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Old 02-22-2013, 09:20 AM   #61
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I agree with the majority of the previous posters. I do not like pageants for young kids at all. I will admit, I do like to watch the Miss America pageant for the entertainment value. I still think it is disturbing but at least it isn't for young kids.

When DD was a baby whenever I saw one particular mother while doing the day care run she would always tell me I should put her in pageants because she was so cute. Ummm.....no. I think they are disturbing at best and disgusting and damaging at worst. I see absolutely no redeeming qualities in pageants for anyone under the age of about 16 and even then the only redeeming quality is scholarship money but I suspect if the parents had saved all the cash they had spent over the years on putting their kids in pageants they would have double or triple the money the kid won in scholarships anyway.

It's a waste of time and money and has got to be a massive self esteem killer.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:26 AM   #62
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I guess parents have to ask themselves why they're putting their kids in pageants. Is it really for the kid's benefit? I can't see much point in them. I also agree they are a waste of time and money. That money would be better invested in the kids' future eduation. I think it sends a bad message to kids about their worth.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:33 AM   #63
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Originally Posted by ilovedisney1982 View Post
Okay, so lately, I have been getting lots of criticism as to entering my daughter in pageants. It has always been that way. DH's parents disapprove and my parents couldn't hate it more. What is so bad about glitz pageants?! People saying that Toddlers and Tiaras is a prequel to Sixteen and Pregnant?! That is an extremely stereotypical show. Toddlers and Tiaras is MEANT to make parents look crazy. Glitz pageants teach poise, passion, and grace! What is the big fuss?! Just about every girl in Sherwood has competed in at least 5 or 6 pageants. AT LEAST. I'm pretty sure DD likes them. We have been doing the since she was about 2 or 3 months old. What is the big fuss?!?! Seriously, why am I getting criticized for this?? Is it only me?!?!
Short answer....because you talk about it.

Stop talking about it! Problem solved.

If they ask, blow off the question.

You have to use self discipline and resist the urge to talk about your dd and pageants with people that disapprove of them, esp. with your parents and IL's.

Zip it.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:40 AM   #64
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I think pageants are the ultimate form of attention seeking behavior for PARENTS. I find them disgusting, particularly the idea that there are men who attend these pageants and ENJOY them. Gross!

Nothing good ever came from beauty pageants. Nothing.

And, yeah, I totally agree that participation in these types of pageants will likely lead to "16 and pregnant" scenarios in the future. Why would that be such a stretch? These girls spend their childhoods being rewarded for looking a certain way. When they stop doing pageants, they are going to look for another way to get the attention they are used to. And, lucky for them, they already have a lot of practice dressing "sexy."

Parents who do this are pathetic. In every way.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:41 AM   #65
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I never agree with the "doing such and such for the scholarships" argument.

You have no guarantee that spending $15000 a year on a sport or activity is going to lead to a scholarship. If you invested that money over 10 years you'd be guaranteed to have enough for college.

Now if the child truly loves doing something and you have the means to pay for it, then I think it's ok to spend what you can afford on it. And if your kid is one of the lucky ones to get a scholarship from it? Bonus!

Pagents also have a low investment/return ratio. Yes, your kid won $500-$2000 dollars. You probably spent $5000 to get that $2000 when you factor in the cost of costumes, makeup, flippers, hairpieces, travel, and coaching.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:42 AM   #66
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DD has never done pageants, so I don't know that much about them but I am going to guess that Toddlers and Tiaras is as "factual" about the pageant world as Dance Moms is about the world of competitive dance.

As for the make-up, hair, etc.--all that is done in dance from the time they are very young. (or at least it was when dd was in dance) I don't see the difference on THAT. I don't like the flippers, but maybe I would feel different if dd was actually in that world. Costumes can sometimes be a bit questionable in dance as well. I wouldn't go spend the kind of money the pageant moms do on one dress, but again, that's just me. A lot of people wouldn't pay the kind of money we do for a school activity so who am I to judge?

All that said, as in any thing else involving kids; its more about how the child is parented than it is about being in a pageant. The kids that act like brats and think the world revolves around them are that way because their parents allow them to act that way.

As for as what good it does. Well, if a girl grows up being in pageants, when she gets to the age of being in some that will win her scholarships and such; she has a leg up on the competition. And at that point it stops being about "just looks". Actually, I have seen some very young girls win pageants and had to agree that it wasn't just about looks then either.

And the kids do learn poise and grace. As for the competition, I don't see it as that much different than anything else. I have seen boys kick and scream at losing a baseball game. Some kids handle it better than others.

Oh, and OP you say she doesn't like practice but does great at the pageant. From the time DD was 3 years old and in dance, she HATED all the practice and work but LOVED to perform and always did well. She finally learned that if she wanted on that stage, she had to go through all the work to get there.

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Old 02-22-2013, 09:45 AM   #67
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I can't say I dislike pageants for the makeup as my daughter is in cheer and I have seen some pretty gaudy makeup that some teams do. However, the sport is trying to get away from any kind of pageant look and frowns on anything but natural looking stage makeup, revealing uniforms, etc. Of course, there are always teams made up of the Toddler and Tiara crowd such as the ones on Cheer Perfection. However, they are hardly representative of the sport in general.

What I don't like about pageants is that it reinforces the old female stereotype of using your wiles to get ahead instead of your brains. A cute smile, a wink, a flirty attitude. There is no team work, no athletics, nothing involved but what is on the outside.

Even the pageant pictures are doctored to make one have bigger eyes, brighter smiles, etc. Pageant pictures are almost creepy in the way they have been photoshopped. What does this teach girls? Even your pictures are not good enough?

It teaches girls that what is important is what is on the outside, not what is on the inside.

And what about the girls that lose? You can train harder in athletics to get better. You can't "get" prettier. It gives a message that one isn't pretty enough. I would love to see the statistics of eating disorders amongst pageant girls.

There are other ways to learn grace and poise. Any sport with teamwork will teach a young lady how to work with others and how to win with grace and how to lose with grace. You want poise, the forensics team is much better. You use your brain to debate and learn public speaking.

Last edited by Hrhpd; 02-22-2013 at 10:13 AM.
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:47 AM   #68
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So it is ok to sexualize a young lady but you also believe is purity ring concepts? I don't understand how that computes.

Dress up like a hooker, strut around encouraging fantasy but don't act on any of it. :/
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:49 AM   #69
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T&T probably makes glitz look much worse than it really is (it can't be as bad as they make it out to be, right?) but I suppose natural might be acceptable, as long as there is a talent section. That way maybe it evens out: you're judged on your natural beauty as well as a talent. All that fake stuff and the girls don't even look like themselves!

(This is coming from a mom who encouraged her dd19 to enter a contest based strictly on "hotness" and she made it all the way..sorry!! DD also did allstar cheer with insane makeup and mini-costumes )
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:58 AM   #70
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Google search for Glitz pageants images....ick! Why would anyone want to dress their child up like that? It's disgusting and perverse! OMG!

Glitz images
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:01 AM   #71
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I imagine that at this age, she might be ready to pursue some other things and doing pageants is keeping her from doing them. Have you offered her other choices of activities? She might like piano lessons, soccer or tennis, martial arts, photography, girl scouts, etc. I think it's important to let kids try many things while they are young so that they can pick and choose what to pursue. If she's been doing the same thing for 9 years, it's mostly impossible for her to make choices. Give her some choices and see what happens.
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:06 AM   #72
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Originally Posted by Jennasis View Post
Any minute now Ashton Kutcher is going to jump out and tell us we've been punk'd. Right? Please?

You asked for honesty - I think pageants...of any kind, for kids...are beyond trashy. I would NOT want my kid exposed to them, at all, so I would have never started to begin with.
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:07 AM   #73
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Honestly, I think that if you are dressing up your daughter in a way similar to the awful photos we have all seen, you are objectifying her sexually. You are plastering her with over the top makeup and clothing and parading her around asking her to perform for an audience like a pony in a circus. You said that where you are from everyone participates in these things, maybe you have been too immersed in the culture of it all to be able to have an outside perspective regarding the lunacy of pageantry, but most of the world outside of Arkansas say shame on you.
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:08 AM   #74
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That being said, I'm moderately sure you're a troll, so enjoy the thread!
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Old 02-22-2013, 10:10 AM   #75
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OP - if you are really curious if your daughter wants to continue, why not give her an out and see how she reacts?

Casually mention that pageants are becoming too expensive and that you might have to take a break from them. If she is upset, you can tell her you made a mistake in the budget or something. If she is relieved, you have your answer.

One of my kids did a sport from the time they were 8 into college. It earned a scholarship, so was productive.

However, the kid recently told me that although the sport was liked, it was not loved. And that they stayed in it because they thought I enjoyed it as I was on the board, volunteered, etc. I had said over and over and over that "you can quit anytime, this is your sport, not mine." However, that fell on the deaf ears of a child. All that was processed was seeing Mom all involved. And believe me, I would have welcomed him quitting as 10 years of involvement was getting tiresome.

So, you may be telling your daughter she can quit, but she may have some of her own quirky ideas on who she is pleasing. Give her an "out" and see how she reacts.
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