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Old 01-24-2013, 04:20 PM   #76
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I think in general, under 21 is very young (too young for most people) to get married.

22 to early 30s seems pretty typical, and mid to late thirties seems on the later side.

I was 26 and DH was 28, and we joke that no one under 30 should get married! We celebrate 25 years next month. Most of our crow got married between the ages of 23 and 29. We were constantly in or going to weddings those years!
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:23 PM   #77
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My parents were 19 when they married, it will be 49 years this year!

I was 24, DH was 25 and we were some of the last of our "crowd" to get married. I'd been out of college for a few years and was supporting myself, DH had gone back for his masters but was also working and supporting himself. We didn't feel young at all. We are hitting 13 amazing yrs this summer.

The argument that drives me crazy about people marrying young is "you need to go out and have a chance to experience life before you settle down." There is nothing I would rather do than experience all kinds of things with my Husband. Just because we got married, doesn't mean we stopped doing things, learning and growing - we just get to do it together!
For me, I was glad I didn't go from my parent's house to college to married life. I spent almost 5 years on my own, and that was helpful to me. I learned a lot that I wouldn't have if I'd been married. I also explored a different set of things than I would have if I'd been married, and I certainly traveled more.

To me though, the big thing that changes your life more than marriage is kids.
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:32 PM   #78
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I know people think "young" since I was 22 when I got married (nearly 23) but I don't think we were young at all to get married.

I know my DD will mention to people she thinks 23-24 is a great time to get married and they freak on her that it is way too young.

When I think young -- I do think those that get married right out of high school the minute they turn 18 type of thing (or get married even earlier in some cases).

I prefer it this way but I guess it is all what you grew up with, etc... My mom had 3 kids by the time she was 28 and so once we were all out of the house, they were still young and running around all over the place. She was more than happy to be Grandma then. I always thought it was great. I have a 10 year age span between my kids and definitely can tell the difference in my patience/ability (I used to have more. LOL!).
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Old 01-24-2013, 04:50 PM   #79
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I was 21 and my husband was 25--I think we were both young!
I think under 27ish is young.

We waited to have kids, though. We had our first a week before our 7th anniversary. Best married decision we ever made was having those 7 years alone together.

We celebrated our 20th anniversary this past October and we're happy as ever.


My friends ranged from getting married at 25 to in their 40s. I had my kids at 28 and 29, two of my friends had their kids in their 20s(the ones who were married in their 20s), the rest in their 30s and a couple had kids in their 40s.

Whatever works, different for everyone.

I do encourage my kids to have 25 as the minimum age for marriage and late twenties for the minimum age for having kids, though.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:00 PM   #80
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I was 19, DH was 21 when we got married. Our 25th anniv is coming up in the next few months! Yes, I would agree we were too young. It all worked out, though.

DD20 just got married a couple of months ago. I definitely had mixed feelings about her age, but she and her DH dated for 4 years, and he is a wonderful young man - the kind that we would have chosen for her!
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:03 PM   #81
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As the thread made me curious ... looked up averages:

AmericasCountry Men Women Average Year Source
United States 28.9 26.9 2011
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:16 PM   #82
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I was 21, DH was 24. We'll be married 32 years this summer. Neither of us ever felt like we missed out on anything, because in each other we have everything. We had our oldest DS 2.5 years later. Absolutely no regrets.

We both lived at home with our families til we got married. That's just the way it worked out. We met in college and we were commuters. He graduated. I didn't, but that was a choice we made. College is not required for everything or everyone.

We have several friends whose kids got married at 20 and 21 and have all been married 6+ years now (they're our kids ages). My youngest DS is 26 and is getting married in the spring. His fiance is also 26. For them it was simply timing. They didn't meet til they were 24.

The idea that "graduate" school is why people wait longer now makes no sense. I know a lot of people who were married while in grad school, even undergrad(even recently). Heck, my parents got married at 20 and my dad finished his BS, MS and his PhD all after they got married. Kind of like the idea you have to buy a house first? Why? Most of our friends rented small apartments when they first married and they were very happy. They then saved together and bought together, etc.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:17 PM   #83
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It is so nice to read that many people married young and are still so much in love with their significant others : I am 24 now and I could not picture myself getting married anytime within the next few years. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, and we live together, but I still feel like I am too young. I am still in school and do not feel ready to make that commitment until I am established in my career and financially as well. Many of my cousins were married at 22/23, and only one of my friends is married (she is 31). I think it is different for everyone, though. Sometimes people are ready to get married in their early 20's, some would prefer to wait to marry until their 30's, 40's, etc.
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Old 01-24-2013, 05:21 PM   #84
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I believe very strongly in living together for at least a year before you get married. My husband and I started dating when I was 26, moved in together when we were 28, and got married at 30. (There was work-based separation during the living-together phase, or it would probably have been six months earlier.)

I know there are many examples to the contrary, but in my own weird experience, every single person I know well who got married before 25 is now divorced.
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Old 01-24-2013, 06:31 PM   #85
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GrnMtnMan View Post
Official numbers for the US: 28.9 for men and 26.9 for women.

Source.
Broken link, unfortunately. I wanted to see if that was for all marriages or for first marriages.

I think anything under 25 is young, but virtually everyone I know went to college and then many to graduate school. If you enter the work force directly from high school, maybe you're ready a little earlier.
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:04 PM   #86
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I don't think 24 is young to get married. I was 19, DH was 22, that was young. Still going strong after 25 years, but I wish I had waited a little longer. I went straight from my parent's house to being married, I wish I had lived on my own for awhile.

My grandma was married at 13, and was a widow with seven kids when she was 27. Now that's young!!!
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:25 PM   #87
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I think anyone who wed before 30 got married young. Nothing negative or judgmental about it; IMO you're still young while in your twenties.

Perhaps many people are equating the neutral "young" with the pejorative "too young." I don't believe getting married at 24 is too young, but, yes, you're still young.

A negative "too young" for me in most cases would be under 21, although there are exceptions. Too much of a risk getting married under 21, IMO.

Jim

For the record, I was 40, my wife was 38, and our daughters were 13 and 10.
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Old 01-24-2013, 07:38 PM   #88
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodifla View Post
For me, I was glad I didn't go from my parent's house to college to married life. I spent almost 5 years on my own, and that was helpful to me. I learned a lot that I wouldn't have if I'd been married. I also explored a different set of things than I would have if I'd been married, and I certainly traveled more.

To me though, the big thing that changes your life more than marriage is kids.
I totally agree with the end. I feel like the difference between single/married was much smaller for me then how different things were once we had kids.
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Old 01-24-2013, 08:02 PM   #89
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wgeo View Post
My parents were 19 when they married, it will be 49 years this year!

I was 24, DH was 25 and we were some of the last of our "crowd" to get married. I'd been out of college for a few years and was supporting myself, DH had gone back for his masters but was also working and supporting himself. We didn't feel young at all. We are hitting 13 amazing yrs this summer.

The argument that drives me crazy about people marrying young is "you need to go out and have a chance to experience life before you settle down." There is nothing I would rather do than experience all kinds of things with my Husband. Just because we got married, doesn't mean we stopped doing things, learning and growing - we just get to do it together!
wgeo, congratulations to your parents!

When I started reading this thread, I thought I'd "win." I was just-turned 19 and DH was just-turned 21 when we got married. We had dated for five years before that, and we'll celebrate 47 years married, 52 years together in May. And they said it wouldn't last LOL!

It also annoys me when people say "experience life before you settle down." Since I've been married, I've lived in ten countries and visited several dozen more - how much more life could I have experienced single?

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Old 01-24-2013, 08:11 PM   #90
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wgeo, congratulations to your parents!

When I started reading this thread, I thought I'd "win." I was just-turned 19 and DH was just-turned 21 when we got married. We had dated for five years before that, and we'll celebrate 47 years married, 52 years together in May. And they said it wouldn't last LOL!

It also annoys me when people say "experience life before you settle down." Since I've been married, I've lived in ten countries and visited several dozen more - how much more life could I have experienced single?

Queen Colleen
Thanks Queen Colleen

But really I think you should take the win - they only dated for a year so you've been together longer! They actually just made plans to stay in Kissimmee to celebrate their anniversary this year - and my mom asked if I would recommend anything for them to do while they were there . What's sad is that no matter what I recommend they'll probably just golf the whole time .

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