Age of independence on board?

[Minnie321]

We cruised for the first time two weeks ago and I felt the same way - I have two children DD11 and DS15 - wasn't really worried about my DS (funny thing is he stayed in the Vibe more and DD became the wanderer). I did end up letting my DD check herself in and out - but we had rules: never ever ever go to anyones stateroom and as a matter of fact never be in the halls where the staterooms are unless you are on your way back to ours - which she was not allowed to do without someone in our room; Never bring anyone to our stateroom; they both had to call me if whenever they were moving from one location to another (which DD took a little extreme - once she had called and said they were going to the pool - then she called to tell me she was going to get a drink - on the same deck - but hey at least she was following my rules). It really turned out Ok - funny thing is my DD is very shy, and not one to spend alot of time at other people's houses and would certainly never spend the night out - she is just a nervous child like that - the weekend we returned she spent the night out for the first time - I actually think that little bit of freedom helped her realize that she didn't have to be so worried not to be around me all the time. Disney Cruise was good therapy - that is how I justified booking another one - just joking!!

[DynamicDisneyDuo]

Originally Posted by Jareds_mommy

We are struggling this cruise with this too, Its not the my kids I am worried about, it is the fact that psycho and pedophils
go on cruises too

And they teach in schools, work/shop in the same stores, coach kid's sports, hold leadership positions in churches. If the kids are young, absolutely have rules and not allow them too much freedom. Eventually, they have to learn that there is bad in the world and how to avoid or deal with it when it comes calling.

Kids aren't the only ones who have to fear "psychos." Someone acting violently due to mental illness is far less likely to be discriminate about their targets than pedophiles.

[luv2sleep]

At a certain age (not there yet) I'd feel comfortable with my son's ability to get around safely. However, I don't know when I'd be comfortable doing that given the possibility of pedophiles on board. Take them (pedophiles) out of the equation and I could see giving him freedom to roam the ship for brief periods of time at around 9/10.

[sunryzez]

I do not think you will feel any pressure to let your kids go off on their own. My dd is almost 11 and I would not allow her to sign herself in or out or go anywhere on the ship by herself. She has adhd and I know would wonder off where she shouldn't and the ship is WAY too big for her. However our friends came with us and her boy is only 9 and she allowed him to sign in and out and he did just fine. And, my daughter never once asked why he could do it and she couldnt. I told her the rules going into it and she was so happy to be on the cruise she didnt care.
I also worry about other passengers as well, you never know who is on the ship and I would not feel comfortable letting my kids go off on their own until I knew they would be able to handle any situation without an adult present.

[Lobofan5]

My kids were 11 and 14 on our first cruise and we saw them for meals and excursions. My 11 DS loved the kids club so much he skipped Costa Maya and stayed aboard all day.

My only rule was that they were to stay away from railings. No climbing..sitting..anything near the rails (oddly enough falling overboard was my only concern)

On our next cruise they will be 14 and 17 and I'm going to add in the 'no stateroom' rule that I read about here. Great idea.

[tinkerbell 766]

My son will be 13 and a half on our cruise and will be given some freedoms with rules. He will be allowed to check himself in and out of the Edge - provided he keeps in touch with us, via the wavephones, and let's us know where he is (and who with) all the time. He will have ground rules too. The most important being you never enter anybody else's cabin and allow NOBODY to enter ours without us being present.
We live in a very safe small village in rural England and, although DS is used to certain freedoms, he is also aware of the acute dangers that some adults can present. He would never allow himself to be alone with an adult or engage in social interaction with adults he doesn't know (except the likes of policemen, teachers or in the case of the cruise, youth councillors).
I feel it is you who knows your children best, and depending on their age and personalities, maybe a cruise may be a good opportunity to allow them small freedoms in a relatively controlled environment.
Sometimes, when a child is of a certain age and nature, one can do more harm by clinging on too tight, and one needs to safely, gradually and sensibly begin to let go. This is the stage I am at with my son, but I really do not feel I am 'giving up my parenting skills' during the cruise. Quite the contrary, in fact I am using them to help my son move gradually on to the next stage of his life.

[momto2js]

My oldest is 6, and is starting to earn a little independence a bit at a time at home. He now walks home from the bus instead of me standing outside waiting for him. We travel frequently and have moved a lot so he is pretty good in new situations. For him, after a few days, I could see him going somewhere specific to get something while I waited somewhere else.

In the future, when he has more freedom, I have considered printing tee shirts that say "if my behavior is bothering you, please call XXXXX" on the back. And making him aware that my phone better not ring!!!

[lady9]

On our first cruise DD was 10 and loved the kids club. We did not give her sign out privileges at that time. We planned for the same thing last year when she was 11. However, she outgrew the clubs and fit in better at Edge which does not have any sign in/out, kids are free to come and go as pleased. Fortunately we were on the Magic and our stateroom was just down the hall from Edge. We made a rule she stayed in Edge or went to our Stateroom but called up to let us know she was going there so we could meet her. Toward the middle of the cruise we did allow her to go with friends to get ice cream then straight back to Edge. It was a bit nerve racking when she was out of our sight and was not quite the relaxing cruise we had hoped for. This summer we will be on the Fantasy. Since Edge is in one of the funnels, I'm not sure how we will handle her coming and going. We have all the rules in place like other posters have said, but you can never be too careful IMO. I think sometimes you just have to get there and see how your child does with some freedom, start slow, you can always give them more freedom as the week goes on if you feel it is appropriate.

[PaceFamily]

Our son was 11 when we went on our first cruise. We decided to allow him the ability to "run" the ship but had rules. No eating ice cream all day, nowhere by yourself, keep in touch via the wave phone, and follow the rules.

We were disappointed to discover that he did break some of the rules. Ate ice cream 3 times in the first day. This was discovered because he didn't want to eat at dinner. Also, he went to the pool with some friends from the club. Found out he (and the others) were doing flips into the pool.

Needless to say he lost some of his freedom. Agree with others. You will need to base the level of freedom on your child. How much responsibility do they show. Our son had a great time even with the limits and we will try this again on the upcoming cruise. He says he learned his lesson.

[mammacaryn]

You know your kid.

Give them the freedoms you would at home.
This is a floating town, a town you are visiting. There will be all kinds of folks, good and bad. Disney "pixie" dust doesn't keep the bad away.
That being said I would probably consider some freedom on the ship once my kids were at least pre teen----11 or 12 maybe. Definitely not before that.

I also wouldn't allow my kids to roam the mall alone before that age.

You know what it right for your family.

[sweetlovin']

You know, I never thought about this before. Mainly because my kids say, "Can we go watch a movie or can we go to the pool?" I've never heard, "Can I go..."

My 13yo might end up saying this (only my 10 and 8yo have been on the cruises) When he was reading the Navigators I brought home, he did mention doing the sports deck activities in the Edge. I just told him next cruise (which won't be for a while) we'll have to synchronize our watches.

[luv2sleep]

Originally Posted by mammacaryn

You know your kid.

Give them the freedoms you would at home.
This is a floating town, a town you are visiting. There will be all kinds of folks, good and bad. Disney "pixie" dust doesn't keep the bad away.
That being said I would probably consider some freedom on the ship once my kids were at least pre teen----11 or 12 maybe. Definitely not before that.

I also wouldn't allow my kids to roam the mall alone before that age.

You know what it right for your family.

Good analogy about the mall. I live in a quiet middle to upper class suburb. Some creep assaulted an 11 yo in the mall bathroom here. A parent was at the mall but let the child go to the bathroom alone. Definitely not an unusual age for that. However, this unfortunate thing happened. i think the child was a boy. Another boy was 8/9 when his mom let him go into the beach bathroom at a local beach here. Some creep assaulted and killed him with his mom standing right outside. She didn't hear anything. I will rethink the age now since what you said triggered these memories

[JimmyJackJunior]

My daughter was 8 when we went to Alaska and got the run of the ship. She had her wave phone at all time. We are going to Europe this summer and it is going to be a no for my 7 year old son as he has not shown the ability to make good decisions yet. All depends on the kid.

[k3chantal]

Originally Posted by dastewa

At what age would you let your kids roam the ship on their own? I have read several post where families reunited for meals after letting the kids be on their own. Is this the norm? I would tend to keep the kids with us, but if there is a lot of independent kids, I know I'll get pressure from mine to do the same.

I would never imagine that we would have allowed our 11 year old son the freedom we allowed him on the ship. But, he was great about informing us through the wave phone where and what he was doing and always came back exactly at the time we requested. Our one rule was that he had to eat dinner with us and give himself time to dress appropriately.

You have to do what feels comfortable for you and your child. That specific son is very responsible and mature for his age and I knew he would not push his boundaries and do anything inappropriate. My middle child would not want this freedom and we will not encourage it even though he will the same age of his brother when he was allowed to roam on our next cruise.

Good luck and I hope you enjoy your trip!

[pjacobi]

Even Cinderella had a curfew!

It's usually safe to grant kids some independence at 2PM.

Bad things usually happen when kids are running around at 2AM.


-Paul