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Old 02-22-2013, 11:28 PM   #151
Becky2005
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I wouldn't worry about it. I know it is hard and pageants do have a bad rap. There are some people that have the same reaction if you were to say have your child be a cheerleader. I haven't read all the responses but I can guess if it is typical.

You know your child best & if she is enjoying pageants, you like to have her do them, go for it. My DD is the one that is happiest if she has a ton of things going on. I know I was always told I was over scheduling her but she likes that. I know my boys, not so much. They do better less stuff, so that is what we do for them.

Here's my background. My daughter was a gymnast for at least 11 years...she ended up with spinal fusion surgery (not from gymnastics) & that was pulled out from underneath her. She literally told me she felt like she had no talent since she had been doing that for so long. She also ice skated & danced for a bit. Now everyone tells me those are different than pageants but to me, they pretty much are all the same! You are being judged on your looks, performance and the make-up is VERY heavy in dance/ice skating. We went through way more bottles of hair spray for gymnastics than we even remotely touched for a pageant.

My daughter did her first pageant at 15 only 6 months after her surgery. Now it wasn't glitz but let me tell you if we could afford it she would love to do one. She wanted to do it after watching Toddlers & Tiaras. We had 7 week straight of watching Spongebob & Toddlers & Tiaras.

We were looking for something small & ended up finding one close to our house but found out when we got there, only 160 girls in her division! YIKES! Did she place? Nope. Did she have a good time? Yes. Guess what? She is 18 and doing the pageant again THIS year...it's her final year as they go by your age of Jan. 1, so she will be 19 at pageant time, so won't qualify next year. Remember first year I was told "I have no talent" from my child after surgery to this year she plans to compete in the talent portion of the pageant! That is amazing to me. Pageants were not something I ever thought of doing previously but it was right for her. I wasn't against them just never really gave it a thought to enter into one.

She liked it so much she asked if we could create one as a fundraiser for Shriners Hospitals for Children...so we do one every year.

She was telling me just a few weeks ago how she doesn't really know where her life would have taken her without the pageant. It was a low time in her life and it helped her out (I have no idea how exactly, I'm just going by what she told me that the pageant made a huge difference for HER). She is going to college with the intention of getting a theatre degree now. I don't think it was just the pageant, there were other things too but it pushed her when she probably would have just curled up.

People still look at her strangely when they find out she does pageants as she isn't your stereotypical pageant girl but really, all the other girls are just regular girls too.
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:35 PM   #152
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ilovedisney1982 View Post
Well, she has never openly told me "Mom, take me out of pageants", and I am very clear with her that if she ever feels as if it is necessary that she should stop pageants, she can come to me. Again, she rarely says "I love pageants I want to be Miss Universe!!". That's why I get mixed feelings.
In this case, here is what I would do. I would just stop entering into the pageants. If she likes them and wants to continue -- she will ask you "when am I going to do another pageant?". If she doesn't seem to miss it, then you will have your answer that she enjoyed them but didn't really care one way or another.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:04 AM   #153
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Originally Posted by Granny square
Sexualuzed. Not sexual. When they are presented as sexy adult women that is inappropriate. It isn't about a little bit of make up. It is about tons of makeup, fake lashes, teeth. And clothes that are adult sexy. And songs, music and movements that mimic adult flirtatious.

And there are plenty of sick minds out there.
And those sick minds are an issue for the adults not the child. I have a 14 year old. Is she not to wear a bikini at the beach because there might be some perv there?

If the child wanted to do the pageant and was happy and well adjusted,there is nothing wrong with allowing her to continue

The Ops child wants to quit so she should let her quit. End of story.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:14 AM   #154
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Originally Posted by luvsJack View Post
And those sick minds are an issue for the adults not the child. I have a 14 year old. Is she not to wear a bikini at the beach because there might be some perv there?

If the child wanted to do the pageant and was happy and well adjusted,there is nothing wrong with allowing her to continue

The Ops child wants to quit so she should let her quit. End of story.
Well adjusted? Sorry I guess I don't see where caking on the make up, wearing huge wigs and false teeth and make them parade around for judgment makes for well adjusted children

Those pics remind me of the harlot character who calls the men in the bar to come on upstairs, in old western movies. Moms of these girls should be so proud of what they are doing.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:18 AM   #155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvsJack

And those sick minds are an issue for the adults not the child. I have a 14 year old. Is she not to wear a bikini at the beach because there might be some perv there?

If the child wanted to do the pageant and was happy and well adjusted,there is nothing wrong with allowing her to continue

The Ops child wants to quit so she should let her quit. End of story.
True. It is not The child's fault they've been made to look like a sexy adult woman. That is the parent's fault. And it isn't the child's fault that there are adults that see them as fantasies. In the end that doesn't matter. Society and perversion see some traits as sexy an those are the ones being rewarded in these perverse programs.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:25 AM   #156
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmy3

Well adjusted? Sorry I guess I don't see where caking on the make up, wearing huge wigs and false teeth and make them parade around for judgment makes for well adjusted children

Those pics remind me of the harlot character who calls the men in the bar to come on upstairs, in old western movies. Moms of these girls should be so proud of what they are doing.
The same way a kid does anything else and is well adjusted. when they leave that pageant, they go back to being a regular kid. Make up does not make a chIld ill adjusted. Its the way they are raised.

Do you have a child in pageants? If not,how do you judge its effects on a child?

If that's what you think of them that's on you. personally I don't look at a child and think something that disgusting. But thats just me.
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Old 02-23-2013, 07:34 AM   #157
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Originally Posted by luvsJack View Post
The same way a kid does anything else and is well adjusted. when they leave that pageant, they go back to being a regular kid. Make up does not make a chIld ill adjusted. Its the way they are raised.
Do you have a child in pageants? If not,how do you judge its effects on a child?

If that's what you think of them that's on you. personally I don't look at a child and think something that disgusting. But thats just me.
Yup, its the way they are raised. My dd is being raised to not dress like a harlot and parade around on stage to be judged on how she looks. My dd is being raised to know that her beauty is inside and shines on the outside, and she doesn't need big poofy hair, tons of make up and false perfect teeth to be beautiful to others. I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the picture.

I do think those girls look like harlots the way they are all made up, and the fact that you think they look beautiful that way IS disgusting
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:07 AM   #158
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Oh for Pete's sakes one has nothing to do with the other. ..It has nothing to do with mixed messages or what the child is taught.
I don't mean to be rude, but don't you think there is a bit of a disconnect between encouraging a girl to make a vow to God that she won't have sex before marriage (again in re previous "purity ring" thread), then dressing her up in a skimpy outfit and heavy make-up, and having her do hoochie mama dance routines in public? I'm sorry to say that I see a huge conflict and a mixed message there.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:23 AM   #159
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Yup, its the way they are raised. My dd is being raised to not dress like a harlot and parade around on stage to be judged on how she looks. My dd is being raised to know that her beauty is inside and shines on the outside, and she doesn't need big poofy hair, tons of make up and false perfect teeth to be beautiful to others. I could go on and on but I'm sure you get the picture.

I do think those girls look like harlots the way they are all made up, and the fact that you think they look beautiful that way IS disgusting
I think any little girl is beautiful . You know every little girl on that stage may be a child with serious issues OR every child may get off that stage and be a happy well adjusted child. And it may be somewhere in between.

Some parents push too hard at anything. I have seen dance parents, choir parents and sports parents that act like crazy people. They make it all about winning at any costs. Those kids are going to have problems. But thats not all of them.

I just think its wrong to judge something you know nothing about other than a tv show.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:28 AM   #160
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Originally Posted by dizcrazee

I don't mean to be rude, but don't you think there is a bit of a disconnect between encouraging a girl to make a vow to God that she won't have sex before marriage (again in re previous "purity ring" thread), then dressing her up in a skimpy outfit and heavy make-up, and having her do hoochie mama dance routines in public? I'm sorry to say that I see a huge conflict and a mixed message there.
Are you talking about dance or pageants?
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:30 AM   #161
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I think any little girl is beautiful . You know every little girl on that stage may be a child with serious issues OR every child may get off that stage and be a happy well adjusted child. And it may be somewhere in between.

Some parents push too hard at anything. I have seen dance parents, choir parents and sports parents that act like crazy people. They make it all about winning at any costs. Those kids are going to have problems. But thats not all of them.

I just think its wrong to judge something you know nothing about other than a tv show.
That is the main point I want to make to everyone. T&T is crazy exaggerated.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:31 AM   #162
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I think any little girl is beautiful . You know every little girl on that stage may be a child with serious issues OR every child may get off that stage and be a happy well adjusted child. And it may be somewhere in between.

Some parents push too hard at anything. I have seen dance parents, choir parents and sports parents that act like crazy people. They make it all about winning at any costs. Those kids are going to have problems. But thats not all of them.

I just think its wrong to judge something you know nothing about other than a tv show.

Ironic isn't it, those girls can be judged on their looks, but when someone dares judge them on the "values" they learn from pageants, its "wrong"


And FTR, this has nothing to do with a TV show, I don't watch it. Its what glitz pageants are, and what they stand for.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:34 AM   #163
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It only takes photos and videos. I don't watch the show. I lived near the Jon Benet home. I saw those photos and videos a million times. Good enough for me.

I also work with kids who tell me things like "uncle SOS and so brings me pretty pjs and likes to watch me act like mommy". Also good enough for me.
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:34 AM   #164
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Ironic isn't it, those girls can be judged on their looks, but when someone dares judge them on the "values" they learn from pageants, its "not fair"
Now do you know the values their parents are teaching them?
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Old 02-23-2013, 08:37 AM   #165
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Now do you know the values their parents are teaching them?
You right I have no idea what they value. Its not at all apparent
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