Are you friends with your under 18 child on facebook?

[rszdtrvl]

Poll coming.....

I am just curious because I have always told DS that I would never make him be my friend, but due to certain circumstances, I have changed my mind. He had a choice to either stay off facebook, or be my friend so I can keep tabs on him online. He is 16. He grudgingly chose to be my facebook friend.

[HelenePA]

Yes, but I have them blocked from seeing anything I say.

[karen l]

My youngest DS is 18 today but he's been on fb for awhile. We discussed it before he went on it & he knew he'd have to friend me or get off if there were any issues. Fortunately, he was careful with his posts so we had no problems. You're doing the right thing - good luck with it.

[NHdisneylover]

I am facebook friends with both of my kids, and several of THEIR friends. All by request of the kids.

[rszdtrvl]

Originally Posted by karen l

My youngest DS is 18 today but he's been on fb for awhile. We discussed it before he went on it & he knew he'd have to friend me or get off if there were any issues. Fortunately, he was careful with his posts so we had no problems. You're doing the right thing - good luck with it.

Thank you. He has some social issues that he is seeing a counselor about, and has been taken off facebook since New Years eve. He is a very social person though, and I have felt guilty basically cutting him off from his friends. I hope I made the right decision in allowing him back on.

[fimac]

Yes, for all of the kids. They are also friends with their Grandmother and various relatives.
It is a reminder to them that nothing you post online is private and if do not want your mother to read it then you should not post it. However, I do not comment on any of their posts.

[disykat]

Yes, I am their friend. I creep their friends pages sometimes too. However, I never comment on their pages etc. I accept friend requests, but never request anyone under 21.

[Mickey'snewestfan]

I voted other. My kid wanted. A facebook account and I said "only if we are friends." He didn't want other people to see my name on his friend list, he said that was embarassing but I could have his log in info and check that way which seemed reasonable to me.

[rszdtrvl]

Originally Posted by Mickey'snewestfan

I voted other. My kid wanted. A facebook account and I said "only if we are friends." He didn't want other people to see my name on his friend list, he said that was embarassing but I could have his log in info and check that way which seemed reasonable to me.

I have all of that and have had it since the beginning. I just want him to be more accountable of what he says. And to realize that when he posts something that I will have it on my page as well.

[StephMK]

Yes, DD19 has been online for several years and has always been friends with me, her dad, and several family members. DD12, almost 13, just got an account and is also friends with many family members. Around here, it is typical that parents & family are part of the FB friends list. I see DD's friend's parents post and everything on their kids' pages, no big deal.

We did tell DD12 that we would have full access to her account and could read her posts, messages, and texts. We just discovered that we need to confiscate her phone at night due to FB msgs after hours.

I will tell you though that when kids don't want their parents to see something, they go to Twitter or some other social media. When DD18 & her friends all planned to get tattoos last year, they planned & posted about it on Twitter instead. DD18 admitted that they go there to write about "other" stuff. Since she was a senior by then, I didn't have a problem with it.

[indimom]

Originally Posted by NHdisneylover

I am facebook friends with both of my kids, and several of THEIR friends. All by request of the kids.

Ditto.

[bethbuchall]

I don't have a child under 18 that has a Facebook account.

If a child can block/control what you see, how much does friending him/her really help you know what is going on? Would it be better to insist on either having the password to the account or having him/her log you onto the account on a regular basis? (These are honest questions. I'm not trying to be snarky.)

[wdwmom0f3]

Yes, I am friends with my children on facebook, I thought it would be a great way to keep an eye on them to make sure they were behaving.

The problem is that all of the kids know that the parents are watching them on Facebook so we see little or no activity from them and their friends now. They have all moved to Twitter and Instagram instead of facebook. That's where the drama is, and that's where they are misbehaving. I hear about it every day.

[JessB320]

Yes I am. I always remember however that she can block things from my view if she wants to do I may not be seeing everything

[maslex]

I have two boys (17 and my youngest will be 16 in a little over month). I have been friends with them since the day they signed up with FB. They are also friends with their dad, grandmother, aunts, uncles, adult neighbors, etc. They knew it was our rule and they had no problem with it.

We also have no problem liking or commenting on their posts. Granted, it's not every one.

Originally Posted by StephMK

I will tell you though that when kids don't want their parents to see something, they go to Twitter or some other social media. When DD18 & her friends all planned to get tattoos last year, they planned & posted about it on Twitter instead. DD18 admitted that they go there to write about "other" stuff. Since she was a senior by then, I didn't have a problem with it.

And this is so true. My oldest son is on Twitter. I decided to pop on there one day just to check things out. I found him and noticed his language was quite colorful. No other family members are on Twitter. So atleast he keeps it over there and doesn't "offend" everyone else over on FB.