Late people. I hate it!!!

[kaligal]

People who routinely show up late are self-centered and rude.

But people who continue to put up with these flakes have only themselves to blame. If you allow yourselves to be treated poorly, it eventually becomes your fault.

[Ccann]

I hate being late. Always have and always will. Before getting married I was always early. If I arrived to early I would sit in the car a wait a little bit, especially arriving at someone's house. I would wait at least until someone else went in.

When I got married and had kids, it seems like I am always rushed but not because of me but because of DH. I started to have panic attacks because of it... silly i know!!! he would say we will get there when we get there...i have a saying with my softball teams, if your five minutes early your on time, if your on time you are late and if your are late your running...
So his family is 3 hours away. I might be known to wake up late or have to load the dishwasher or wait until the washing machine is done so I can put the clothes in the dryer before we leave... Oh then I have to put my makeup on... You get the idea I love paybacks.... He's in the back... Honey we should have left by now come on you knew I wanted to leave at 8 am its already 830.... While I say its okay we will get there when we get there...

[pacrosby]

Originally Posted by LilyWDW

I am always early for events. That said, I would NEVER show up at someones house 10 minutes early. I would find somewhere to wait until the actual event time so that I would not put my host out. However, I have always been taught to make sure I give myself enough time to get somewhere so I plan for possible issues such as traffic. It always seems when I give myself that extra time the drive goes smooth, but the ONE time I cut it too close is when you get behind the person going 10 under the speed limit and you hit every light.

On top of that, if I was a host, I would be okay with my guests arriving within 10 minutes on either side of the start time. I would make sure I was ready at least 10 minutes early (I don't understand people who are getting ready up to the start time as I see that as being unprepared) and would not hold it against anyone who was up to 10 minutes late. More then that though and the guest is being rude to the host and the other guests.

For meeting people places (such as a restaurant) I will always aim to be a bit early. I would rather wait in my car in the parking lot then make my friend wait for me. I do find it VERY rude for people to be late in these situations. If you say "I will meet you at 5" then you should be there at 5 (obviously I would not get mad for things out of your hands such as an accident that has them stuck).... not 5:15. Keeping people waiting is rude no matter how you try to explain it.

This is all fine and good provided you have that extra time to plan for....which sometimes people simply don't. Maybe they got home late from work through no fault of their own. Maybe their kid was sick. Maybe you wanted to meet at 5 because you wanted to be home by 7 and they knew it was going to be tight but they were trying to accomodate your schedule. Sometimes it's like a house of cards and when the first thing goes wrong (out of your control) everything that follows comes crashing down after it. And the busier someone's life, the more likely that is.

For that very reason when I make plans with people I generally say something like...we'll meet at X "at about 5" with the understanding that some will arrive alittle before, and some alittle after, but eventually we will all be together. It gives everybody plenty of wiggle room. And no one is ever left hanging...and angry.

ETA: the only exception being a party at my house...then it's "be here at 5 and not a second sooner". You can call me unprepared all you want but, since you don't live my life, you wouldn't know what you were talking about. (and imo that attitude screams of your own self centeredness : "What? You're not sitting around waiting for ME? How dare you have anything else to do but make yourself ready for MY arrival?!)

[Disney Doll]

Originally Posted by pacrosby

This is all fine and good provided you have that extra time to plan for....which sometimes people simply don't. Maybe they got home late from work through no fault of their own. Maybe their kid was sick. Maybe you wanted to meet at 5 because you wanted to be home by 7 and they knew it was going to be tight but they were trying to accomodate your schedule. Sometimes it's like a house of cards and when the first thing goes wrong (out of your control) everything that follows comes crashing down after it. And the busier someone's life, the more likely that is.

For that very reason when I make plans with people I generally say something like...we'll meet at X "at about 5" with the understanding that some will arrive alittle before, and some alittle after, but eventually we will all be together. It gives everybody plenty of wiggle room. And no one is ever left hanging...and angry.

ETA: the only exception being a party at my house...then it's "be here at 5 and not a second sooner". You can call me unprepared all you want but, since you don't live my life, you wouldn't know what you were talking about. (and imo that attitude screams of your own self centeredness : "What? You're not sitting around waiting for ME? How dare you have anything else to do but make yourself ready for MY arrival?!)

We're talking about habitual lateness....not the occasonal "such and such happened" lateness.

[MomofKatie]

Originally Posted by Hrhpd

If you are going to an event at somebody's house and you arrive 10 minutes early, do you ring the doorbell or do you wait around till the actual start time of the event?

I have to agree with others that it is far more rude to people to show up at their house 10 minutes early than 10 minutes late.

Oh, and the saying I always heard is that arriving 10 minutes after the start time is regarded as being "fashionably late" and most people I know actually plan on this when hosting an event.

As I have posted several times on this thread, no, I don't ring someone's doorbell 10 minutes early. I realize most folks don't appreciate early comers (as I'm sure they don't appreciate people who are always late). But I plan my time so I am not rushing to arrive on time or late. I like to have a little extra time. I will simply wait in the car or drive around the block until the start time of the event.

And, I consider it far more rude to be late than a bit early. YMMV, but that is just a core difference between "always lates" and "always punctuals".

[kaligal]

Originally Posted by MomofKatie

And, I consider it far more rude to be late than a bit early. YMMV, but that is just a core difference between "always lates" and "always punctuals".

Yup. People get reputations. Everyone knows who is reliable and who will show up late, flustered and with a story about how X Y and Z went wrong or how they thought it was for 3:00, not 2:30.

You have your responsible people and you have your flakes.

[pacrosby]

Originally Posted by Disney Doll

We're talking about habitual lateness....not the occasonal "such and such happened" lateness.

Actually, on this thread, people seem to be talking about all sorts of different kinds of lateness.

My point was simply to illustrate that you can't throw everyone in a single category. Not everyone who is late is rude and self centered. And yes, that even includes those who might do it alittle more often that you might like. And depending on how you look at it, those who think they are could share the same title. It's still all about 'me, me, me', no matter how you slice it.

[Iforgetmypassword]

Originally Posted by MomofKatie

DH and I live by the old saying: If you are 10 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are late. If you are late, you are left out.

Originally Posted by MomofKatie

As I have posted several times on this thread, no, I don't ring someone's doorbell 10 minutes early. I realize most folks don't appreciate early comers (as I'm sure they don't appreciate people who are always late). But I plan my time so I am not rushing to arrive on time or late. I like to have a little extra time. I will simply wait in the car or drive around the block until the start time of the event.

And, I consider it far more rude to be late than a bit early. YMMV, but that is just a core difference between "always lates" and "always punctuals".

You're contradicting yourself. Either you're 10 minutes early, and thus "on time", according to your "old saying", or you're right on time according to the clock, which is late, according to the "old saying".

Which is why this is a stupid expression. I'm so glad I never heard of it before, and don't believe it's true. Why can't "on time" just be called "on time"?

[MomofKatie]

Originally Posted by Iforgetmypassword

You're contradicting yourself. Either you're 10 minutes early, and thus "on time", according to your "old saying", or you're right on time according to the clock, which is late, according to the "old saying".

Which is why this is a stupid expression. I'm so glad I never heard of it before, and don't believe it's true. Why can't "on time" just be called "on time"?

Oh, goodness- just forget I said anything. I didn't make up the saying...

[PizzieDuster]

Originally Posted by sndfan

Wow. I have to admit, although I would have been ticked off, there's a time to cut bait. If it was obvious that we weren't expected, I would have left, headed home and caught the second half. I can't imagine running to the grocery store for food, etc unless it was my sister or BFF!!

I know, I know, I know you guys! Trust me. NEVER AGAIN!

I guess it's not often the Iowa Hawkeyes are in a college football bowl game on New Years day.

I must love my hubby very very much...but lesson learned I promise! As I'm watching him snooze with his Iowa sweatshirt on right now. Boys and their "team".

Just in case any one cares, that man preferred boxers ewww

[Ccann]

Originally Posted by MomofKatie

Oh, goodness- just forget I said anything. I didn't make up the saying...

I say it all the time, especially for sports... When practice starts at 2:00pm I want you to start running at 2:00pm not pulling up in the parking lot... I get the saying and use it all the time.....

I am always early especially when I have control over the situation. (Only time I don't is if we have to be somewhere as a family, me and the kids are ready but DH isn't) but with that said if I am invited to a baby shower etc, unless I am super close with this person I do not ring the door bell 15 minutes early I will wait out in the car and work on something there for a few minutes and wait for someone else to show up or 1 or 2 minutes before said party time.

There's alway exceptions to the rule... And a party at someone's house is one of those. I get busy and hectic I have one of those. But I am also considerate of peoples time, I would like to think everyone is as busy and hectic as me,

I think the old saying is perfect for
Sports
Classes (I had a college professor who would lock the door right on time, if you weren't in the class you were locked out and left out if it was a test day you got a zero)
Interviews
Business meetings
Concerts, you don't show up right on time or late expecting to find a good parking spot.

I am sure for those who haven't heard that saying "5 minutes early on time, on time your.....etc, you must have heard "you snooze you loose" same concept, "early bird catches the worm"

[MIGrandma]

I am an early person too. I'd rather be early, and sit in my car and wait a few minutes, rather than be even a tiny bit late.

We used to have some friends who were habitually late. In fact, they set the clocks in their house 15-minutes fast so they would be "on time" more often.

I always hated waiting for them when we were going to a movie together. I like to get there early, before the previews start so I have time to get popcorn, choose a good seat, maybe use the restroom before the show starts, etc. But when we went with them we were always walking into a dark theater after the previews had already begun, and then trying to find seats together. Ugh!

[Ginny Favers]

It irks me to no end when parents consistently show up 15 minutes late for DD3's ballet class. It's a 30 MINUTE CLASS! The poor kids barely have time to do one plie and then it's time to leave. What's the point?

[kaligal]

Originally Posted by MomofKatie

Oh, goodness- just forget I said anything. I didn't make up the saying...

I never heard the whole thing, but I've heard the, "If you're on time, you're late" part.

Showing up on time generally means people aren't ready for a few more minutes. You need to be a few minutes ready to go, so if you want to be on time, you need to be early.

Showing up at the appointed time, on the dot, is rarely the best way to go.

WORSE than showing up late is showing up late and making people waste more time listening to your excuses about why you're late. We know why. You're late because you aren't responsible. Stop wasting our time and patience by telling your dumb stories.

And stop thinking everyone else thinks that it is harder for you to be on time than it is for everyone else. It isn't. We don't.

Also, stop thinking that you're so special that everyone else should wait for you and do it happily. You aren't. We won't.

[goofyintoronto]

Totally agree with you. I hate chronically late people. HATE IT! My friends know this. One time my friend left me waiting for more than 20-30 minutes, so I left without letting them know. she shows up wondering where I am. She calls me, and I tell her "sorry but I just assumed you stiffed me since you had me waiting 20-30 min, so I left". No i did not turn back to meet her. She learned since then and hasnt been late since. LOL!