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Old 02-13-2013, 05:35 PM   #91
LuvinLucifer
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Originally Posted by iKristin View Post
Some people would just rather adopt, for multiple reasons. I can have my own kids, but I want to adopt my first baby and give a family to a little one that doesn't have a family.
You do realize that there are no babies that need a family? For every baby placed for adoption there are thousands of infertile couples wanting to adopt it.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:38 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by si-am View Post
I was semi considering adoption recently and looking at some online applications. One of them wanted medical reports documenting infertility. I went through all the testing, but they couldn't find anything wrong with either me or my husband, so technically we don't have an "infertile" diagnosis, even though we've been trying to conceive for almost 6 years now.

I feel like there are so many shades of grey here, it would be hard to put such strict terms on it.
Unexplained infertility is a diagnosis.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:51 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LuvinLucifer

You do realize that there are no babies that need a family? For every baby placed for adoption there are thousands of infertile couples wanting to adopt it.
Really? Then they need to look into the foster care system. In my city alone there are over 100 babies ( all under 12 months) that are available for adoption, and yet they stay in over crowed private and group foster homes because no one wants them. Most have been in the care of the state from the day they were born.
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Old 02-13-2013, 05:56 PM   #94
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Originally Posted by JessB320 View Post
Really? Then they need to look into the foster care system. In my city alone there are over 100 babies ( all under 12 months) that are available for adoption, and yet they stay in over crowed private and group foster homes because no one wants them. Most have been in the care of the state from the day they were born.
I believe you are mistaken. The goal of the foster care system is reunification. If there were more infants available there would not be long waiting lists to adopt. According to AdoptUSKids there are only 8 kids available under two, all of whom have special needs:

http://www.adoptuskids.org/_app/chil...hpResults.aspx
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:02 PM   #95
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I think the fertility angle is being overplayed, or at the very least twisted. She went to a Catholic agency, openly affiliated with a faith that condemns contraception and non-procreative sexual activities, and said she's a healthy married woman who just doesn't want to go through the physical changes of pregnancy. And she expected them to treat her the same as they would an infertile couple? I think she was looking for controversy.

FWIW, Catholic Charities also won't adopt to unmarried couples and several regional branches have shut down rather than comply with court rulings that would force them to adopt to legally married same sex couples. So it shouldn't come as a big surprise that they'd balk at adoptive parents who are openly violating other Church teachings. She would very likely get a different response from one of the many secular/private agencies that place newborns.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:07 PM   #96
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First if you look at the bottom of that website you will see it is a private company called the Adoption exchange Association. This is not a government website and does not in any way list all the children in every state available for adoption, or every child in foster care who's parents have had all rights terminated, making the child available

I am not mistaken as I provide respite care to the very foster homes I speak of. I became involved in respite care after talking to a close friend, who happens to run the operations of the foster care system in my city. Through her I learned of these babies. Since I am not in a position to be a foster parent, this is how I help.

Yes reunification is the goal, it doesn't always happen however. There are many mothers who have children removed at birth for many reasons. Some of them willing relinquish rights immediately. Some have already lost rights to older children. Some don't want to take the steps to regain their children.

Last edited by JessB320; 02-13-2013 at 06:14 PM.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:08 PM   #97
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Originally Posted by North of Mouse View Post
So sorry you feel that way, not ---

Maybe you should read the first post about *not wanting* to have her own biological child, and the title about a *fertile woman adopting*. My own dd would have loved her own, but had no choice but to adopt. If you don't want to see posts about being able to have your own vs. opting to adopt (especially for selfish reasons) maybe you should be the one to opt off reading or posting on this thread.
I don't mind seeing remarks, I just think your remarks on this thread are offensive to women who want to be mothers without going through pregnancy. I also think you have some "issues" of your own, but since you aren't really worth the points, I wont bother to point them out in this thread.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:10 PM   #98
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Originally Posted by LuvinLucifer View Post
You do realize that there are no babies that need a family? For every baby placed for adoption there are thousands of infertile couples wanting to adopt it.
An infertile couple can adopt a child. They dont need first dibs on all the babies out there.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:23 PM   #99
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Originally Posted by JessB320 View Post
Yes reunification is the goal, it doesn't always happen however. There are many mothers who have children removed at birth for many reasons. Some of them willing relinquish rights immediately. Some have already lost rights to older children. Some don't want to take the steps to regain their children.
Do you have a source for this because it doesn't add up? There are millions of people waiting to adopt a baby. There are aproximately 20,000 babies placed for adoption a year. It doesn't make sense there would be babies waiting to be adopted when there are so many people waiting to adopt. Any birth mother could call an agency and have thousands of profiles of couples wanting to adopt her child.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:25 PM   #100
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Originally Posted by luvmy3 View Post
An infertile couple can adopt a child. They dont need first dibs on all the babies out there.
Are you suggesting that just because they are infertile they have a special responsibility and ability to raise troubled teens and children with severe special needs?
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:28 PM   #101
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Originally Posted by LuvinLucifer View Post
Are you suggesting that just because they are infertile they have a special responsibility and ability to raise troubled teens and children with severe special needs?
Um No, I'm suggesting they could adopt a child, just like any fertile couple could
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:29 PM   #102
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Originally Posted by luvmy3 View Post
Um No, I'm suggesting they could adopt a child.
As in, not a healthy infant?

And most fertile people can't and don't want to adopt a child from foster care because most come with special challenges infants typically don't. It's a painful process with a typically difficult adjusting period that isn't a substitute for raising a child from infancy, which is what most people(fertile or infertile) want.

Last edited by LuvinLucifer; 02-13-2013 at 06:40 PM.
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:31 PM   #103
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:34 PM   #104
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Ever source I can find suggests that it's virtually impossible to adopt a healthy infant from foster care. This is sums it up pretty well though:
Quote:
If you only want straight adoption, you will probably not get an infant from the state. Termination of the parental rights must be done first. This is a long process, and as I said before, the parents by law get a year, and in some states more, to work a plan to have their children returned to them. If you don't want to foster first, then you will have to wait until that termination of parental rights (TPR) happens, and the appeal period has passed. In Texas, the appeal period is three months. So you are looking, at the very least, at 15 months, from the time the child comes into care, until the child is placed for adoption.
http://voices.yahoo.com/adopting-chi...89.html?cat=25
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Old 02-13-2013, 06:35 PM   #105
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Originally Posted by LuvinLucifer View Post
As in, not a healthy infant?
Yes as in not a healthy infant. An infertile couple could adopt an infant, healthy or otherwise. They also have the choice of adopting a child, healthy or otherwise. A fertile couple has the same choices as well.

ETA, I'm not talking about foster kids, I'm talking about in general.
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