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Old 02-04-2013, 05:12 PM   #31
Rylee
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Wow, OP, I have no idea what your posting history is here on the Dis, but people seems quick to call you out.

In the future, when your friend suggest a time within his normal nap-time, point out that it usually doesn't work out and suggest a different time. When she text about the baby still being awake at 11pm, text back, and point out he probably isn't tired because he had such a late or long nap. Remove any emotion, don't judge, and just state the facts.

As the mother of 5 children, I said I'd never make the same mistakes with my next baby. And you know what... I didn't... I just made different mistakes. lol
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:22 PM   #32
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My kids are teenagers and my sister now has a 5 year old and a 6 month old. She told me recently that she felt exactly the way you do about your friend before having children of her own. Then she learned. You will too. Being a parent is hard and people make mistakes. I know it's frustrating. It drives me crazy that I can't have a 2 minute conversation with my sister without being interrupted, but not so many years ago, the roles were reversed!
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Old 02-04-2013, 05:30 PM   #33
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You are right. And I'm sensitive too because I'm pregnant.

The "I have no friends and no one helps me with him" texts drive me to tears because if I'm not her friend then what am I? I rearrange my schedule to help her because others won't because she has cancelled so much, but she has no friends and no time to herself.

I KNOW I will make mistakes. I just hope I have enough sense not to alienate the people who are there for me.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:04 PM   #34
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She sounds overwhelmed and possibly depressed. Chances are you'll be feeling that stud to one degree or another also. You say you are sensitive because you are pregnant and that is understandable. Now imagine being so sleep deprived that you can't make good decisions. And feeling out of control because all isn't working the way you thought they would. Far bigger issues than pregnancy hormones.

Go see her. Offer to help out. At least that is what id do.
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:06 PM   #35
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My neighbour sits up at night patting and rocking her dog to sleep at night on her chest while she sits on the sofa. She couldn't understand why we laughed when she proudly announced the other week that he actually fell asleep on his own on the floor The dog is two years old!
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:09 PM   #36
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There is no way that I would get my daughter up when she was a year and a half old just to change her diaper. And there is really no way that I would stay up and play with her until she fell asleep. I have friends who will lie down with their children and stay with them until they fall asleep. That isn't for me, either. When I put my daughter to bed, that is my time that I like to spend with my husband. But, I try to tell myself that what works for me doesn't work for everyone and that just because I wouldn't do it, doesn't mean others don't find it works best for them. Not an easy mindset for me to achieve since I am one of those people (re: humans) who has to work hard at realizing I'm not right all the time.

I would be annoyed with my friend constantly cancelling on me, even though I completely agree that I wouldn't want to wake a sleeping baby. It would annoy me because, well, I am viewing things from my perspective and I had plans, likely bowed out on other things, and now I'm sitting at home doing nothing. Maybe, instead of making definitive plans, you could suggest that the two of you plan to go to dinner but don't set a time. Tell her to call you when the baby wakes up. That way, she isn't always cancelling on you and she can also let the baby sleep.
You're a monster!
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Old 02-04-2013, 06:17 PM   #37
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Originally Posted by Marlea98 View Post
My neighbour sits up at night patting and rocking her dog to sleep at night on her chest while she sits on the sofa. She couldn't understand why we laughed when she proudly announced the other week that he actually fell asleep on his own on the floor The dog is two years old!
I sound like your neighbor
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:01 PM   #38
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You are right. If I wanted advice I should have worded the post differently. Lesson learned.
For being pregnant and frustarted you are very gracious! I am a mother of 2 and raise other peoples children for a living (I own a daycare and work daily with infants-preschool). I can understand your frustration! Sometimes other people's parenting choices will just drive you NUTS! And yeah you can't really "understand until you've done it" but you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders and see the bigger picture. IMHO she sounds in over her head with a history of parenting choices that have actually made her life harder. Perhaps you can recommend a book like "The Sleep Book For Tired Parents". I still use this when things pop up! Also a quick explaination about her timing issues and how they effect you might help. You don't have to be rude but do be truthful and let her know that it makes you upset when she cancels. A toddler who has slept for a full 2 hours can absolutely be woken up and taken somewhere. But like PP said, she's probably so tired she can't imagine waking her kid EVER! Good luck
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Old 02-04-2013, 07:36 PM   #39
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I am a mother of 2 and raise other peoples children for a living (I own a daycare and work daily with infants-preschool).
WOW. That is all I will say
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:00 PM   #40
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Quote:
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WOW. That is all I will say
I'm hoping she is a foster mom a d that isn't her opinion of her daycare job.
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Old 02-04-2013, 08:29 PM   #41
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Wow, OP... I am really impressed with how you've kept your responses so civil even after people are repeatedly calling you out. Classy.

I appreciate your vent! It's not like any of us are going to bump into your friend at the grocery store and say, "Hey, StitchesGr8Fan has been really ragging on you on the Dis boards. What a bad friend."

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Old 02-04-2013, 09:14 PM   #42
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WOW. That is all I will say
Sorry that came out poorly. It's actually an inside joke and I should not have used it in a public forum with people who don't know me personally.
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:32 PM   #43
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I'm hoping she is a foster mom a d that isn't her opinion of her daycare job.
I think taking in foster kids "for a living" sounds just as bad.
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Old 02-04-2013, 09:37 PM   #44
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Sorry that came out poorly. It's actually an inside joke and I should not have used it in a public forum with people who don't know me personally.
Nothing wrong with what you said.
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Old 02-04-2013, 10:36 PM   #45
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It is far easier to parent before you are one.
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