Disney Information Station Logo

Go Back   The DIS Discussion Forums - DISboards.com > Just for Fun > Community Board
Find Hotel Specials & DIScounts
 
facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS UpdatesDIS email updates
Register Chat FAQ Tickers Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read





Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 02-05-2013, 08:47 AM   #61
nchulka
it was funny when the creepy guys would follow close to them and then pull their chainsaws
 
nchulka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1,306

Quote:
Originally Posted by shortbun View Post
Most parents are aware of the need for flexibility. Glad all your kids performed as expected. Many do not. OP-imho, you have unrealistic expectations of your friend. Help her instead of judging her. Never wake a sleeping baby, especially when it's the only sleep he's getting.
My kids both performed as expected. It's all about sleep training. I believe the OP is frustrated with her friend because she just lets the kid (not even a baby anymore) fall asleep and wake up when he wants. It is annoying to parents who realize how easy it is to get babies to sleep on a schedule that other parents sit a complain about how sleep deprived and overwhelmed they are when they don't have to be. I put both of mine on a schedule from the time we came home from the hospital, they both had it down pat between 1-2 months old. I got plenty of sleep at night, I had nap times you could set you watch by literally since I always put them down and got them up at the same time everyday. This gave me plenty of time to do all my laundry/housework and chill with some ice cream and TV during naps and left me nice and refreshed to Play and snuggle during the times they were awake. Most parents aren't willing to listen to any crying in the beginning and can't see that it is for the childs well being down the road, so they create demanding little monsters by letting the baby dictate the schedule and feeding on demand and letting the sleep/wake whenever they want. I understand OPs frustration, I've felt it towards other parents as well. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me when someone says their baby won't sleep on their own. Of course they will, they are babies, they can't go anywhere. Put them in bed and they will eventually sleep. The problem is mommy can't stand to hear crying, not that the baby can't sleep. It's for the babies own good. By 8 weeks my kids both had very balanced schedules where they were well fed and got great sleep. They were happy and content! It was worth a few weeks of crying that they don't remember at all. As opposed to babies who didn't get enough sleep and were cranky and demanding and not well rested.
__________________
Me DH DD(10) DS (9)
nchulka is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 08:56 AM   #62
Granny square
Always planning a trip!
 
Granny square's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,732

I found that you have stages of sleep issues to deal with. An illness or change in schedule would foul up my usually happy sleepers.

At 17 months each of mine had figured out how to scale the crib fortress an I'd hear a big old THUMP.

Lol, kids are different and what works for one doesn't always work for another. Then add in the temperaments of the parents and it can get complicated. A friends husband would stress out so much when the babies fussed at night that she often wound up sleeping in the their room. You seldom know what goes on in the homes of others.
__________________
wishing I was at the beach!
Granny square is offline   Reply With Quote
|
The DIS
Register to remove

Join Date: 1997
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 1,000,000
Old 02-05-2013, 09:24 AM   #63
Acklander
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Gypsy
Posts: 5,509

Quote:
Originally Posted by nchulka View Post
My kids both performed as expected. It's all about sleep training. I believe the OP is frustrated with her friend because she just lets the kid (not even a baby anymore) fall asleep and wake up when he wants. It is annoying to parents who realize how easy it is to get babies to sleep on a schedule that other parents sit a complain about how sleep deprived and overwhelmed they are when they don't have to be. I put both of mine on a schedule from the time we came home from the hospital, they both had it down pat between 1-2 months old. I got plenty of sleep at night, I had nap times you could set you watch by literally since I always put them down and got them up at the same time everyday. This gave me plenty of time to do all my laundry/housework and chill with some ice cream and TV during naps and left me nice and refreshed to Play and snuggle during the times they were awake. Most parents aren't willing to listen to any crying in the beginning and can't see that it is for the childs well being down the road, so they create demanding little monsters by letting the baby dictate the schedule and feeding on demand and letting the sleep/wake whenever they want. I understand OPs frustration, I've felt it towards other parents as well. It's like nails on a chalkboard to me when someone says their baby won't sleep on their own. Of course they will, they are babies, they can't go anywhere. Put them in bed and they will eventually sleep. The problem is mommy can't stand to hear crying, not that the baby can't sleep. It's for the babies own good. By 8 weeks my kids both had very balanced schedules where they were well fed and got great sleep. They were happy and content! It was worth a few weeks of crying that they don't remember at all. As opposed to babies who didn't get enough sleep and were cranky and demanding and not well rested.
Oh please, just because I don't believe in ferberizing my child doesn't mean I'm creating a demanding little monster. Actually, I have a couple of great kids, who grew into independent, giving, wonderful people all without the benefit of crying it out.
__________________
Acklander
Acklander is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 09:31 AM   #64
Jenn
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Cumming, Georgia
Posts: 1,772

My girlfriends and I have a saying "we all have our crazy". In other words I do stuff they think is crazy, they do stuff I think is crazy. My kids are teenagers. Almost all my friends' kids are under 8 or so. Sometimes I totally disagree with their parenting and I'm sure they do with mine. I'm dealing with cellphones, back talk, messy bedrooms, college in a few years, dating, etc. They are dealing with temper tantrums, picky eating, naps, potty training. We try to respect each other and let it roll off our backs, even though we all have an opinion of how we would handle a situation if it were us. It's hard sometimes.
__________________
Jenn
Jenn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 09:46 AM   #65
MichelleVW
I call them "the people that live in my house"
 
MichelleVW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: DFW
Posts: 9,020

Quote:
Originally Posted by Christine View Post
OP, I have raised two kids and I will agree that your friend sounds like a wackadoodle!

Just remember these things when your own gets here. Don't let the child take control of every situation. Sometimes it's hard not to let that happen, and sometimes some parents seem to relish it.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jrmasm View Post
If I heard my child care provider say that, I would fire him/her so fast their head would spin. What an incredibly insulting and stupid thing to say, even in jest.
Lol....we don't say those things in front of parents, but when we have an infant from 6:30 a.m to 6:30 p.m even when the parents have the day off, it's hard to not feel that way.
__________________
MichelleVW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 09:46 AM   #66
DisneyATlast
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 158

It's so funny how different everyone is when it comes to kids. Some people are like, "Oh, just wait. She's exhausted! Just imagine being sleep deprived, blah blah blah." Uhh....the kid is 1.5 years old, not 4 days old. There are people who go to work, school, or both and they don't find it "draining" or "exhausting" or whatever. The whole "you can't possibly understand until you're a mother" only really works on men or people who aren't mothers. Some people are mothers and they still think the notion that raising a kid is a life draining chore is ridiculous.
DisneyATlast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 09:48 AM   #67
MichelleVW
I call them "the people that live in my house"
 
MichelleVW's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: DFW
Posts: 9,020

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyATlast View Post
It's so funny how different everyone is when it comes to kids. Some people are like, "Oh, just wait. She's exhausted! Just imagine being sleep deprived, blah blah blah." Uhh....the kid is 1.5 years old, not 4 days old. There are people who go to work, school, or both and they don't find it "draining" or "exhausting" or whatever. The whole "you can't possibly understand until you're a mother" only really works on men or people who aren't mothers. Some people are mothers and they still think the notion that raising a kid is a life draining chore is ridiculous.
Agreed....it's not as hard as some people make it out to be. (and I had a baby that cried for the first 4 months of her life).
__________________
MichelleVW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 09:50 AM   #68
pacrosby
DIS Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: central massachusetts
Posts: 1,950

Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleVW View Post



Lol....we don't say those things in front of parents, but when we have an infant from 6:30 a.m to 6:30 p.m even when the parents have the day off, it's hard to not feel that way.
No kidding. The kid's at daycare 12 hours a day. Home 12 hours.......9-10 of which of which are spent sleeping. Do the math.
pacrosby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:00 AM   #69
design_mom
I am probably more like my dad than I care to admit
I hate touching raw meat
 
design_mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 2,990

Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleVW View Post
Lol....we don't say those things in front of parents, but when we have an infant from 6:30 a.m to 6:30 p.m even when the parents have the day off, it's hard to not feel that way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by pacrosby View Post
No kidding. The kid's at daycare 12 hours a day. Home 12 hours.......9-10 of which of which are spent sleeping. Do the math.
Really? Does this thread, like so many others, *have* to go that way? Childcare was not at all part of the OP.
__________________
Mom to DS13 and DD9.
design_mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:01 AM   #70
luvsJack
DIS Veteran
 
luvsJack's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: My own little corner of the world
Posts: 12,830

Sure all kids are different and what works for one doesn't work for another. The thing is, it really sounds like this mom could use some advise on how to get her child to sleep at night. And its easy enough to try different things until you find what works for that child.

We just went through something similar with dgd. Dil was getting little to no sleep at night because the little one was up late and the older one was up early.
So, she asked me what to do. The younger child (she will be 2 in March but was 18-20 months at the time) was taking a short nap before lunch and a late nap before dinner. Dil continued letting her do this because the child would actually get her blanket and go to the door of her room wanting to get in the crib. So, I told her it may take a few days of an unhappy child but she could probably work it out in the end.

So, dil stopped the morning snooze by shortening it by 15 minutes at the time (waking the baby up) and did the same with the late afternoon nap. That got her going to bed early. Once the morning nap was gone, dgd started taking a nap after lunch and the problem was solved. Now she and her older sister have the same sleep patterns.

Does it work the same way every day? No. And it took awhile before dgd adjusted to it and became her happy, cheerful self again.

When I had a baby and a toddler, I had to try a dozen different things until the toddler was taking his nap at the same time as one of the baby's longer naps--that way I could get some rest too.

When dd came along, she had to go to work with me (child care center) so I knew that when she got down to one nap a day, it had to be at the same time as the nap time in child care. So, again, different methods of getting her in bed at a certain time at night so that she was up in the a.m. and ready for a nap at noon.

Crying it out wasn't one of the methods I ever tried. But I know it works for some. It made me cry and stressed, so not what I needed to do.

My point is, that while the same things do not work for every child there is no sense in being miserable and getting no sleep. Try different methods until you hit on the one that does work for the mom and the child.
__________________


10 pounds closer to Skinny Island!
luvsJack is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:02 AM   #71
Granny square
Always planning a trip!
 
Granny square's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,732

Quote:
Originally Posted by DisneyATlast
It's so funny how different everyone is when it comes to kids. Some people are like, "Oh, just wait. She's exhausted! Just imagine being sleep deprived, blah blah blah." Uhh....the kid is 1.5 years old, not 4 days old. There are people who go to work, school, or both and they don't find it "draining" or "exhausting" or whatever. The whole "you can't possibly understand until you're a mother" only really works on men or people who aren't mothers. Some people are mothers and they still think the notion that raising a kid is a life draining chore is ridiculous.
It depends. I had undiagnosed ppd 3 times before we figured it out for the next. I was overwhelmed and exhausted. I made it through because I have a great husband and mom and sisters and friends.

You may have found it all easy peasy and that is great. I've found the majority don't in the many years since. It isn't because they suck or are lazy. I have a friend who is an awesome mom. To teens. She just didn't get babies. She muddled through it though.

So it is easy if you thrived during that time to say it is all easy. Mine sleep trained easily. But I had a picky eater. Exposed to all the same foods as siblings but picky.

Kids all are different. Parents have high points and low points.

Mother wars don't benefit anyone. Looking down your nose is not cool. Looking down your nose when you haven't even tucked a toe into parenting even less so. Whether you are a guy or girl.
__________________
wishing I was at the beach!
Granny square is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:19 AM   #72
DisneyATlast
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 158

I never said that being a parent is easy. Some people just make it a lot harder than it should be. When you're the grown up, you set a schedule for your baby and adjust their routine to fit yours. You don't adjust your life to fit theirs. Well, some people do. I guess that's where the term "special little snowflake" was born. Like my MIL used to say, "You're the big person. She's the little person." If parenting is that much of an exhausting task then something, somewhere is going wrong.
DisneyATlast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:20 AM   #73
Christine
Would love to be able to sit on the couch for a few days, get a good book, and do NOTHING!
Considers the DIS as Bladder Training 101
 
Join Date: Aug 1999
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 24,029

Quote:
Originally Posted by design_mom View Post
Really? Does this thread, like so many others, *have* to go that way? Childcare was not at all part of the OP.
Some people can't resist the underhanded digs.
__________________
Christine

Vacation Home - Indian Creek - July 2012
Vacation Home - Terre Verde Resort - July 2009
Vacation Home - Terre Verde Resort - Easter 2007
Shades of Green - June 2005
Vistana Resort - May 01
Shades of Green - May 99
Shades of Green - Apr 97
CBR & Shades of Green - May 95
Christine is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:24 AM   #74
Wishing on a star
DIS Veteran
Another proud Southerner!
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Posts: 14,275

Well, whether the OP is a parent, and therefore qualified to make the determination... it does sound like the friend may be well on her way to being one of those-parents of a snowflake.

On the other hand, attitudes like the one I am getting from DisneyATlast, on the other far side of the spectrum are equally scary!

I think it is the very, very, very, rare case where being a parent is that staightforward.. and it is almost never 'easy'.
Wishing on a star is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-05-2013, 10:30 AM   #75
DisneyATlast
Mouseketeer
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 158

Quote:
Originally Posted by MichelleVW View Post




Lol....we don't say those things in front of parents, but when we have an infant from 6:30 a.m to 6:30 p.m even when the parents have the day off, it's hard to not feel that way.
My daughter went to daycare while I went to class, and then I worked there after class so that I could pay for the daycare fee. There was this one kid who really was a "special little snowflake" and his parents would come in LATE every day and want to stand around watching him play with blocks or whatever he was doing. They thought it was so cute. We were all like, "Really?! It's time to go home. Just because you haven't ever seen your child built a lego tower doesn't mean the rest of us who have seen it for 12 hours today are impressed. Get your kid and go HOME!" I really loved the parents who lied to DHS about having a job so they got daycare for free. They would come in wearing pajamas and then go back home to sleep. Lovely!
DisneyATlast is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply



Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

facebooktwitterpinterestgoogle plusyoutubeDIS Updates
GET OUR DIS UPDATES DELIVERED BY EMAIL



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:23 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

Copyright © 1997-2014, Werner Technologies, LLC. All Rights Reserved.