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Old 02-22-2013, 12:01 PM   #91
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Originally Posted by ilovedisney1982 View Post
Glitz pageants teach poise, passion, and grace! What is the big fuss?!
If a young girl needs to learn poise, passion and grace, there are dozens of ways to do this without entering in a pageant that emphasizes superficial appearances and imposes an adult standard of beauty on a child. Consider instead dance, gymnastics, or figure skating if you want her to learn (physical) grace. For passion, choose any challenging activity - a sport, a musical instrument, a foreign language. Anything that gets a girl a little obsessed. And for poise, model good manners and good diction, join something like debate or Model U.N., take a service position (church? volunteer at retirement home?), or hell, put her in a charm academy.

Basically, teach your daughter to develop interests, to be social, to be kind, and to be proud of herself and her skilled (i.e., not superficial) accomplishments. Don't waste her time (and your money) on activities that reward shallowness, superficiality, and lack of brains and hard work. That's no way to go through life.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:01 PM   #92
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New rule in cheer: Everybody except seniors must have full top uniforms. No more crop tops for the little ones. And there is a rule on the length of skirts/shorts. So, you can't use competitive cheer as an example.
Oh, ok. Did not know that. Learn something new everyday.

I must say though, wouldn't the crop tops be LESS revealing on the little ones? The seniors have more to reveal. How long do the shorts/skirts have to be?

I don't have a thing in the world against competitive cheer, btw.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:03 PM   #93
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Originally Posted by Hrhpd

New rule in cheer: Everybody except seniors must have full top uniforms. No more crop tops for the little ones. And there is a rule on the length of skirts/shorts. So, you can't use competitive cheer as an example.
That's good! I'm glad they set restrictions.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:06 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by Hrhpd View Post
New rule in cheer: Everybody except seniors must have full top uniforms. No more crop tops for the little ones. And there is a rule on the length of skirts/shorts. So, you can't include competitive cheer in there.
What about the exceedingly vulgar dance moves, any indication that those are going to be outlawed? No, I guess not. Times have really changed since I was in high school, that's for sure. Honestly, the last time I went to a high school football game I was totally shocked at how vulgar the cheerleaders were. I don't know how the football players are able to concentrate on the game, not to mention all the middle aged dads in the stands sitting there watching that stuff. I wouldn't want my daughter to do it. It's truly horrible.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:11 PM   #95
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Originally Posted by luvsJack View Post
Oh, ok. Did not know that. Learn something new everyday.

I must say though, wouldn't the crop tops be LESS revealing on the little ones? The seniors have more to reveal. How long do the shorts/skirts have to be?

I don't have a thing in the world against competitive cheer, btw.
That is actually an ongoing debate Many of the teams are not liking the crop top rule for those exact reasons.

I have to look it up, but I think the new rules that are going into effect state that a skirt must be a minimum of 2 inches below the bottom. And shorts have to have a minimum of a 2" inseam. But I am not positive on that one. Our gym is pretty conservative, so we don't have the teeny skirts that some do, so haven't paid much attention.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:13 PM   #96
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What about the exceedingly vulgar dance moves, any indication that those are going to be outlawed? No, I guess not. Times have really changed since I was in high school, that's for sure. Honestly, the last time I went to a high school football game I was totally shocked at how vulgar the cheerleaders were. I don't know how the football players are able to concentrate on the game, not to mention all the middle aged dads in the stands sitting there watching that stuff. I wouldn't want my daughter to do it. It's truly horrible.
This is not high school cheer. They have their own rules.

The rules we have are for All-star cheer which does have limits on the types of moves that can be done. All-star cheer is very, very different from high school cheer as you don't ever cheer for a team or are associated with one.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:16 PM   #97
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You can blame TLC for increased criticism. That Honey Boo Boo show is a blight on society.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:20 PM   #98
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2 or 3 months? Seriously? I don't think there is anything wrong with it if your daughter really seems to like it, and really wants to do it, but otherwise I certainly wouldn't push it on her, and I certainly wouldn't do more than maybe 2 or 3 a year tops. If you have one every other week, I would say that ain't cosher, but that's just me.

Overall I think pageant stuff is a little superficial, its a little me me me, look at how pretty I am, love me, want me, pay attention to me me me me. Or at least it teaches that and emphasizes superficial stuff. I think it can be a danger to that extent. However, if your daughter is drop dead gorgeous, really into it, really wants to use her "talent" for pageants, thinks she can rack up and win a bunch and eventually go on to compete in Ms. State then Ms. America, sure why not. If however, she is not really cut out for it, I think pushing something like that on her is dangerous to damaging her self esteem down the road.

You need to make sure this is really about her and not about you.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:20 PM   #99
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OP, are you having feelings of wanting to be done with pageants? When your twins are born, you are going to be experiencing a whole new world and doing pageants may not even be feasible. Maybe your questioning of the whole thing is as much about your own involvement in the process as it is about your daughter's.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:22 PM   #100
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I'm not 100% sure if DD fully enjoys them, but she is very happy when she wins. She sends me mixed feeling. Screams and kicks like a 5 year old before practice but shows up on pageant say and rocks it! I don't know. She has basically been raised in pageants...
Having been "basically raised in pageants", she probably thinks that this is just how life is - you practice, go to a pageant, go home and start all over again getting ready for the next one. Is pageant life all she knows? Does she have any other activities outside of pageants that she enjoys? If alternatives have never been presented to her, she might not even know that she has options.

You can tell her all you want that all she has to do is come to you if she wants to stop, but she may feel bad about saying anything to you, especially if you live for these pageants. More than anything, kids don't want to disappoint their parents.

If you're really curious how she feels about pageants, offer to put her into another activity.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:23 PM   #101
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That is actually an ongoing debate Many of the teams are not liking the crop top rule for those exact reasons.

I have to look it up, but I think the new rules that are going into effect state that a skirt must be a minimum of 2 inches below the bottom. And shorts have to have a minimum of a 2" inseam. But I am not positive on that one. Our gym is pretty conservative, so we don't have the teeny skirts that some do, so haven't paid much attention.
That sounds like a good measurement. Short enough to not get in the way of their jumps and stunts but long enough to cover the necessary parts.

We have ongoing debates about costumes in Show Choir too. Sometimes I think directors from the different schools are going to come to blows over it
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:28 PM   #102
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This is not high school cheer. They have their own rules.

The rules we have are for All-star cheer which does have limits on the types of moves that can be done. All-star cheer is very, very different from high school cheer as you don't ever cheer for a team or are associated with one.
I see - thanks for the clarification. It sounds like whoever is in charge of the high school cheerleaders needs to take a cue from your group.

I really feel that it is inappropriate for teenage girls to dance around like that in tiny outfits in front of a bunch of men and boys. This is a private school, and I honestly don't know how they are getting away with it. My daughter says it's even worse at the pep rallies, to the point that she finds it embarrassing. We're not uptight prudes or anything, but these quasi-stripper routines are just beyond the pale.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:47 PM   #103
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You can blame TLC for increased criticism. That Honey Boo Boo show is a blight on society.
Blame the Jon benet murder. Watching that sweet girl be encouraged to act like a vamp was horrible.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:58 PM   #104
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Originally Posted by Granny square

Blame the Jon benet murder. Watching that sweet girl be encouraged to act like a vamp was horrible.
That is when I first remember pageants coming under fire.

Before that we knew about them, but we just felt pity on those that did them.
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:12 PM   #105
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I smell a troll, but ....

The problem is you are sexualizing your young child and teaching her superficial values. You are painting a small child up to look like a 30 year old prostitute and telling her that it is okay to judge people based on appearance. Appearance that they don't even have because they are painted, teased, extended, bonded, and acryliced. It is very shallow.

I want my girls to be accomplished and proud of the things for which they have worked. There are so many other worthwhile things that could teach your child poise and grace, as well as pride in themselves for doing something other than painting themselves up and shaking their tush.

Dance, music, art, sports....

...and think about what is it in you that feels the need to paint, tease up, and spray paint your daughter and display her at such a young age that she doesn't even know what she is doing or can possibly have any say in it?
You know, I have to admit that this is how I feel about it as well. When my daughter was little, I occasionally had people approach me about putting her in pageants. I was always polite but told them that just wasn't my thing.

I will acknowledge that when my daughter was 18 she decided to do the Fairest of the Fair competition, but even with that, she did it in a borrowed dress (no cost involved! ). She won, and we overheard one of the other contestants (rather loudly) complaining to anyone within earshot that it wasn't fair that (DD's name) won because she didn't even do anything special with her hair (worn long and simple - no poof or big hair involved, I'm afraid LOL). This girl did pageants from time to time, but she was definitely lacking any poise and grace.



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She is 10...does she REALLY scream and kick like a 5 year when asked to practice??

I have 3 girls who all are very involved in different things

DD 19 dances...now on her college dance team...but has danced since she was 3. She NEVER kicked and screamed when it was time to go to dance...were there times she didn't feel like going..I am sure there was..but I do not remember..she loved it.

dd17 shows dogs...she started when she was about 9...I let her pick how many shows she wanted and in the beginning she would do 1 day over the weekend..now she wants to go to every show possible...again..never screamed and kicked when asked to go work with her dog.

DD13 is our softball player, she has played (starting with Tball) since she was 6. You can't keep this kid off the field. She is chomping at the bit right now waiting for her middle school to hold try outs. Again..not one to fight us to take her to practice.

All my girls picked activities THEY ENJOY and dh and I support them...along with our family and friends.

I KNOW my girls love their activites, and if I was so unsure...we would be having a sit down and honestly discussing how they felt.I have no problems traveling all over for them..but only if THEY wanted it and LOVED it
Same experience here. My daughter got herself up at 6 in the mornings during the summers (and she is NOT a morning person) so she could work her horses before it got too hot for them. There were many nights that she was out in the hallway of the barn practicing showmanship when it was below freezing temperatures.

I never ONCE told her to go work her horses in all those years. It was her passion and still is. She recently started back showing after taking a break for pharmacy school.

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Ugh. I can't imagine being a grandparent and watching my granddaughter be made into a, well, can't say, so that men could ogle her and women judge her. That makes me sick to my stomach.
I have to agree with this as well. I would feel the same way.


OP, I do have one question to ask. I may have missed it, but I haven't seen anything about the girl's father (if there really is a girl which I tend to doubt ) and how he feels about it?
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