My MIL stole my kitchen!!!

[disykat]

Originally Posted by MickeySP

This! It's not like she is wearing the same dress to a function. When are the same people gonna be in your kitchen the her's. I am betting other than family who already know her "ways" noone.


Don't sweat the small stuff

No, just something much more expensive and much more permanent.

Not sure how you call call something "small stuff" that probably costs 20K or more and will last 20 years or more?

A dress at a function? Unless it's your wedding and someone else comes in a wedding dress, the aggravation would be fairly brief.

[4nana]

I can see your point. Im sorry you have to go through this and don't blame you for being aggravated...to me it's a matter of respect. You worked hard planning your new kitchen, using your own personal tastes, and want to feel orginial and proud of your accomplishment.

One could look at this as a compliment, but others would expect their ILs, of all people, not to undermine them. At least if shes going to upgrade, it would be polite to ask you if you mind it being duplicated or simply go with different colors!

Good luck in whatever you decide and hope everything works out with your MIL . Sorry, I really have to chuckle at some of these IL/friend stories...it's never crossed my mind to try upstage my adult children, IL's, friends . I try not to sweat the small stuff as life is too short ....and besides I don't have the time, energy, patience, or money.

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Originally Posted by disykat

No, just something much more expensive and much more permanent.

Not sure how you call call something "small stuff" that probably costs 20K or more and will last 20 years or more?

A dress at a function? Unless it's your wedding and someone else comes in a wedding dress, the aggravation would be fairly brief.

Thank you! To me, the dress thing and the kitchen is apples and oranges!

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

Originally Posted by pixiewings71

I get it OP, we had a major house fire about 7 years ago, we had to completely redo our interior and much of the exterior as well. We picked a nice light blue/grey color scheme for the exterior and I'm not kidding, within 6 months 2 of our neighbors had the SAME paint scheme on their houses. LOL Yes, I was annoyed. LOL We also upgraded to better cabinets, Travertine flooring, granite counters and again, within about the same time frame a few of our neighbors had also upgraded. lol I was more annoyed about the paint then anything else though, I mean I can't tell my friends, "it's the blue house" because now there are 3 the EXACT same colors of blue. LOL I asked DBF, "do you think they took pictures of our house and took them into Home Depot to match the paint?" LOL We joke about it now but I still understand where you're coming from.
I'd be very annoyed if DBF's Mom started trying to copy my style.....lol Oh and I want to say that we live on a very short street, it's sort of like a small circle, we have about 20 houses down our street......lol

I'm sorry to hear you had a house fire I can't imagine anyone doing that with the house color.. that's ! I am sure we will joke about this someday, I'm already way closer to that then I was yesterday!

[diznygirl]

Originally Posted by pixiewings71

I get it OP, we had a major house fire about 7 years ago, we had to completely redo our interior and much of the exterior as well. We picked a nice light blue/grey color scheme for the exterior and I'm not kidding, within 6 months 2 of our neighbors had the SAME paint scheme on their houses. LOL Yes, I was annoyed. LOL We also upgraded to better cabinets, Travertine flooring, granite counters and again, within about the same time frame a few of our neighbors had also upgraded. lol I was more annoyed about the paint then anything else though, I mean I can't tell my friends, "it's the blue house" because now there are 3 the EXACT same colors of blue. LOL I asked DBF, "do you think they took pictures of our house and took them into Home Depot to match the paint?" LOL We joke about it now but I still understand where you're coming from.
I'd be very annoyed if DBF's Mom started trying to copy my style.....lol Oh and I want to say that we live on a very short street, it's sort of like a small circle, we have about 20 houses down our street......lol

Frequently these types of services will canvas the neighborhood to see if any of the neighbors want to paint/upgrade/etc, and even offer a discount. And that is how they can get the exact color as well.

I know people hate HOA's, but our HOA does not allow the same colors near each other - trying to keep it unique.

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally Posted by disykat

No, just something much more expensive and much more permanent.

Not sure how you call call something "small stuff" that probably costs 20K or more and will last 20 years or more?

A dress at a function? Unless it's your wedding and someone else comes in a wedding dress, the aggravation would be fairly brief.

Exactly!

Originally Posted by diznygirl

Frequently these types of services will canvas the neighborhood to see if any of the neighbors want to paint/upgrade/etc, and even offer a discount. And that is how they can get the exact color as well.

I know people hate HOA's, but our HOA does not allow the same colors near each other - trying to keep it unique.

[englishteacha]

We have relatives who do that. We get something or plan something, and they have to do the same thing or do it "better." We planned our honeymoon to Disney, they had to go to Disney a month before. My DH got a new truck, they got a new truck. We bought a house on Main St., they bought a house on Main St. Yeah. It sometimes is tough to stomach. OP, I get it. Really!

[North of Mouse]

Originally Posted by diznygirl

Frequently these types of services will canvas the neighborhood to see if any of the neighbors want to paint/upgrade/etc, and even offer a discount. And that is how they can get the exact color as well.

I know people hate HOA's, but our HOA does not allow the same colors near each other - trying to keep it unique.

Yes, you're right about HOA's - we absolutely *hate* them and will never live in one again. The bad far outweighs the good for us, but just our opinion.

Makes me think of a very funny story that happened to us when we lived in Gaithersburg, MD. We personally built our deck after the home was completed, because my dh & son had specific plans for it.

About 3mos. after completion, we started getting increasingly *nasty* letters from the HOA that it didn't meet with their approval, hadn't been approved by them, etc. We let their lawyers escalate, and threaten, until the letter that said if it wasn't torn down by a certain date, we would be fined and a lien put on our home -----

*Then* we showed them the approval letter for our plans that they had signed and dated for our deck. Boy, talk about back peddling, and embarrassment on their part. Still does our hearts good, many years later.
Bunch of *do gooders* going around with their clip boards every 6 mos. or so.

[disykat]

Originally Posted by North of Mouse

Yes, you're right about HOA's - we absolutely *hate* them and will never live in one again. The bad far outweighs the good for us, but just our opinion.

Makes me think of a very funny story that happened to us when we lived in Gaithersburg, MD. We personally built our deck after the home was completed, because my dh & son had specific plans for it.

About 3mos. after completion, we started getting increasingly *nasty* letters from the HOA that it didn't meet with their approval, hadn't been approved by them, etc. We let their lawyers escalate, and threaten, until the letter that said if it wasn't torn down by a certain date, we would be fined and a lien put on our home -----

*Then* we showed them the approval letter for our plans that they had signed and dated for our deck. Boy, talk about back peddling, and embarrassment on their part. Still does our hearts good, many years later.
Bunch of *do gooders* going around with their clip boards every 6 mos. or so.

There's really nothing about that story that is funny. Just makes me wonder why you wouldn't have just reminded them of their approval when the mistake was first made? I wouldn't be repeating that story - it just makes you look bad.

[Janepod]

Originally Posted by disykat

There's really nothing about that story that is funny. Just makes me wonder why you wouldn't have just reminded them of their approval when the mistake was first made? I wouldn't be repeating that story - it just makes you look bad.

Interesting perspective. I thought it was a funny story and that the only players who came off in a poor light were the overinvolved, selfimportant, know-nothing reps of the HOA.

[disykat]

Originally Posted by Janepod

Interesting perspective. I thought it was a funny story and that the only players who came off in a poor light were the overinvolved, selfimportant, know-nothing reps of the HOA.

Scenario #1 Homeowner gets letter from HOA claiming they don't have permission for deck. Homeowner rolls eyes and shows approval. Story over with only minor irritation.

Scenario #2 Homeowner gets letter from HOA claiming they don't have permission for deck. Homeowner decides to ignore while HOA is then tasked with following through to the point of involving lawyers etc. This comes at a cost of time and MONEY to the HOA which is then passed on to all the homeowners in the form of dues etc. Homeowner finally decides they've had their fun and lets them in on the fact that they've been approved all along.

Whether you agree with your HOA or not, I don't get why anyone would want to do something that costs their neighbors money just to "show them!"

[holycow]

I don't see the big deal.

[DisneyCrazyMomma]

I love all the negative people.

I made some changes to my plans tonight, sticking with my original color ideas but altering the shades, and changing some details. Also, found a new backsplash I like better.

[Jennasis]

Originally Posted by DisneyCrazyMomma

I love all the negative people.

I made some changes to my plans tonight, sticking with my original color ideas but altering the shades, and changing some details. Also, found a new backsplash I like better.

That's the spirit!

[EllaM]

Originally Posted by disykat

Whether you agree with your HOA or not, I don't get why anyone would want to do something that costs their neighbors money just to "show them!"

Because if the HOA had done their due diligence instead of going postal they would have found a copy of the letter they sent to the homeowner granting approval in the first place.

This is why people tend to hate HOAs. They give power to people who just like to mess with other people's lives. Many are very poorly run and only operate as an excuse for the local busybody to get pushy. Many an HOA has been fixed by the busbodies to miraculously change rules so said neighbor's deck, pool or fence is no longer allowable.

I live just outside a HOA area for a reason.