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Old 02-21-2013, 09:09 PM   #31
kandb
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OP-I feel terrible for your daughter. She sounds so upset and unhappy in her school. I hope that this teacher is not being mean to your dd because you have complained about her. I don't mean to scare you but people (teachers included) can be spiteful and maybe she is taking it out on your daughter. Your daughter should not be having a breakdown because she has to go to school. I would be concerned of emotional abuse towards her. Who's watching this teacher in the classroom? No one, except other 7 year olds. If it was my daughter, I would pull her out or tell the principal you want her class changed, even if there's only a few months left. Why make your daugher suffer anymore? PS Is there anyway you can put some kind of recording device on your daugher to see what is being said to her and the other children in class. Go with your mommy instinct.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:45 AM   #32
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I'd find out what is going on in the classroom. Why is your daughter so upset? Do you have time to drop in earlier than dismissal time to see? Stay later after dropping her off?

The school near me is great. One of the Kindergarten parents volunteers every Thursday in the classroom. She was super nervous about sending her daughter and held her back a year (Dec birthday, our cut off is the end of Dec). Her daughter loves Kindergarten, but would have hated going last year. My friend would like to homeschool but decided that her daughter needed time away from her. Our Kindergarten is full day and at the start of the year she was going to pull her daughter out after 1/2 day (so she would only do mornings). Well that didn't last long (her daughter's choice).

I hope you can decide what is best for your family. If you decide to stick it out until the year is over, I would keep her registered for Sept. unless you have to pay a cancelation fee. That way you won't have to worry about loosing her spot. You would also have time over the summer to see if homeschooling works for you and your daughter.
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Old 02-22-2013, 05:40 AM   #33
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I can honestly say that I thought I would never home school, but here we are 4 years into it. No child should have to endure being "bullied by a teacher". If you choose to keep your dc there you need to create a stink with the person in charge. Know that you do not need to hs forever, take it year by year. You said you were selling your home. Plan on just a year and see where it leads you, that is how we do it. Secondly, if you choose to hs know that there is an adjustment period for many parents and dc. It took awhile for all of us to figure out how we would work our hs, every hs is different. You need to allow for some down time of just being together, going to the library, cooking, crafts, museum, and just hanging out together. This will give you an idea of how best she learns . Look into a boxed curriculum the first year, it may not be a great fit but it will give you the tools you need to ensure she gets what she needs, you could even enroll and have teacher over site. Right now you may not know anyone who home schools or of any co-ops but trust me once you start you will be surprised by the number of people who do. A good place to start is to look at activities in your area that are for hs (The YMCA, library, websites, home school conventions, the DIS). You may have to travel out of your neighborhood but you will find us..we are everywhere! Lastly, pop on over to the home school thread here and ask as many questions as you can!!! We are all there to help one another!
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:32 AM   #34
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I am so touched by your responses thank you, thank you, thank you, I can't pull her out she will then repeat the second grade and in her school there is only one 2nd grade class and she failed math so we are trying very hard for her to pass to the next grade the emphasis on testing is mind boggling I would hate for her to go to summer school the principle does'nt allow parents to hang around you are to drop off outside the doors and leave, you can't even casually talk to the teachers unless its scheduled, I love the fact that danjoealexis3006 posted I could just try for 1 year and see where it goes that really puts my mind at ease and know that nothing is written in stone, don't know what a boxed curriculum with teacher over-seeing it is but sounds interesting still looking for a group in my area to gather more info during the summer I did send in the money to save her seat until Sept..
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:06 AM   #35
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A boxed curriculum is a curriculum that is sold with all the subjects together. Some examples of this are:
Calvert
Oak Meadow
Seton
Sonlight
Abeka
Bob Jones University
Timberdoodle
If you google these name their websites will come up. So are Christian and some are not. Take a look at them and see if you like them, if you do request a catalog. There are hundreds of curriculum providers but for 1st year parents hsing I would get something in a box.
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:38 AM   #36
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We're considering homeschooling our children next year and one thing we are seriously considering is online schooling. In MI we have virtual schools that are tuition free. They're fully accredited and you have a teacher available online over the phone. For 3rd grade the online time is 25% and the est is done through books they send you. All the curriculum is set out for you, you just need to complete the assignments each week. Michigan has a free program through k12. Since it is considered a public school option there is no charge. A few of my friends are using it and really like it. K12 is available in other states, not always free though. It may be something to look into. I like the idea that my kids will be home with me, but since I am a little hesitant about my own abilities this seems like it could be a good fit. Whatever you decide I hope things work out for you and your daughter.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:29 PM   #37
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When is her birthday? Is she a young 7 in the classroom? What is the school doing to help her with math? Just a couple of questions that come to mind.

DS7 is in first grade and I wouldn't trust a teacher who doesn't welcome help in the classroom in way of parents. We have 2 parents scheduled each day (AM/PM) and it makes a huge difference. His classroom has 25 kids, and it is the main teacher and one aid who is primarily there for one child with special needs. We also have a student teacher this year, which has been great.

I am a fan of homeschooling/eschooling, but for the right reasons. We live in a great district and DS7's best friend's parents chose to try e-schooling this year, so that they could advance his studies as needed (gifted). He started second grade math halfway through the year, and it has been a pretty good experience for them. He is part of a homeschool co-op as well, plays sports, and is in scouts, which helps with the social component.

If this is just a bad match (teacher/child), but you like the school and feel that she would benefit from their teaching styles, push through. If you feel she would learn better in a less structured environment, and are willing to reach out and engage the homeschool community to build a social network for you/she, then go for it. Even with e-schooling, there is a hefty amount of parental envolvement. How does she handle working with you now on topics/homework? I just say that because often DS7 and I come to heads with education...and he is more willing to do things for his teacher than for me.

Good luck! Sometimes it is just a bad match-up with teachers (I had some pretty crappy ones in my time), and sometimes a child will simply perform better and thrive in an alternative environment. Just because 99 out of 100 families/children LOVE a particular school, doesn't mean that it is right for your child.
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Old 02-22-2013, 12:51 PM   #38
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I highly recommend the book The Homeschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith. It is a good starting point for those thinking about homeschooling. It explains some of the ins and outs and different ways of doing things. It was a very valuable resource when we first considered homeschooling our dd and I was totally lost about how it worked. We are only in our first year, but I love it! If you can't find this book, OP, pm me and I can send you a copy as I have an extra.
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:11 PM   #39
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letsgoreds its funny you should ask about her age she is actually one of very few 7 year old in the class the majority are 8 her Birthday is in July erinmomof2 I wish my state had a free program like K-12 that would really nice to try GusGus77 I will definitly will be looking for this book thank you so much for offering Bless you all!!
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Old 02-22-2013, 01:27 PM   #40
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Originally Posted by Happiest mommy View Post
letsgoreds its funny you should ask about her age she is actually one of very few 7 year old in the class the majority are 8 her Birthday is in July erinmomof2 I wish my state had a free program like K-12 that would really nice to try GusGus77 I will definitly will be looking for this book thank you so much for offering Bless you all!!
Did she fail math this year or last year? Will the teacher offer after school help? My DD's class is young as well.lots of August birthdays. They have been together since K. Only one class per grade. You can tell the difference. There is a huge learning curve. The school has opted to teach to the lowest common denominator so no student is left behind so I supplement at home as well. Although strict, her teacher stays afterschool to help the students. Only 2 or 3 of the 29 students stay. After K her school really limited parental involvement as well. They found it was actually distracting and was not promoting independence. As others have said; did she like the school up until this year? I know you mentioned the teacher was strict. Other than that; is there anything else going on? I will share that at my DD's school a lot of the parents like the strict/disciplined environment and that's whey they send their children there. Is that the case of that particular school as well?

You mentioned moving. How are the public schools where you are moving to? As PP mentioned, you could always try homeschool and if that doesn't work you could enroll her in public (or another private school). It does not have to be the be all end all. Although a different scenario, we are moving my DD from the private school to public next year. If it doesn't work out then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Best of luck to you and your DD.
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Old 02-22-2013, 05:08 PM   #41
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I always recommend that moms considering homeschooling go to the library and check out every book they can find on homeschooling. Start by skimming them to see which ones you want to read word for word.

The one book that I do recommend you get your hands on, by buying if you need to, is "So You're Thinking About Homeschooling" by Lisa Whelchel (that's Blair from Facts of Life). She does a great job profiling many different homeschooling families, talking about why they started, what's important to them, and then telling exactly what curriculum they use. That's important because just about any curriculum sounds lovely in the catalog, but if it's made for a different "kind" of family than yours, it won't work well for you. With this book, you can identify with a few families which are similar to your own and then narrow it down from there.

Remember that with homeschooling, she doesn't have to be in the same grade for every subject. Even if you order one brand of curriculum for every subject and have it overseen by a teacher, you can still usually order 3rd grade for everything except math. You also don't have to take a year to finish every book. You could start with 2nd grade math, skipping what she knows well and slowing down where she needs more work. If you finish the book in December, you can have her start 3rd grade math in January. You can customize it to suit her.
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Old 02-22-2013, 05:42 PM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kandb
OP-I feel terrible for your daughter. She sounds so upset and unhappy in her school. I hope that this teacher is not being mean to your dd because you have complained about her. I don't mean to scare you but people (teachers included) can be spiteful and maybe she is taking it out on your daughter. Your daughter should not be having a breakdown because she has to go to school. I would be concerned of emotional abuse towards her. Who's watching this teacher in the classroom? No one, except other 7 year olds. If it was my daughter, I would pull her out or tell the principal you want her class changed, even if there's only a few months left. Why make your daugher suffer anymore? PS Is there anyway you can put some kind of recording device on your daugher to see what is being said to her and the other children in class. Go with your mommy instinct.


PS Is there anyway you can put some kind of recording device on your daugher to see what is being said to her and the other children in class
As a teacher I find this suggestion horrific. When the level of trust is at that level then there is nowhere to go really.

She sounds so unhappy. I hope you find something that suits you and makes her feel better. Or you an get the school to investigate fully what is going on. Good luck.
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Old 02-22-2013, 06:23 PM   #43
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Originally Posted by ScotsMinnie

As a teacher I find this suggestion horrific. When the level of trust is at that level then there is nowhere to go really.

She sounds so unhappy. I hope you find something that suits you and makes her feel better. Or you an get the school to investigate fully what is going on. Good luck.
I think kandb is right though. There is something terribly wrong happening for a child to experience an anxiety attack at the sight of her uniform. It may be external or internal. Whatever it is, it's affecting this is child's mental health.
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Old 02-22-2013, 07:09 PM   #44
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homeschool help for NYC

Happiest Mommy, I live on Long Island and have been researching homeschooling for my DD who would enter kindergarten next year. Besides reading a ton of books (many of them the other members have suggested to you already) and studies, I found some of the most direct info and help from yahoo homeschool groups. One that was especially helpful was a group called NYHEN-support@yahoo. Its a board for homeschoolers in NY state. The members can help you with the homeschool laws in NY, which are strict but do not seem impossible to deal with. I seem to remember reading on one of these boards that NYC has a homeschool office. I may be wrong since I am on LI and didnt pay close attention to the NYC info, but its ringing a bell in my mind.
Also, should you choose to pull your DD, I dont see why there is any reason that you couldnt homeschool her for the rest of this school year and have her enter the next grade next year. A former student of mine was homeschooled for health issues the last 5 months of school, she followed the appropriate curriculum and testing, and was promoted to the next grade without question. You would need to get together the curriculum and get your hands on the books and possibly make arrangements for testing, but if you taught her the curriculum yourself at home with possibly the help of a tutor for math if necessary why couldnt she move on to the 3rd gr on time? I dont have any great answers on how to handle it specifically, but the people on the NYHEN board could def give you a better direction to take should you choose to spare her the anxiety of the next few months and pull her out. I am a mom who was a grade school teacher in both public and parochial school before I had children and I cannot comprehend why any child should feel so frightened and unhappy in school. 30+ hours a week for the next 4 months is a long time to be miserable for a 7 year old. Dont let yourself be intimidated into thinking you cant do it! The teacher and parent in me has to say that no one is more dedicated to seeing a child succeed than his/her parent! Dont let the school bully you into thinking its impossible or illegal to pull her out and keep her on track for the 3rd grade! Try the yahoo groups, they have been a great help for me out her on LI. good luck and hugs to your DD
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Old 02-22-2013, 09:11 PM   #45
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SCOTSMINNIE-Why do you feel what I suggest horrific? Just because you are a teacher? There are bad seeds in every profession. Have you ever seen the "hidden cameras" videos of some nannies that watch children for a living? The most recent one I saw, a week ago, was a nanny slappy a baby in the face. Unfortunately, some people don't have high moral values and it's possible this teacher has issues. You are not suggesting that all teachers are normal, are you? PS, My third grade teacher was a "yeller" and I was anxious going to her class. When I told my mother, she went in and talked to her. That same day, the teacher went in front of the class and asked all the students, "Do I yell at you?" Of course no one said nothing, and then she nastily said to me in front of the class, "Why did you tell your mother that I yell?" She had alot of anger in her and I will always remember that 3rd grade class and how uncomfortable I was going to it everyday.
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