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Old 02-23-2013, 01:17 PM   #31
keri125
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobbiwoz
The operation had to happen and you sent the check in spite of the fact that you had mentioned that they could lose money. I do not understand why, if she is such a good friend, you have to remind her of your loss.
This was my thought too. What are you hoping to gain by reminding her that you are out 88 points? You obviously value her friendship - do want her to validate your feelings? Apologize? Give you back the check? I could understand needing validation if she backed out because they just decided they didn't want to go but they had to cancel because of a SURGERY. Which they had been waiting for. I'm thinking she probably has a lot more on her mind than the 88 points. Also, even if she hasn't expressed it because she has a lot on her mind, don't you think she and her family are terribly disappointed that they don't get to go on the vacation? Isn't reminding her of your lost points kind of like rubbing salt in a wound? I know I sound judgmental and I guess I am, but it sounds to me like you are not being a good friend. Figure out how to rent the points, recoup your loss, and figure out how to move on. Then figure out how YOU can be a good supportive friend during your friend's time of need.
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:21 PM   #32
fflmaster
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This year we rented out a villa for my sister's family, mother and father. The first trip for my little nieces of 4 and 6. We can't wait to see them in disney.

Last year we invited my wife's aunt and her family.

Neither time did we ask for anyting, but said park tickets, food and flights would have to be paid by themselves.

My philosophy has been if I invite family or friends to stay with us then I will take responsibility to cover the expense of the room.

Maybe me sister and brother in law will take us out to eat one night. That would be nice, but not necessary.
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:45 PM   #33
chrisegirl
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Wow! You are all quite generous. We have also invited family on more than one occasion and they declined a few times. I have just decided not to ask again. They thought WDW was expensive. I told them the value of where we would be staying, but they thought the airfare was the main reason not to go since it was so expensive. I have also asked friends and it was the same. I am not going to beg people to come with us. We bought it for friends and family but so far no takers. I asked 4 friends, my husbands brothers family and my mother in law. All declined. I heard responses from it's too cold in Feb., airfare is too high, WDW is too expensive, I hate Disney, to I can't get off of work. I feel good that I extended the invitation, but will not do it again. The family who did go with us - well, the parents dislike WDW and complained the entire time about the time share, the crowds....I am very easy going but it was too stressful for me. I was trying to please everyone. I thought when we purchased it more friends would join us...for vacation or buying one. I thought wrong. I envy the people who do have a bunch of people who all go together and have a blast! I do enjoy going with my family and that is what we will do from now on.
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:48 PM   #34
chrisegirl
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I have a couple of questions:

~ how did my board get moved? I apologize if I posted incorrectly...it was my first time on these boards.

~can someone direct me on how to rent my points myself.

THank you!! you are all very thoughtful responding!
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Old 02-23-2013, 02:08 PM   #35
chrisegirl
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I guess I left out a main part. When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. My friend is basically over exaggerating she will be sleeping in a homeless shelter if I do not refund her her money. I am not "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was feeling that all that mattered was her money and not the fact my loss of money. They have a time share and know the implications. I was taken back by her urgency with the money when they are in a better financial situation than us. I am not saying I am right or wrong. We all had to be on the dining plan so having the friends that came pay for a dinner was not in the cards. We did purchase groceries and I personally would have paid for all of them if invited to stay for $350-. That was not the case....they did not offer. I have to realize everyone is not like me I guess. Thank you all for helping me see things in a different way.
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Old 02-23-2013, 02:09 PM   #36
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Originally Posted by keri125 View Post
This was my thought too. What are you hoping to gain by reminding her that you are out 88 points? You obviously value her friendship - do want her to validate your feelings? Apologize? Give you back the check? I could understand needing validation if she backed out because they just decided they didn't want to go but they had to cancel because of a SURGERY. Which they had been waiting for. I'm thinking she probably has a lot more on her mind than the 88 points. Also, even if she hasn't expressed it because she has a lot on her mind, don't you think she and her family are terribly disappointed that they don't get to go on the vacation? Isn't reminding her of your lost points kind of like rubbing salt in a wound? I know I sound judgmental and I guess I am, but it sounds to me like you are not being a good friend. Figure out how to rent the points, recoup your loss, and figure out how to move on. Then figure out how YOU can be a good supportive friend during your friend's time of need.

please see above. thank u!
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Old 02-23-2013, 03:49 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by chrisegirl View Post
I guess I left out a main part. When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. My friend is basically over exaggerating she will be sleeping in a homeless shelter if I do not refund her her money. I am not "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was feeling that all that mattered was her money and not the fact my loss of money. They have a time share and know the implications. I was taken back by her urgency with the money when they are in a better financial situation than us. I am not saying I am right or wrong. We all had to be on the dining plan so having the friends that came pay for a dinner was not in the cards. We did purchase groceries and I personally would have paid for all of them if invited to stay for $350-. That was not the case....they did not offer. I have to realize everyone is not like me I guess. Thank you all for helping me see things in a different way.
Wow, I don't think you were being a bad friend here. In fact I thought you were being a good friend by reimbursing their money. You are taking on a loss of 88 points unless you can travel again or can rent them before they expire. Most people can't afford to lose so many points with a smile on their faces.

Hopefully, things will work out for you, your friends come through their medical issues with a good outcome and your friendship survives. I just wouldn't invite them again.
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:07 PM   #38
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisegirl
I have a couple of questions:

~ how did my board get moved? I apologize if I posted incorrectly...it was my first time on these boards.

~can someone direct me on how to rent my points myself.

THank you!! you are all very thoughtful responding!
While logged in check out the DVC forums, you should be able to see the rent/trade board. http://www.disboards.com/forumdisplay.php?f=29. Be sure to read the stickies at the top of the board.

Sent from my iPad using DISBoards App, please excuse any typos or autocorrects!
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:15 PM   #39
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When we take family and friends I book appropriate accommodations, I explain the cancelation policy and hope for the best. Up front we have decided that whatever happens is acceptable. No one has ever canceled in the half dozen trips we have shared with others. If someone backing out of a trip would fracture a relationsip I wouldn't risk it.
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:28 PM   #40
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We've provided rooms for my sister & her family & my dh's brother & sister & family. No charge. Room is a "gift" from us. Food, transportation, tickets, etc are their expenses.
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:28 PM   #41
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisegirl View Post
I guess I left out a main part. When the $350- ck was sent to me, I paid for part of my yearly plan. My friend is basically over exaggerating she will be sleeping in a homeless shelter if I do not refund her her money. I am not "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous". I was feeling that all that mattered was her money and not the fact my loss of money. They have a time share and know the implications. I was taken back by her urgency with the money when they are in a better financial situation than us. I am not saying I am right or wrong. We all had to be on the dining plan so having the friends that came pay for a dinner was not in the cards. We did purchase groceries and I personally would have paid for all of them if invited to stay for $350-. That was not the case....they did not offer. I have to realize everyone is not like me I guess. Thank you all for helping me see things in a different way.
I think a lot of people (the one's planning the Disney trip) make assumptions that often lead to issues. They assume others know what they're getting into, that others will treat them fairly, that people will be on their best behavior for such a trip, that people will remember verbal warnings/agreements, etc. We don't know your interactions or your friend's personality/approach but if this is par for the course, one could/should have known this was a risk up front. Owning a timeshare likely doesn't help with understanding, esp if it's a full week timeshare, it actually might make it worse.

Planning such trips are risky and problematic. That's why we plan the trip and pay for the rooms (generally with our timeshares) and then invite people to come up to the occupancy we're comfortable with. We had 40 in Nashville Dec, 2011 and 36 in Gatlinburg a couple of years before. We have very few rules but there are a few.
  • You don't wait on me or vice versa
  • If you generate a charge (phone bill, room charges) take care of it.
  • There will be an occasional adult beverage but no one will be out of control at all.
  • We have a family meal together either dine out or pot luck, I get to choose.
  • If you don't like the rules, simply don't go.
  • If you violate the rules, I won't invite you in the future.
I go to great lengths to avoid subliminal messages or to put anyone in an uncomfortable position. I make EVERY effort not to control other people's vacation. The family comes from all types of backgrounds so I try to reduce the trip down to the bare minimums. That way no one has to miss the trip because the events and costs pass them by but those who want to do more have the opportunity. You could literally come and hang out at the pool or beach and eat in every meal if you wanted save possibly the one family meal. For most it's potentially cheaper than staying home on vacation. We do this as a way to give back to the family and to get everyone together. We love that we can do this and we have precious little drama. While thanks are not expected, everyone seems appreciative.
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Old 02-23-2013, 04:55 PM   #42
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Originally Posted by bobbiwoz View Post
The operation had to happen and you sent the check in spite of the fact that you had mentioned that they could lose money. I do not understand why, if she is such a good friend, you have to remind her of your loss.
I have to agree with Bobbi.

We invited good friends to stay at BLT with us this coming August. We would never accept any money from them since we invited them. It was not as though they were going to Disney anyway and we said, "Hey, stay with us in a 2 BR!" We were planning a trip and asked them to join us. I would not dream of "charging" our friends anything, when we invited them!
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Old 02-23-2013, 05:09 PM   #43
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DW and I bought into DVC to enhance our vacation experience, not to subsidize other's vacation. We have however had three trips where we invited family along - DB/SIL; DD/SIL; BIL/SIL. We make our guests sleep on the fold out, we get the Master BR. No we don't ask for any $$, especially since they are sleeping on the sofa! An occasional meal paid for has been a pleasant surprise. Next two trips are just DW and myself, and we are looking forward to the hassle and drama free experience.
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Old 02-24-2013, 03:03 AM   #44
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We have small contracts, so not alot of points to play with. When we bought, we never planned to invite friends and family. The plan though was to add on for our future grandkids. My DS will be getting a job this summer and entering college next year, so it's much harder to plan 11 months out. Realizing this, we have decided to take shorter trips closer to home around his schedule, so we had several points that we didn't need. I decided to rent those points to friends and family because it was easier and perhaps less risky than renting to someone I don't know. I ended up renting them for $11/point to two separate families, one a friend and the other my niece. We signed a contract which made it clear the money is nonrefundable. Our reasoning for asking for money is to pay our MFs and also because we need it to pay for a few shorter, closer to home trips. If we were going to Disney and invited them to join us, we would not ask for any money.
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Old 02-24-2013, 05:28 AM   #45
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Renting to family and friends is great - trust, etc. as long as they take their vacation. When ones has to cancel and they are out of their money (even though they know well ahead of time), their attitude and whole relationship might change.

It is a great idea for anyone renting and saving money - but if one rents through Disney (and i have not done this in 12 years) and one cancels within a reasonable time - do they get a refund? or how much $$ have they paid up front (one night?) that they risk of not getting back? Just curious.
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