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Old 02-11-2013, 06:48 AM   #16
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Originally Posted by luv4u859 View Post
Even if I do see someone, I still have no friends.
Its more important for you to find some professional help right now. Once you do, things in your life, including friendships will get better.
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:20 AM   #17
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This may sound silly, but is there anything at work that is a common complaint or something everyone laughs at? Coworkers often bond over a common dislike regarding their job. Naturally, you don't want to be the person who whines about everything, but it could be an ice breaker. You have a beautiful smile - be sure to break it out whenever possible
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:23 AM   #18
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I am really beginning to feel like I am going to be depressed. I HAVE NO FRIENDS. No one to talk to about anything, the one friend I do have, I can't talk to her about things cuz she will either laugh or say wow Orr something, I have no siblings and I don't always want to talk to my mom about stuff. I feel like am the worlds worst person because of this and I am honestly getting to the point where I cant take it no more.

I used to be really cool with this girl but whenever I text her she ignores me but then gets mad when I do the same. I tried joining meetup.com to try to find some groups but ever group there is people mostly 39s and up and I am only 24.

I just really NEED someone to be there for me like I will be there for them. At 24 I should be out having fun but all I do is come home from work and do nothing.

i am so unhappy, I am fat and I am ugly and I have no friends and I am beginning to think its my fault. Someone please help...
You have to like yourself before anyone else can like you. Please get some counseling.
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:35 AM   #19
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I agree with others that counseling could really help at this point.

But I also think you need to put yourself out there, I am shy too so I know it is hard. I agree with others, look into volunteer oppourtunites. Join a gym or take lessons in something atheletic, tennis maybe. It will help you lose weight if necessary and have you meet up with people.

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Old 02-11-2013, 11:56 AM   #20
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I don't whine about much. I don't have people to hang with from my job because they are all mostly over, like 50 and above. I do go out occasionally and do things with friends, but the girl I usually go with majority of the time is rude to me. I broke my foot 2 yrs ago and still have pain and can't do much physical activity.

Me and my friend were friends for like 7 years, she lives in NYC. I always helped her with anything she needed, whether it was money for her to buy stuff or money to feed her child. It seems like when I stop doing it she stops talking to me. She recently stopped talking to me because according to her I had no right to feel the way that I do because of my foot.

I don think I need help, but I will talk to someone, thanks.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:08 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4u859

Even if I do see someone, I still have no friends.
Unfortunately, people may sense your negative self image and depression and not want to interact with you because of it. People are more drawn to positive energy. Therapy may help you regain some of that confidence and positivity.

I have had to end more than one friendship because their negativity wore me down.

Good luck!
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:15 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by luv4u859 View Post
Even if I do see someone, I still have no friends.
Well ... maybe instead of relying on texting and ".com" options, you should go out and MEET people!
  • Join a club, or find an organization that does something you're interested in and volunteer there -- animal shelters, libraries, festivals, art galleries ... lots of groups are looking for volunteers.
  • Take a class -- cooking class, language classes, public speaking, ballroom dancing ... choose something that requires interaction.
  • Borrow a friend's dog and go to a local dog park.
  • Find something you really like to do and just go do it. If you like bookstores, spend time in bookstores. Ask other people what they're reading. See if there are book clubs you can join. If you like to travel, find a tour group that caters to single travelers and go somewhere. If you like acting, find a community theater that needs help. There are tons of options.

Cultivating a group of friends that you can talk to and hang out with does require some work. But you have to go out there and do it. And don't be afraid of people who are ten years older than you. Some of my best friends are 10+ years older (and in a couple of cases younger) than me. But we have common interests, so we're great friends.

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Old 02-11-2013, 12:23 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WDSearcher
Well ... maybe instead of relying on texting and ".com" options, you should go out and MEET people!

[*]Join a club, or find an organization that does something you're interested in and volunteer there -- animal shelters, libraries, festivals, art galleries ... lots of groups are looking for volunteers.[*]Take a class -- cooking class, language classes, public speaking, ballroom dancing ... choose something that requires interaction.[*]Borrow a friend's dog and go to a local dog park.[*]Find something you really like to do and just go do it. If you like bookstores, spend time in bookstores. Ask other people what they're reading. See if there are book clubs you can join. If you like to travel, find a tour group that caters to single travelers and go somewhere. If you like acting, find a community theater that needs help. There are tons of options.


Cultivating a group of friends that you can talk to and hang out with does require some work. But you have to go out there and do it. And don't be afraid of people who are ten years older than you. Some of my best friends are 10+ years older (and in a couple of cases younger) than me. But we have common interests, so we're great friends.

I have been trying to MEET people, but I am not the type of person to go places by myself. I do not like it. I have been an only child all my life, I don't want to do things by myself anymore. That is why I joined the meetup.com website, you join groups and then GO OUT to meet them.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:23 PM   #24
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Yes I do both. Teacher and in college part time. The major thing is I am shy and I am really trying to break out of it. Because of that I don't just go up to people randomly. I also have bad anxiety due to car accidents. My life kinda sucks sometimes.
You are making excuses. How do you expect to meet people if you go to work/school and then go right home? Go to a therapist to get the help that you need in the other areas of your life. But you need to join a group to make friends. Find something that you like to do and find a group that does it. You are making this harder than it has to be which is most likely due to your anxiety. Once you get the therapy that you need then you can move on.

Do you go to church? You could join one of the Bible study groups for people your age. Or start one if there isn't one. Start to think outside the box a little. It will take time but it can be done.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:41 PM   #25
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Sending hugs and prayers to you sweetie . Hoping you reach out and find someone close by you can rely on or perhaps some counseling. Our board can be full of good advise, I hope you listen to Dis friends. It's tough times for a lot of people, but there is always hope and please stay strong.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:50 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by worm761

You are making excuses. How do you expect to meet people if you go to work/school and then go right home? Go to a therapist to get the help that you need in the other areas of your life. But you need to join a group to make friends. Find something that you like to do and find a group that does it. You are making this harder than it has to be which is most likely due to your anxiety. Once you get the therapy that you need then you can move on.

Do you go to church? You could join one of the Bible study groups for people your age. Or start one if there isn't one. Start to think outside the box a little. It will take time but it can be done.
I am not making excuses.

That is what I do. What else do u expect me to do? Again that is why I joined meetup to find groups.

I do go to church sometimes but the bible study is Wednesday when I am in school and I rarely go because its like an hour away.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:51 PM   #27
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luv4u859 View Post
I don't whine about much. I don't have people to hang with from my job because they are all mostly over, like 50 and above. I do go out occasionally and do things with friends, but the girl I usually go with majority of the time is rude to me. I broke my foot 2 yrs ago and still have pain and can't do much physical activity.

Me and my friend were friends for like 7 years, she lives in NYC. I always helped her with anything she needed, whether it was money for her to buy stuff or money to feed her child. It seems like when I stop doing it she stops talking to me. She recently stopped talking to me because according to her I had no right to feel the way that I do because of my foot.

I don think I need help, but I will talk to someone, thanks.
1) have your foot checked by another doctor. You shouldn't have pain after 2 years, and that is probably affecting you.

2) it sounds like you could use some help in recognizing your own worth. Neither friendship you describe is healthy, at least the way that you describe them.

Maybe go to school? Set a career goal? Sounds like you're a teacher without a degree. That doesn't seem like it's something that will fulfill you for the next 40 years. It also doesn't sound like it gives you too many employment options. Perhaps you could set a goal, and start taking little steps towards achieving it. Maybe getting a degree in something you are interested in that will open up employment opportunities?
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:52 PM   #28
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4nana
Sending hugs and prayers to you sweetie . Hoping you reach out and find someone close by you can rely on or perhaps some counseling. Our board can be full of good advise, I hope you listen to Dis friends. It's tough times for a lot of people, but there is always hope and please stay strong.
Thank you for commenting something nice. I am already in a funk and having people tell me there is more problems wrong with me is not helping. I am not making excuses I have no reason to. I am one of the nicest person ever. I will give someone the shirt of my back if they need it, but yet people still don't care about me. I am sick of texting my friend and nt getting a response no matter how many times I text her.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:53 PM   #29
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Yes I do both. Teacher and in college part time. The major thing is I am shy and I am really trying to break out of it. Because of that I don't just go up to people randomly. I also have bad anxiety due to car accidents. My life kinda sucks sometimes.
I don't have a whole lot in the way of advice but I do completely understand where you're coming from about not having any friends. I've been feeling the same way... I'm also shy and although I'm in a moms group with a bunch of wonderful ladies and have a ton of friendly acquaintances via church, other small groups, etc. it just never seems to go past the initial superficial phase of being friendly but only talking about trivial things.

I always long for a friendship I see others having; the kind where you go to a coffee shop and just talk, go out shopping together, just go over to each other's houses and hang out and be completely comfortable around each other. I last had that in college, about 15 years ago, and I really miss it. So anyway, not that it makes your situation any better, but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone; there are others looking for friends too! If you ever feel like talking just PM me.
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:56 PM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clutter

1) have your foot checked by another doctor. You shouldn't have pain after 2 years, and that is probably affecting you.

2) it sounds like you could use some help in recognizing your own worth. Neither friendship you describe is healthy, at least the way that you describe them.

Maybe go to school? Set a career goal? Sounds like you're a teacher without a degree. That doesn't seem like it's something that will fulfill you for the next 40 years. It also doesn't sound like it gives you too many employment options. Perhaps you could set a goal, and start taking little steps towards achieving it. Maybe getting a degree in something you are interested in that will open up employment opportunities?
1. I had a VERY bad injury. I had surgery on my foot and I have a screw. My doctor told me the first time I ever saw him that even if I get the surgery I could be in pain every single day. Don't just assume that it was just a simple break. I was out of work for 6 months.

I do go to school. I do have a career goal. My major is early childhood education. Where I am working right now they allow you to be an assistant without a college degree, it is not required. It is also the only preschool that goes by the regular school district and I get salary paid. All other preschools you get paid hourly, like 11 dollars an hour. That is why I do not want to move. That would not be enough to pay my bills.
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