health problems? Give it some time, if they warm up let bygones be bygones and focus your positive energy on the baby. If they don't you will need to sit down and voice your frustration at their opinions (easier said then done).

You are not old. But you are on the older end of the spectrum so unfortunately you will get comments from friends and even complete strangers on it. I don't know what is about being pregnant that make people think they can cross all sorts of social boundaries. My wife and I have tons of stories (positive ones too). We have fraternal twins and even now strangers come up to us and ask completely snarky, "Oh, are they natural?" Like that's their business! Just once I wish I could be rude enough to snap back with "No, they're supernatural, my wife and sex with a ghost - moron" just to see their reaction. Anyway, I use that example as we have had a 42 yr old friend who was preggers and got that question I presume because of her age.

Anyway, my rambling point is that do your best to ignore the idiots of the world and enjoy your new addition.
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