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Old 02-12-2013, 07:36 PM   #91
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Unfortunately, if you are at that stage when your friends have kids and you don't, you sometimes have to do "kids stuff" if you want to see your friends. I don't think you should have to spend tons of $ to go to an amusement park though. But if she offers an opportunity to see her again and it is an inexpensive kid-oriented experience, you might want to consider going just to spend time with her.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:06 PM   #92
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Honestly, that is the exact same reason I gave friends for not wanting to do similar run (and it was the truth). I didn't want to do a race in which I was being chased. Whether that makes sense to you or not, it is the truth. My friends accepted it (okay, one mocked me a bit, but none accused me of lying).
i didn't accuse her of lying. just didn't like getting the run around, just say no and its only because she has done it twice before.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:20 PM   #93
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i didn't accuse her of lying. just didn't like getting the run around, just say no and its only because she has done it twice before.
How is she giving you the run around? She said "no" and explained why. How is that giving you the run around? Sorry, but I really don't understand what is wrong with what she did.

Sorry, since you said that what she did was wrong (giving you the run around), I assumed that you were suggesting that you didn't believe her or that she was being evasive.
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:52 PM   #94
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How is she giving you the run around? She said "no" and explained why. How is that giving you the run around? Sorry, but I really don't understand what is wrong with what she did.

Sorry, since you said that what she did was wrong (giving you the run around), I assumed that you were suggesting that you didn't believe her or that she was being evasive.
She did not say no.
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:55 PM   #95
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plus, I found cake classes (guess that's what you call them) at my local michael's. it starts in march.

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Old 02-13-2013, 06:35 AM   #96
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plus, I found cake classes (guess that's what you call them) at my local michael's. it starts in march.
Hope you enjoy them! Go in with an open mind, this may be the class where you find a friend but it may not be. Just enjoy getting out and meeting the people regardless of where the relationships go!
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Old 02-13-2013, 07:11 AM   #97
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because she has always gave me the run around. Invited her to my house warming and she told me she was coming until the day off she just couldn't come anymore and said her mother in law told her she couldn't come.

for our birthdays which is close to each other, we had planned to go out to eat, 2 days before she just texts me and says she couldn't go anymore. no reason.
I am just commenting because I have been like your friend before. In my case it was because of social anxiety issues, I would say yes to things, thinking I could do them and then as the time came closer I would panic and not be able to show up. Other people have issues too, maybe this is hers, maybe not. But you are supposed to BE a friend too...realize that other people have their own stuff going on and maybe you could be supportive of them.

To be honest, you sound very negative as well as argumentative and actually selfish to me. I know you think in you heart you are good, nice person, but even good and nice people have their negative qualities. I think you should look inside how to work on your own issues instead of thinking everyone else is always the problem. And reach out and be supportive with others instead of always judging them.

I am not meaning to be rude, but I am giving you my view as bluntly as I can.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:05 PM   #98
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I am just commenting because I have been like your friend before. In my case it was because of social anxiety issues, I would say yes to things, thinking I could do them and then as the time came closer I would panic and not be able to show up. Other people have issues too, maybe this is hers, maybe not. But you are supposed to BE a friend too...realize that other people have their own stuff going on and maybe you could be supportive of them.

To be honest, you sound very negative as well as argumentative and actually selfish to me. I know you think in you heart you are good, nice person, but even good and nice people have their negative qualities. I think you should look inside how to work on your own issues instead of thinking everyone else is always the problem. And reach out and be supportive with others instead of always judging them.

I am not meaning to be rude, but I am giving you my view as bluntly as I can.
I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:25 PM   #99
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[QUOTE=luv4u859;47495123]I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.[/QUOTE]

If the bolded is true I would think about why she is just cancelling on you.

In this thread you come across as very defensive when anyone tries to give you feedback that isn't positive. No one likes to hear someone be critical of them but sometimes you really need to take that feedback to hear, especially if you are looking to change something in your life. People don't always realize that they are coming across a certain way and they only way you will ever know is if some one tells you and you really listen to them.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:47 PM   #100
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I know it is hard, but sometimes the problem is you. If everyone seems to treat you a certain way, you may need to step back and try to figure out what YOUR role in it is. I know it is easier and more pleasant to think over and over again that it is someone else's fault or problem, but thinking that doesn't change anything.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:51 PM   #101
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And it's all being put on me. Yes I may have issues, but people cancel on me all the time, for whatever reason. I had a house warming party. Everyone I invited said the would come. I even texted everyone the day before saying how to find my apartment & etc. ask me out of 16 friends I invited came, ONE. ONE PERSON and just my family. Everyone just texted me with excuses or didn't say anything at all. So it is not always MY FAULT. yes I have to blame because I don't let people get smart with me but its not always my fault people cancel on me. You only know what I am telling you.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:54 PM   #102
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I am no where near selfish and don't appreciate you calling me it. I never once said I wasn't negative, but selfish I will never be, I was not raised that way. Gave people money when they had NOTHING, over 300 dollars I gave a friend throughout the years we have been friends and never once asked for any of it back. That to me does not equal selfish.

And I doubt she has social anxiety, she goes everywhere else with anybody else cuz she tells me, but whenever I plan stuff it gets canceled.
To me, saying you don't want to go to Sesame Street, even to spend time with a friend, because you won't get your money's worth does come across as selfish.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:57 PM   #103
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And it's all being put on me. Yes I may have issues, but people cancel on me all the time, for whatever reason. I had a house warming party. Everyone I invited said the would come. I even texted everyone the day before saying how to find my apartment & etc. ask me out of 16 friends I invited came, ONE. ONE PERSON and just my family. Everyone just texted me with excuses or didn't say anything at all. So it is not always MY FAULT. yes I have to blame because I don't let people get smart with me but its not always my fault people cancel on me. You only know what I am telling you.
I didn't say it was ALWAYS your fault. Just ask yourself why 16 people would cancel on you at the last minute and not tell you. Maybe they are all jerks, and you just need a new class of people to hang with. Maybe somehow you are making it unpleasant to be around you and your friends are not wanting to spend time with you. it is impossible for US to know. I am just saying that if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again, maybe you are the common denominator and need to to take a good look at how you relate to people.

I know it is hard to hear criticism, but it can be a growing experience. I think people here sincerely want to help you.
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:01 PM   #104
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To me, saying you don't want to go to Sesame Street, even to spend time with a friend, because you won't get your money's worth does come across as selfish.
your opinion. would you spend the money you didn't have right now?
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Old 02-13-2013, 04:05 PM   #105
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I didn't say it was ALWAYS your fault. Just ask yourself why 16 people would cancel on you at the last minute and not tell you. Maybe they are all jerks, and you just need a new class of people to hang with. Maybe somehow you are making it unpleasant to be around you and your friends are not wanting to spend time with you. it is impossible for US to know. I am just saying that if the same thing keeps happening to you over and over again, maybe you are the common denominator and need to to take a good look at how you relate to people.

I know it is hard to hear criticism, but it can be a growing experience. I think people here sincerely want to help you.
i do think of that. I do ask what is wrong with me. But when you have people who you has done the same thing for years, say they will do or go somewhere with me and don't and they have done it many times, i know its not me. That was a very hard day for me because I realized then I had nobody but family, NOBODY came, NO ONE.
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