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Old 02-03-2013, 04:17 PM   #61
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Originally Posted by FayeW View Post
Honestly? I'm looking forward to a little distance.
Does it happen that you currently have teenagers?

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Old 02-03-2013, 04:31 PM   #62
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Originally Posted by NHdisneylover View Post
Does it happen that you currently have teenagers?
How'd ya guess
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Old 02-03-2013, 04:45 PM   #63
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Old 02-06-2013, 12:22 AM   #64
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I'm kinda late to this, but I just HAVE to add my input here.

My parents are both Cuban as well, the only difference is my brothers and I were raised in Broward and not Dade.

When I was 17, I applied to Nova, USF and FSU. All my friends and my boyfriend at the time got accepted to FSU and I was rejected. I was pretty upset about it, but I couldn't accept it, so I appealed it and got in. Let me tell you how furious my mother was when I told her that I not only got into FSU, but I had about 20 days left at home before I had to start classes....

I tried really hard to go home as often as I could, but that 7 hour drive was just awful. She was hysterical every time we had to say goodbye and it killed me that I was the cause of that. After my second year of living in Tallahassee she stopped crying.

I just have to say that moving out is one of the best things you can do for yourself. I didn't know how to cook, do laundry, pay bills, etc. until I left home. Hispanic mothers have a tendency to baby their children and do everything for them...it feels so good when you cook your first delicious meal, in your own apartment, that you paid rent for..rent money that you worked for and earned yourself. Moving out forces you to grow up and learn how to fend for yourself. You establish your own sense of pride.

Most of my cousins (in their 20's) still live at their parent's houses in Miami...it's like they just got stuck there. My brother will be 20 next week and he lives with my parents as well. I keep telling him to move in with me (I live in Orlando now) Not to be mean, but how is he going to meet a girl and bring her home when my parents sleep down the hall? My mom is even encouraging him to leave the nest.

It goes to show you that they eventually see your side of things, at least my mom did. Now my family loves to come to Orlando to see me. We go to the theme parks and have nice dinners together. I think you should absolutely move out...she WILL get over it one day
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Old 02-06-2013, 07:37 AM   #65
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I would not consider my child ungrateful for wanting to move elsewhere. I'm trying to get my daughter to spread her wings and experience different things. I don't want her to feel that she has to stay here forever just because we live here.

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Old 02-06-2013, 07:54 AM   #66
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I'd consider my job well done that my child can strike out on his own in a new place. No disrespect to your mom, but it pains me to see anyone held back from an opportunity or their wishes because their parents can't cut the chord and are thinking only about themselves.
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:23 AM   #67
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Old 02-06-2013, 08:30 AM   #68
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Originally Posted by FayeW View Post
Honestly? I'm looking forward to a little distance.

This is first year both DD are away at college and we like it.
Although the older is graduating in May and is moving back...
Just taste of them both gone this school year has been very nice.
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:10 AM   #69
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Originally Posted by okeydokey View Post
If both of my kids end up within 3 or 4 hours from me, I would be thrilled. It's a big country and they could end up so much farther away.

I don't mean to be snarky, but I really hope neither of my kids marry into a family with those kinds of expectations. I want to them to be able to make their own family where it is best for them.
Totally agree with this!
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:16 AM   #70
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I think Independence from you parents can be a great thing. I also, however, can't image at this point living far from my parents. Not hispanic, but one of 4 kids that all live within 15 miles. I would move if it was really necessary for my family to survive or significantly improve our job prospects. I would have move for a few years when I was young and single or married without kids - but if I knew that I could come back. For me, having grandparents as a regular part of my child's life is priceless. If my son decides to move someday I will respect that. Once we retire, however, my dh and I will probably move to be closer to him. It is like the country song says "do what what I did when your mama left me, I just backed up my bags and went with her".
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:32 AM   #71
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Originally Posted by Mac4life30 View Post
Simple question that I am currently dealing with.

If your kids decided to move away from home at an appropriate age would you consider them ungrateful? If they were moving to a different city/state/country would you consider them to be even more ungrateful?

My question comes as a Hispanic male son who is considering moving from Miami to Orlando. I however am getting all sorts of guilt trips from my Hispanic mom. The reason is that the mentality from a Hispanic is your kids live with you till they get married, they then move out but live no more than 10 miles from you and weekends are always spent together.
What a bunch of crock. Our youngest son lives in NZ. They have the right to choose just like the parents did. Some people need to *cut the apron strings* and let their kids fly the nest. It's not our right to tell our grown children what to do/where to live. That would be the best way to make them want to leave.
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Old 02-06-2013, 09:38 AM   #72
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Originally Posted by aprilgail2 View Post
I only have one so you can be darn certain that if she moved away I would move someplace near her--- I would not want to be a grandparent that only saw the grandkids 2-3 times a year, that would not make me happy at all.
You would have had a rough time if you were my mom. We've been transferred several times with dh's job. In our case, you would just have had to stay *unhappy*, or get over it.
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Old 02-06-2013, 01:46 PM   #73
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When I graduated HS, I went to college in Indiana (we lived outside Philadelphia at the time.) When my brother graduated 3 years later, he moved to Florida (my parents were still in the Philly area.)

I remember having a conversation with my Mom because she was upset we were moving away from her. I said to her, "it's because you've raised us to be confident and to try new things. You also raised us to know where ever we are, whatever we do, you will always be there for us." It helped. She would never consider stopping us from following the opportunities, but it was still a valid feeling. We're still a really tight-knit family even though until recently, there has always been a ton of distance between us.

My parents moved to Florida 2 years after my brother, and I moved with my husband last year....we're still 2 hours from my parents and my brother (and they're an hour apart too.)

So while I don't have the cultural background as the OP, I think it's something that all parents go through. You raise your kids to be independent adults, but when they finally leave the nest, it's hard to let go.
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Old 02-06-2013, 01:53 PM   #74
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Originally Posted by Handbag Lady View Post
Hahahahaha! I had the audacity to not only move out of our small town, I moved like four "towns" away. Then, after 10 years, I moved away further.

I am now a whopping 45 minutes away from my family. We're all STILL IN LOS ANGELES PROPER.

You'd think that would make me relate to the OP? You're nuts. I'm the one that moved away. I'm the one who divided the family and it will FOREVER be my fault that Christmas and Thanksgiving is ruined. Either I have to drive all the way there, or they have to make the horrid trek out to my house and there is no way now for us all to be together Christmas Eve and Christmas Day THE SAME YEAR.

And we're not even hispanic or religious.

When I was young, we moved across the river into South Jersey. We were less than an hour from my Mom's family. We always traveled over to their houses because they refused to make the trek all the way over to Jersey.
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:41 AM   #75
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Originally Posted by onelilspark View Post
You raise your kids to be independent adults, but when they finally leave the nest, it's hard to let go.

Can't help myself but to wonder if this is one of the extreme cases of not letting go or she just simply hates that team?

Many parents want their children to go to a certain school, usually one close to home. So in that regard, Alex Collins' mother isn't that different.

But Collins' mother might be the first to steal her son's national letter of intent, then run away and hide so her son couldn't fax in his official papers.

Collins is a Rivals.com four-star running back from Plantation, Fla., and he wanted to attend Arkansas. His mother wanted him to stay close to home. Collins didn't change his mind, but his mother reportedly went to extreme measures to keep him from making it official.


"His mother has confiscated the papers, she took them and she ran," Long said on ESPNU. "They’re looking for her currently. From what I understand Alex is not at the school right now, he’s looking for his mom. She was quite torn up about him leaving so far from home."

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