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Old 02-21-2013, 11:37 PM   #1
clh2
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Mixed feelings tonight...about DD's summer job

DD is finishing up her first year at college. She is 4.5 hours away. I was really looking forward to having her home this summer. As I figured that she will probably want to do something abroad a different summer, and hopefully an internship the next summer.

So - she found out tonight - she will be a student aid for her school's summer orientation this year. This is a fabulous opportunity for DD. While not related to her major at all - this job will give her memories and many experiences (i.e. dealing with parents, dealing with students and dealing with the administration of her school.) This is a big deal. The orientation program this school has is phenomonal. The student aids kind co-teach a class in the fall semester for the incoming freshman too.

Getting to the "mixed feelings". I just thought we would get to have DD home one last summer, and it isn't going to happen. Don't get me wrong - I am REALLY excited for her. I've just envisioned the summer a little differently!
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Old 02-21-2013, 11:43 PM   #2
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DD is finishing up her first year at college. She is 4.5 hours away. I was really looking forward to having her home this summer. As I figured that she will probably want to do something abroad a different summer, and hopefully an internship the next summer.

So - she found out tonight - she will be a student aid for her school's summer orientation this year. This is a fabulous opportunity for DD. While not related to her major at all - this job will give her memories and many experiences (i.e. dealing with parents, dealing with students and dealing with the administration of her school.) This is a big deal. The orientation program this school has is phenomonal. The student aids kind co-teach a class in the fall semester for the incoming freshman too.

Getting to the "mixed feelings". I just thought we would get to have DD home one last summer, and it isn't going to happen. Don't get me wrong - I am REALLY excited for her. I've just envisioned the summer a little differently!
Congrats to your daughter! But as the mom of a college freshman, I know how disappointed you are that your time with your DD is fleeting.

I have been thinking of making summer plans, but am waiting to see if we can be worked into DSs summer schedule. He, at this point, plans to work again at the local waterpark for spending $$ and be home. But as I know DS he has already adjusted to being on his own at college and even if he's home this summer, it will be different than before.
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Old 02-21-2013, 11:59 PM   #3
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I can relate. My son is a college sophomore and interned in San Francisco all last summer. He had one week total of vacation! I thought he would be in San Fran again this summer, an easy 6 hour drive north, but now he has an offer in New York City! Yikes! I hope he chooses California.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:43 AM   #4
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Congrats to you and your dd!!!
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:27 AM   #5
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I feel your pain. BUT....my dd was asked to be part of a program similar to this. She would be there for accepted students day, open houses, orientation during the late spring/early summer. She would have been there before the freshmen arrived and then helped them out as they arrived.
But, she said no. There were things that she really wanted to do over the summer. She does have a job at camp that pays her very well...and it's only for 5 or 6 weeks, so she does get to spend time with us, which is nice.
BUT, I can't help but feel that she missed a wonderful opportunity to do something outside her comfort zone, that would have had her meeting new people.
So, sure, be sad that your dd won't be home with you, but be glad that she is doing something so worthwhile!!!!
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:52 AM   #6
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Congrats to your DD, that is awesome.

I can relate to your disappointment but can I just throw something in here.

After my son was away for his Freshman year he returned home for the summer and while I loved having him at home he made me crazy his hours, his mess, his taking over the house etc. I counted down the days to when school started and for his Sophomore year we put him into year round (12 month) student housing.

Do not get me wrong, I love that boy more than just about anything but as is intended with going away to college, the "boy" we sent off to college was becomming a young man and our family structure completely changed. We adjusted and adapted to his absence and his reappearance actually messed up the new routines and flow our smaller family unit had established.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:07 AM   #7
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I feel your pain. I also have oldest DD as a freshman in college this year. Because of the way her HS programs worked and the fact that she wanted to continue dance through her senior year she was never able to actually have a job until college. She applied for what she considered a dream job at a facility on campus and was honestly just excited to be shown what she was at the facility when she filled out her application. Practically went into orbit when she got the job. We were thrilled and so proud of her.

A month or so into the job she discovered that they need her there over school breaks and over the summer. Not quite what had been planned. They will have to pry her dead body out of there at this point to get her to give up the job. What began as a great entry level job with quite a bit of responsibility for someone even a few years older than her at a facility sure to attract some attention on her resume in the future has quickly transitioned into her being in great demand and working with several different research teams working on different aspects of the project. She's impressed enough people that she has been invited to keep an eye out for aspects of the project that she's willing to take lead responsibiiity for -- which would mean her name will appear on the paper when the research gets published.

We're so proud of her and cannot believe her good luck, but it was quite a whammy late last fall when I realized my girl is probably never truly coming home again. Funny how you don't realize when you raise them to work hard and dream big and keep reaching that you'll wind up cheering their success through tears.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:23 AM   #8
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Congrats to your daughter but I can understand how you feel. My daughter is a freshman too and she will be coming home this summer because she found a job as a day camp counselor here at home but I know the day is coming when she won't come home for summers anymore. Too soon! How did she grow up so fast?
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:03 AM   #9
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I am sorry but congratulations to her. That is really awesome.

So maybe you can plan a week end or two where you go visit her and spend time there instead. That way you can still see her and spend time with her
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:07 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamacatnv View Post
Congrats to your DD, that is awesome.

I can relate to your disappointment but can I just throw something in here.

After my son was away for his Freshman year he returned home for the summer and while I loved having him at home he made me crazy his hours, his mess, his taking over the house etc. I counted down the days to when school started and for his Sophomore year we put him into year round (12 month) student housing.

Do not get me wrong, I love that boy more than just about anything but as is intended with going away to college, the "boy" we sent off to college was becomming a young man and our family structure completely changed. We adjusted and adapted to his absence and his reappearance actually messed up the new routines and flow our smaller family unit had established.
You know...I heard parents saying this type thing and thought (quite smugly I might add) to myself..."oh, that won't be us and our dd. She's so wonderful we will always want her to come home.' Yeah, right!!!! Yes, I love having her home for short periods..going to get her tomorrow and then back to school on Monday afternoon (she has mono and needs some 'home' time), but for the entire summer???? College is nature's way of having us shove their terrific little behinds out of the family nest!!! I thought I was happy to see her go to college after her senior year in high school!!! Nothing compared to now!!!
Hard to think of our 'babies' as adults, but in all reality??? Exactly what they are.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:55 AM   #11
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You know...I heard parents saying this type thing and thought (quite smugly I might add) to myself..."oh, that won't be us and our dd. She's so wonderful we will always want her to come home.' Yeah, right!!!! Yes, I love having her home for short periods..going to get her tomorrow and then back to school on Monday afternoon (she has mono and needs some 'home' time), but for the entire summer???? College is nature's way of having us shove their terrific little behinds out of the family nest!!! I thought I was happy to see her go to college after her senior year in high school!!! Nothing compared to now!!!
Hard to think of our 'babies' as adults, but in all reality??? Exactly what they are.
I would never have thought it either. I was practically devastated when he left for school and heck, his dorm was 8 miles away.

He Graduates in May and a year ago, MY DH, Myself and DD followed my job 2000 miles to Central Texas. Now, I really miss him since he stayed behind to finish school.

During the course of his college career he would come home to "unwind" for a few days at the end of every semester and during breaks. Unwind meant, Mom will wait in me hand and foot, get my laundry all caught up, feed me all my favorite things for about 3 days and then boot my butt back to school! This worked out well.

We brought him home one year for a week due to flu - that boy was sick. The entire family took turns taking care of him. When he was deemed, well enough to travel, we booted him back to school

Yes, I do think that college is a way for us to boot them out of the nest. I know it was the best thing we ever did for him and for us.

Funny thing, DS has applied to a grad school here in Central Texas, he has been invited for a personal interview and will be here for that in a few weeks. After I got over my excitement for him, my next immediate thought was "oh crap, if he gets accepted, does that mean he would be moving back home?"
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:13 AM   #12
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When she left for college I was mourning a bit (inside) about the realization that once she left it would never truly be the same again. After watching what some of my friends have gone through when theirs came home summers or moved home after graduation & watching the family struggle or go through growing pains learning how to truly cohabitate together again, I realized a certain chapter in our family story was closing because we were on to a new phase in life.

I admit now I'm a little pouty that I'm not gonna get a chance to prove how evolved and zen our family is that we could have handled her summer home so effortlessly. Who knows, maybe we dodged a bullet there. Gotta accept it either way.
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Old 02-22-2013, 08:58 PM   #13
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OP here -

Thanks all! At least you all understand how I feel...

I am now accepting the consolation prize - no need to learn how to function with an adult child living back in the house for the summer.

And - DD found out a little more about the summer schedule today. The orientations do not start until after Memorial Day, so she might be home for a little bit after the semester ends. Then - she is off the week of July 4th, and the orientations are done at the end of July - so she will be home for about 2-3 weeks in August.

Again - I am really excited for our DD, it has just been fun to watch the young woman she is becoming! And, she is really excited about this opportunity.
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:07 PM   #14
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OP here -

Thanks all! At least you all understand how I feel...

I am now accepting the consolation prize - no need to learn how to function with an adult child living back in the house for the summer.

And - DD found out a little more about the summer schedule today. The orientations do not start until after Memorial Day, so she might be home for a little bit after the semester ends. Then - she is off the week of July 4th, and the orientations are done at the end of July - so she will be home for about 2-3 weeks in August.

Again - I am really excited for our DD, it has just been fun to watch the young woman she is becoming! And, she is really excited about this opportunity.
Sounds like you will be getting the best of both worlds. Congrats again!
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:07 AM   #15
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It has happened to us with ds2. He came home his first summer to work. After that he has worked for a couple of profs on their research projects and only comes home for a little bit between semesters and for some weekends about once a month.

He graduated last May and has been working on his master's as a grad assistant since then. He even got his own apartment off campus. He comes home for holidays and spends some time but loves being at his apartment and on campus.

We were a little sad at first but we have adjusted. If he gets too busy and can't make it home for a full weekend we will drive down and meet him for lunch or even meet half way to have lunch.
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